The Jesus Habits
The Habit Of
Listening
Lesson 6
Definition of listening
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Focusing on what another person is saying
with your ears, mind, eyes, and body, making
that person feel valued by you
“People will rarely remember your advice, but
they will remember that you listened”
--Cara Lawrence
Reasons why some people are not good
listeners
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Too busy
Television, radio, internet
Background noise
Not making eye contact
Thinking of something to say while listening
Letting the mind wander
Lack of ability to concentrate
Jesus showed us how to listen
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He was and still is the consummate listener
He listened with his entire being
Those speaking to Him had His full attention
By listening He made people feel they had
value
Jesus listened to the rich young ruler
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Mark 10:17-22
Vs. 21…looking…to look at with the mind
Jesus listened intently
Do you think this man went away knowing he
had been heard?
Should we listen to people even if we
disagree with them?
Jesus listened to an intellectual
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John 3:1-16
Nicodemus did not understand what Jesus
was teaching
Jesus listened, heard him out, then shared
the truth with him
Our listening earns us the right to share with
a person…why?
Jesus listened to the woman at the well
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John 4:7-30
What lessons can we learn from Jesus?
He listened
His listening showed patience
His listening showed she was important
He listened but did not condemn
His listening lead to her being teachable
His listening lead to others believing…vs. 39
Jesus listened to the Gentile woman
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Mark 7:24-30…this woman was hurting
Why would most Jews not listen to her?
People around us are hurting…a listening ear
can make a big difference
Pray God will place you at the right place, at
the right time to listen to someone
Enemies to the habit of listening
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Busyness…I don’t have time to listen
Distractions…Is that my cell phone? I
wonder what’s being said over there?
Lack of interest…I just don’t care what this
person is saying
Selfishness…I want to talk about me
“The first duty of love is to listen” –Paul Tillich
Make listening a habit
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When you are with someone, make that
person your focus
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Neglect everything else and everyone else
around you for that moment
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It’s the ‘you matter’ factor
Planned neglect
Look directly at the person in the eyes
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The eyes are the windows to the soul
Make listening a habit
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Don’t be looking around at other people
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Watch facial expressions, body language,
and tone
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At that moment nobody else matters except the
person who is talking
We can learn much from a person’s cues
Forget your cell phone for the moment
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Put away anything that could hinder you from
listening
Make listening a habit
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Position your body in a way that says, “I am
focusing on you at this moment”
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Body language indicates the degree to which you
are listening
The other person will notice
Don’t be thinking about what you are going to
say in response to what the person is saying
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You will miss hearing key thoughts and words
Quell your desire to talk
Make listening a habit
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Ask questions for clarification and to keep
conversation on track
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Don’t let the conversation wander
Don’t prejudge, making up your mind about
what the person is going to say before they
say it
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Let the person talk
Sometimes people will answer their own
questions