Everyone Communicates
Few Connect
John C. Maxwell
Goes Beyond
Words
Others
Focused
Requires
Energy
Influences
Situations
Requires
Skills
10 Principles for Connecting with
Others
Common
Ground
Leads by
Example
Keep it Simple
Inspires
Create
Enjoyable
Experience
1. Connecting
increase your
influence in EVERY
situation!
Key Concept
The smaller the group, the more
important it is to connect.
One-to-One
Connections
Group
Connections
Audience
Connections
One-to-One Connections
• 80 to 90 percent of connections are on this
level.
• Talk more about the other person than
yourself.
• Bring something of value to give to
someone when you get together.
• At the end of a conversation, ask what you
can do to help them and follow through.
Acts of servanthood have a greater impact
and last longer than words.
Group Connections
• Look for ways to compliment people in the
group for their ideas and actions.
• Look for ways to add value to people in
the group and what they are doing.
• Don’t take credit when the group succeeds
and don’t cast blame when it fails.
• Find ways to help the group celebrate
successes together.
Audience Connections
• Let your listeners know that you are
excited to be with them.
• Communicate that you desire to add value
to them.
• Let them know how they or their
organization add value to you.
• Tell them that your time with them is your
highest priority that day.
2. Connecting is all about
OTHERS!
Key Concept
Connecting begins when the other
person feels valued.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Applications
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Know what they value by being a good
listener.
• Find out why they value those things by
asking questions.
• Share your own values that are similar to
theirs.
• Build your relationship on those common
values.
Group Connections
• Discover and identify the strength of each
person.
• Acknowledge the value of each person’s
strength and potential contribution.
• Invite input and allow people to lead in
their area of strength.
Audience Connections
• Express your appreciation for them and
the occasion as soon as possible.
• Do something special for them, if you can,
by preparing unique content for them and
letting them know you have done so.
• See everyone in the audience as a “10,”
expecting a great response from them.
3. Connecting goes
beyond words!
Key Concept
The more you do to go beyond words, the
greater the chance you will connect with
people.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Applications
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Connect visually by giving the other
person your complete attention. See the
other person’s heart and show them yours.
• Connect intellectually by asking questions,
listening carefully, and also paying
attention to what isn’t being said.
• Connect emotionally through appropriate
touch (be sure to honor boundaries).
Group Connections
• Connect visually by setting the example.
• Connect intellectually by investing in
people’s growth.
• Build on what they understand so they can
develop to a higher level.
• Connect emotionally by honoring the
group’s effort and rewarding its work.
Audience Connections
• Connect visually by smiling.
• Let people know you are happy to be
communicating with them.
• Connect intellectually by pausing
periodically to give the audience time to
think about something you’ve said.
• Connect emotionally through facial
expressions, laughter, and tears.
4. Connecting always
requires energy!
Key Concept
The larger the group, the more energy that’s
required to connect.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Write down significant things that happen
to you during the day.
• For important things, share the specifics
with no one else before you share with
that person.
• Take time each day to go over your lists
with each other, which requires being
intentional and energy.
Group Connections
• Introduce yourself to each person before the
session begins.
• Discover something unique about each person.
• Give the group ownership over the meeting.
• Try to serve the group.
• Draw people into the discussion by telling other
about their uniqueness and how it relates to the
subject.
• Find out how you can help them be successful.
Audience Connections
• The larger the crowd, the more energy you
should have.
• The audience it there to receive and not
give energy.
• Be confident, passionate, prepared and
positive and you will bring energy to the
audience.
5. Connecting is more skill
than natural talent!
Key Concepts
The skills learned at one level can be used
to start connecting at the next level.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
•
•
•
•
Have interest in the person.
Place value on that person.
Give his or her interest priority.
Express gratitude to and for that person.
Group Connections
• Show interest in each person of the group by
asking them questions.
• Place value on each person of the group and
point out that value to the others.
• Make it your goal to add value to everyone in the
group.
• Let others in the group know your intentions.
• Express your gratitude to each person publicly.
Audience Connections
• Show interest in the audience by meeting
them before you speak, when possible.
• Let people know that you value them by
preparing the session especially for them.
• Let the people know you are there to serve
them.
• Express gratitude to them and thank them
for their time.
6. Connectors connect on
common ground!
Key Concepts
Know the reasons you and your listener(s)
want to communicate and build a bridge
between those reasons.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Finding common ground is knowing how to
make the interactions beneficial for both of
you.
• Ask questions to discover common
ground.
• Share stories, emotions, and offer lessons
learned from experience to build bridges to
common ground.
• Do something together that you both
enjoy.
Group Connections
• Ask yourself, “what brought us together?”
• Ask yourself, “what is the goal that we all
have?”
• Acknowledge everyone’s differences and
their ability to contribute to the common
goal by using their unique skills.
• Remind the group that the goal is more
important that each individual role.
Audience Connections
• Use the feel, felt, found, find method.
• Feel- try to sense what the audience feels
and acknowledge and validate those
feelings.
• Felt- share with them that you have felt the
same way.
• Found- share with them what you found
that has helped you.
• Find- offer to help them find help for their
lives.
7. Connectors do the
difficult work of keeping it
simple!
Key Concept
The larger the group, the simpler the
communication needs to be.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Read the persons expression to see if you
have communicated clearly.
• Answer any questions the person may
have.
• You have a better chance of
communicating when the person
understands what you are saying.
Group Connections
• Ask for feedback.
• Ask people in the group to share what they
have learned.
• Ask the group to tell how they are going to
pass what you’ve said to others.
Audience Connections
• Ask yourself, “what are the essentials to
communicate for people to understand”
and “how few of those points will make the
event memorable?”
• Share your vision with a single person to
see how well they respond then share it
will a small group and receive input from
them.
8. Connectors create an
experience everyone
enjoys!
Key Concept
Work to create the right experience for your
communication setting.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Honest communication creates a
connection that benefits both parties.
• Work to create an enjoyable experience by
asking questions, using humor, or telling
stories.
Group Connections
• If you help people have a sense of shared
accomplishment, the participants will feel
connected to each other.
• Ask the group to accomplish an enjoyable
task together.
• Make sure everyone gets involved.
Audience Connections
• Audiences want to be entertained.
• Use stories during the presentation.
• During your story, show enthusiasm,
animation, spontaneity, humor, and allow
audience to participate.
9. Connectors inspire
people!
Key Concepts
What people remember most is how you
make them feel.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• Character is what will make the biggest
impression on people.
• Qualities that help people feel connected:
– A heart to serve
– A person of good values
– A helping hand
– A caring spirit
– A believing attitude
Group Connections
• People want to know:
– That you will lead by example.
– That you will only ask them to do what you
have done or are willing to do.
– That you will teach them to do what you have
done.
– That their success is more important to you
than your success.
– That they will get credit for their
accomplishments.
– That you will celebrate their successes.
Audience Connections
• If the audience feels good, they feel
connected.
• Connect on an emotional level by:
– Show that you want to and are enjoying being
there.
– Show that you are friendly.
– Show that you are authentic and vulnerable
and not perfect.
– Show that you are conversing with them.
– Show that you believe in them and they can
believe in themselves.
10. Connectors live what
they communicate!
Key Concept
The only way to keep connecting with
people is to live what you communicate.
One-to-One
Applications
Group
Connections
Audience
Applications
One-to-One Connections
• More than 90% of communications occurs
on this level.
• Ask yourself:
– Does my character emphasize what I say or
undermine it?
– Does my character help me keep and follow
through on my promises or work against me?
– Where do I need to improve?
Group Connections
• People in your group are watching your
example, performance, and teamwork.
• Ask yourself:
– Am I doing what I ask others to do?
– Can people depend on my performance and
willingness to put the team first?
• Make necessary changes to improve your
credibility.
Audience Connections
• Create authenticity in your communication.
• Be vulnerable and let people know the real
you.
Thought
Connecting with others is the
ability to identify with people
and relate to them in a way that
increases your influence with
them.
The ability to connect with others begins
with understanding the value of people.
You attitude often speaks louder than
words.
The greatest problem in communication is
the illusion that is has been
accomplished.
Intentionally include others in your best
experiences and favorite things, you would
become a much better connector
overnight.