Refusal Skills
and
THE
Right to Say “No”
Sexual Health Program
Public Health Services
March 2012
Refusal Skills
What are Refusal Skills?
Why do we need to learn about
refusal skills in relationships?
Refusal Skills
Refusal skills are ways to say
“NO” to risky behaviors.
Refusal Skills
Refusal skills
help students to resist peer pressure
and to maintain their self-respect at the same.
Refusal skills
can be used in situations of crime,
drug and alcohol use, sexual activity
and violence.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Refusal Skills / Peer Pressure
Refusal skills
can also be
used in any peer pressure
situations.
Adolescents are very sensitive to
peer pressure and do not want
their peers to make fun of or
ridicule them.
Peer Pressure
Peer pressure can be difficult for some
students to resist.
Why do you think this is?
Peer Pressure
Students may be…
- afraid of being rejected by others
- want to be liked and don’t want to lose a friend
- don’t want to be made fun of
- don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings
- aren’t sure of what they really want
- don’t know how to get out of the situation
Peer Pressure
Saying “no” can sometimes be hard, but you might be
surprised how easy it gets with practice.
If you know you are going to be some place where
you might be in a difficult position, plan a
response or action ahead of time.
Refusal Skills Techniques
Some ways that have worked for youth…
Just say “NO” or “NO THANKS”!
Keep on repeating it.
Refuse – “Don’t feel like it.” “No way.”
Leave- this way you can't be persuaded to join in. Leave quietly while
no one notices or by making an excuse or joke - “You guys are too
crazy for me ...see you later.”
Make an excuse. "Can't stop now, got to go....." “I’ll barf.” or “I have
to get up in the morning.”
Pretend you haven't heard and walk away
Refusal Skills Techniques
Change the subject – talk about something else
Laugh - "I thought you said… You've got to be joking!" then change
the subject or leave - still laughing.
Pretend to be shocked or amazed
Come up with a better idea – “Nah, that doesn’t sound like much
fun. Let’s go play video games at my house instead.”
Blame your parents – My Mom can smell this stuff a mile away and
I’ll get grounded for months.”
Refusal Skills Techniques
Give friendly advice:
“That could be a dumb thing to do. Whose idea was it? You're too
smart to get into that.”
“I'm not doing this because I'm your friend and I don't
want to see you get into trouble.”
“That's a bit unkind. How would you feel if someone did (said) that to
you?“”
“Everybody's different, even you.”
“You're entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine.”
More Techniques
Turn the Tables
If the person won’t let up try turning the tables and ask, “why do you
care if I do or don’t ?” Be confident in your response.
State the Truth
People don’t like being accused of peer pressuring others, so try stating
the obvious, “wow, the peer pressure in this room is pretty strong!”
then smile and walk away.
Be Proactive
If you know you are in a situation where you are likely to be offered
alcohol or other drugs, leave before you ever get to that point.
Accept the Person, Reject the Behaviour
If the person is giving you a hard time try telling the person,
“I respect your choice to do drugs, respect mine not to.”
NICE Technique
N – say “NO” not “maybe” or “later”
I
– use an “I” statement – “I do not want to…”
C
– “change” the topic
E
– have an “exit” plan for leaving a pressure
situation
Sandwich Technique
Sandwich formula
(positive-negative-positive)
1. Compliment the person (positive)
2. Refuse or be negative about the activity, not the
person (negative)
3. Come back with a positive suggestion (positive)
Sandwich Techniques
Examples:
“I really like hanging with you. Drugs are not my style though. Besides I
would get kicked off the hockey team if I was caught doing drugs.”
“No way man, smoking is stupid. Let’s go see who is playing basketball
at the school.”
“No thanks, alcohol is not for me. My parents would ground me for a
month if they thought I tried that stuff.”
“I would be very happy to help you with your assignment. I cannot
work with you if you are drinking though. Why don’t you come to
my house with me after school?”
Can you think of some ???
Refusal Skills
Whatever you do, speak firmly. Let your friends
know that your mind is made up and you will
not talk about it any more.
Encourage others to choose healthful and
responsible behaviors.
Quote from teens:
“Be yourself.
Don’t do anything
you don’t want
to do.”
Refusal Skills
Best answer for any type of pressure is
“Good-bye!”
Rights
You have the right to resist
anyone or anything that
someone is pressuring
you to do.
You have the right to say no,
the right not to give a
reason why, and the right
to just walk away from the
situation.
Right to Say “NO”
* Religious/moral beliefs/ values
* Do not want to keep secrets from parents
* To avoid guilt, fear and disappointment
* More time for friends and activities
* Can increase personal growth
* Can develop a more positive relationships
NO
worries about potential consequences
Right to Say “NO”
You are the one who needs to
decide what makes you feel
happy and comfortable doing.
You deserve to be liked,
respected and loved for more
than your willingness to
participate in risky behaviors.
You have a right to say
“NO” at any time!
Quotes
“ You matter.
You are the sum of
your heart and
mind and spirit. ”
Quotes
Quote by Dr. Suess:
“Be who you are and say what
you feel because those
who mind don't matter and
those who matter
don't mind.”
Resources
AADAC, OYZ Refusal Strategy Toolkit
www.family.samhsa.gov
www.theantidrug.com
Great to Wait website
www.greattowait.com/parents-educators.html
Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC)
Sex?-A Healthy Sexuality Resource Nova Scotia Public
Health Services www.gov.ns.ca/ohp
Sexuality and U website- www.sexualityandu.ca
Wikipedia