Relationship The closer they get to each other, The Porcupine Dilemma the more likely they are to get hurt. How to Handle ANGER Psalm 133: 1 “Behold, How good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!” Ephesians 4: 1-3 1. I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2. with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, 3. being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. All of us are responsible to maintain If ourthis brotherunity: has sinned … Matthew 18: 15-17 “If your brother sins … go and show him his fault in private…” Galatians 6: 1-5 “if anyone is caught in a trespass, you…restore such a one…” All of us are responsible to maintain this unity: Whether YOU have sinned or not … Matthew 5: 23-24 “If you know that your brother has something against you … leave your offering … be reconciled … then …” Summary: Romans 12: 18 “As far as it depends on you, Be at peace with all men.” Resolving Conflict Let’s Do It God’s Way! Rules for a Clean Fight based on Ephesians 4: 25-32 (adapted from Strike the Original Match, by Chuck Swindoll) 1.Make a commitment to Honesty and Truth truth (Eph. 4: 25) “Speak _______________ to one another. . . members of one another.” for we are _______________ This is a 2 way pursuit (1) Seek the truth (2) Speak the truth deeper understanding Our goal must be for deeper ______________________ WIN NOT to _______________ the argument, we BOTH lose or else _____________________________ ! defensive Don’t get ____________________ ! each other are coming from. Try to understand where _____________ 2. Deal with it A.S.A.P. (But, … Before you begin, you must Both agree that the time is right!) (Eph. 4: 26-27) “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, and do not give the devil an opportunity ________________________________!” Deal with it A.S.A.P. ! If not now . . . then decide When will it be a good time? Then schedule it! _____________________________________ And make it SOON. 3. Make sure your weapons are not deadly! • Eph. 4: 26 do not sin “Be angry, yet ________________” • James 3: 5-8 Deadly poison “the tongue is full of _____________________...” REMEMBER: WORDS CAN KILL!!!!! • John 1: 14 grace truth Jesus was full of “_____________ and ___________” 4. Don’t raise your voice or lose self control. Ephesians 4: 29 good for edification Only say what is ___________________ … according to the need of the moment! Proverbs 15: 1 turns away wrath “A soft answer ___________________ .” 4. Don’t raise your voice or lose self control. You can still say what needs to be said, but speak gently, with kindness and grace, tact (i.e. “___________”) Colossians 4: 6 “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt …” as though ____________________ 5. Never reveal private matters in public! Ephesians 4: 31 “Let all bitterness, wrath, . . . and slander away from you be put _____________…” Dont’ go around trying to get your friends to take sides with you. gossip (that’s called “___________”) 6. Respect each other’s limits. The Principle: Ephesians 4: 32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted …” _________________, 6. Respect each other’s limits. Example: Agree to STOP when someone says, “STOP!” Ephesians 4: 29 “only words that are good for building each other up ________________________.” 6. Respect each other’s limits. Excellent & challenging verses: −Ephesians 4: 2 - 3 −Philippians 2: 3 - 4 −Colossians 3: 12 - 14 7. Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. Ephesians 4: 32 “…forgive each other … JUST AS God in Christ has forgiven you _______________________________!” 7. Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. How has God forgiven us? Fully Finally Freely Forever Psalm 103: 11 – 12 “As far as the EAST is from the WEST, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” 7. Once the issue is resolved, help seek forgiveness and restoration. 70 X 7 forgive, forgive forgive forgive, forgive forgive forgive forgive And don’t bring the issue up again, UNTIL … forgive You BOTH agree that you need to discuss it again! Personal Application: Looking back at the last time you were angry or had to resolve a conflict with someone . . . • Which of the 7 rules did you find it most difficult to practice? (choose 1 or 2) • What specific things can you do to better practice that rule?