Winners vs Losers
To understand that individuals
can control their attitudes and
actions by choosing their self-talk
(thoughts)
Objective:
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
To identify how negative
thoughts lead to the loser’s
position.
To identify how positive thought
lead to the winner’s position.
To differentiate between
winners’ and losers choices.
Event + Response =
What you get
1.
2.
3.
4.
What you get, what happens to you is a
result of actions you take.
Your actions are a result of your feelings
or attitudes.
Your feelings or attitudes are a result of
your vocabulary, the words you use
orally land silently (self-talk).
What vocabulary you use is a choice you
make
Winners vs Losers
“Saying that winners choose
positive thoughts and self-talk,
does not let us know HOW they do
that, because we all know that it
is not always an easy choice to
make.
Winners do 3 things:
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

First, they recognize that every
situation has a positive and negative
aspect.
Second, they recognize that there are
always more positive aspects than
negative.
Third, they pick out the positives and
concentrate self-talk on these.
Winners vs Losers
Knowing those three steps, how do
you think losers end up in a negative
position?”
“We are going to examine a few actual
situations to see how people go
through the steps of choosing the
thoughts they will have. These will
illustrate how, based on what they
think, people end up either losers or
winners. We will look twice at each
situation; as a loser and then as a
winner.”
Event + Your Response =
What you get (example A)
L
O
S
E
R
You and a friend
plan to go to the
movie on Fri.
Fri afternoon the
friend calls and
says they aren’t
going.
Negative thoughts
-nothing ever turns
out right for me.
-he must not like
me very much.
-he probably found
someone else he
wanted to be with
to do something.
-if I can’t go to the
movie tonight I
don’t want to do
anything.
Feelings
-bummed out
-negative about self
-bothered, irritated
Actions
-sit around the house
and complain
-not find something
else fun to do
-have a bad time
-are in a bad mood
-have a boring eve
-turned control of
your life
over to
someone else
Event + Your Resonse =
What you get (example A)
W
I
N
N
E
R
Positive Thoughts
-sometimes plans
change
-there are lots of
other things I can
do this eve
-there are other people
I can be with to
do fun stuff
Results:
-have a good time
-are in a good mood
-have a nice eve
-took control of
your life
Feelings
-accepting
-positive about self
-content
-eager about finding a new activity
Actions
-find something else to do
-find someone else to do something
-enjoy your own company
Event + Your Resonse =
What you get (example B)
L
O
S
E
R
Negative Thoughts
Your divorced
- I want my real mom
-angry
Parent gets
& dad to be together
remarried
- this will never
work out
You now live in
- I’ll be left out
a new family
- I am not going
w/ a stepparent
to like this new
& stepbrothers
family
&stepsisters
Feelings
-frustrated
-hurt
-resentful
-left out
-neglected
-unhappy
Actions
-withdraw from new family
-not cooperative w/ new family
-not friendly toward new family members
-get in a lot of trouble at home
-live in a family with a lot of strife and stress
-are preoccupied w/ negative thoughts about your family situation & that
drains your energy
-don’t feel good about yourself & that keeps you from getting on with
your life
Event + Your Resonse =
What you get (example B)
W
I
N
N
E
R
Positive Thoughts
-I understand my
real parents made
a choice not to live
together anymore
-I wonder how we can
all work together
-I don’t know this new
family very well
Feelings
-acceptance
-calm
-open-minded
-content
-cheerful
-positive
Results:
- are not always in trouble
- have an easier life at home
- live in a family that
gets along better &
there is less fighting
- have positive thoughts
about your family situation
so you have more energy
& can focus that energy
in ways that will help you
- feel good about yourself
& that allows you to get on
with your life
Actions
-participate in new family
-cooperative with new family
-friendly toward new family members
Group Activity
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Get into groups of two and
complete the situation sheet.
Fill out front and back.
Then share with group.