The SAT Essay:
Rules of Engagement - Elaboration
Writing a Killer SAT Essay
Clements, Tom. HOW TO WRITE A KILLER SAT ESSAY.
Print.
Moraga: TC Tutoring, 2011.
Rules of Engagement:
• Subordination
▫ Good prose style is characterized by heavy use of
subordination.
▫ Subordination lends variety to your writing style
by replacing short, choppy, subject-verb-object
sentences with longer, more elegant sentences,
incorporating dependent clauses.
▫ Let’s look at some examples….
Rules of Engagement:
Subordination – examples:
• Without Subordination:
▫ Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus. She
inspired the Civil Rights movement.
• With Opening Element:
▫ After refusing to give up her seat on the bus, Rosa
Parks inspired the Civil Rights movement.
• With Interrupting Element
▫ Rosa Parks, an inspiration to the Civil Rights
movement, refused to give up her seat in the back of
the bus.
• With Closing Element:
▫ Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat in the back of
the bus, inspiring the Civil Rights movement.
Rules of Engagement: Subordination
Three ways to add subordination:
1. THE IDENTIFIER (Appositive)
• A noun, noun phrase, or series of nouns placed next
to another word or phrase to identify or rename it.
• Nonrestrictive appositives are usually set off
by commas, parentheses, or dashes.
• An appositive may be introduced by a word or
phrase such as namely, for example, or that is.
Rules of Engagement: Subordination
Three ways to add subordination:
1. THE IDENTIFIER (Appositive)
▫
Names of persons, places, objects, and other kinds of names
readers might not understand unless the writer identifies them.
Without identifiers:
▫
▫





I came to philosophy as a last resort.
Ned came in and let the boarders out.
The dictionary had a picture of an aardvark.
With identifiers:
A professional football player, print and television journalist,
academic English teacher and world traveler, I came to philosophy
as a last resort. (John McMurtry, “Kill ‘Em! Crush ‘Em! Eat ‘Em Raw!”)
Ned, the lanky high-school student who cleaned the cages and fed
the animals morning and evening, came in and let the boarders out.
(Sue Miller, While I Was Gone)


The dictionary had a picture of an aardvark, a long-tailed, longeared, burrowing African mammal living off termites caught by
sticking out its tongue as an anteater does for ants.
(Malcomlm X and Alex Haley, The Autobiography of Malcolm X)
Rules of Engagement: Subordination
2. THE ELABORATOR (Absolute)
• Elaborating is a way of telling your readers more
information and details so they understand
clearly and completely what you are writing
about.
• A group of words that modifies an independent
clause as a whole.
• An absolute is made up of a noun and
its modifiers (which frequently, but not always,
include a participle or participial phrase).
2. THE ELABORATOR (Absolute)
• An absolute may precede, follow, or interrupt
the main clause:
▫ Their slender bodies sleek and black
against the orange sky, the storks circled high
above us.
▫ The storks circled high above us, their slender
bodies sleek and black against the orange
sky.
▫ The storks, their slender bodies sleek and
black against the orange sky, circled high
above us.
3. The Describer: Participle
• A participle phrase will begin with a present or
past participle.
• If the participle is present, it will dependably end
in -ing.
• Likewise, a regular past participle will end in a
consistent -ed.
• Irregular past participles, unfortunately,
conclude in all kinds of ways [although this
list will help].
The Describer: Participle
• Since all phrases require two or more words, a
participle phrase will often include objects
and/or modifiers that complete the thought.
Here are some examples:
• Crunching caramel corn for the entire movie
• Washed with soap and water
• Stuck in the back of the closet behind the
obsolete computer
The Describer: Participle
• Participle phrases always function
as adjectives, adding description to the
sentence. Read these examples:
• The horse trotting up to the fence hopes that
you have an apple or carrot.
▫ Trotting up to the fence modifies
the noun horse.
• The water drained slowly in the pipe clogged
with dog hair.
▫ Clogged with dog hair modifies the noun pipe.
• Eaten by mosquitoes, we wished that we had
made hotel, not campsite, reservations.
▫ Eaten by mosquitoes modifies the pronoun we.
Don't mistake a present participle
phrase for a gerund phrase.
• Gerund and present participle phrases are easy
to confuse because they both begin with
an ing word. The difference is the function that
they provide in the sentence. A gerund phrase
will always behave as a noun while a present
participle phrase will act as an adjective. Check
out these examples:
Don't mistake a present participle phrase
for a gerund phrase.
• Walking on the beach, Delores dodged jellyfish
that had washed ashore.
▫ Walking on the beach = present participle phrase describing the noun Delores.
• Walking on the beach is painful if jellyfish have
washed ashore.
▫ Walking on the beach = gerund phrase, the subject of the verb is.
• Waking to the buzz of the alarm clock,
Freddie cursed the arrival of another Monday.
▫ Waking to the buzz of the alarm clock = present participle phrase describing the
noun Freddie.
• Freddie hates waking to the buzz of the alarm
clock.
▫ Waking to the buzz of the alarm clock = gerund phrase, the direct object of the
verb hates.
Don't misplace or dangle your
participle phrases.
• Participle phrases are the most common modifier
to misplace or dangle. In clear, logical sentences,
you will find modifiers right next to the words they
describe.
▫ Shouting with happiness, William celebrated his
chance to interview at SunTrust.
 Notice that the participle phrase sits right in front of
William, the one doing the shouting.
• If too much distance separates a modifier and its
target, the modifier is misplaced.
▫ Draped neatly on a hanger, William borrowed
Grandpa's old suit to wear to the interview.
 The suit, not William, is on the hanger! The modifier must
come closer to the word it is meant to describe:
▫ For the interview, William borrowed Grandpa's old suit,
which was draped neatly on a hanger.
The Infinitive Phrase
• Recognize an infinitive
phrase when you see one.
• An infinitive phrase will begin with
an infinitive [to + simple form of the verb]. It
will include objects and/or modifiers. Here
are some examples:
• To smash a spider
• To kick the ball past the dazed goalie
• To lick the grease from his shiny fingers
despite the disapproving glances of his
girlfriend Gloria
The Infinitive Phrase
• Infinitive phrases can function as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs.
Look at these examples:
• To finish her shift without spilling another pizza into a
customer's lap is Michelle's only goal tonight.
▫ To finish her shift without spilling another pizza into a customer's
lap functions as a noun because it is the subject of the sentence.
• Lakesha hopes to win the approval of her mother by switching her
major from fine arts to pre-med.
▫ To win the approval of her mother functions as a noun because it is
the direct object for the verbhopes.
• The best way to survive Dr. Peterson's boring history lectures is
a sharp pencil to stab in your thigh if you catch yourself drifting off.
▫ To survive Dr. Peterson's boring history lectures functions as an
adjective because it modifies way.
• Kelvin, an aspiring comic book artist, is taking Anatomy and
Physiology this semester to understand the interplay of muscle
and bone in the human body.
▫ To understand the interplay of muscle and bone in the human
body functions as an adverb because it explains why Kelvin is taking the
class.
Punctuate an infinitive phrase correctly.
• When an infinitive phrase introduces a main clause, separate the two
sentence components with a comma. The pattern looks like this:
• INFINITINIIVEHRASE + , + MAIN CLAUSE.
• Read this example:
• To avoid burning another bag of popcorn, Brendan pressed his nose
against the microwave door, sniffing suspiciously.
• When an infinitive phrase breaks the flow of a main clause, use a
comma both before and after the interrupter. The pattern looks like
this:
• START OF MAIN CLAUSE + , + INTERRUPTER + , + END OF MAIN CLAUSE.
• Here is an example:
• Those basketball shoes, to be perfectly honest, do not complement
the suit you are planning to wear to the interview.
• When an infinitive phrase concludes a main clause, you need no
punctuation to connect the two sentence parts. The pattern looks like
this:
• MAIN CLAUSE + Ø + INFINITIVE PHRASE.
• Check out this example:
• Janice and her friends went to the mall to flirt with the cute guys
who congregate at the food court.
Rules of Engagement: Subordination Practice
• Opening Element:
▫ ▲, I reeled around to face Boo Radley and his
bloody fangs. My shoulders were up.
▫ Combined: My shoulders up, I reeled around to
face Boo Radley and his bloody fangs.
 Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Rules of Engagement: Subordination Practice
Interrupting Element
• A wild-eyed horse, ▲, trotted frantically through
the mounds of men, tossing its head, whinnying
in panic. Its bridle was torn and dangling.
• Combined: A wild-eyed horse, its bridle torn and
dangling, trotted frantically through the mounds
of men, tossing its head, whinnying in panic.
▫ Lois Lowry, The Giver
Rules of Engagement: Subordination Practice
Closing Element
• The baby slept, ▲. Its cheek was sideways
against her shoulder.
• Combined: The baby slept, its cheek sideways
against her shoulder.
▫ John Steinbeck, The Pearl
Works Cited
1. Killgallon, Don, and Jenny Killgallon. Paragraphs
for High School: A Sentence-composing
Approach: A Student Worktext. Portsmouth, NH:
Heinemann, 2012. Print.
2. Simmons, Robin L. "ENTER." Grammar Bytes!
Grammar Instruction with Attitude. N.p., 2014.
Web. 27 May 2014.