DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE.
By Peter Isoe
• Have you been Hurt, Betrayed, Degraded,
Stepped On, Belittled, Snipped, Lied On-----?
WHO ARE THESE DIFFICULT PEOPLE?
• Difficult people are those you can’t stand and
who don’t do what you want them to do, OR
do what you don’t want them to do, and you
don’t know what to do about them.
• Whoever it is, Perhaps it is:
1. Your Spouse
4. Parents
7. Co-worker
2. Your Boss
5. Best Friend 8. ---------3. Your Professor 6. Room mate
WHO ARE THEY??????
• Whoever he/she is, She/he is an invalidator
who feeds on your: Self esteem, Mental
Anguish, or Unhappiness.
• You can stop all these attacks on your SOUL by
Nasty people with nasty tactics (as per Jay Carter)
• Difficult people are a fact of life. How you
huddle them will determine your state of
mend and health
In most cases:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
They blame----- Blame takes your power away
They Barrel Over
They Whine
They Find Faults
They explode without notice
• One common thing in all of these people is that
“whenever you try to work with them, the harder
they seem to work with and they try hard to
make your life more difficult, Miserable, and
unpleasant”
• At the worst, they can keep you from achieving
important goals at your work or home.
• It is up to you to bring the best behavior in these
people who are at their worst.
• Remember!!! You can not change anyone except
YOUSELF first “ become Bigger than Your
Situation” (Magic of Thinking Big)
• However they come to you, You don’t
have to be their victim. Instead:
1. Identify the unwanted behavior
2. Examine the forces that compel people
to be difficult in variety ways
3. Build a “LENS” for understanding why
they act the way they do and know
how to interact for positive outcomes
TEN MOST UNWANTED BEHAVIORS:
1. The Tank
2. The Sniper
3. The Grenade
4. The know-it-All
5. The Think-they-Know-it –All
6. The Yes-Person
7. The Nothing person
8. The May-be person
9. The No- Person
10. The Whiner
• All of us react differently to these types of
behaviors.
• The most Irritating Person to you may be well
acceptable to someone else.
• Therefore, know all these types of behaviors
and know how to respond to each one of
them in a positive manner.
• We can all be difficult sometimes but we need
to recognize the part we play by
understanding our behaviors
CHOOSE YOUR APPOACHES
• After your understanding which of these behaviors
are in YOU and those in OTHERS then you choose
your approaches. The choices are:
• Stay and do nothing---- Avoid doing nothing
• Vote with your feet----- You can walk away
• Change your Attitude---- Toward the 10
unwanted behaviors
• Change your behavior---- If you don’t know
me you can’t deal
with me
UNDERSTANDING THE 4 THREATENED
INTENTS:
• After you change your Attitude toward the 10
unwanted behaviors, understand them. This will
help you not to worry about the motives behind
the behavior but understand the intents and:
1. Get it Done
2. Get it Right
3. Get along with people
4. Get Appreciations from people
Task Focus
Get it right
Get it done
Normal Zone
Get Along
Get Appreciated
After recognizing the result of the
threatened intents then:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Reduce differences
Listen to understand
Reach deeper understanding
Speak to be understood
Project and expect the best
Bring the best out of all those 10 unwanted
behaviors