Training By:
TONY KUBICKI, LCSW, M.S.Ed.Psy.
Relationship Communication Center, Inc.
1025 S. Moorland Rd., Suite 403
Milwaukee, WI 53005
262.786.0411
Tony Kubicki is a psychotherapist and Clinical Director
of Relationship Communication Center, Inc.
Since 1985, he has worked extensively with students and
educational staff throughout Southeastern Wisconsin.
In his efforts to help people improve their relationships,
he has developed “Hitting Always Hurts” a program for
elementary school children, the “Relationship Abuse
Prevention Program” for high school students, the “Parent
Stress Reduction Toolbox” for parents, and “Workplace
Relationships that Works” for educators.
In 1999, Tony and his wife, Elaine Kubicki, published,
Isolation to Intimacy: A Guide to Get From Hurting to
Healing in Relationships. This manual is used in schools,
correctional settings, and in private practice with individuals,
couples, and families.
For information on available trainings, acquiring a manual,
or scheduling a private counseling session, call:
Tony or Elaine Kubicki
Relationship Communication Center, Inc.
1025 S. Moorland Rd., Suite 403
Brookfield, WI 53005
262.786.0411
“I learned many techniques for dealing with other people.”
Teacher from Northwest
Comments from Northwest Secondary School staff who,
(Link) after attending “Workplace Relationships That Work”
training have implemented the training’s 10 Tools to
improve their Workplace Relationships.
ABOUT THE SEMINAR
“I was glad that the training was
held before the school year began.
I enjoyed getting to know my new
co-workers before the year started.
I wish we had more time to continue
building relationships during the
school year.”
“This was extremely helpful for me.
I got a lot out of it and still use
these strategies and techniques to
this day!”
“I liked the moderators presentation
style—friendly with a sense of humor.
For me, acting out scenarios works. It
gives me examples of how I can handle
situations as they occur.”
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TFB RESPONSIBILITY
FIRING THOUGHTS
KEEP BREATHING!
HIRING ENEMIES?
98% RULE
OK SWITCH
TAKE ‘EM TO THE ER
LEARNING TO LISTEN
PRESENCE OF MIND
CARE-FRONTATION
Tony Kubicki
Relationship Communication Center, Inc.
262.786.0411
TFB RESPONSIBILITY
TOOL #1
“I enjoyed your presentation. It was
thought provoking. As a counselor
so much of it resounded with me.
I try to teach our students that they
are responsible for their own
behaviors—I will use the TFB
illustration to help with this.”
FIRING THOUGHTS
TOOL #2
“I was very stressed and found myself
being very controlling of my students.
Suddenly, I decided to
“Fire My Thoughts” and had a
refreshed, non-controlling manner.
It made a difference in my instruction
and my students’ behavior.”
“I liked the seminar, it helps me think
before I react and keep a positive spin
in the environment.”
KEEP BREATHING
TOOL #3
“This is a tool I have used often
during the school year. At times
when I am under stress because of
deadlines that I have to meet, I use
this Breathing technique to get
more relaxed.”
“I liked when we learned about
Breathing techniques and ways to
reduce stress.”
KEEP BREATHING
TOOL #3
“Since I have a terrible habit of
speaking from emotion, learning to
Breathe has kept me from saying
things I later regret. With much
practice, I have been able to get to
the point where I usually take some
time to Breathe before I react to any
situation.”
HIRING ENEMIES
TOOL #4
“I had a problem with a parent. We
disagreed about something. I decided
that I wasn’t going to Hire her as an
Enemy. I was going to try and work
with her which I did. She hired me
as an enemy though.”
98% RULE
TOOL #5
“I have used this most frequently to
let students have an opportunity to
vent without taking it personally.
I have also used this in everyday
relationships to help defuse someone
who is feeling attacked.”
98% RULE
TOOL #5
“Someone gasped in shock under
their breath when they discovered
I didn’t know something they
assumed I should know. I simply
didn’t let it bother me, because I
decided this person has other
issues to worry about.”
OK SWITCH
TOOL #6
“When a conflict arose, I didn’t pay
any attention to it. I just kept records
and let it roll off my back. I stayed at
peace with myself even when I felt
things were not being done fairly.”
TAKE’ EM TO THE ER
TOOL #7
ER= Emotional Reversal
“Instead of trying to put ‘difficult
people’ in their place, I attempt to
put myself in their place. I keep
trying to implement ER!”
TAKE’ EM TO THE ER
TOOL #7
“I received a Feedback report done on one
of my class blocks. Some of the comments
were good and some were not so good.
Although I know
I can always improve, some of the not so
good comments I know were exaggerated
somewhat. I was going to give the
individual observer a piece of my mind,
but I Took Them
to the ER and I didn’t Hire them.
It’s great!”
LEARNING TO LISTEN
TOOL #8
“I spent more time Listening this
school year. I tried to hear where the
other person (staff) was coming
from; to see if we are on the same
page; to ask for clarification if
needed. This has helped my
interactions/communication with
individuals that I work closely with.
We are much more unified.”
LEARNING TO LISTEN
TOOL #8
“I used the Learning to Listen tool
and it was very helpful and beneficial
towards improving my relationships.
I used this many times and it really
helped to open up communication
between us.”
PRESENCE OF MIND
TOOL #9
“I have gotten into the habit of trying
to predict future behavior of
chronically disruptive students.
Instead, I keep the slate clean and let
them know at the beginning of class
that ‘I hope they do well today.’
Sometimes students come with this
attitude as well.”
PRESENCE OF MIND
TOOL #9
“Making sure that I have my personal
emotions in check is the key for me.
Because the kids come to school with
tons of bottled-up emotions and are
ready to explode on anyone that they
may come in contact with. I have to
be Presence to my own need to keep
my feelings in check so I can be
ready to help control theirs and
prevent a battle zone.”
CARE-FRONTATION
TOOL #10
“I always let my students know
that we are in this together. It’s
our classroom and our learning
environment. It makes them feel
like we are a team. I also always
use ‘How can I help?’ daily
because it’s important for the
students to know that I am there
to help.”
CARE-FRONTATION &
OK Switch
TOOL #6 and #10
“In my most difficult class, I have a
student who is prone to vulgar outbursts.
Generally, they are not directed towards
me. This one day in particular, she became
upset with me because I could not help her
immediately. She began her outburst. I
used my OK Switch to know that what she
was saying was not about me, but just her
own frustration. Later the next day, I used
Care-Frontation to talk with her about the
situation. We decided together that we
were in this together and there had to be a
better way.”