BUILDING HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
PPL 2O Lesson 1
RELATIONSHIP
• We form relationships as
we are born (parents,
siblings, family)
• As we move outside the
home friends, teachers
and neighbors become
important
• As we get older new
relationships (teacherstudent, employeremployee) are formed
BENEFITS OF RELATIONSHIPS
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Love
Companionship
Safety
Shared interests
Affection
• Sharing hopes and
dreams
• Someone is there for
you
• Shared culture or
religion
• Someone to have fun
with
Relationships…
• Involve a connection
between people
• We come into contact with
many people but few will be
relationships
• Some people have many,
some prefer few
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
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Happiness
Trust
Love
Affection
Equality
Mutual Respect
Friendship
Humour / Fun
Can be yourself
No fear of other
Still independent people
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Laughter
Common Interests
Support
Fair fights
Acceptance
Comfort
Kindness
Strong self-esteem
Good communication
Honesty
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
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No trust
No respect
Jealousy
Abuse – emotional,
physical, sexual
• Bad/no
communication
• Low self-esteem
• Power issues
• Unfair fights
• Other person tries to
change you
• Lies
• Manipulation
• Lack of understanding
• No fun
• Fear
Discussion Questions???
• How do you feel in a healthy relationship?
• How do you feel in an unhealthy
relationship?
• Why do some people stay in unhealthy
relationships?
Relationship Role Play
• This will allow students to practice skills for
building, maintaining and enhancing
positive, healthy relationships.
• Get into your 4 groups again and get a
role play card
• Role-play should provide appropriate
example of negotiating in relationships
• 1-3 min…no harsh language!!
Role Play Questions
• What skills were used to deal with the
relationship?
• What level of commitment is involved in
this relationship?
• Can you suggest other ways the
characters may have handled this
situation?
• What were you thinking/feeling as you
watched this role play?
COPY AND COMPLETE..
• 1. Why can dealing with friends, family and the
people we work with sometimes be so difficult?
• 2. What are the most effective ways to start
talking about a difficult topic?
• 3. What skills and elements were used to
maintain these relationships?
• 4. Can you suggest other ways the characters
may have handled these situations? Positive or
negative…..
BUILDING HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
PPL 20
Day 2
GROUP WORK
• In 4 groups write one assigned question on your
chart paper and answer in a group:
• 1. Define the term “dating relationship”.
• 2. Do you think there is a pressure to date? If so,
where does it come from?
• 3. Do you think that males and females have
similar expectations about dating?
• 4. How do we know what factors influence the
qualities we look for in a partner?
What do we look for in a partner?
SAFE DATING
• Dating should be fun and
provide you with an
opportunity to get to know
the other person. It is
important to share decisions
around where you will go
and what you might do on a
date. If it is your first time
out together you may want to
go out with another couple or
in a group.
Safe Dating cont’d
• Be aware of the effects of substance
use and the risk of sexual activity as a
result
• Know your limits around sexual
activity. Being clear about your limits
makes it easier to express them to a
date and stick to them.
• Be honest with your date and use
assertive communication. If you no
longer want to date that person explain
why clearly and simply.
BUILD A RELATIONSHIP
• Activity
• Give each person a card and use the gym
to have everyone line up in an order they
think is the best way to build a relationship
RIGHT / WRONG
• There is no right way for a relationship to
develop – everyone is different
• Not everyone will agree with the order
• **It is most important that the people in the
relationship are happy with the speed the
relationship is progressing
QUESTIONS
• What about gender stereotypes? IF this activity
was done with males and then females – would
the progression be the same?
• Have we built a “real” relationship or an “ideal”
one/
• Do most teen relationships look like this?
• Is there a “point of no return”?
• How long does each step take?
• Are the birth control cards in the right place?
MATURE vs IMMATURE LOVE
• Often people feel that they are in love, but
sometimes it turns out to be infatuation
rather than “mature love”
• Immature love may involve one person
“taking” more that “giving”; jealousy; one
person calling the shots, broken promises
and possibly violence
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Listen to and take your feelings and ideas seriously
Talk openly and honestly with you about what matters to them
Never use threats of harm, violence or suicide to get their own way
Never hit, punch, bite, slap, push or otherwise strike out in anger or
jealousy
Not try to control what you do, where you go or who you talk to
Respect you, and say good things to you and about you
Enjoy spending time with you
Trust you and earn your trust by keeping confidences
Allow you to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you
Accepts your limits about sexual activity, every time
Have a sense of humor
Communicate positively with each other
UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
• Problems may begin to arise in
relationships
• They may start out as “innocent” issues
and can eventually lead to abuse and
violence
• Many teens settle for unhealthy
relationships and find it difficult to
communicate their concerns to their
partners
WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR SOMEONE
TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEY ARE IN
AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
UNHEALTHY REL’N
• The expression “love is blind” is often true
• Someone may feel that they are so in love
that they do not look deeply at the
problems and stay in the relationships for
the following reasons:
Reasons People Stay
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Belief things will get better
Problems are just a phase
They can change their partner
Seen this behavior elsewhere
Don’t know this is unhealthy
Having a partner is more
important
• Scared to break it off (can’t
cope without the other or the
other may be violent)
BUILDING HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIPS
LESSON PLANS: PPL 20
DAY 3
Relationship Violence
• …is the emotional,
physical, and/or
sexual abuse of one
partner by another in
a dating relationship
where the couple is
not living together
Forms of Abuse
Physical Abuse
• The intentional use of any
action that could cause
pain or injury. Shoving,
pushing, slapping,
kicking, biting, punching,
pinching, hair-pulling,
throwing things,
threatening to cause
harm with a weapon.
Emotional Abuse
• Affects our feelings and
includes name-calling,
insulting, blaming,
humiliating, swearing or
yelling, being
disrespectful, causing
embarrassment, being
explosive, extreme mood
swings, manipulating,
being possessive,
isolation
Forms of Abuse
Psychological Abuse
• Throwing or breaking
things, destroying
possessions, threatening
to cause personal harm
to friends, family or pets,
threatening to commit
suicide to get their way,
threatening gestures or
facial expressions,
stalking, contact by
phone etc that causes
fear or discomfort, guilt
tripping, mind games
Sexual Abuse
• Unwanted sexual
touching, sexual acts
without consent, making
fun for not wanting to do
certain sexual things,
unsafe sexual practices,
forcing a person into
degrading, humiliating or
painful sexual acts,
making rude comments
or gestures
How Common?
• Can be either partner…
• Most studies report people ages 15-24
have highest risk of dating violence…
• Females in their teens experience dating
violence at a higher rate than males
Warning Signs
A person who is experiencing an abusive situation may
show the following signs of changes of behavior
• Mood or personality changes
• Physical injuries like bruises, sores, scratches or broken
bones (especially if injuries don’t match the story they tell
you)
• Sudden changes in clothes or makeup
• Failing grades or dropping out of school activities
• Emotional outbursts or over-reacting to things that seem
small or unimportant
Warning Signs
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Difficulty making decisions
• Sudden changes in mood or personality (ex:
becoming anxious or depressed, acting out and
being secretive)
• Changes in eating or sleeping habits, avoiding
eye contact
• Constantly thinking about their dating partner
• Using alcohol or drugs or increased use of drugs
or alcohol
Warning Signs Someone is
Abusive and Could be Violent
• S/He pressures to make the relationship very
serious or to have sex
• S/He becomes extremely jealous and
possessive and thinks these destructive displays
of emotion are signs of love
• S/He is controlling and bossy (ie: makes all the
decisions, does not take your opinion
seriously,or uses put-downs when alone or with
friends)
• S/He uses guilt trips (ie: if you really loved me
you would…)
Warning Signs Someone is
Abusive and Could be Violent
• Blames you for relationship problems (ie:
its because of you I get so mad)
• S/He may apologize for violent behaviors
promising never to act violent again and to
change
• S/He keeps you from spending time with
close friends or family
• S/He is verbally and emotionally abusive
Why might teens not tell…
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Embarrassed, ashamed, stupid, worthless
Alone and afraid of getting hurt
Convinced it’s their fault
Scared of getting in trouble
Parents or friends will blame them or will
be disappointed
• Confused- they may think this is how
people show love
POWER IMBALANCES
• Whenever there is an imbalance of power, there is
potential for misuse of that power.
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POWERFUL
Adult
Men
Rich
White
Boss
Able-bodied
Formally educated
Born in Canada
LESS POWERFUL
children
women
poor
people of color
worker
disablities
non-formally educated
immigrant