Children in
Stepfamilies
Johnna McMurry
What is a stepfamily?
• A STEPFAMILY IS: A
family in which one or
both of the adult
partners bring children
from a previous
relationship.
• Also can be called a
blended family.
The icon television stepfamily – The Brady Bunch
Stepfamily versus Blended Family
• Depending on the author, stepfamilies are
sometimes called Blended Families.
• Blended family is a more positive concept
that will have a positive tone instead of the
old myth, such as the evil stepmother.
History of Stepfamilies
According to Professor Lawrence Ganong of
the University of Missouri-Columbia, It is
estimated that there are the same number of
stepfamilies as 100 years ago but that the
reason has changed from death of a spouse
to divorce.
History of Stepfamilies
• The U.S. Census Bureau recently decided to
discontinue providing estimates of marriage,
divorce, and remarriage except those that are
available from the 1990 census.
• Stepfamilies are not addressed, assessed, and
counted which further leads to denial of the affect of
stepfamilies on our society.
According to the latest statistics…
• 1300 new stepfamilies
are formed everyday.
• 66% of those who
remarry breakup when
children are involved.
According to the latest statistics…
• It is estimated that 30% of all children are
likely to spend some time in a stepfamily.
• One of three Americans is now a stepparent,
a stepchild, a stepsibling, or some other
member of a stepfamily.
How this affects children
• According to our text, children of stepfamilies deal
with concerns about loss, loyalty, and lack of
control.
• Lack of control can impact adolescents by
increasing the risk of anger or depression stemming
from the inability to control their environment.
(Vernon, p.269)
Issues that stress stepchildren:
• Hearing their biological
parents argue and put
each other down
• Inability to see the
other parent
• Feeling caught in the
middle between the
biological parents
• Fighting within the
stepfamilies
• Adjusting to rules and
discipline set by the
stepparent.
Underlying issues in stepfamilies
• Loyalty, such as loving someone other than the
biological parent or feeling forced to choose sides
• Loss and grief from the divorce
• The ending of the fantasy that their biological
parents may remarry.
Underlying issues in stepfamilies
• Coping with issues that the new marriage has
created, such as changing schools, new
friends, new neighborhoods, increased
distance from a biological parent, and/or
economic status.
How to help stepfamilies
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Brief Therapy
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
Group Therapy
Individual Therapy
Brief Therapy
• A time-limited behavioral strategy that can be used
in a school or agency setting.
• Goal is behavioral change.
• Use an instrument like a target behavior form
• Counselor supports parental authority, parents
should use positive reinforcements that do not allow
child more freedom than appropriate.
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
• Goal is to promote secure emotional
connections between family members
• Develop an awareness of each family
member’s unique emotional experience
• Promotes a “safe environment” to express
feelings during the initial phase of therapy
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
• During the second phase of treatment, the
goal is to reframe the families problem as a
pattern.
• Therapist works to help the family understand
that secondary emotional responses such as
withdrawal or pursuit are related to underlying
issues of lack of attachment bonds.
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
• The final phase, is called the “workingthrough” phase. Families create new patterns
that are based on sharing and acceptance of
family members attachment needs.
Group Therapy
• Group Therapy is recommended for adolescence children
that are in step-families.
• Build opportunity to understand and accept their situation in
a supportive climate through such activities as role-play,
creative drama, and videotape.
• Goal is to finish “unfinished business” and to ensure
validation
Individual Therapy
• Goal is to help adolescent feel they have more control over
their environment, which reduces anger and resentment.
• Develop coping mechanisms to help child adjust to blended
family, while developing a sense of autonomy.
• Have an advocate that has no vested interest or baggage in
the stepfamily.
What can schools do to help?
• Be sensitive to issues such as parent/teacher
conferences, graduation, and other events.
• Be careful about assignments that deal with
drawing or talking about parents or family
• Include all parents in notices, gifts, and invitations
What can schools do to help?
• Revise forms to include two sets of parents
• In-service for teachers and staff on the
sensitivity of stepfamilies.
In Review
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Types of Therapy that may be beneficial is
Brief Therapy
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
Group Therapy
Individual Therapy
Resources
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http://www.stepfamilies.info/ - National Stepfamily Resource Center The National
Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) is a division of Auburn University’s Center
for Children, Youth, and Families (CCYF). Dr. Francesca Adler-Baeder, Director
of the Center for Children, Youth, and Families at Auburn, is the Stepfamily
Association of America’s (SAA) former Director of Family Life Education and
oversees the activities of the NSRC.
http://www.blendedfamily.org/frameset.htm – Blended Family.org This website
had some good information on how to handle situations that arise due to blended
family. It looks like this site is either new or technology is an issue for the author
of the website. I liked the information but could not find who produced this
website. I didn’t like the child custody advertisement at the top of the page, it
seemed inappropriate.
Resources
• http://www.blended-families.com/ - Blended Family.com This website
has a free newsletter with articles to help blended families but it is a
commercial website. It has seminars and materials to purchase also.
• http://www.parentingcenter.com/familysupport/stepfamilysupport.html
This website has several links to other websites that are helpful when
dealing with Stepfamilies. It is sponsored by the Parenting Center.com
• www.arkansas211.org - 2-1-1 is a free, easy-to-remember number that
connects residents with important community services and volunteer
opportunities. Individuals and families seeking social services can call 21-1, a nationally recognizable number that makes a critical connection
between callers and the appropriate community-based organizations and
government agencies, and get the help they need.
My Final Thoughts
• Step carefully into a stepfamily
• Work to understand everyone’s emotional
point of view
• As counselors, we should work harder to
make all family members feel included in their
children’s lives.
References
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Prosen, S., & Farmer, J. (1982). Understanding stepfamilies: Issues and implications for counselors. Personnel &
Guidance Journal, 60 (7), 393-397. Retrieved September 25, 2008, from PsycINFO database.
Mason, M.A.. (2008). Stepparents in the United States. In Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History and Society.
Retrieved September 23, 2008, from http://www.faqs.org/childhood/So-Th/Stepparents-in-the-UnitedStates.html.
Jones, J.. (February 18, 2004). MU Professors Examine Dynamics, History of Stepfamily Households. In Missouri.edu.
Retrieved September 20, 2008, from http://web.missouri.edu/~news/releases/stepfamilyrelationships.html.
Furrow, J., Palmer, G.. (November 4, 2007). EFFT and Blended Families: Building Bonds from the Inside Out. In Journal
of Systemic Therapies. Retrieved September 20, 2008, from
http://www.atypon-link.com/GPI/doi/pdf/10.1521/jsyt.2007.26.4.44?cookieSet=1.
Stewart, S.D.. (2007). Statistics on Unmarried, Cohabitating and Gay and Lesbian Stepfamilies.. In Stepfamily Foundation.
Retrieved September 20, 2008, from http://www.stepfamily.org/statistics.html.
Unknown. (2006-2008). Stepfamily Fact Sheet. In National Stepfamily Resource Center. Retrieved September 20,
2008, from http://www.stepfamilies.info/faqs/factsheet.php.
Vernon, A.. (2004). Counseling Children & Adolescents. Colorado: Love Publishing Company.