‘Its still me, Lord…’
Some reflections on meeting the spiritual needs of
people with dementia
Ben Bano Project Manager Caritas Social Action Network Dementia Project
Affirming our personhood
 All of us have spiritual needs
 All of us need to find and affirm our
personhood – and that’s particularly
important in dementia
 If I have dementia, I will want to express my
spiritual needs even though physically and
mentally I might be deteriorating.
And if I have a dementis
 My individuality counts, not my deficits
 I need to be loved
 I need to be included
 I need to be accepted
 I need comfort from those around me and from my
environment
 I need to be occupied - to use my remaining abilities
in a significant way
As dementia takes hold…
‘As I travel towards the dissolution of my
self, my personality, my very “essence”, my
relationship with God needs increasing
support from you, my other in the body of
Christ. Don't abandon me at any stage, for
the Holy Spirit connects us, it links our
souls, our spirits—not our minds or brains. I
need you to minister to me, to sing with me,
pray with me, to be my memory for me’.
(Bryden)
‘I need you to minister to me…’
 Always include people with dementia in our parish
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communities – ‘Everybody’s welcome’
We need to be very flexible in ministering to people with
dementia – people still have their favourite forms of
liturgy…
Some might want Communion or Mass at some times
but not others
Some might want to pray familiar prayers, for example
the Rosary
Some might want a ‘ministry of presence’
Familiar photos and treasured possessions are helpful –
remember that long-term memory is often less impaired
than shorter term memory
I need you to communicate with me…
 Speak slowly and calmly – I will need time to
process information. I often will only understand the
first and last words of a sentence…
 I will do things at my own pace
 However fragile I might appear to be, please don’t
talk down to me…I’m still a person with my dignity
and with my strengths…please don’t call me ‘love’ or
darling
 And a gentle touch might be just the right thing
‘I need you to pray with me…’
 Symbols are very important - here we have an
example of symbols – in this Communion service a
candle is lit for each person in the room.
‘I need you to be my memory for me…’
 Some people find a memory box helpful – in which
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they can keep cherished possessions nearby.
We can help by prompting treasured memories from
pictures and experiences such First Communion,
wedding and other events.
And I need opportunities to celebrate
Photos and pictures can serve as a reminder of
special memories
School certificates and other mementos can serve as
reminders of achievement…
‘I need you to sing with me…
 Music and familiar hymns can be very helpful – but
just occasionally they can be unhelpful…
 Large texts and familiar psalms and readings can be
helpful…perhaps pictures of nature ?
As a carer I need you to think about
my spiritual needs
 Carers can so often feel isolated from the Parish
Community
 Carers often have a mix of complex emotions and
feelings which need to be heard…
 Carers might feel ‘let down’…
 How can we minister to carers and families ?
 Remember – ‘Everybody’s welcome’
As a carer I need your ministry…
 Putting people in touch with the right services – for
example memory services
 Social events and activities - including carers and
families – making sure that respite care provides an
opportunity for people to keep in touch with their
Church
 Support Groups for carers and families
 Prayer Groups
‘Its still me, Lord…’
‘Just as I am I come.
This is me Lord,
I hope you can remember who I am
because I can’t always put a name or face to me.
This is me Lord,
I hope you know what you are doing
because I can’t always,
either for you or for me.
This is me Lord,
I hope you remember me
just as I am.’
(From Malcolm Goldsmith)