COMM 3110: Communication & Sex in Interpersonal Relationships Ascan Koerner Fall 2009 Two Academic Traditions • Humanism ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Multiple Realities Free Will Emancipation Rules for Interpretation ▫ Qualitative Research • Social Science ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Objective Truth Determinism Objectivity Covering Laws Quantitative Research Comparing Scientific and Humanist Standards Humanism Science • • • • • • • • • • Understanding Clarification of Values Aesthetic Appeal Community of Agreement Reform of Society Explanation Prediction Parsimony Falsifiability Utility Qualitative -more interpretive Ethnography Textual Analysis Survey Experiments Quantitative - more objective Defining Interpersonal Communication (IPC) Interpersonal Communication is any interaction between two or more persons who exchange information, create meaning, and influence each other and who through this process create social reality for themselves and others and create and maintain relationships with each other. Functions of IPC • • • • • Exchange information Create meaning Influence Create social reality Create & maintain relationships Interpersonal Communication Goals 1) Self-Relevant Goals - defining self & creating social reality for it - meeting intra-personal needs (i.e., Maslow) 2) Relational Goals -relationship development, maintenance, & termination - meeting inter-personal needs (e.g,. Schutz) 3) Instrumental Goals - exchange and distribute resources Associations between Goals • Independent ▫ Achieving one goal unrelated to achieving other goals • Compatible ▫ Achieving one goal aids in achieving other goals • Incompatible ▫ Achieving one goal blocks achieving other goals Issues complicating Communication • Persons pursuing multiple goals ▫ Goals might be incompatible ▫ It is unclear which goals are pursued • Meaning of communication ambiguous! ▫ Meaning is subjective (i.e., multiple meanings) ▫ Meaning is negotiated between parties ▫ Meaning is context dependent Social, cultural, situational….. ▫ Meaning operates at multiple levels Content level: what message is ostensibly about Relational level: what message says about partners Cultural Beliefs about Sex • • • • • Morality Health Individual Growth Relationship Gender & Gender relations Meaning of Sex • Defines Identity for self and other ▫ Sexuality ▫ Social status / self-worth ▫ Ability to express passion, affection, caring • Defines relationship ▫ Nature of affiliation ▫ Expectations for future interaction Exercise: Discuss meaning for self/other/relationship of: • • • • • Requesting sexual intimacy Requesting partner use condom Using condom yourself Telling partner to stop a sexual behavior Requesting oral or anal sex Communicating about Sex difficult because: • Multiple Goals • Multiple Meanings • Large influence of context that is sex-negative Hooking Up • Sexual encounters, usually lasting only one night, between persons who are strangers or acquaintances, typically involving sexual behavior which may or may not include sexual intercourse. From “calling” to “hookup” • Different social scripts ▫ Calling: mother & daughter controlled access of “gentleman caller” ▫ Dating (pre WW II): for social status, competition for high ranking dates, low commitment ▫ Dating (post (WW II): going steady as preparation for marriage ▫ Hooking up: sexuality without commitment Factors contributing to hookup culture • Postponement of marriage (20/23 vs. 25/27) • Large proportion of youth spends early adulthood on campus • Increased number of female students • Focus on group activities • Sexual revolution (24/51/72; 3/17/33) • Feminism / Women’s rights Theoretical Assumptions • Culture directs (not reflects) human behavior • Humans enact social roles ▫ E.g., man, woman, college student • Actors follow scripts ▫ E.g., dating and hookup scripts The social script • A series of if-then contingencies whose meaning exist in a shared social reality ▫ Shared understanding of social roles of actors ▫ Shared understanding of social situation • As always, shared social reality is defined, and may be redefined, thru communication The hookup script 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Identifying hookup partner Ascertain mutuality Deciding on a location Deciding on extend of sexual behavior Continuing the relationship after hookup 1. Identifying a hookup partner • Spontaneous attraction • OR interest already established • Factors contributing to attraction: ▫ Physical appearance ▫ Social attractiveness (status, behavior, network) ▫ Personality (extroversion, intelligences, etc.) • Gender differences? 2. Ascertaining mutuality • Following hookup script • Nonverbal communication ▫ Eye-contact, facial expressions ▫ Attention paid ▫ Body posture (turn, lean, arms, etc.) • Verbal communication ▫ Small talk ▫ Turn talking 3. Deciding on location • Type of desired behavior and privacy of current/potential space • Pragmatic considerations ▫ Roommates, distance, safety • Expectations of future interactions 4. Deciding on extend of sexual behavior • Personal norms & morals • Perceived peer behavior/norms • Expectation of future interaction ▫ If no future interaction: Go farther More sexual exploration ▫ If future interaction: Don’t go as far Less sexual exploration 5. Continuing the relationship after hookup • Hookup itself does not imply future relationship ▫ No change in relationship most likely outcome ▫ Hookup does not imply/create commitment • Future relationship is possible, however ▫ Continue as friends/acquaintances ▫ Continue as non-committed, sexual relationship: “repeat hookups, talking, hanging out” ▫ Develop into exclusive romantic relationships, with committment Hookup Scene I • Psychological Factors favoring hookups ▫ Emerging adulthood adult freedom w/o adult responsibilities ▫ Less interest in committed relationship Marriage not until after college College time of self discovery & experimentation ▫ Desire to fit in Sensitivity to perceived norms Freshmen most likely to participate in hookups Hookup Scene II • External Factors favoring hookups ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Homogeneous population (class, age, race, etc.) Familiarity with others (acquaintances & friends) Physical proximity (Perceived) Gender imbalance Hookup Scene III • Hooking up part of mainstream college culture ▫ The more central to college life one’s group, the greater one’s participation ▫ Athletes & fraternity/sorority members • Not participating: ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Racial Minorities (foreign students?) Gays / Lesbians Religious students Students in committed relationships The role of alcohol • Central part of student social scene, parties are organized around it. • Facilitates initiation of interaction (social lubricant) • Lowers inhibitions and thus facilitates sexual behavior/experimentation • Provides socially acceptable excuse for “improper” behavior Paper Assignment # 1 In a 3-5 page paper, please discuss aspects of the hook up culture that Bogle describes that are consistent with your experience at the U, as well as aspects that differ from your experience, and offer an explanation for why they are different. Try to focus on 2-3 aspects and make your comparisons cogent. Aspects you may discuss include, but are not limited to: who is hooking up, outcomes, scripts, definitions, standards, etc. Make coherent arguments and include specific references to the text and class lecture material. Papers should be in APA format, double-spaced, with 1 inch margins and 12 point font. Papers are due at the beginning of class, October 6th. Campus as sexual arena • Information about peer culture (rules & norms) ▫ Thru mass media, popular culture ▫ Thru observation of college life • Perceived Culture is used: ▫ as guide for own behavior ▫ to predict behavior of others ▫ to judge self and others Self-serving biases Fundamental attribution error Third person effect Common perceptions • Gender differences in sexual activity ▫ Men have more sex with more partners ▫ Women have less sex with fewer partners • Gender differences in sexual motivation ▫ Men desire sex more ▫ Women desire relationships more ▫ Ergo: women are more selective re. hookup partner ▫ Ergo: women are more emotionally involved Common Misperceptions • Virginity is rare ▫ actually, 25-39 % of students are virgins • Everyone participates in hookup culture ▫ although 80% of students had at least one hookup, only 1/3 involve sexual intercourse • Number of hookup partners is large ▫ UA study, of sexually active students, 90% had 2 or fewer partners, only 2% had more than 5 • Result: Pluralistic Ignorance The big math problem • US data (heterosexuals) ▫ Men during lifetime have 7 sex partners ▫ Women during lifetime have 4 sex partners • UK data (heterosexuals) ▫ Men 12.7 ▫ Women 6.5 • Obviously, this is not possible ▫ Survey data cannot be valid, but ▫ Survey data reflects persistent beliefs Sexual Double Standard I • “Good Girl” vs. “Bad Girl” perception of women ▫ aka “Madonna-whore complex” in which sexuality is perceived to incompatible with love • Divergent Interests ▫ Women increasingly interested in commitment ▫ Men maintain low interest in commitment • College becomes “battle of sexes” Sexual Double Standard II • No (few?) rules regulating male sexuality ▫ promiscuousness valued • Many rules restrict female sexuality ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ promiscuousness Sexually provocative dress and/or behavior Sexual relations with men who know one another ?? “houserats” • Violations are sanctioned ▫ Bad reputation (e.g., “slut”) ▫ Stigmatization and ostracization Sexual Double Standard III • Strategies to deal with SDS ▫ Repeat hookup ▫ Friends with benefits ▫ Booty call • All put sex in context of ongoing relationships, which is a ore permissible expression of female sexuality Sexual Double Standard IV • Manifestations of male power ▫ Perpetuation of hookup system even though it does not meet women’s needs ▫ Men determine level of relationship involvement & commitment • This analysis is based on: ▫ Assumption of male power (patriarchy) Group Assignment • Does the sexual double standard work in men’s best interest? • What are men’s motivation (i.e., is it in their interest to be in non-committed relationships so that they can pursue other hookup partners)? • Why are women perpetuating the SDS? • What are alternative explanations of the SDS? Life after College • “Return” to Dating ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Man initiates & pays for dinner/movie Dyad focused activity at public place Male chivalry Sexual behavior delayed (until “right time”) • However ▫ Sexual intercourse eventually normative ▫ Groups & alcohol still center of social life, not dating Reasons for demise of hookups • Less homogeneous population (strangers) • Logistics ▫ Driving increases riskiness and lowers alcohol use ▫ Greater distance between homes • Adult responsibilities ▫ Limits amount of partying ▫ Lack of sleep & need to get up early ▫ Focus on social relations that aid careers • Focus on finding long term partner Double Standard remains • Women still judged on sexual behavior • Sexual behavior disqualifies women as long term partner • Consequently, both men and women become more conservative sexually Conclusion • Hookup Culture result of ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Campus environment Changing social norms regarding sexual behavior Decoupling of sex and love Group & alcohol centered social life Delayed Adulthood Male dominance Criticism of Bogle • Oversimplification of Gender ▫ Sexual interest ▫ Relationship interest • Reification of Pluralistic Ignorance ▫ Reliance on informants ▫ Uncritical stance toward informants Gender Differences • Limited to relatively few behaviors • Variance within larger than variance between ♂ ♀ The other side of Hookup Culture • Male Losers ▫ Less socially skillful ▫ Low status ▫ Men interested in relationships • Sexual Enjoyment • Relationship Intimacy Jessica Valenti – feministing.com • Purity Myth: morals are linked purely to sexual behavior, rather than values like honesty, kindness, and altruism • In 2007, nearly 1,000 news and magazine articles referred to the "girls gone wild" or "raunch culture" phenomenon ▫ message: the only kind of sex young women can have is dangerous, drunk sex that leaves them disheveled and traumatized • Fear is coercion to return to traditional gender roles Discussion Questions • What was the point of Valenti’s message? Do you agree/disagree with it? Why/why not? • Shaida says, “’women who dance on tables, take a man home on their own terms and carry themselves – at a bar and in the classroom – with a sense of self-worth have my respect.’” Is it possible for a woman to take a man home on her own terms and carrying herself with a sense of self-respect possible? Cite and apply reasons for why women and men engage in the hook-up culture (according to Bogle and based on your own interpretation). • “Young women could see their way out of the hookup habit if given the space and support to do so” (p. 170). If women are not benefitting from a hook-up culture, why don’t they revolt and get out of it? The Vagina Monologues • In 1996, Ensler interviewed over 200 women about their experiences with sex, relationships, and violence against women ▫ put their stories into the production The Vagina Monologues. • Monologues include references to women’s issues like menstruation, feminine products, rape camps, traumatic sexual experiences in childhood, prostitutes who make women happy, and birth • 2009: over 4,200 V-Day events around the world Eve Ensler Creator of The Vagina Monologues Discussion Questions • Do productions like The Vagina Monologues empower women to be more open about sexuality? Why/why not? • Do women talk about feminism and issues about sexuality differently with men than with women? If so, in what ways? Islam: A brief Primer • Monotheism ▫ Same God as Jews and Christians • Muhammad is last (authoritative) prophet • Afterlife ▫ Conduct on earth determines eternal life ▫ Free will and reason test belief ▫ Adherence to Islamic law (sharia) essential Islam: How to behave • All behavior falls into 1 of 7 category 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. • Obligatory (wajib) Recommended (mustahab) Allowed (halal) Unimportant (mubah) Disapproved but lawful (makruh) Dubious (mushbooh) Forbidden (haram) A balanced life is essential Islam and sexual behavior • Sexuality important part of human existence • Sexuality must be conducted according to sharia • Sex only permissible in marriage or other sanctioned relationship • All other sex prohibited, including adultery, homosexuality, prostitution, masturbation, bestiality, etc. • Applies to both sexes Muslims in Thailand • Ethnic & religious minority (5-6%) from southern provinces usually speaking Malay • Easily identified through language & dress • Sexually more restricted than rather open Thai culture, esp. in regard to transexuality • Muslim migrants congregate in specific neighborhood in Bangkok, the study site Thai Muslims vs. US college students • Important similarities? • Important Differences? • In light of above, what sexual behaviors would you predict? Social Identity Theory • Identity is significantly determined by group membership • Persons consistently compare their groups to other groups • Persons seek positive distinctiveness of own group • Persons adhere to group norms and publicly exhibit signs of group membership • Identification range: ▫ internalization – conformity – rejection Sexual Culture of Young Thais • Two basic groups ▫ Religious & studious (sexually conservative) ▫ Heart breakers (sexually permissive) • Heterosexual relationships ▫ Kik (primarily friends, some sexual behaviors) ▫ Dating (some sexual behavior, not necessarily intercourse) ▫ Pre-marital relationships (including intercourse) ▫ Temporary marriage (intercourse implied) Gender Differences • Males ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Strong sexual urges assumed Masturbation frequent means to manage urges Initiation in brothels common Fast used to control urges • Females ▫ Sexual urges assumed to be weak ▫ Virginity and modesty valued ▫ Romance and emotion involved in relationship Sexual Beliefs and Health • Sex normal expression of male health • Sex normal expression of female love • Contraception (esp. condoms) morally suspect ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Not used in romantic relationships High risk for STD/STI High risk of pregnancy High rate of abortions The Theory of Evolution Life evolves through the dual process of random mutation and selection, such that those changes that increase a gene’s (i.e., usually its carrier) reproductive success are passed on to future generations and spread through the gene pool, whereas changes that decrease a gene’s (i.e., usually its carrier) reproductive success are not passed on and disappear from the gene pool. Theory of Evolution (Darwin) • Variation (random change of traits) • Inheritance (passing on of traits to offspring) • Selection (of advantageous traits) - Survival (of the fittest) - Reproduction (sexual selection) Inclusive Fitness (Hamilton) • Evolution understood from the gene’s perspective(I.e., Selfish Gene) ▫ Essentially, genes evolve ▫ Solves “problem” of altruism and similar unfit behaviors of organisms Evolved Psychological Mechanisms • Assumption: Brain is modular with highly specialized circuitry • EPMs solve specific recurring problems of survival or reproduction • EPMs take in limited information • EPMs use decision rules to obtain output • output can be psychological, physiological, or behavioral Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness (EEA) • Those factors that determine fitness and selection of an adaptation • Factors might be environmental OR social • Many of the social factors might not be temporally stable Human Ancestors’ EEA • • • • Small groups (families?) of hunter gatherers Hierarchically organized Warfare among groups Trading among groups Recurring Problems • Manage in-group (familial) relationships ▫ coalitions, loyalty, trust, affection • Manage power relationships ▫ Power sources, coercion, influence, obedience • Conduct warfare ▫ Aggression, bravery, peacemaking • Conduct trade ▫ Valuations, bargaining, trust Sexually intimate relationships • Most significant adult relationship for most people (90% +) • Conflict, including discord & dissolution, are normal • Love and emotions are central ▫ Affection, lust, joy, etc. ▫ Anger, hurt, jealousy, etc. Sexual Selection • Intra-sex competition ▫ Members of the same sex compete over access to mates of opposite sex ▫ Individual “fitness” determines success • Inter-sex selection ▫ Members of opposite sex choose and get chosen mate from opposite sex ▫ Displaying preferred characteristics determine success ▫ This process can also be adversarial, however Sexual Strategies • Evolved Psychological Mechanisms for mating • Employed outside of awareness • Are probabilistic Recurring Problems • • • • Mate Selection Attracting Mate Keeping Mate Replacing Mate Culture and Context • EPMs and C&C interact • C&C provide input for EPMs • C&C constrain behavioral options Barriers to Understanding • • • • • • • Perception: evolution too long a time frame Ideology: past abuse of evolutionary theory Naturalistic fallacy: existence implies morality Antinaturalistic fallacy: “harmony with nature” Misconception of biological determinism Feminism: ET implies gender inequality Idealism: romantic view of love Sexual reproduction in humans • Long pregnancy and childhood require long term commitment of both parents • Hidden ovulation ▫ Uncertain paternity ▫ Makes controlling access to female reproductive resources difficult • Conditions favorable for long term committed relationships Sex differences in reproduction = differences in sexual strategies • Men = unlimited reproductive resources: ▫ Many gametes (~ 6 trillion in lifetime) ▫ Long reproductive life (60+ years) ▫ Low risks and costs of intercourse • Women= limited reproductive resources: ▫ Few gametes (~ 400 in lifetime) ▫ Shorter reproductive life (~30 years) ▫ Pregnancy (and intercourse) risky (high mortality) and costly (gestation & lactation, mating opportunities) Mate preferences • Attributes one finds desirable (attractive) in a mate • Preferences are based on EPMs for attributes that facilitate reproductive success • Because many attributes (and EPMs) contribute to reproductive success, outcomes of EPMs need to be integrated (i.e., weighted) • Integration by additional EPM or build into EPMs for individual attributes Women’s Preferences • Resources ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Economic Capacity Social Status Age Ambition & Industriousness Dependability & Stability Intelligence Compatibility Size, Strength & Health Love & Commitment Alternative Explanation • Structural Powerlessness of women ▫ Women universally desire men with resources because they are universally less powerful • Evidence Against ▫ In societies with economically powerful women, similar mate preferences remain ▫ In U.S., high earning women desire even higher earning men Paper Assignment # 2 In a 3-5 page paper, please describe a situation in which you experienced conflict with a partner in a romantic relationship that can be explained by Evolutionary Theory. Specifically, show how the conflict is the result of each partner pursuing a mating strategy that is incompatible with the partner’s goals. Make coherent arguments and include specific references to the text and class lecture material. Papers should be in APA format, double-spaced, with 1 inch margins and 12 point font. Papers are due at the beginning of class, November 10th. Men’s mate preferences • Reproductive challenges ▫ Select fertile mate ▫ Assure paternity • EPM to solve these problems Determining fertility • Attraction to physical features associated with fertility ▫ Youthfulness in appearance & behavior ▫ Symmetry: disease and parasite free ▫ Body shape: waist to hip ratio <0.70 Evidence for mate preferences • Preferences for facial features already present in infants • Physical appearance much more important for men than women • High mate value men select young & beautiful mates • Mate preferences of homosexuals mirror those of heterosexuals Determining paternity • Chastity ▫ Female virginity important to men • Fidelity ▫ Faithfulness most attractive to men ▫ Unfaithfulness most unattractive to men ▫ Promiscuity is very unattractive also Game theory • Achieving individuals’ goals requires cooperation • In cooperative setting, individuals that cheat (obtain greater rewards with less costs than others) will gain advantage ▫ Individuals develop cheating strategies ▫ Individuals develop strategies for discovery and punishment of cheaters ▫ Systems reach some state of equilibrium Group discussion • Identify situations in which men & women “cheat” on their long term mates • What strategies exist for cheating? • What strategies exists for cheating detection and sanctioning? Casual Sex • Sex outside committed relationship • Relatively large size of male testes testament to sperm competition, that is, females that mate with more than one partner • Rates of insemination also indicative of sperm competition Questions • Are there sex differences regarding casual sex observable today? • What are the most important ones? • How can we explain them? Sex differences re. casual sex • Men more motivated to engage in casual sex (higher sex drive) • Evidence: ▫ Sexual behavior of homosexual ▫ Prostitution ▫ Cultural institutions of polygamy • Consequence: ▫ Access to casual sex becomes important resource that women control Men & causal sex • Significant reproductive advantages ▫ Casual sex can dramatically increase # of offspring ▫ If cuckoldry, can also increase resources available to offspring • Costs ▫ Need to expend resources to attract sex partners ▫ Loss of primary partner ▫ Threat of injury/death from sex partner’s associates ▫ STDs Men’s EPM for casual sex • Lust ▫ Desire for sex per se (visual sexual fantasies) ▫ Desire for multiple, novel partners (Coolidge effect) ▫ Perceptions of attractiveness ▫ Different (i.e., lower) standards for sex partners compared to mates Women & causal sex • Reproductive advantages ▫ Casual sex can increase quality of male genes ▫ Casual sex allows to women to trade sex for other material and social resources • Significant Costs ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Loss of primary partner & resources for offspring Loss of ability to attract long term mate Threat of injury/death from sex partner STDs Women’s EPM for casual sex • Lust ▫ Desire for sex partner with higher mate value ▫ Timing of affairs to coincide with estrus ▫ Quality of orgasm in casual sex • However, generally lower sex drive than men Attracting a mate • Mate preference alone insufficient for pairing with desirable mate (unless socially powerful) • Attracting mate requires possession & display of attributes mates find attractive • Deception and deception detection become relevant • Intra-sex competition also relevant ▫ Competition ▫ Degradation Challenges for men • Attracting long term mate= possess & display ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Resources / resource potential status partner commitment / understanding willingness to spent resources on partner & child • Attracting short term sex partner = display ▫ Resources & willingness to spend on partner ▫ Status / self-confidence & bravado ▫ Physical strength & handsomeness Challenges for women • Attracting long term mate= possess & display ▫ Fecundity (health & youth) ▫ partner commitment / faithfulness ▫ willingness to parent • Attracting short term sex partner = display ▫ Sexual availability ▫ Physical beauty Male deception as mating strategy • Conditions ▫ Men pursue both long and short term partners ▫ For short term, deception viable option: About resources & status About interest in long term relationships Female strategies • For long term partner ▫ Extent courtship period to detect deception ▫ Play “hard to get” to discourage short term sex partners ▫ “Convert” sex-partner to long term partner • For short term partner ▫ Signal availability, e.g., submissiveness ▫ Sexualize appearance Intra-sex competition • Verbal degradation unique to humans ▫ Degrade desirable attributes of competition ▫ For men: resources and/or ability to commit resources, status, involvement with others, etc. ▫ For Women: sexual fidelity, beauty & desirability, etc. • Strategies might backfire • Strategies that degrade both short and long term mate value particularly effective Keeping a mate • Childrearing requires long term commitment from both parents • Long-term cooperation between parents also has other benefits, e.g., division of labor, complementary skills, mutual support, etc. • Costs of long term commitment are primarily opportunity costs, i.e., the benefits an alternate mate could provide Five Strategies • • • • • Pair-bond, adult attachment Supply mate with desired resources Keep competitors at bay Emotional manipulation Increase costs of defection for partner Infant Attachment The Strong Bond between Infant & Primary Care Giver • Innate (shared with many other animals) • Necessary for Survival & Development • Attachment system interacts with parenting to produce attachment styles Parent’s Behavior and Infant’s Attachment Style • Reliably Available Secure Attachment • Reliably Unavailable Avoidant Attachment • Unreliably Available/Over Involved Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment However, parenting behavior is also determined by child behavior Adult Attachment (LOVE) • Assumption that attachment system also applies to adult romantic relationships • Similar physiological/cognitive foundation • For women, attachment consequence of sexual intercourse Display of Attractive Traits • Continuous display of attractive traits keeps mate interested in relationship • For both sexes, display of love & commitment most important • Similar sex differences as in initially attracting mate Keep competition at bay • • • • • Vigilance Public displays of commitment Monopolizing mate Concealing mate (exclusively male strategy) Display jealousy Emotional manipulation • Using guilt/shame • Submission/self-abasement • Provoke jealousy Jealousy • EPM in response to perceived threat to relationship • Motivates mate keeping behaviors • Increases cost of defection for partner • Increases cost of mate snatching for others EPM and behavior • Any complex behavior affected by multiple EPMs and/or other, more mindful cognitive processes • EPMs can trigger other EPMs ▫ Jealousy Anger/Rage • Resist simplistic explanations! Sexual Conflict • Conflict occurs whenever one person interferes with the goal achievement of another • Sexual conflict occurs when one person interferes with the reproductive goals of another • Often, the interference is mutual. That is, by pursuing their own reproductive goals, one sex interferes with the goals of the other sex Responses to conflict • Emotional: aversive psychological state ▫ Anger ▫ Hurt ▫ Jealousy • Cognitive: ▫ Problem solving ▫ Planning influence strategies • Behavioral: ▫ Responsive to other’s goals ▫ Responsive to own goal Common Sexual Conflicts • Sexual Access • Men pursue access to multiple females ▫ Avoid commitment of all resources to one female ▫ Perceive women as overly sexually interested ▫ Sexual aggression • Women restrict access to few men ▫ Withholding sex generally, make it more valuable ▫ Withhold sex to test commitment ▫ Use sexuality to manipulate men Common Sexual Conflicts • Emotional Expressions ▫ Emotional commitment as sign of willingness to invest resources ▫ Moodiness as cost, forces compliance ▫ Moodiness tests commitment ▫ Moodiness requires attention Deception as conflict strategy • Works if it reduces perceived incompatibility of goals • Men: ▫ Deceive about resources ▫ Deceive about commitment • Women: ▫ Deceive about sexual availability ▫ Deceive about fertility (youth & health) Relational Violence / Abuse • Relational Violence / Abuse almost always attempts to control (sexual) behavior of other! ▫ Often result from lack of other means (resources, status, interpersonal skills, etc.) • Perpetrated equally by both sexes, but male to female violence more physically intense Assignment • Do all or any of the three cases represent rape? ▫ Why? Why not? • Does knowledge of EPMs involved in rape make any difference in your judgment? • What behavioral strategies would you recommend to avoid being in such situations? ▫ For men & for women Rape • No evidence that rape evolved as independent mating strategy • More likely manifestation of sexual aggression • Also enacted in pursuit of non-sexual goals • Associated with: ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Misogyny Acceptance of “rape myth” Hostility, impulsiveness, hypermasculinity promiscuity Terminating Relationships • Permanent Commitment disadvantageous ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Survival of partner not certain Partner might decrease in mate value Self might increase in mate value Superior alternatives might become available • EPM to monitor partner and alternatives and to terminate if advantageous • EPM might NOT be different from EPM that motivates maintenance!!! Divorce frequent/(normative?) • Majority of sexual/romantic relationships dissolve in U.S. and cross-culturally • Some evidence for serial monogamy, however • Reasons are associated with reproductive values ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Infidelity: #1 reason for divorce Infertility: # 2 reasons for divorce Lack of economic support: reason for women Sexual withdrawal Cruelty & unkindness Social Exchange Theory • Evaluation of rewards & costs associated with resources in a given relationship • Rewards: things perceived to be beneficial, often because of their value to survival/reproduction • Costs: things perceived to be detrimental, often because of their value to survival/reproduction Five Aspects of Exchange 1) Rewards & Costs: Difference vs. Ratio? 2) Absolute Rewards and Costs 3) Immediate Rewards and Costs 4) Forecast Rewards and Costs 5) Cumulative Rewards and Costs Profit vs. Equity Motivation Profit = an individual’s rewards/cost ratio Equity = each person’s rewards/costs ratio is about equal Example: 10/5 compared to 100/95 Profit: 5 vs. 5 = similar profitable Equity : 2 vs. 1.05 = unequitable Social Exchange Theory (Thibaut & Kelly) • Terms O = Perceived Outcome CL = Expectation CLalt = Perceived Alternatives • Predictions about Relationship Satisfaction: compare O and CL Stability: compare O and CLalt Relationship Outcomes predicted by Social Exchange Theory O > CL satisfied unstable O < CL dissatisfied unstable O > CLalt satisfied stable dissatisfied stable Stability Satisfaction O < CLalt Termination of fatherhood • Movement to allow non-biological fathers to cease fatherhood in case of divorce • Current law: married partner presumed to be father, regardless of biological relatedness • Does genetic unrelatedness creates moral/ethical basis for termination of fatherhood? Changes over Time • Contextual Changes lead to differences behavior ▫ Due to changes in input ▫ Due to alternative EPMs • Significant changes ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Changes in mate value of self, partner, alternatives Loss of desire Menopause Changes in males to females ratio Mate values • Women: ▫ Reproductive potential spikes early, then continuously declines until menopause ▫ Nurturing, parenting skills & ability to provide resources increase steadily • Men: ▫ ability to provide resources and status increase, peak relatively late, then decline Consequences of changing MVs • Lowered commitment, especially for men • Decreases in male guarding of females, experiences of sexual jealousy • No changes in female guarding of male, vigilance, monopolisation Loss of desire • Experienced by both sexes, although male more sensitive to loss of youth and beauty of female • Lowered commitment, especially for males • Directing more effort/resources to children Menopause • Steady decline of female fertility until infertility at ages 40-50. • Associated with decrease in sexual desire/activity • Shifting of effort/resources to children/grandchildren • Increase of extramarital affairs toward end of reproductive period for women Changes in sex ratio • In early life of women, more men available than women, but ratio changes with age 1.08 to 0.40 • Mating very competitive for young men, who are aggressive, take high risks, & have higher mortality • Later in life, men are more likely to change partners Lifelong Commitment • Despite changes, many/most couples stay together for life • Suggests that love as EPM is most powerful reproductive mechanism Harmony between sexes • Men and females are overwhelmingly similar psychologically, including EPMs related to pair bonding, parenting, cooperation, forming and maintaining social relationships. • Life long commitment, experienced as love and desire to fulfill partner’s needs & desires, primary mating strategy • Some differences due to different reproductive challenges ▫ Mate preferences & mating strategies Conflict between sexes I • Inter-sex conflict due to co-evolution of male & female mating preferences/strategies • Female preference of resourceful mates ▫ male attempts to monopolize resources (ambition, dominance, aggression) ▫ Male coalitions to obtain resources (hunting/war) and to protect • Obscure ovulation & uncertain paternity ▫ male attempts to control access to female reproduction Conflict between sexes II • Inter-sex conflict due to conflicting interests ▫ Because the reproductive capacity of females is so much lower than that of men, unfaithfulness in men can always increase the number of their offspring – conflicts with women’s interest in long term commitment by male ▫ Because high value men are in relatively short supply, unfaithfulness in women can almost always increase the quality of genes of offspring – conflicts with male interest in certain paternity Evolution and feminism • Both observe similar phenomena, but conclusion are different. Who is right? Conflict within sexes • Similarities of strategies employed by same sex others leads to appearance of solidarity • Most conflict, however, is intra-sex • Limited number of high value mates leads to competition ▫ As long as potential mates differ in the qualities desired by other sex, competition is inevitable • Conflict is the natural state! Mating and Morality • Advantageous for both men and women to convince others of morality of lifelong commitment ▫ Leads competitors to limit their sexual behaviors ▫ Increases partner’s commitment (esp. for women) ▫ Increases chances of paternity (for men) • “Evolutionary accounts that emphasize the sexually indiscriminate male and the sexually coy female overstate the case” (p.215) Other examples of EPMs underlying morality • • • • Incest avoidance Virginity Female submissiveness Male protection Changes resulting from evolution • Adaptation: Change that positively affects reproductive success • Exaptation: Adaptation originally developed for one function that now serves different function • By-product: Consequence of an adaptation that in itself was not selected for • Cooptation: inherited trait that is nonfunctional • Vestigal Structure: remains of historical adaptation that no longer have any function Women’s hidden mating strategies • • • • Female Orgasm Women’s ability/proclivity to have affairs Menstrual cycles and sexual behavior Men’s ability to detect ovulation Female Orgasm • Adaptation? • NO: not necessary for reproduction • YES: ▫ ▫ ▫ ▫ Hedonic hypothesis Mr. Right hypothesis Paternity confidence hypothesis Sperm retention hypothesis • Empirical evidence supports combination of hypotheses in support of adaptation Women’s Affairs • Adaptation? • NO: too costly with little benefit • YES: ▫ Good genes hypothesis ▫ Mate switching hypothesis Menstrual cycle’s influence on sex • Greater sexual desire at height of fertility, but only for men other than primary partner • Greater sexual attraction to more masculine men at height of fertility (face) • Greater attraction to more symmetrical men at height of fertility (smell) Men’s detection of ovulation • Men’s behavior toward women sensitive to ovulation • Women emit subtle visual and olfactory cues to ovulation • Men’s ability to detect them is uncertain • Men’s behavior could also be due to behavioral changes in women Adaptations • Traits are selected for that increase an organism’s reproductive success relative to intra-species and inter-species competitors • Adaptations do NOT need to be optimal, just better than competition • Rarely, if ever, are adaptations perfect solutions to recurring problem • Also, human behavior is never determined by adaptations alone Mysteries of mating • • • • • • Homosexuality Cross-sex friendship Friends as rivals & mate poachers Rape & Rape defenses Cognitive biases Fetishism & sexualizations Homosexuality • If homosexuality leads to exclusive homosexual relationships, clearly should be selected against • Theories that suggest some benefits for relatives of homosexuals not supported! • However, system of sexual attraction that depends on “learning” often adaptive • Also, sexual attraction possibly result of multiple EPM, that can combine to effect homosexuality • Also, neural connections can misalign Friendship • Yes, men & women can be friends • Sexual desires might emerge, particularly from men • Same sex friends might poach mates • Ultimately, reproduction more important than coalitions, but only marginally so • Social constraints usually regulate those relationships, however Rape & Rape defense • Ultimately, evidence much stronger for rape as by-product than rape as adaptation • No real evidence for EPMs for rape defense, again suggesting no EPMs for rape Cognitive biases • Error Management theory. ▫ Cognitive biases in favor of attributions that increase reproductive success ▫ Cost/benefit of false positive vs. cost/benefit of false negative • Men: overestimate female availability • Women: underestimate male commitment • Both: overestimate infidelity Fetishism & sexualization • Most fetishes reduce reproductive potential, as they usually erotisize behaviors not leading to impregnation • Fetishism suggest great plasticity of human sexuality • Sexualization and erotisation of non-sexual behaviors also suggest sexual drive is malable! Sex and evolution • Behavior (incl. sexual) is complex, multifunctional, & resists simple (evolutionary) explanations • SB affected by numerous EPMs • EPMs and environments interact • EPMs affected by learning & early experiences • SB affected by rules & norms • SB affected by partner, inherently dyadic • All behavioral instincts subject to override by conscious will (higher cognitive functions) • However, EPMs determine many cognitive processes related to sexual behavior and cannot be ignored