Evidence-based advice on how
to feel good about yourself.
Ramesh Perera-Delcourt
Kaanan Bhavsar
Gina Christoforidis
Holly Winton
Trainee Clinical Psychologists
University of Surrey
With thanks to :
Rupi Johal
Dr Paul Davis
Self-Esteem
• The extent to which people value and accept
themselves;
• Reflected in: how people think about
themselves, treat themselves and relate to
others;
• Everyone has some level of self-esteem!*
• Higher self-esteem is associated with better
physical and mental health.
Format of the workshop
• Using a fictional character to keep workshop
‘safe’;
• Think about how to apply the ideas to
yourself;
• Please ask questions either during or at the
end.
The cognitive-behavioural model
• Central idea: The way that we think about
events affects how we feel.
• Based on experimental evidence from
cognitive psychology.
• Now popular form of therapy, ‘Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy’ (CBT).
What do you see?
• People can see and think about the same
thing differently;
• This affects how people feel:
• “There is nothing either good or bad, but
thinking makes it so” [Hamlet]
‘The noise in the night’
• You are asleep in bed one night.
• Suddenly, you are woken up by a noise
downstairs.
• What goes through your mind?
• How do you feel?
• What do you do next?
The cognitive-behavioural model of low
self-esteem
• Types of Unhelpful Thoughts:
– Perfectionist Standards;
– Self-Criticism;
– Anticipating Failure;
– “Mind-reading.”
• Types of Unhelpful Behaviours:
– Avoidance of situations which might threaten selfesteem;
– Unhelpful behaviours (related to above thoughts);
– Ignoring positives & Focusing on negatives.
The cognitive-behavioural model of
low self-esteem: example
• ‘Jane’:
– Mid 30s;
– Never been particularly confident;
– Worsened recently due to stress:
• Returned to work after first-time maternity
leave;
• High-powered marketing consultant.
– Feels strained, emotionally drained and like
she can’t cope.
Jane’s thoughts-feelings-behaviour cycle
THOUGHTS
Mind-reading: “People will think I can’t do my job properly.”
Anticipate Failure: “I was worried I would make a mistake.”
Perfectionist Standards: “I had to get everything right or
everyone would think I’m incapable.”
Self-Criticism: “I’m stupid, worthless, a failure.”
BEHAVIOUR
Unhelpful Behaviour: “I stayed up all night preparing
materials for meeting.”
Avoidance: “I’ve tried to avoid going to these meetings.”
Unhelpful Behaviour: Stay quiet in meetings.
Focus on negatives: “One of the ideas was a complete
disaster.”
Ignore positives: “She just said she liked my idea because
she feels sorry for me.”
FEELINGS
Anxious
Sad
How to improve self-esteem
• Cognitive-behavioural approach: identify
thoughts that are contributing to negative mood;
• Challenge self-critical thoughts;
• Doing things differently also important.
– e.g. Decreasing avoidance and unhelpful behaviours like
over-preparation.
• Focusing on thoughts in this session.
Small-Group Exercise
• Discuss how to help Jane challenge her
self-critical thoughts:
•
•
•
•
•
What’s the evidence for her thoughts?
Is she focusing on the negative?
What’s the bigger picture?
Is she listening to that self-critical voice again?
What might a friend say to her?
Challenging one’s own thoughts
• Applying this to oneself can be hard!
• ‘Confirmation bias’: people attend to and
remember information that fits with their
current beliefs.
• Harder to spot for ourselves what we can see
for others.
The ‘head-heart’ connection
• “Believe it when I see it”: Need to experience
alternative perspective, not just think it.
• Act differently in order to challenge old
thoughts and support new ones.
• “Behavioural Experiments”
Behavioural Experiments:
a step-by-step guide
Step 1: Belief to be tested
What belief am I testing?
“If I make a mistake in front of my colleagues,
everyone will think I’m incapable.”
What’s another way of looking at it? What else could
happen? (Alternative belief ratings 0-100%)
Some people may laugh at me, but others may not
(20%)
People won’t ignore me and will include me in
discussions (15%)
Step 2: Planning
What do I fear will happen? What am I predicting?
(with belief ratings 0-100%)
Everyone will laugh at my ideas and ignore me (95%)
I will lose my job (70%)
What exactly is my plan? (How will I test my beliefs
and how will I gather evidence?)
At the next meeting, I will prepare less and deliberately
put some mistkes into my presentation.
What will I be tempted to do (safety behaviours)?
Avoid going to the meeting;
Go quickly over the slides with mistakes on.
Step 3: The Experiment
What actually happened?
I went to the meeting. I had 3 slides with errors on. I
left them up for 30 seconds each. No-one commented
at all!
Step 4: Reflections
Re-rate beliefs
Everyone will laugh at my ideas and ignore me (50%)
I will lose my job (50%)
Some people may laugh at me, but others may not (65%)
People won’t ignore me and will include me in discussions
(65%)
What have I learned from the experiment? What is the
next step?
I’m beginning to believe that it is OK to make mistakes in
my work, but am not 100% convinced. I would like to do
more work to reinforce these new, more helpful beliefs.
Individual Exercise
• Plan another behavioural experiment for Jane;
Or
• Write down what ideas and techniques you
plan to take away for yourself.
Summary
• Self-esteem is about how we think about
ourselves;
• Identify your thoughts that make you feel bad
about yourself;
• Challenge these thoughts verbally and with
‘behavioural experiments’;
• Employ some of the other strategies in the
handout to increase your positive experiences
and beliefs about yourself.
Questions and Feedback