Pornography “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without … being burned?” (Proverbs 6:27) What is Pornography? • Literally: “writing about prostitutes” • Over time developed with technology: – Drawing about prostitutes – Photographs of prostitutes – Film of prostitutes, etc. • Common element: “depictions of prostitutes.” Pornography is prostitution. • Delivery system: books, magazines, internet, etc. What is a Prostitute? • Someone lacking self-respect • Someone willing to barter self-respect for money • Someone willing to trade in perversion regardless of the damage caused • A twisting of sex, God’s good gift in marriage, into a barterable perversion outside of marriage Effects of Pornography: • Addicting > doesn’t stop until you stop it. • Escalating > likely to get worse over time. • Eventually values all women as potential prostitutes. • Creates false expectations of marriage: your spouse isn’t a prostitute. • Invites these false expectations to be fulfilled in continued use of pornography, followed by affairs, and the destruction of marriage. Effects of Pornography on your Spouse: • Your spouse can’t and shouldn’t be expected to compete with airbrushed unreality. • Your spouse wants you to think about and love her; not a “composite” of the traits of many women that exists only in imagination. • Your spouse isn’t a prostitute and doesn’t want to compete with prostitutes. • Can become victim of an affair resulting from preoccupation with pornography. Forms and Levels of Pornography: Progression: 1. Advertisements: billboards, magazine ads “sex sells” 2. Mainstream movies: so-called “soft” core scenes deemed a virtual marketing necessity in many movies – different only in that it avoids genitals 3. Hardcore Regardless of where it is in this progression, all of what objectifies women or exists to stimulate sexual appetite is pornography. Cost to the Pornography Addict: • • • • • Guilt Bondage / addiction Spiritual life becomes a façade All the traits and costs of alcoholism Unrealistic expectations on marriage > ruined marriage / divorce • Public embarrassment (Proverbs 5:14) • Hell (Proverbs 7:22-27) Steps to Overcoming • Re-read as often as necessary: Proverbs 5:1-23; 6:20 - 7:27. • Take notes on categories that occur: e.g. causes, effects, roots, e.g. 5:12: “How I hated discipline.” • Make the decision: “I will avoid pornography like the plague” – (because it will kill you just as certainly as the plague). • Face, don’t avoid, the fear of the Lord. Other Steps… • Don’t go by the magazine rack (unless you are buying a specific magazine), use your computer only in public. • When you notice an attractive woman, don’t linger, return to what had your attention; “I have made a covenant with my eyes….” (Job 31:1) • When confronted unexpectedly, turn the page, turn off the movie, close or avert your eyes…whatever it takes (Matt. 5:29) • Get an accountability partner, join S.A. Internet: • Don’t look, click a link or “unsubscribe” • Delete, get spam control, change email addresses if needed. • If necessary, use computer only when others are in the room or keep your back to an open door. • Empty your “deleted items” or spam box to avoid the temptation to go back to sex spam • Limit internet use to necessities. • Ask someone you trust for accountability. Reflection… • Why is pornography such an insidious problem in our society? • How can we help someone struggling with the problem? • How does your relationship with Christ help you towards pure relationships with others? • How would you like prayer support?