Pastor Paul Robie April 20-21, 2013
Problem: The lies regarding beauty are especially DESTRUCTIVE to our TEENS.
 They know that certain teens get special ATTENTION because they are considered beautiful, while others are IGNORED.
Did you know… o On average, American women have 13 negative body thoughts every day. o Every year Americans spend $20 Billion on Cosmetics; $74 Billion on diet foods;
$2 Billion on hair products; $7.4 million on cosmetic surgery. o 7 million American girls are struggling with eating disorders. o At 13, 53% of American girls do not like their bodies. o At 17, 78% of American girls do not like their bodies.
What about you? Ask yourself…
1.
Are you easily annoyed by, envious of, or judgmental of those who represent a kind of beauty you think you could never attain?
2.
Do you tend to be more concerned about how you look on the outside than who you are becoming on the inside?
3.
Do you tend to make snap judgments about people when you first see them?
4.
Do you spend more time reading about how to look more attractive than you do allowing your soul to be nourished by God’s Word?
5.
Do you regularly replay negative things people have said about your appearance, to the point of it often affecting your mood?
Lie #1: Being Beautiful Will MAKE ME HAPPY
Truth #1: Beauty can’t make us happy because it doesn’t have that POWER - It is never
ENOUGH - it just “is.” (Genesis 29:16-18; 30:1)
Genesis 29:16-18 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. 18
Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, "I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel."

Genesis 30:1 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous
of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!"
“Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. We know that. Somewhere down deep, we know it to be true. Most of our shame comes from this knowing and feeling that we have failed here.”
- Stasi Eldredge (Captivating)
Truth #2: A focus on beauty can’t make us happy because it BLINDS us to the value of how
God designed us.
BIG IDEA: Since we cannot change what others think is beautiful, and we can’t change what
God gave us, we can make some important choices…
 We can OPT OUT of the beauty “GAME.” (Isaiah 61:1-3)
Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign L ORD is on me, because the L ORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the L ORD 's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead
of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
 We can OPT INTO SHALOM = God’s view of beauty. (Isaiah 53:2 & Psalm 27:4)
Isaiah 53:2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no
beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in appearance that we should desire him.
Psalm 27:4 One thing I ask of the L ORD , this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the
L ORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the L ORD and to seek him in his temple.
“We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words - to be untied with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves.”
- C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)
Lie #2: How I look is WHO I AM
Truth #1: When we focus on OUTER beauty we miss the benefits of INNER beauty.
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the
unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Truth #2: Whatever God makes IS BEAUTIFUL - a focus on outer beauty keeps us from gaining this perspective. (Psalm 139:14)
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the L ORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The L ORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the L ORD looks at the heart."
1.
When you were 16 what did you believe about the “beautiful people?”
I imagine that at 16 we never stopped thinking about how we looked. I also imagine that we compared ourselves with others to the point of distraction and destruction. Braces, acne, hair issues, body issues, et cetera are all opportunities for negative body image thoughts. I want us all to think about what we say to our children in regards to beauty.
We need to ask ourselves whether or not we are adding to their anxiety over “beauty” or if we are helping them navigate these treacherous waters. It is amazing how powerful our mom’s or dad’s words regarding our appearance has such power to heal or hurt. Spend some time on this and see if there isn’t some healing in your people that needs to happen.
2.
How has your life been affected by the lies about beauty that are part of our culture?
This is similar to Question 1 but it moves us into the present. We might get to those
“daddy wounds” in women by asking this question, if we didn’t get to those wounds in the last question. This is a good time to discuss what our culture values in regard to beauty.
What has that definition done to our soul? We want to dig deep here and find out how the
“beauty lies” of our culture have REAL destructive power. This question is designed to bring to the surface those issues.
3.
Read Genesis 29:16-30:1 and discuss why beauty is never enough to satisfy us.
This is the story of Jacob and Rachel. It is interesting to note that the Bible never tries to convince us that some people are considered beautiful and some aren’t. It also is important to see that the Bible recognizes that certain “beauties” get the benefits of their beauty = the attention of men / women, the special regard from our culture (photos, red carpet), et cetera. There is no denying that beauty pays dividends that are not available to all. However, this story also illustrates that beauty is NOT ENOUGH. Once Rachel discovers that her sister Leah is having all the babies and she isn’t, depression and rage enter her world. Not only that, when she finally does get pregnant, she isn’t satisfied with one - she needs MORE. The lesson here is simple; if we NEED something more than God, we are set up for disappointment and depression. So beauty wasn’t enough for Rachel and it isn’t enough for a super-model who is thinking about her appearance everyday, wondering if she will be good looking enough for the next job or if she is past her prime and the younger thinner new girl will push her out.

4.
Read and discuss the BIG IDEA. What would it look like for you to “opt out” of the
“beauty game” = the “game” of determining our value and the value of others by how we / they look. Connect this with what you took away from the Martina McBride song.
When we say “opt out” of the beauty game, we mean that we all have a choice to make.
Either we can compare ourselves (how we look) with others, we can decide about a person’s worth and value based on their appearance, we can feel mad at God because of some perceived deficiency in our looks department - OR - we can choose to opt out of all of that. The “game” is what the world is playing. But we don’t need to play. We can do our best to look our best without playing “the game.” We can appreciate the beauty of others, without making that something that gives them more value than others; and in so doing, opt out of the “beauty game.” The Martina McBride song “God’s Will” is a good reminder that we have gotten caught in the “game.” Whether we know it or not, we have taken on the value system of our world and it has affected the way we look at others and ourselves.
The little boy that entered Martina’s life was handicapped and sick. He wouldn’t normally be valued by our world that likes tall, dark and handsome athletic types. But she was able to see Will as God’s Will and not just some poor kid with little value. We need to question what our world has done to us by its full on barrage of images of beauty that infect how we view others and ourselves.
5.
Read Isaiah 53:2 & Psalm 27:4. How is it that Jesus can lack “beauty” and be “beautiful” all at the same time?
This is going to take some thought. Isaiah wrote that the Messiah will not be some “good looking” hunk that everyone is attracted to. Compare and contrast what Is. 53:2 says with what you may have seen in the T.V. series The Bible. Jesus is depicted as tall, dark and handsome. I believe this was done because of our preoccupation with beauty - or at least, what our cultural norm for beauty is today. The producers of the series knew that for Jesus to be attractive to the American eye, he had to be good looking. Are we shallow or what?
Psalm 27:4 talks about how we will appreciate the beauty of the Lord someday. This means that there is something to be said about beauty being more than skin deep. We will be attracted to the beauty of God’s character and personality. Jesus Christ is the most attractive person we will ever meet and yet, he is not good looking by our world’s standards.
6.
Read and discuss 1 Peter 3:3-4. How can we be honest about outward beauty and at the same time not be subject to its’ “value system?”
This, again is not an easy question to answer. We can and should appreciate that beauty exists and it is not a bad thing to tell someone that they are beautiful. But if we only compliment the one who has external beauty we miss the opportunity to value what God values. We can be matter of fact about the reality that some people have won the lottery in the “looks” department… nothing wrong with that. But we don’t need to value that person above others = that would mean we were still playing the game.