Bullying Behaviour
• It is important that you recognize
bullying behaviour and hostile
environments at school, at work, and in
your relationships, so that you can
confront these situations effectively.
• Knowledge is power!......Personal
power to take control of your own
life……
• The Respect. Campaign is your ally if
you are harassed in any way both on
and off the campus. Respect follows you
as a Confederation College student.
BULLYING ‘IN-SIGHT’
School, Work and Relationships
Canadian Law
• Quebec and Saskatchewan are the only
provinces that have passed specific laws
to protect against bullying and hostile
work environments
• Quebec – 81.14 of the Provincial
Labour Standards Act
• Saskatchewan – amendment to their
Health and Safety Act
• Manitoba Bill 210 (in process) to amend the
Workplace Safety and Health Act
• Harassment and workplace-related harassment
Harassment
Harassment – Personal
• More subtle forms of harassment cause grief
and emotional damage. These include remarks,
jokes or actions that demean or humiliate
another person and deny individuals dignity
and respect.
• Although these may not be illegal according to
the criminal code, many workplaces and
educational institutions are developing internal
policies to protect individuals
The Statistics
• The Canada Safety Council states:
• Over 80% of bullies are bosses; some
are co-workers; a minority are higherups
• A bully is equally likely to be a man, or
a woman
• Targeted employees waste between
10% and 52% of their time at work
through defending themselves,
networking for support, thinking about
the situation, being demotivated and
stressed, not to mention taking sick leave
due to stress-related illnesses.
Bullying– What is it?
• Repeated, unprovoked, harmful
actions by one or more people against
another.
• Harassment and bullying are power
plays.
• Both human rights and role rights are
violated
• Discriminatory and sometimes illegal
Bullying – BEHAVIOUR
PASSIVE BULLYING:
• Passive bullying includes exclusion, ignoring,
snubbing, choosing someone last all the time,
disconfirming (as if the person was invisible),
gossiping
Friends Bullying in the Workplace
“Have you Forgotten what it was like in School?” :44
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ReJ1MYB8Yg
Bullying – BEHAVIOUR
“CRAZYMAKING, CHAMELEON-LIKE BULLYING”:
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deliberately withholding information and resources
placing unrealistic work demands on the target
public humiliation
alienation and exclusion from the work team
slow and unwarranted removal of work responsibilities
constant criticism with proof of achievements at work trivialized,
dismissed, ridiculed or ignored
• silent treatment
• isolation of physical work location
• excessively monitoring of target
•
Dr. Gary Namie – KVOS interview 5:59
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfv3PB202H0
Bullying – BEHAVIOUR
CYBER BULLYING:
• Targeting another person and insulting,
threatening and generally demeaning him
or her
• Done by email, instant messaging, bulletin
boards, and websites devoted to bullying a
particular person
• 14% of survey respondents had been
threatened and 16% had hateful
comments posted.
• Allows the bully to remain anonymous.
• Bullycide (Talent Show Video)
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seOQy
MvG99w
Cyber-bullying links cont..
• ABC News: Bullying Story –
Diane Sawyer 9:00
http://www.youtube.com/watc
h?v=6Wcx2qM5C4g&feature=
related
Bullying – What it does
A BULLY:
•
•
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Destroys the Target’s confidence
Betrays the Target’s
trust/confidentiality
Imposes their will on the target
Bullying – What it does cont…
A BULLY:
• Breaches the Target’s loyalty
• Defames the Target’s character
• Denies the Target the right to earn a living
• Obstructs the Target’s work opportunity
• Anti-Bullying PSA –”Think it’s still funny?” powerful
– 3:00
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlSwfcxoNl0
Bully Characteristics
• Bullies lack appropriate interpersonal skills
• Bullies possess immature behavioural skills
(unwilling to accept responsibility)
• Bullies are insecure and lack self-confidence
• Bullies project security and confidence
• Bullies project their real feelings on
others
Bullying– What is it ‘not’?
Bullying and harassment does not include the following:
• Reasonable action taken in a reasonable manner by an
employer or supervisor to assess, evaluate, transfer,
demote, discipline or dismiss a worker
• A decision by an employer or supervisor, based on
reasonable grounds, not to award or provide a promotion,
transfer, or benefit to a worker.
• Reasonable action taken in a reasonable manner under an
act or regulation affecting a worker.
Who is involved?
THE BULLY
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Charming
Insecure/false sense of security
Feels inadequate
Powerless/pseudo-power
Perceives themselves as superior
Must beat down others to maintain perceived sense of control
No empathy for Target
ALWAYS ‘right’/changes the rules to make you ‘wrong’
CONSEQUENCES - Emotional
Signs of Victimization
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Irritability
Anger
Restless
Resentful
Feelings of guilt
Shame
Anxiety
Fear
Depression
Low self-esteem
Shattered spirit
CONSEQUENCES - Cognitive
Signs of Victimization
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Crying depression
Trouble concentrating
Rumination/obsessing
Self blame
Panic attacks
Change in self-perception
Second-guessing
Approval-seeking
CONSEQUENCES - Physical
Signs of Victimization
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Headaches, fatigue
Physical complaints with no apparent cause
Irritable bowel syndrome
Skin problems
Sleeplessness
Change in appetite
Restlessness
Medication use
CONSEQUENCES - Social
Signs of Victimization
• Change in relationships within family,
between friends, and with co-workers
• Isolation
• Withdrawal from social situations
• Decrease in productivity
• Extreme responses – assault, shooting, killing
CONSEQUENCES - Environmental
• Place where harassment/bullying
occurs becomes toxic, hostile or
offensive
• Patterns of relationships change
• Higher rate of absenteeism, illness,
transfers, resignations, stress leave,
use of employee assistance
programs
GROUPS AT RISK
• Health Care Employees
• Social Service Employees
• Correctional Officers
• Teachers/Professors
• Municipal Housing Inspectors
• Public Works Employees
• Retail Employees
• Manufacturing Plant Employees
Workers Montage – Lawyer/Kinkos/Admin Assistant. 4:17
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HopJam6k1mo
CONSEQUENCES - Environmental
• Place where harassment/bullying occurs
becomes toxic, hostile or offensive
• Patterns of relationships change
• Higher rate of absenteeism, illness,
transfers, resignations, stress leave, use
of employee assistance programs
Why does it happen?
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Self esteem issues
Learned behaviour
Personal experience
Emotional issues
• Expectations
• Power struggle
• Threat, insecurity,
inadequacy
• Anger, depression, fear,
• Reward
jealousy etc.
• False sense of power • Retaliation
• Unfamiliarity with
and control
alternatives
• Lack of trust
Bullying – Low Profile – Why?
• Embarrassment by the Target
• Society believes that ‘weak’ people are bullied
• Fear – bullies maintain their dominance through fear
• Fear of losing your job
• Fear of being humiliated and shouted at in front of
others
• Fear of being physically attacked.
• Secrecy (bullying usually appears in private)
• No records (it’s ‘your word’ against ‘theirs’)
• Bullies are usually ‘nice’ in front of witnesses
Bullying – Low Profile – Why?
Continued…
• Fear of Taking Action
• Colleagues are afraid to act, fear of retribution
(secondary bullying)
• Lack of Recognition –
symptoms are misdiagnosed or misattributed
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eg: ‘He’s having a tough time at work/home’
‘Personality clash’
‘Not cut out for this kind of work’
‘Can’t take a joke; being too sensitive’
Bullying – Low Profile – Why?
Continued…
• Disloyalty
• Not socially acceptable to ‘blow the whistle’
• Ignorance
• Not knowing ‘what to do’
• Most organizations do not have clear policies
identifying and addressing bullying behaviour
• Depression
• Causes lack of motivation
• People ‘keep quiet’ hoping it ‘will go away’
Bullying – Low Profile – Why?
Continued…
 Acculturation - The greatest danger!
•
Bullying is seen as ‘NORMAL’
•
Requires a significant event, eg. legal action,
violence, suicide to ‘shake’ the workforce out of
complacency and denial
Bystander Responsibilities
Bystander Excuses (Coloroso 2002):
1.
The Bully is my friend.
2.
It’s not my problem! It’s not my fight!
3.
He/She is not my friend.
4.
He/She is a loser.
5.
He/She deserved to be bullied, asked for it, had it
coming, so why stop it?
6.
He/She didn’t even stand up for themselves, so why
should anyone else stand up for them?
What can I do about it?
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Talk to the harasser
Ask the harasser to stop both verbally and
in writing
Collect evidence
Use appropriate channels within
organization
File a complaint – workplace, legal, or
justice systems
Don’t blame yourself
What can I do about it?
Responding to:
Harassment/bullying/discrimination in general
Use assertive skills:
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Tell someone you trust
Call a crisis line or a help line
Talk to your minister, doctor, teacher
Report it to an authority figure
Seek counseling
Use stress management techniques
Assertive skills – what are they?
The ability to:
• Stand up for your human/role rights without
violating the rights of others
• Maintain a balance in personal power
• Recognize passive, aggressive, indirect
aggression (games), and assertive behaviour in
yourself and others
• Ask for what you want
• Initiate and participate in interactions
• Use verbal and non-verbal behaviour
effectively
• Be authentic and congruent
Sample List of Human Rights
That Are Often Violated
The right to:
Have and express your own feelings and
opinions.
• Refuse requests without having to feel
guilty or selfish.
• Consider your own needs.
• Set your own priorities and make your own
decisions.
• Change
• Decide what to do with your own property,
body, and time.
• Make mistakes-and be responsible for them.
Sample List of Human Rights
That Are Often Violated cont’d
• Ask for what you want ( realizing that the other person has
the right to say no.)
• Choose not to assert yourself.
• Do anything as long as it does not violate the rights of
someone else.
• Maintain your dignity by being properly assertive-even if
the other person feels hurt-as long as you do not violate
the other person’s rights.
• Be independent.
• Be successful.
• Be left alone.
• Be treated with respect and dignity.
• Be listened to and taken seriously.
• Get what you pay for.
• Initiate a discussion of the problem with the person involved
to clarity it.
Bystander Responsibilities (cont…)
“Cowardice asks the question: is it safe?
Expediency asks the question: is it politic?
Vanity asks the question: is it popular?
But conscience asks the question: is it right? And
there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular – but
one must take it because it’s right.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.
• Now you know what Bullying looks
like and feels like……..You know
what you have to do…….
• If you require assertive
skills……take a course in
assertiveness training or
interpersonal communication skills
and learn how to stand up for
yourself in uncomfortable
situations……..