Once a mother
Relinquishment and adoption from the perspective of unmarried mothers
in Tamil Nadu, India.
Pien Bos
PhD 2008
(with distinction)
Supervisors:
Dr. Fenneke Reysoo
Prof. Dr. Joke Schrijvers
Funding: NWO-Wotro & WODC
Background of the research & the researcher
•University of Utrecht:
•World-children (NGO)
• Radboud University Nijmegen
MA Pedagogic & Cultural Antropology (1995)
Adoption agency (1995-2000)
PhD. (2008) ‘Once a mother’
2011
• Birthmothers in the Nederlands (2009 – 2011)
•Unicef: supply-side of adoption in Vietnam (2011-2012)
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Adoption Triangle
Relinquished child
Adoption
Agencies
Birthmother/parents
Adoptive parent(s)
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Background of the Research
Based upon experiences while I was working for Wereldkinderen Adoption Agency (1995-2000):
Reasons for relinquishment:
• Financial constraints
– politically incorrect
• Deprivation of parental rights (NL: ‘Ontzet uit de ouderlijke
macht’) (Colombia)
– ± politically (in)correct
• Social stigma – ‘Unmarried Mothers’ (India)
– politically correct
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Tamil Nadu
3
Research Objective
To gain insight into the decision-making processes
of unmarried mothers with regard to raising their
children or relinquishing them for adoption.
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Etnography: approach &
noun
- Grounded theory: Glaser & Straus
(1967 ‘The discovery of grounded theory’)
= approach & noun
- Social constructivism (epistemology)
(versus positivism)
The existence of parallel truths.
(versus one ‘objective’ truth)
- Feminist anthropology: Inter-subjectivity / Reflexive (Action oriented /
Advocacy / Activistic?)
-
Emic perspective:
description of meanings from the perspective of the informants
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Access
- Gate-keepers:
- Participant Observation:
- In-depth Interviews:
- Document analysis:
- Focus-groupdiscussion:
Methods
Sources
- Network
- Research visa
- 2 years fieldwork (2002-2003)
- ‘ Lounge About’ (informal conversations –
observations, document-analysis)
- Thick description
- Mothers, their relations & experts (social workers/
policymakers)
Policydocuments, law, census etc.
Membercheck & Triangulation
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Unmarried mothers?
Photo:
Tying the yellow rope (tāli): the ultimate wedding act.
Negotiating marriage
‘The tāli makes the difference,’ my assistant Florina explains to me. ‘If a
tāli is tied by the man, the woman will consider herself married to that
particular man’. ‘Not like that,’ Meenaksi nuances later. ‘Any man can tie a
tāli in any place. A man may tie his concubine a tāli to make her feel more
comfortable and to reduce her shame but that does not make them
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married.’
Quote: Once a mother Chapter 1
52 ‘Unmarried Mothers’: women without
husband
36 ‘Unmarried Mothers’ relinquished for adoption
- 7 retrospective
- 29 During decision-making process
- 6 (expecting) mothers were married
- 16 (expecting) mothers were unmarried
- 7 (expecting) mothers had a negotiable marital status
16 ‘Unmarried Mothers’ did not relinquish
All retrospective
- 9 unmarried
- 7 once married (single parents: seperated/divorced)
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Relinquishment: The cultural meaning of motherhood
Selvi, twenty years after signing the surrender-deed:
‘It is the same blood running in the two of us. I am sure that he still has the scent of Madras on him.’
Quote: Once a mother Chapter 2
- Relinquishing the care for her child, since motherhood is not transferable
- The legal reality does not match with the personal experiences of mothers (a
‘paperwork-construction’)
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Decisive factors
- Guilt & Loyalty towards family.
Unmarried mother about her father:
‘[He said] “I gave you all the freedom and now you have put me in shame (talaikuṉivu = ‘I lost my
face’). How can I answer the questions? I can not face anybody. I did not expect you to do like this.
I educated you..” He said this to me and started crying.(..)’
-
Reciprocity: Baby as a gift.
-
Role of institutions:
-
Dominant middel-class discourses in institutions.
Financial incentives
Double role
Inadequate and directive counseling
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