Effective Memoirs
How to expand your idea/story so
that it fits the criteria of a memoir
• The lead brings readers right into the action
of the story rather than being an introductory
paragraph of facts.
Example: I looked over at my clock. It said four
o’clock in the morning. I waited for my mother
to come get me. Dad was going to work and
it was time for breakfast. I thought about what
I was going to eat…
Re-write this paragraph to make it an
effective lead.
The lead brings the reader right
into the action of the story
2nd example:
“Squeeaak!” I bolted upright, eyes
scrambling to focus in the dim early
morning light. My heart was thudding, and
I slowly let out a deep breath, willing
myself to calm down. Suddenly I
remembered what day it was…
There’s a lot of personality showing the writer’s
thoughts, feelings, and observations.
Example: Josh stood tall on the thin and delicate
branches. SNAP! The branch had broken
directly under my brother’s feet. He tumbled to
the ground. Dad raced to his side and nervously
asked if he was ok. I looked at my brother. My
eyes locked on his leg. I pointed my shaking
finger directly at the hole in my brother’s leg. A
root had gone into the side of his knee.
Re-write showing thoughts, feelings, and
observations of the writer.
There’s a lot of personality showing the
writer’s thoughts, feelings, and observations.
Example: I could not bear to look as Josh
balanced precariously on the thin branch above
my head. SNAP! I watched in horror as my
brother’s body raced toward the ground, hitting it
with a sickening crunch. I couldn’t breathe.
Frozen in fear I watched my father run to his
side. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing
came out. I lifted my arm as in a stupor and
pointed my shaking finger to where blood was
seeping from a wound in my brother’s leg. I felt
faint as I realized that a branch had been driven
into the side of his knee.
The pace is slowed down: readers can make a
movie in their minds
Example: The doctor handed me my son and held
him close. Then the nurse took him and put him
in the crib. I watched them wheel the crib down
the hall, with my baby boy inside. I had to go
pack for the long trip to be with him. When I was
ready I got in the car and headed to the airport.
After the short flight, I took a taxi to the hospital
and waited for him to come out of surgery.
Re-write this paragraph with a slower pace and
more details so that readers can visualize what
happens.
The pace is slowed down: readers can make a
movie in their minds
Example: I looked into the deep brown eyes of my new
baby boy. I could feel his weight and warmth; he was
light in my arms. I could not believe they had to take him
away from me. When the nurse reached out for him I
hesitated.
“I’m not ready,” I managed to whisper. I could see
the sympathy in her eyes.
“The helicopter is waiting. We’ve got to go.” She took
my son and placed him back in the crib. My arms felt
empty as I watched them roll his bed out the EXIT door. I
knew I should be packing so I could get to the IWk and
see him again. But I was immobile, hot tears splashing
onto the cold, hard hospital floor.
There’s a So what?: a meaning or significance that
was discovered by the memoirist during the act of
writing the memoir
Example: I was there to greet my son as he came
out of surgery. He was in an incubator hooked
up to 5 needles and a feeding tube. It was so
scary. I wasn’t even allowed to hold him. I could
reach in and touch his tiny hands and feet. I
ached to hold him in my arms and rock him to
sleep.
Brainstorm what significance or meaning this
experience might have had for me.
There’s a So what?: a meaning or significance
that was discovered by the memoirist during
the act of writing the memoir
I looked at my helpless infant son in the incubator.He
was hooked up to needles and a feeding tube and I was
not able to hold him. My arms ached at the loss. This
was not what I had planned for my second-born. I felt
torn with guilt at leaving my oldest child behind in New
Brunswick. He had been expecting to gain a baby
brother and instead he was without both his parents. It
wasn’t fair.!Suddenly lights were blinking and monitors
beeping. White-coated nurses went running to the crib
beside my son. I watched them work on an infant that fit
into the palm of their hand. In that moment of panic, I
looked at my sturdy, 9 lb. baby boy and realized how
fortunate I was. I had been feeling sorry for myself when
I should be feeling thankful. My son would have a full
recovery. I just had to get through the next few months.