Chapter 6
Parenting
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Impact on
Alcohol/Drug Use and
Abuse
Parent-Child Bonding


Primary relationship that greatly influences
behavior
Poor bonding impacts:
–
–
–
–
–
Development
Self-concept
Social and interpersonal relationships
Achievement
Identity
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Hypothesis regarding adolescent
abuse
 Overinvolvement
 Functional
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hypothesis
hypothesis
Overinvolvement Hypothesis
The overinvolvement hypothesis is that one
parent (frequently the mother) is overly
involved in the adolescent’s life to compensate
for the lack of availability by the other parent.
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Functional Hypothesis
The functional hypothesis is that the
adolescent’s substance abuse distracts the
family from focusing on other familial problems,
such as marital discord, infidelity, and parental
abuse of alcohol/drugs.
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Abandonment Depression
An affective disorder with six key elements:
1. Rage [Homicidal]
2. Suicidal depression
3. Panic
4. Feeling of hopelessness and helplessness
5. Emptiness and void
6. Guilt
(Source: Masterson, James. “Psychotherapy of the Borderline Adult –
A Developmental Approach”, 1976)
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Characteristics of Shameful
Experiences
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Unexpected exposure; being judged on a
vulnerable aspect of oneself
Feeling as if there is a loss of choice
Feeling out of place, flawed, defective, or
inadequate
A threat to the core of one’s identity
Mistrust in ability to perceive things properly;
unsure of self in making decisions or relating to
people
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Characteristics (continued)
6.
7.
8.
Trust of self and others is jeopardized; boundaries
are distorted; and physical, emotional, and/or
sexual violations may occur
Difficulty in assessing what is reality
Feeling helpless, powerless, and trapped, with no
way out (Fossum and Mason 1986)
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SHAME
Definition: Self looking in on self, finding the self
lacking. Feeling exposed “see” in some public way and
wanting to cover – feeling hunted.
Shame Based System
1. No Hope
2. Inescapable
3. Exterior based
Feedback Based System
1. Hope – choice
2. Can make amends
3. Will feel better later
(Source: Facing Shame: Families in Recovery, Fossum and Mason)
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Affect / Shame Binds
anger + shame = rage
anxiety + shame = panic
fear + shame = terror
sadness + shame = depression
depression + shame = despair
despair + shame = suicidal thoughts
suicidal thoughts + shame = suicide attempt
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Affect / Shame Binds cont’d
hurt + shame = pain
pain + shame = trauma (deep or chronic pain)
trauma + shame = phobia
phobia + shame = loss of reality
unavailability + shame = lack of trust of others
lack of trust of others + shame = paranoia
paranoia + shame = loss of reality
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Obstacles to Reaching Parents &
Family
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Denial
Skepticism – Incongruence
Assumption that things will be
OK
Distorted, depressed view of
life
Fear of being labeled
Fear of loss of confidentiality
Narcissism of parents
Lack of energy/time of
parents
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
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Lack of credible messages –
cultural/racial
Lack of concern/respect for
experts
Lack of awareness of
community resources
Need for services for basic
survival
Cultural mores
Distrust of the system
Other Obstacles to Reaching
Parents & Family

Rejection Sensitivity
–


Procrastination, rumination – motivation & change
Despair
–



Can’t avoid failure/rejection – it is “how long” does it take to
recover from defeat
“Universal and permanent causes for misfortune”
Lack of hope – depression
Shame versus pride
Recognition that alcoholism and drug addiction are
family diseases
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A Balanced or Healthy Family
System (Fossum & Mason) Includes
 Hope
 Choice
 Ability
to make amends
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Characteristics of Parental
Imbalance (Kempher)
 Increased
alcohol, drug and/or
nicotine dependence
 Increased marital conflict
 Increased parental absenteeism
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Compassion


Definition: recognizing and being sensitive to others
suffering as well as one’s own suffering
Can counteract shame
A noble ascription (the common good not just about me)
is: We are all in this together.
The most resistant people in families to get to counseling
are……fathers.
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