Verbal
Judo
MARTIAL ARTS FOR THE MIND AND
THE MOUTH
TACTICAL COMMUNICATION
For Professionals
Sgt Tricia Thein
Marshalltown Police Department
pthein@ci.marshalltown.ia.us
641-754-5725
What is Verbal Judo
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A tactical, physical skill, designed to soften an
adversary’s resistance to your authority.
A learned skill-not naturally createdVerbal Judo DEFLECTS and REDIRECTS the
negative energy of an opponent in order to gain control
of a situation.
The ultimate purpose is to keep YOU safer, and the
needs of your community met. If you are not safe, and
the community feels un-served, everything else is
irrelevant.
VERBAL JUDO
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A skill that many have had for many yearseither they didn’t know it
it didn’t have a fancy name
they were considered good PR people
-Unconscious
competence
This is now recognized as a learned skill, or
-Conscious
competence
Identifying
Communication Barriers
Drugs,
alcohol fear, financial strain,
personal experience/bias, rage, mental
illness………..to name just a few…
Examples of Barriers…
Barriers, cont'd
Communication Barriers
Barriers continued
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Barriers make
communication more
difficult-not impossible
We are the professional
We control the situation
Barriers-Weapons
Mental Health Issues
Mental Health cont'd
Know What You Can Do...(and do it!)
Other Barrierslanguage/cultural/religious
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All of these things create safety issues that the
professional must assess immediately.
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Know your limits
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Know when to call police, or at least other
office assistance
Non escalatory interaction is easier to deal with
than de-escalation
We all know what the “bad guy” looks
like…right?
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What do our Violent Offenders
look like?
Violent offenders continued
Violence continued
•
•
Where and When did the communication break down?
When did violence become the acceptable alternative to
communication?
WORD COMP
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ANTICIPATE VS EXPECT
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(L. anticipare) means to see beforehand and move to prevent
(L.expectare)means to wait for-suggesting greater rigidity of
response
Consider approaching three males on a corner-expecting the
one on the right to give you the most trouble-2 min later, the
one on the right is most troublesome-when you expect
trouble you generate it!
KNOW…your audience will reflect back to you what you put
out-three times in intensity (we all are generally able to
protect ourselves from the perceived threat-what about the
one we didn’t see coming?
GOOD NEWS!
•
NO ONE EXPECTS THE IMPOSSIBLE-USE YOUR BEST
CONCEALED WEAPON- YOUR BRAIN-AND RECOGNIZE.....
That the goal to professional intervention is to gain-
•
Voluntary compliance
•
THE CONTACT
PROFESSIONAL
CONTACT-IN LATIN TRANSLATES TO:
WITH SKILL
We all have weaknesses-do not react to
words, but respond to needs
Customer Service Reps (city employees) are
the ultimate in the contact professional-ongoing
training with the tools needed to do the job
effectively-verbal skills being the most
commonly used.
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Professionalism
We treat people like ladies and gentlemen not
necessarily because they are but because we areNorth Dakota Highway Patrol
Verbal judo
The art of generating voluntary compliance
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Officer (employee) safety
Enhanced professionalism
Fewer citizen complaints (P.A.C.E.)
Decreased vicarious liability
Lower stress on the job and at home
(L.E.A.P.S.)
Increased effectiveness in court
Improved morale-LOOKS GOOD, SOUNDS GOOD-FEELS GOOD
(less conflict between actions and moral values)
City Council Belief Statements:
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We believe everyone has the responsibility to make a
positive contribution to improve our community and
quality of life.
We believe that city government will at all times
provide excellent service.
We believe our decisions should encompass immediate
needs and a vision of the future.
We respect our employees and place a high value on the
contribution and accomplishments they provide to the
community. We will keep in mind
City Council Belief Statements
Continued
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The differences between department heads and elected
officials.
It is our intent to make objective decisions based on
understanding facts, trust, and community input.
We believe that it is essential for the city government to
provide information to the community in a timely
manner, which builds mutual trust and understanding.
We believe EVERYONE deserves respect and a safe
clean city.
ETHICS
The rules or standards governing the
conduct of a person or the members of
a profession.
CITY EMPLOYEE=PUBLIC TRUST
(SHOULD BE)
HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE WHO YOU
REPRESENT
GOAL OF PROFESSIONAL
INTERVENTION
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TO LOOK CREATIVELY AT CONFLICT
USE WORDS TO DEFLECT NEGATIVITY
-REDUCE ESCALATIONRECOGNIZE THE 5 CONDITIONS WHEN WORDS FAIL-S.A.F.E.R.
AVOID NATURAL LANGUAGE/PERSONAL FEELINGS
EMPLOY EMPAHTY,MAINTAIN SELF CONTROL, STAY IN
CONTACT WITH THE NEEDS OF THE DEPARTMENT &
YOUR AUDIENCE (THE PUBLIC)
PUT WORDS ON TARGET-KNOW HOW YOU ARE
PERCEIVED, YOUR DELIVERY STYLE, AND THE USE OF
PARAPHRASING
Words as a force option
98% of law enforcement encounters are
handled by professional presence/words
Showtime
If you can look fearless when scared-you
can look concerned when irritated!
Solution:
Take charge of those things in your personal
and professional lives that you can
control.
Things to be controlled on duty/at work:
Integrity, professionalism, and how well we
do the job we are assigned.
These things that law enforcement or other city employees deal with/or
DO NOT deal with, can create an environment full of PTSD-feeding
the pitbull
**Law Enforcement officers are rated #3 in suicides, but new statistics
are showing that our children are rising to the #1 position
Escalate/de-escalate
based on:
a. subject’s actions
b. Totality of circumstances
c. Perceived threat level
d. Reaction time (additional office
help, or police)
S.A.F.E.R.
 Security
 Attack
 Flight
 Excessive
repetition
 Revised priorities
-Dr. George J. Thompson
If the first two apply, it ain’t your fish to fry-call police-if
flight is the issue, let them go, the last two is where you
will spend most of your time.
Three options for all
 Fight
-continue arguing
 Flight
-just give up/leave
 Surrender-let YOU win
Fourth option Go with dignity WIN WIN WIN
Tactical 8-step
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Greeting
Identify self/department
Reason for stop (pause)
Justification for violation
Request for identification
Additional information
Decision
Close
SAME
SAME
How can I help
Ask for additional
Always Get this
Address/phone
SAME
SAME
Three types of people
102 different cultures in u.s.
1)
Nice
2)
Difficult
3)
Sneaky
(always agrees-non confrontational “just wanna get
along”/single keyed individuals-still marked by the erosion of trust for our
profession)
(always says no the first time you ask them to do
something, but somewhere around the 2, 3, or 4 time, when handled
properly, 9 out of 10 will comply-multi-keyed-always ask why)
(will act nice when you are standing there-wimps/wolves in
sheep’s clothing/single keyed individuals, surrounded by the cloud of
illusion)
Difficult people always want to know why where do you get your
authority-greed-”what’s in it for me”
TREAT ALL PEOPLE THE SAME-KNOWING THAT NICE IS NEVER A PROBLEM,
SNEAKY ARE ALWAYS A PROBLEM, AND DIFFICULT PEOPLE ARE THE
ONES THAT WE CONTACT THE MOST OFTEN-KNOWING THAT YOU
CONTACTED THEM IN PRECISE UNBIASED FASHION WILL MAKE CLAIMS
OF INAPPROPRIATENESS UNSUBSTANTIATED!!!
Dis-empower resistance
Insults strengthen
(your opponent)
Courtesy weakens
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Explaining why/what you’re doing increases safety and
sets a tone of respect
Allowing people to save face doubles safety directly and
collaterally
Remember-a skillful employee will overcome the
resistance of a difficult person 9 out of 10 times, after 3
or 4 attempts.
PLAYING THE ROLE
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Your voice (tone, pace, pitch, modulation) and
other non-verbal language (a.k.a. your “verbal
personality” or delivery style/body language) account
for 93 % of your impact on others (what
they hear from you-and how they will react)
The content of what you say (facts,reasons,evidence)
account for only 7% of your impact. lying loses
credibility
Most complaints are generated on a “tonal” basis-he/she
was rude to me-they didn’t listen-they didn’t take me
seriously-they treated me like I was stupid, etc
Performing art
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Not paid to express true feelings
we are paid to impact the community
positively
Our script is the law-local state and
federal, and the city council belief
statements-among others
“the dissatisfied customer” does not
dictate who you are to be, but may have
an impact on the role you need to play
When resistance increases, so does our
performance
What are you getting?
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Watch out for contradictions in the body language of
those you are speaking to. They indicate true intent.
KNOW the danger signs:
Backing or turning away
Looking around (escape or weapon)
Voice changes
Hiding hands
Do not lose focus after gaining initial
cooperation!
SAFETY FIRST!SAFETY FIRST!SAFETY FIRST!
New Five Step Hard Style
Ask
”could I ask you to….”
 Set context “Let me tell you why..”
 Present options “You have some good options”
 Confirm “Is there anything I can say..”
 Act
escalate or disengage
S.A.F.E.R.
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4 appeals
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Ethical
1st step
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(not useful unless calm)
Personal
Selfish interests; job money,time
3rd step
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….ask
Rational
2nd step
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professional presence
….set context
….present options
Practical
out of the box solutions
4th step
….confirm subject’s commitment to
current position
options
Offering choices is not a weakness-
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX SHOWS
FOCUSED ATTENTION ON INDIVIDUAL
ISSUES-generates a feeling of being
heard.
Be positive. Be specific.
You can be positive and specific with a smile
Helpful face/Helpful attitude/perceived as helpful
Key Words For Office Safety
If all employees were on the same
page with verbal cues, safety
increases because the consistent
verbal cues are recognized and can
be acted on prior to escalation!!
Examples
 “Is
there anything I can say
( a cue to imminent danger)
 Show
time
(proactive, ethical intervention)
Following the same script/on the same
page/creating level of understanding and
cooperation amongst co-workers…..
SHOWTIME
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PERSONAL SATISFACTION WHEN:
THE OFFICER PERFORMS (RE-sponds)
RATHER THAN RE-acts
 Makes the employee SAFER because it is not
personal Makes daily interaction with the public a challenge
that is positive rather than negative
 DOING THE RIGHT JOB THE RIGHT WAY
AND WINNING EVERY TIME!
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Ego
When ego goes up
power and safety go down
If it feels good-then it’s no
good!
Natural reaction=confrontation (disaster)
Studied response=cooperation
Verbal judo=increased safety
WORD COMPARISON
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ASSERTIVE (L.assertus) means to have a
positive influence upon
AGGRESSIVE (L.aggressus) means to attack,
to push one’s personality upon another
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Think of an officer entering your home aggressively,
ordering you to sit down (heard as rude) vs. an
officer being assertive in your home, “I know this is
your home, but for your safety and mine could I ask
you to have a seat so we can talk about what is going
on here?”
Natural language vs
Studied Responses
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Hey you, come here….
vs.
Can I chat with you?
 I’m not gonna tell you again
vs.
Let me tell you why its important……
 What’s your problem
vs.
How can I help?
WORD COMP.
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RE (L) means to come back to-to return
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Re-acting is allowing the action to control you
Re-spond (L respondere)-re-answer-suggests greater control
COMMUNITIES WANT RESPONSIVE VS REACTIVE
OFFICERS AND CITY EMPLOYEES ON THEIR
STREETS AND MANNING THE OFFICES-THEY
SHOW GREATER CONTROL!
Verbal Judo=Verbal Tactics
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Tactical communication
Skillful use of language to achieve professional objectives.
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Tactical empathy
projecting understanding to overcome adversarial resistance
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Tactical Civility
Portraying a concerned, respectful demeanor, regardless of
personal feelings, as a means of generating voluntary compliance
Verbal Judo=Verbal Tactics
Personal face
Professional
face
personal face
one up contest
personal face
win-win
Leave your ego at home-become who you need to be to get the job
done in a professional manner!
Street Truth
People never say what they mean
what they say:
EFF you! You can’t do that!
What they mean:
I’m scared. I’m embarrassed. I can’t think
straight.
Ex: You can’t shut my water off-I always pay my
bill=what will I tell my kids-how did I let this
happen-I feel like a bad parent
Trigger Guards
Identify your weaknesses, the things that make
you mad-triggers. Name them. Associate them
in your mind with something you can control,
laugh at, minimize.
By defining and recognizing your triggers, you can
effectively disarm them by building your own
trigger guard.
Trigger Guards
Just because you have one doesn’t mean the
trigger isn’t there-it is just made safe….stops
you from being manipulated by your own
weaknesses…
AUDIENCES
AUDIENCES ARE MADE, NOT FOUND
 PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY THAN
YOU
 THE SCENE DYNAMIC CHANGES AUTOMATICALLY
WHEN YOU ENTER THE SCENE-or they bring it to you
 THE AUDIENCE REFLECTS BACK TO YOU 3 TIMES THE
INTENSITY THAT YOU PROJECT
 REMEMBER THAT MOST PEOPLE WE DEAL WITH ARE
UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SOMETHINGRAGE, ALCOHOL, FINANCIAL PRESSURE, BIAS, FEAR,
FATIGUE
* Don’t use mimicry. It is simply insulting.
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How are you being
perceived…and
Would you want your family-parents,
wife/husband, children, friends, clergy,
media……..
……….to perceive you that way?
Remember the local video stud-they may
have a chance on you-tube
Allow attitude to drift-focus on
behavior
Say what you want
do what I say
I have the last act
I give you the last word
Re-spect
performed
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vs. respect
earned
A studied response (remaining calm, using
professional language) allows the officer to remain
tactical and gather information so that he/she can
be who they need to be to accomplish their goals.
When the goal of “winning” is eliminated the focus
is redirected to dealing with the underlying issues,
defusing anger, and creating workable solutions
that allow your opponent to “save face.”
Lack of RE-spect will cause those you just dissed
to want revenge-you do NOT have to feel respect,
but you have to SHOW RE-spect
Principals of Dis-interest
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Always keep your professional face
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Always treat others as you would want to be
treated, under identical circumstances
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Never inflate people with adrenaline or
righteousness
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Flexibility is strength/rigidity is weakness
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Redirect rather than resist
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Respond rather than react
DISINTEREST cont’d
Everyone believes they have good reason for
what they do
 People care about knowing why: therefore, set
context and explain why
 Bad words color good deeds negatively
SHOWTIME IS A GREAT REMINDER TO
GO BACK TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL
FACE IF YOU ARE BEING
MANIPULATED…..
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Dealing with anger
Feeling chronically angry, or impulsively overreacting on
a routine basis….talk to a counselor about what
might be fueling your inappropriate emotions.
 Leaving an angry situation….try to take an emotional
time-out, a brief break, before moving on to the
next encounter.
 Feel yourself getting angry during an encounter….ask
yourself if it’s appropriate to the “face” you needor if some street-wise subject is trying to
persuade you into losing control.
-Force Science Research Institute
**Verbal Judo is a tool to be used at home, at work, and
with the public-be aware of PTSD-or the puppy barking
inside-deal with the puppy instead of waiting for the BIG
DOG to come out!
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Autogenic(tactical)breathing
(BASED ON TECHNIQUES DEVELOPED BY CALIBRE PRESS AND GARY
KLUGIEWICZ)
*Three times:
* In through the nose for 4-count
* Hold for 4-count
* out through the lips for 4-count
* Hold for 4-count
* Attitude is contagious
* Panic is contagious
* calm is contagious
* Can “INFLICT” BREATHING ONTO OTHERS
WWW.KILLOGOY.ORG
COPYRIGHTED BY DAVE GROSSMAN-AUTHOR OF “ON KILLING”
Contagious Mindset
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Consider that your body language as you make
contact is the First Impression-cannot erase this!
Basic Concepts are simpleTreat others as you would want to be treated
if you were the victim/complainant/dissatisfied
customer- If you were a victim, how would you
want to be handled? Your wife? Your mother?
Your child?
Contagious cont’d
SMILEWhat do you have to smile about?
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1-you are alive
2-In a land of 8+% unemployment rate and growing-you have a job
3-You have a job where you have a chance everyday to make a
difference
4-You have a health plan!
5-You have a Defined Pension Benefit plan-less than 5% of the
private sector has a Defined Pension Benefit Plan
***Out of all these #3 is the best reason to smile
L.E.A.P.S.
TOOLS FOR GENERATING VOLUNTARY COMPLIANCE
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LISTEN-MORE IMPORTANT TO LOOK INTERSTED THAN BE
INTERESTED
EMPATHIZE-DON’T SYMPATHIZE-BUILD GROUND TO STAND ON
ASK-5 DIFFERENT TYPES OF QUESTIONS
PARAPHRASE-feed them back their own information
SUMMARIZE-CLEAR CONCISE AUTHORATATIVE
NON-SEQUENTIAL-ONGOING AND
CHANGING
-DR. GEORGE J. THOMPSON
LEAPS cont’d
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Listening-what we do as we wait for our turn to
interrupt/say our side, etc?
Listening should be open and unbiased-hear literally what they are
saying to you, interpret accurately what you heard, and then act
appropriately!
Most people (home or work) will tell you what
they need from you if you simply listen-DO
NOT use the listening phase to think of what
you are going to say next to counter….
Keep It Simple Stupid
•
You have one mouth and two ears
•
One you can shut
•
Two you cannot
•
Listening is the MOST important tool you can
use
THE SECOND MOST
IMPORTANT TOOL
EMPATHY
EMPATHY ABSORBS TENSION
WORD COMP
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SYMPATHY VS EMPATHY
(L. sympathia) means to share feelings with, to be in
accord with
 (L. EM) to see through
 (Gr. Pathy)
eye of the other
 To see through the eye of the other-to understand as
if you stood in the other’s shoes-even momentarily
 TACTICAL EMPATHY-HUGE SKILL
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Word Comp. cont’d
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IF WORDS MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE
IN TRAINING………………
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IMAGINE THE DIFFERENCE THEY
MAKE TO THE UNTRAINED PERSON WE
ARE RESPONDING TO
Paraphrasing
Correctly interpreting another’s meaning and
putting it into your own words.
Why it is important
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Clarifies intent, ensures understanding
People calm down after hearing their own words
Allows subject to save face-indicates fair play
Allows the professional to control interaction
Shows empathy
Allows the professional to interrupt without creating friction
P.A.C.E
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P-problem-problem as you see it, they see it
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A-Audience-what you project comes back times 3
C-Constraints-identify obstacles in effective communication with
your subject-you can step around, ignore or use to your
advantage
E-Ethical presence-what face do I need to wear so the subject
knows that I am here to help him/her
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Subjects should know that you are there to help, to
think for them (as they would 48-72 hrs later) to
solve the problem they are facing=
GREAT CONTACT
Deflectors
I ‘preciate that, but……..
(professional/objective)
 I unerstan’ that, however…………..
 I hear that, yet……..
Not all deflectors are peace phrases, but all peace
phrases are deflectors
Deflectors allow you to jump over the constraints
and move forward
Peace Phrases are simply appearing to ask for
cooperation rather than demand it
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Peace phrases
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I can appreciate that…..
Can you work with me, sir………
You don’t need this kind of trouble
For your safety and mine………..
What’s the matter……….
Someone gave you some bad info………(careful)
How can I help you………..
If you cooperate with me, it will be noted in my
report………
Sorry to hear that, sir………..
Can I chat with you for a moment?............
Why Peace Phrases?
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Makes you feel good-keeping your cool
Springboard-deflect over the insults, focus
on goal
Dis-empower your opponent
Sound good
Buy time –for answers from other
departments or for assistance to arriveCRISIS HOSTAGE NEGOTIATORS
WORLDWIDE SAY-TIME IS YOUR FRIEND
7 Things that Hurt Communication
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1-Come Here-puts power and control in the hands of
the other person-parent/child-can I talk with you a
minute-said in closer quarters and puts you in control
of the contact.
2-Calm Down-makes one want to defend their reaction
to you-like there is no legitimate reason to be upset.whats the matter immediately softens your opponentappears as if you care..
3-I am not telling you again…yes you are-probably
several times if they are a difficult person-so you lose
credibility and power-better might be-REMEMBER
9/10 TIMES AFTER 3-4 TIMES
“This is really important that you get this point, so
pay close attention to what I am about to tell
you….”
 4-Why can’t you be More Reasonable-totally
invalidates feelings and issue for subject-like
saying “you are stupid or you are wrong”-this
invites conflict- better option-”let me see if I
understand your position-and then paraphrase
back to the person.
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My All Time Personal Favorite-
7 THINGS cont’d
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BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE RULES or THAT’S
THE LAW
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If the rules are for good reason, or the lawexplain itRE-specting people is telling them why
Establishes ground to stand on -defines the limits of the issue
at hand-your authority-and gives ‘good reason’ top comply
Takes your EGO out of it-not just-because I said so
6-What’s your problem-definitely creates a you
vs me battle rather than an “us” discussion-for
most people the word problem indicates
weakness-and NOONE wants to reveal a
weakness-better choice-what’s the matter, How
can I help-I can see you are upsetGather intel from the contact-and always listen
nonjudgementally.
 7-What do you want me to do about this?
 Negates any responsibility-relays an I don’t care
attitude-FLIPPANT-FULL OF ATTITUDE
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IF you cannot help with the issue-direct them to
the office that can-if you do not know who to
send them to-convey that you wished you did,
and let them know that your desire would be to
assist themAt least perform like assisting them is the only
thing that will send you home from work happy
todayPLAY THE ROLE-WEAR THE FACE
NEEDED TO GET THE JOB DONE.
TALKING THE TALK
WALKING THE WALK
The challenge to be who we represent
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Superior Service Thinking for others as they would 48-72 hrs later
Proactive
Having a plan and knowing when to act
Innovative
The courage to support challenging tactics
Unbiased
Treating everyone with respect
Professionalism Doing the best job possible for ourselves, our families and
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Respect
Integrity
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Dedication
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those we serve
Earned on the job and in the house
Effective strategies for maintaining personal composure
and maximizing skills
The ability to deflect and counter negative energy and
focus on positive behavior
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Ethics
Actively engaged in upholding the public trust
Tip!!!
•
•
•
If you find yourself responding emotionally
to what someone is saying, respond with:
I may not be understanding you correctly,
and I find myself taking what you said
personally. I thought you just said_______,
is that what you meant?
Determine if the subject was personally attacking you, or what they
feel You (agency) has not done for them. If there is a conflict
personally-even if just perceived, allow another person if available to
help the subject with their problem.
Keep It Simple Stupid
•
You have one mouth and two ears
•
One you can shut
•
Two you cannot
•
Listening is the MOST important tool you can
use
FINAL THOUGHTS
•
•
•
•
•
You should always be honest-if possible
Do not patronize
Do not minimize
Know community resources in case you are not
the right stop for someone, you will know where
to direct them.
Make it appear that the resolve to their issue is
the most important thing for you to take care of
FINAL THOUGHTS
•
•
•
•
•
You have an audience
Even if they are not “there” they will tell
the story in their version like they were-be
aware of our local recording authorities
Removing someone from their audience
ALWAYS behooves us
It gives the subject less people to perform for
And gives you less people to perform for as well
FINAL THOUGHTS
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Leave People Better than you found them at
their worst

VERBAL JUDO IS A PERISHABLE
COMPLEX MOTOR SKILL-IT MUST BE
REINFORCED AND PRACTICED TO BE
MAINTAINED.