SESSION V
Helping Your Children Internalize Biblical
Values
1. Restoring Your Relationship with Your
Children
2. Establishing their Relationship with God
INTERNALIZING VALUES
INTERNALIZING VALUES
PART ONE: RESTORING RELATIONSHIPS
WITH CHILDREN
Conflicts are inevitable in relationships.
Unresolved conflicts negatively effect
relationships.
• When the messenger is not ACCEPTED the
message is REJECTED.
• Conflicts arise when values are not SHARED.
• Values are not shared when RELATIONSHIPS
are broken.
• How do you know if relationships are strained?
INTERNALIZING VALUES
1. Start with OURSELVES
Matthew 7:3-5 – 3And why do you look at
the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but
do not notice the log that is in your own
eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother,
‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and
behold, the log is in your own eye? 5You
hypocrite, first take the log out of your own
eye, and then you will see clearly to take
the speck out of your brother’s eye.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
2. INITIATE restoration of relationship.
Romans 15:7 – Wherefore, accept one
another, just as Christ also accepted us to the
glory of God.
a. Unconditional ACCEPTANCE
b. PROACTIVE love.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
3. INITIATE FORGIVENESS
• ADMIT your mistakes.
• Ask FORGIVENESS from your children.
• Ask forgiveness from your own
PARENTS.
• Forgive your CHILDREN.
• Forgive your PARENTS.
“Forgiveness is the oil that reduces the friction in
relationships.”
INTERNALIZING VALUES
4. ASK how we can improve.
a. We should do this REGULARLY.
b. We should not rationalize or DEFEND
ourselves.
c. We should listen.
d. We should CHANGE for the better.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
5. Demonstrate TRUST.
a. Avoid the “ONE-MISTAKE” syndrome
– because of one mistake, we don’t
trust them anymore.
b. Avoid RECALLING their past
mistakes.
c. Give them the BENEFIT of the doubt.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
6. Major on the MAJOR.
a. Don’t have to fight EVERY issue.
b. Give in to MINOR issues.
c. Learn to ADJUST.
d. Communicate core VALUES.
e. Ask: Is it a MORAL issue?
f. Ask: Will it MATTER10 years from now?
INTERNALIZING VALUES
7. Allow God time to WORK.
a. Give them SPACE.
b. Give them TIME.
c. Allow God to work in YOUR life.
d. Allow God to work in THEIR lives.
e. PRAY!
f. ENTRUST them to God.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
8. Have FUN!
a. Have a JOYFUL environment.
b. Have a POSITIVE home environment.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
PART TWO
The ultimate goal of parenting is to help
our children mature into Christ-likeness.
To learn to live independently from us
and be dependent on the Lord. Most
parents focus on external behavior. What
is crucial is how they will behave when
we are no longer around.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
I.
THE GOD FACTOR
SECULAR
PARENTING
INTERNALIZING VALUES
I.
THE GOD FACTOR
SECULAR TRADITIONAL
PARENTING CHRISTIAN
PARENTING
INTERNALIZING VALUES
I.
THE GOD FACTOR
SECULAR TRADITIONAL
PARENTING CHRISTIAN
PARENTING
BIBLICAL
PARENTING
INTERNALIZING VALUES
SECULAR
TRADITIONAL
God is left out.
Parents may or
may not know
God.
Secular and
temporal values –
career.
Bible is not
taught.
God is mentioned.
Parents may or
may not know
God.
Christian values
taught.
God is central.
Parents know
and love God.
Bible is taught.
Bible is taught
and lived.
Parents delegate
responsibility to
others.
Parents delegate
responsibility of
education to
church and
Christian school.
BIBLICAL
Christian values
modeled.
Parents assume
the responsibility.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
SECULAR
TRADITIONAL
Parents not
connected to
God.
Children don’t
know God.
Parents don’t
connect children
to God.
Children don’t
know God.
BIBLICAL
Parents connect
children to God.
Children know
God personally.
Children worldly / Children
Children love and
materialistic.
lukewarm/worldly serve God.
Children
accountable to
friends / other
people.
Children
accountable to
parents and to
people.
Children
accountable to
parents and to
God.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
SECULAR
TRADITIONAL
Approach:
Approach:
Too liberal or too
strict.
“Do as I say not
as I do”.
Legalistic
Do’s and don’ts
Impose Christian
religion.
Impose values.
Impose church.
BIBLICAL
Approach:
Love and Grace
Love and Grace
Discipline in love
Proactive not
reactive.
Model God’s
Word.
Teach God’s
Word.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
SECULAR
TRADITIONAL
BIBLICAL
End Product:
End Product:
End Product:
Children develop
secular values.
Children
compromise
Christian values.
Children
internalize
Christian values.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
1. There’s a God-shaped VACUUM in
the heart of every person including
our children. Only God can FILL that
void and emptiness in us.
2. Children are not just physical beings.
They are also EMOTIONAL beings
and SPIRITUAL beings.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
BODY
SOUL
SPIRIT
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
Mark 8:36-37 – “For what does it profit a
man to gain the whole world, and forfeit
his soul? For what shall a man give in
exchange for his soul?”
Ephesians 2:1 – And you were dead in
your trespasses and sins.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
They try to fill the emptiness with
SUBSTITUTES.
• Parties
• Relationships
• Activities
• Possessions
• Drugs
• Music
• Movies, TV, Computer
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
3.
•
•
•
God WANTS us to know Him.
To know God is to LOVE Him.
To love Him is to OBEY Him.
An unknown God cannot be LOVED
or TRUSTED
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
3. God KNOW us to know Him.
Jeremiah 9:23-24 - Thus says the Lord, “Let not
a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the
mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich
man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who
boasts boast of this, that he understands and
knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises
lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on
earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the
Lord.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
4. Our children can have a personal
RELATIONSHIP with God through Jesus
Christ.
John 14:6 – Jesus said to him, “I am the way,
and the truth, and the life; no one comes to
the Father, but through Me.
Romans 6:23 – For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ
Jesus our Lord.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
5. Our children’s hearts can only be
TRANSFORMED by God and His Word.
Ezekiel 36:26 – “Moreover, I will give you a
new heart and put a new spirit within you; and
I will remove the heart of stone from your
flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
2 Timothy 3:16 – All Scripture is inspired by
God and profitable for teaching, for reproof,
for correction, for training in righteousness.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
6. Our children need to be EMPOWERED
by the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:16 – But I say, walk by the Spirit,
and you will not carry out the desire of the
flesh.
Galatians 5:22-23 – 22But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, selfcontrol; against such things there is no law.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
II. THE NEED FOR GOD
7. Our children need our PRAYERS.
John 16:24 – “Until now you have asked for
nothing in My name; ask, and you will
receive, that your joy may be made full
INTERNALIZING VALUES
1. “When we work, we work; when we PRAY
God works”
2. It is important they have God in their life to
reach their full POTENTIAL to love, serve
and obey Him.
3. Fulfillment comes when their lives are in
LINE with the will of God.
4. Parenting is not about us but it is God
WORKING in and through us and DIRECTLY
in the hearts and lives of our children.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
5. We must realize that APART from God, we
can do nothing of eternal values.
6. We are just STEWARDS of God’s children.
7. We must make the most of the
OPPORTUNITY that God has given us to
raise up our children for Him.
INTERNALIZING VALUES
CONCLUSION
SESSION V
Helping Your Children Internalize
Biblical Values
1. Will you restore your
healthy relationship with
your children?
2. Will you establish their
relationship with God?
INTERNALIZING VALUES
“Pa, salamat
guid sa imo…”
“Ma, I love
you …”