Poetry Prompt Revisited
“Siren Song” and excerpt from The
Odyssey
The Prompt: Write an essay in which you
compare the portrayals of the Sirens. Your
analysis should include discussion of tone,
point of view, and whatever poetic devices
(diction, imagery, etc) seem most important.
Taking apart the prompt
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“Compare” implies contrast as well.
Your major goal was to specifically discuss how the
sirens were being portrayed in each piece. You were
to use the POV of the speaker to support/reveal this
portrayal.
You were also supposed to look at how TONE affects
each portrayal. By tone you could discuss Odysseus’
attitude towards the Sirens, their attitude towards
him, and definitely the attitude of the speaker in the
Atwood piece. That one was trickier because you
CAN’T TRUST HER. Her real attitude is revealed in
the last line of the poem, “It works every time.”
Taking apart prompt continued
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The other devices you should have paid
attention to are imagery, perhaps mood and
detail.
The ones you tried to use to ill effect were
diction or enjambment.
POV means: who is speaking/1st person/
perspective of speaker…
Common Errors
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People got tone and mood mixed up. And get the
correct focus of the tone: look at O’s attitude twds the
Sirens and her attitude towards the sailors she lures,
NOT O’s attitude towards his crew (unless it’s part of
characterizing the Sirens) or Atwood’s attitude toward
her Siren.
People focused more on O than the Sirens, unless
they were characterizing the Sirens through him
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Didn’t answer the prompt in terms of HOW the Sirens
were portrayed or ignored tone altogether. The rubric
pulls words from the prompt; if they tell you to focus
on tone, FOCUS ON TONE.
Listed (tone words) and identified POV (O and Sirens),
but didn’t connect the dots in terms of how these things
work together to create a portrayal of the Sirens.
Didn’t use quotes well or at all. This was a major
problem. People had good ideas but no support or
based a whole paragraph on one quote.
Said same thing 5X with different words, especially in
closing paragraph
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Your topic sentences are plot-based and your closing
sentences should have been your TS. It’s like you
spent the entire paragraph describing something, and
then at the end you said, “And so this contributes to
the Sirens being portrayed as ____” INSTEAD of
starting with what they are and then using the literary
elements and quotes to get you there.
You defined how the Sirens are portrayed with the
definition of what Sirens are: irresistible creatures who
lure sailors to death with their song. We know.
You forgot who Odysseus is (b/c his POV is really
important) or you wrote about the “audience” or the
“reader” too much. It’s directed towards the sailors.
Another BIG Issue
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You were fooled by the Sirens…You
completely missed the underlying meaning of
the second poem. In BOTH poems, the Sirens
are deadly ALTHOUGH in the 2nd poem she
portrays herself as an unhappy victim…she’s
totally lying. If you didn’t get this, your essay
got a bit limited.
Some ideas
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Structure doesn’t have to be one paragraph about one
poem and one about the other; it could begin w/a TS
that addresses an idea in both poems, and then you
have support from both pieces to discuss it.
Ideas of masculinity vs. femininity. Did you notice
how one was aggressive, active, full of movement
and force? But the siren herself was more subtle:
seemingly passive, cunning, waiting to be “rescued”?
Both discussed same end result, but both had different
ways of achieving those means and different ways of
portraying themselves.
A Checklist for your Thesis Statements
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It presents an original, solid, supportable, and
hopefully eloquent IDEA that is sufficiently
limited
It answers the SO WHAT by saying something
meaningful
It answers all parts of the prompt and doesn’t
just rearrange the words w/nothing new
It’s at the beginning of the paper!
It reflects effective and precise language
Now let’s look at some samples…
This is the end of part ONE. We will look at
samples on an upcoming day once I have time
to retype the photocopies I made of your stuff!
Stay tuned…