Leadership
& Self Deception
By The Arbinger Institute
WHAT WE WANT IS WHAT WE DON’T GET!
Philosophy
An underlying issue
that undercuts both
•Individuals
•Organisations
SELF
DECEPTION
the problem of not knowing one has a problem
PARADOX
we often create our own problems
we seem unaware that we create problems
we actively resist solutions
The result of
self Deception
is…
PEOPLE PROBLEMS
poor communications
poor relationships
poor teamwork
• Politics / Conflict
• Low Morale / Motivation
• Silo Thinking / Lack of Departmental
Interaction
• Lack of Trust / Lack of Empowerment
• Poor Leadership - Not walking the talk!
• Lack of Ownership, Accountability,
Responsibility
• No Initiative
• The list goes on and on………..
To solve it, we try different
strategies
training
selection of the right people
robust management
methods
Key Performance
Indicators (KPIs)
clear milestones
Performance
Management
Systems
Incentives and
Rewards
and more!
Improved
Communications
Leadership
Dialogue
Shared
Vision,
Values
BPR
With all these strategies in place …
how much time do we still spend on
managing people problems?
at what cost to the team?
at what cost to the organization?
A BOLD CLAIM!
PEOPLE PROBLEMS
• Poor Communications
• Poor Relationships
• Poor Teamwork / Lack of Cohesion
• Politics / Conflict
• Low Morale / Motivation
• Silo Thinking / Lack of Departmental Interaction
• Lack of Trust / Lack of Empowerment
• Poor Leadership
• Lack of Ownership, Accountability, Responsibility
• No Initiative
SENSE: Share the information with
Mark to help him with his work
Honour
the sense
CHOICE
Person
[Responsive Way]
Betray the
sense
How I started to see
Myself
• Deserve to be on
top
• Hardworking
• Busy
How I started to see
Mark
• Competitor/threat
• Won’t appreciate it
• May not need it
• May misconstrue my
intentions
• Too dependent
• Lazy
In Self-Betrayal, I feel JUSTIFIED
-Horribilise
-Be defensive
-Blame with thoughts &
emotions
Object
[Resistant Way]
Why is the BOX a big deal?
L2: Coworker
CONSTANTLY
MEASURING
OTHERS’ IMPACT
ON ME
L1: Customer
Focused on Myself
L3: Team Member
Focused on my doings
Seeking Justification
L4: Boss
BOX SYMPTOMS
focusing on… what others need to do
focusing on… other’s mistakes
focusing on… other’s negative qualities
NOT focusing on… being a better team member
and more!
SOLVING THE BETRAYAL PROBLEM
Remember …
When I am in the box …
focus on myself
focus on my doings
measure others’ impact on me
SEE OBJECTS!
When I am out of the box …
focus on others
focus on results
measure my impact on others
SEE PEOPLE!
A WAY OUT OF
THE BOX
….EMBED A WAY
OF WORKING
THAT DOESN’T
ALLOW US
TO FOCUS ON
OURSELVES OR
OUR DOINGS
BUT INSTEAD
KEEPS US FOCUSED
ON OTHERS AND
RESULTS
L2: Coworker
L3: Team Member
CONSTANTLY
MEASURE MY
IMPACT ON
OTHERS!
Focus on Others
Focus on Results
L1: Customer
L4: Boss