The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing
By Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein
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Academic writing requires to express
themselves and respond to others
Effective writers do more than make claims (“I
say”); they also map those claims relative to the
claims of others (“They say”)
Writing as series of moves
Seasoned writers do these naturally…
templates help the rest of us learn them
explicitly!
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To help you become a critical, intellectual
thinker who can participate in conversations in
a meaningful way.
“You come late. When you arrive, others have long preceded you,
and they are engaged in a heated discussion, as discussion too
heated for them to pause and tell you exactly what it is about…
You listen for a while, until you decide you have caught the tenor
of the argument; then you put in your oar. Someone answers; you
answer him; another comes to your defense; another aligns himself
against you… The hour grows late, you must depart. And you do
depart, with the discussion still vigorously in progress”
-Kenneth Burke, The Philosophy of Literary Form
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Most importantly: writing needs a point
Not only your point, but what larger
conversation your thesis is responding to
Must come first
Best to state your position and the one you’re
responding to ASAP. Elaborate later!
Always keep what “they say” connected in
your essay… gives you a sense of mission and
urgency
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Introduce standard views
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Introduce something implied or assumed
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Conventional wisdom has it that…
Although X doesn’t say so directly, she apparently
assumes that….
Introduce ongoing debate
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On the one hand…. On the other hand…. Others
even maintain… My own view is…
The following claims all provide an “I Say.” See
if you can supply a plausible “They Say.”
What might these be responding to?
1. Our experiments suggest that there are
dangerous levels of Chemical X in the Ohio
groundwater.
2. My own view is that this novel has certain
flaws.
3. Football is so boring.
4. I’m afraid that templates like the ones in this
book will stifle my creativity.
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Central tool
Balance between the original author and your
thoughts
Theory: “The Believing Game” (Peter Elbow)
Try to inhabit their worldview– readers
shouldn’t be able to tell whether you agree or
disagree
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Read what Zinczenko says
In his article, “Don’t Blame the Eater,” David
Zinczenko accuses the fast food companies of an evil
conspiracy to make people fat. I disagree because
these companies have to make money.
Natural to summarize others quickly, but be
fair
Avoid “closest cliché syndrome”
Entering conversation: study very closely and
not collapse it into something you have already
heard or know
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But remember, your goal is your own response
Summary has to fit your agenda, while still
being true to the text
In his article “Don’t Blame the Eater,” David Zinczenko argues that today’s
fast food chains fill the nutritional void in children’s lives left by their overtaxed
working parents. With many parents working long hours and unable to supervise what
their children eat, Zinczenko claims, children today regularly turn to low-cost, calorieladen foods that the fast food chains are all too eager to supply. When he himself was a
young boy, for instance, and his single mother was away at work, he ate at Taco Bell,
McDonald’s, and other chains on a regular basis and ended up overweight. Zinczenko’s
hope is that with the new spate of lawsuits against the food industry, other children
with working parents will have healthier choices available to them, and they will not,
like him, become obese.
In my view, however, it is the parents, and not the food chains who are
responsible for their children’s obesity. While it is true that many of today’s parents
work long hours, there are still several things that parents can do to guarantee that
their children eat healthy foods.
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Fair summary, but also points toward the
second paragraph: the writer’s thesis
Make sure your “they say” and “I say” are well
matched
Avoid LIST summaries
Bottom line:
Summarize the author’s views accurately,
in a way that fits your own agenda. DO
NOT, however, ignore or misrepresent
the source.
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Signal verbs that fit
Authors don’t “say” or “discuss”
They “urge” “emphasize” and “insist on”
Vivid and precise
She demonstrates that…
In fact, they celebrate the fact that…
_______, he admits.
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Making a claim
Argue
 Insist
 Assert
 Believe
 Claim
 Emphasize
 Observe
 Remind us
 Report
 Suggest
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Expressing Agreement
 Acknowledge
 Admire
 Agree
 Celebrate the fact that
 Corroborate
 Do not deny
 Endorse
 Extol
 Praise
 Reaffirm
 Support
 Verify
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Questioning or Disagreeing
Complain
 Complicate
 Contend
 Contradict
 Deny
 Deplore
 Disavow
 Question
 Refute
 Reject
 Renounce
 Repudiate
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Making
Recommendations
 Advocate
 Call for
 Demand
 Encourage
 Exhort
 Implore
 Plead
 Recommend
 Urge
 Warn
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To get a feel for Peter Elbow’s
“believing game,” write a summary of
some belief that you strongly disagree
with. Then write a summary of the
position that you actually hold on the
topic. Give both summaries to a
classmate and see if they can tell which
position you endorse. If you’ve
succeeded, they won’t be able to tell!
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Write two different one paragraph summaries
of David Zinczenko’s “Don’t Blame the Eater.”
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Write the first one for an essay arguing that, contrary
to what Zinczenko claims, there are inexpensive and
convenient alternatives to fast food restaurants.
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Write the second for an essay that agrees with
Zinczenko in blaming fast food companies for
youthful obesity, but questions his view tht bringing
lawsuits against those companies is a legitimate
response to the problem.
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Compare the two; though they are of the same
article, they should look very different!
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Quoting gives credibility to your summary
Helps ensure that it is fair and accurate
Don’t quote too little/Don’t quote too much
Major problem: assuming the quotations speak
for themselves
Orphan Quotations: they’ve been taken away
from their contexts, and need to be integrated
into their new surroundings
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Two ways to achieve this integration:
1.
2.
Choose quotations wisely
Surround every major quotation with a frame
explaining whose words they are, what the
quotation means and how the quotation
relates to your text.
Quoting what THEY SAY must always be
connected to what YOU SAY!!
Choose Meaningful Passages
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Have a sense of what you want to do with
them
Make sure they are relevant to your work
Have a reason for saying it as a quote instead
of a paraphrase.
If your text develops and they no longer fit,
change the quotes
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Frame Every Quotation
Avoid “Hit and Run” quotes
Susan Bordo writes about women and dieting. “Fiji
is just one example. Until television was introduced in
1995, the islands had no reported cases of eating
disorders. In 1998, three years after programs from the
united States and Britain began broadcasting there,
62% of the girls surveyed reported dieting.”
I think Bordo is right. Another point Bordo makes,
is…
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Make a “quotation sandwich”
Lead-in claim: explain who is speaking and sets
up the quote
Follow up explain why it’s important and what
you take it to say, or have to say about it.
Accurately reflect the spirit of the passage
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Not “Bordo states…” but “Bordo is alarmed that..”
See templates for Introducing Quotations
See templates for Explaining Quotations
The feminist philosopher Susan Bordo deplores the hold that the
Western obsession with dieting has on women. Her basic
argument is that increasing numbers of women across the globe
are being led to see themselves as fat and in need of a diet. Citing
the island of Fiji as a case in point, Bordo notes that “Until
television was introduced in 1995, the islands had no reported
cases of eating disorders. In 1998, three years after programs from
the united States and Britain began broadcasting there, 62% of the
girls surveyed reported dieting.” Bordo’s point is that the West’s
obsession with dieting is spreading even to remote places across
the globe. Ultimately, Bordo complains, the culture of dieting will
find you, regardless of where you live.
Bordo’s observations ring true to me because a friend of mine
from a remote are in China speaks of the cult of dieting among
young women there…
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Integrates, but also serves to demonstrate writer’s
interpretation of Bordo
Show’s that the quote has been used meaningfully
to set up writer’s argument.
Follow up sentences don’t repeat word-for-word:
they echo while still moving in writer’s direction
Hybrid text
Remember: audience needs to see how YOU
interpret the text (quotes can be interpreted
differently to support different agendas)
Find a text that quotes someone’s exact
words as evidence of something “they say.”
How has the writer integrated the quotation
into his or her own text? How has he or she
introduced it and what, if anything, has the
writer said to explain it and tie it to his or her
own text? Based on what you’ve read in this
chapter, are there any changes you would
suggest?
Look at an essay or report that you have written for
one of your classes (Summer Synthesis Essay
and/or Adversity Argument Essay!) Highlight
your quotes/summaries in one color, your
explanation/ connection in a second, and
introductory information in a third.
How have you integrated the quotation into your
own text? How have you introduced it? Explained
what it means? Indicated how it relates to your
text?
Write a paragraph of analysis about your quote
integration.
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Problem: when writers take too long to declare
their position relative to the views they’ve
summarized/quoted
Frustrates readers
Complexity/Originality of you response more
likely to be noticed
Direct, no-nonsense move to state your
position clearly
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I agree…
I disagree…
I am of two minds. I agree that… but I cannot agree
that…
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Disagree- and explain why
Poses hidden challenges
You have to offer persuasive reasons WHY
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Because the argument fails to take relevant factors
into account
Because it’s based on faulty or incomplete evidence
Because it rests on questionable assumptions
Because it uses flawed logic, is contradictory
Because it overlooks what you perceive to be the real
issue
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To move the conversation forward, you need to
demonstrate that you yourself have something
to contribute
“Duh move” - It is true that…; but we already
knew that. (disagree with the assumption that it
is new or stunning info)
“Twist-it move” – you agree with the evidence,
but show a twist of logic that this evidence
actually supports your own position
X argues for stricter gun control legislation, saying that the
crime rate is on the rise and that we need to restrict the circulation of
guns. I agree that the crime rate is on the rise, but that’s precisely why I
oppose stricter gun control legislation. We need to own guns to protect
ourselves against criminals.
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It is better to state our disagreements in frank
(yet considerate) ways than to deny them
There is usually no reason to take issue with
every aspect of someone else’s views
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Agree- but with a difference
You need to do more than simply echo views
you agree with
Bring something new and fresh to the table
Be a valuable participant in the conversation
Point out some unnoticed evidence
Cite some corroborating personal experience
An accessible translation
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See templates for agreeing
Sometimes don’t like to admit that someone
else has already said something
As long as you can support a view without
merely restating what he/she said
When agreeing with someone, you’re most
likely disagreeing with someone else!!
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Agree and Disagree Simultaneously
Helps us get beyond the “is not/is too”
exchanges of immature argument
Enables your readers to place your argument
on a “map” of the broader conversation
Keeps it sufficiently complex
Can be tipped subtly toward one side or the
other
Templates for agreeing and disagreeing
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Can be useful if unsure of your position
You need to be as clear as possible. Making a
frank statement that you are ambivalent is one
way to do that
If done correctly, admitting ambivalence does
not make you wishy-washy.
Can show complex thinking
Read the following passage by Jean Anyon,
an education professor at Rutgers University,
Newark. As you’ll see, she summarizes the
arguments of several other authors before
moving on to tell us what she thinks. Does she
agree with those she summarizes, disagree, or
some combination of both? How do you know?
Read one of the essays at the back of this
book (packet), underlining places where the
author agrees with others, disagrees, or both.
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Readers have to be able to tell at every point
Recognize such signals in reading
Voice-markers
We are all middle class. As a result, our class differences are
muted and our collective character is homogenized.
Class divisions are real and arguably the most significant factor
in determining both our very being in the world and the nature of the
society we live in.
- Gregory Mantsios, “Rewards and Opportunities:
The Politics and Economics of Class in the US”
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“or so it would seem” – shows that he doesn’t
necessarily agree
Placed opening view in quotation marks
Distances himself – “our national consciousness”
“Yet”
Direct, authoritative, declarative tone (2nd par)
Need to be able to distinguish.
Look at previous paragraph without voice
markers
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First person okay… as long as supported
Avoid “I think” “I believe” “I argue” repetitively
You can embed it into your own writing
Ex. Liberals believe that cultural differences need to be
respected. I have a problem with this view, however.
Better Ex. I have a problem with what liberals call
cultural differences.
Better Ex. There is a major problem with the liberal
doctrine about so-called cultural differences
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Embedding references allow you to economize
your train of thought and refer to other
perspectives without any major interruption
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To see how one writer signals when she is
asserting her own views and when she is
summarizing those of someone else, read the
following passage by the social historian Julie
Charlip. As you do so, identify the spots where
Charlip refers to the views of others and the
signal phrases she uses to distinguish her view
from theirs.
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Writing actually improves when we give critics
explicit hearing in our writing
Enhances your credibility
Engages others in a dialogue or debate
Pre-emptive strike
Shows respect for your readers
Come across as broad-minded and secure in
your beliefs
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Templates for Entertaining Objections
Nameless vs. named
You can informally present skeptic as questions
You can informally present skeptic as directly
speaking
I like a couple of cigarettes or a cigar with a drink, and
like many other people, I only smoke in bars or nightclubs. Now
I can’t go to any of my old haunts. Bartenders who were friends
have turned into cops, forcing me outside to shiver in the cold
and curse under my breath… It’s no fun. Smokers are being
demonized and victimized all out of proportion.
“Get over it,” say the anti-smokers. “You’re the
minority.” I thought a great city was a place where all kinds of
minorities could thrive… “Smoking kills,” they say. As an
occasional smoker with otherwise healthy habits, I’ll take my
chances. Health consciousness is important, but so are pleasure
and freedom of choice.
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Be fair: Stay with your objections for several
sentences
Answer objections: make sure counter-arg is
not more convincing than your own
Make sure you can overcome them
Opportunity to revise and refine your own
position
Don’t dismiss them out of hand
Agree with certain parts, while challenging
only those you dispute
“Admit it. You like yourself better when you’ve lost
weight.”
Can I deny these things? No woman who has managed to
lose weight would wish to argue with this. Most people feel
better about themselves when they become slender. And yet,
upon reflection, it seems to me that there is something precarious
about this well-being. After all, 98 percent of people who lose
weight gain it back. Indeed, 90 percent of those who have dieted
“successfully” gain back more than they ever lost. Then, of
course, we can no longer bear to look at ourselves in the mirror.
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Even as she concedes, she argues that in the
long run the weight returns, making you more
miserable
Combined version that incorporates elements
of each
See templates for making concessions while
still standing your ground
Combined versions are often the most
productive and engaging
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Read the following passage from the cultural
critic Eric Schlosser. As you’ll see, he’s not
planted any naysayers in this text. Do it for
him. Insert a brief paragraph stating an
objection to his argument and then responding
to the objection as he might
SKIP
CHAPTER
7
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Problem: when your sentences follow each
other making no connection to what has just
been said, or what is coming
Ex. Spot is a good dog. He has fleas.
Solution: converse not only with others, but
with yourself
Conversations establish momentum and
direction by making explicit connections
Metaphor: arms that reach backward and
forward
Transitions
Usually near beginning of sentences
Signal where text is going: same direction or new?
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Echo previous sentiment (In other words…)
 Adding something to it (In addition…)
 Offering an example of it (For example…)
 Generalizing from it (As a result…)
 Modifying it (And yet…)
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See commonly used transitions
They should recede into the background
Don’t overuse them!
Make sure you’re using the right one
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Therefore vs. Nevertheless
Pointing Words – have to point to something
specific
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This, that, these, those, their, such
His, he her, she, it, their
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Repeat Yourself – but with a difference
Say the same thing you’ve just said, but in a
slightly different way
Avoid monotony
Build bridges
Echo, but simultaneously move into new
territory
The girl loved basketball. Nevertheless, she feared
her height would put her at a disadvantage
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Read over something you’ve written with an
eye for the devices you’ve used to connect the
parts. Underline all the transitions, pointing
terms, and repetition. Do you see any patterns?
Do you rely on certain devices more than
others? Are there any passages that are hard to
follow-and if so, can you make them easier to
ready by adding appropriate transitions or
trying any of the other devices discussed in this
chapter. Try revising your text to include
different ones.