Chapter 6
Parenting
Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse
Chapter Objectives
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Explain the role parent-child bonding plays in
preventing problem behaviors and future
alcohol/drug problems.
Define the diagnostic criteria of abandonment
depression.
Describe the child temperaments that may
contribute or make the child at-risk for
substance abuse.
Explain “quality” of parent-child relationship
and its impact on substance use and abuse.
Chapter Objectives
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Define shame and describe the domains of
shame and the common affect-shame binds.
Describe rejection sensitivity, difficulty
making decisions, and poor frustration
tolerance.
Classify behaviors that indicate parental
imbalance.
Define and describe boundaries and
boundary inadequacy.
Chapter Objectives
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Describe triangulation in the family.
Describe the impact of parental use or abuse
of alcohol/drugs on the child’s future use or
abuse.
Describe the imbalanced life cycles of
families.
Parent-Child Bonding

Abandonment Depression
– An affective disorder with six key
elements:
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Homicidal rage
Suicidal depression
Panic
Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness
Emptiness and void
Guilt
– Impact of early abandonment on adult
interpersonal relationships
Parent-Child Bonding

Child’s Temperament
– Evidence that extremes in certain temperament
traits, such as high activity level, emotionality,
attention span, and sociability are associated
with children of alcoholics.
– Aspects of temperament may predict the
behavior problems and substance abuse
problems that frequently arise during
adolescence.
Parenting Styles That Shame Children

Shame
– The self looking at itself, and finding it lacking,
flawed, inadequate.
– Is like a flash flood of emotion that wipes out
the interpersonal connection with people

Differences between a shame-based
system and balanced system
– Shame-based
• No hope, inescapable, and exterior-based
– Balanced system
• Hope-choice, can make amends, internally based
Parents’ Shame

Parents who have not done a good job of
parenting may experience shame.
Shame and Feelings
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Shame is a very powerful feeling, and
when it is attached to other feelings, they
are escalated:
– Anger plus shame equals rage

Adolescent sexual identity and shame
 Sexual violation and shame
 Drug, sex, and shame
Characteristics of Shame and Abandonment
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Rejection sensitivity
 Fear and difficulty making decisions
 Poor frustration tolerance
 Other reactions and defenses
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Overly defensive
Extremely critical or judgemental
Rage or distorted thinking
Masking true feelings and emotions
Parental Imbalance and Boundary Setting
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Clear boundaries
– Allow mutual respect and concern
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Enmeshed boundaries
– Are inflexible, are unyielding, and leave no
room for differences

Disengaged boundaries
– Are overly rigid, with little or no opportunity for
communication
Boundary Inadequacy

Ambiguous boundary inadequacy
– A pattern of double messages

Overly rigid boundary inadequacy
– Smooth and efficient functioning is a priority
over being responsive and adaptable
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Invasive boundary inadequacy
– An imbalance of power is used to objectify
people
Boundary Ambiguity

Stage 1 – Clustering
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Stage 2 – Conflict
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Stage 3 – Individuation
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Stage 4 - Connection
Triangulation

Triangulation is at least two adults
involved in an off-spring’s problem, where
the parent-child dyad is pitted against a
more peripheral parent, stepparent,
grandparent, parent’s lover, or another
relative.
Triangulation
Imbalanced Life Cycles of Families
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Relationships between families and the
joining of families
Family and the young child
Family and the adolescent
Launching of children
Later life
Fathers of Alcoholics/Addicts
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Dealing with resistance
– Reassure the father that he is important
– Point out that changes depend on his action
– Make the father aware that he has the power to
sabotage treatment
– Note that the father has choices
– Place responsibility for change squarely on
father’s shoulders
– Get the father to consider realigning his
priorities