ENGLCOM-RVLC
Bituin, Simon, Villadolid
EVOCATIVE DESCRIPTION
WRITING
EVOCATIVE DESCRIPTION
 Language is so vivid and realistic that it
makes the reader feel as if he/she is in the
story, experiencing every event alongside the
characters.
Evocative Description
 REDUNDANCIES
 says the obvious, either something already stated or
something any intelligent reader could assume
Example:
 She gets her information from different books and articles
that she has read on the different insecticides.
 It was an unexpected surprise when a pair of baby twins
was born at 12 midnight
Correct:
 She gets her insecticide information from books and
articles.
 It was a surprise when the twins were born at midnight.
Redundancy
Lean version
12 midnight
Midnight
12 noon
Noon
Close proximity
Proximity
Each and every
Each
End result
Result
Free gift
Gift
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm
Evocative Description
 HIDDEN SUBJECTS, OBJECTS, AND VERBS
 Empty words replace subjects and verbs
Example:
At the beginning of this ad, it shows the new
Infiniti for 2004.
Correct:
The beginning of this ad shows the new Infiniti for
2004.
Evocative Description
 METADISCOURSE
 Writers give their readers cues for how to read and
interpret sentences.
 Words that tell readers how to read words
 Qualifiers, intensifiers, and other modifiers can be
specific aids to reading.
Evocative Description
 METADISCOURSE
 May take the form of the following:
 Transitional adverbs such as however and therefore
 Adverbial qualifiers and intensifiers such as nearly
and indeed
 Indicate time and place
 Modifiers that express the writer’s attitude toward
the subject
Examples of conjunctive adverbs that can serve
as metadiscourse for transitions between ideas,
paragraphs, and sentences:
Addition/Compare
Moreover, furthermore, also,
besides, likewise, similarly
Time
Meanwhile, after, next, during,
later, previously
Contrast
However, instead, on the
contrary, on the other hand
Result
therefore, so, consequently, as
a result
Concession
nevertheless, yet, still, at any
rate, after all, of course
Summary
thus, then, in conclusion
Reinforcement
further, indeed, in particular,
above all, in fact
http://create.arizona.edu/content/lessons-cohesion-part-iii-metadiscourse
Evocative Description
 Metaphors, similes and symbols could be
used to give a more detailed description.
 Each detail chosen tells us something about
the point-of-view character----what they
notice, and what they find important.
 The sound and sense should be concentrated.
 The imagery should be deliberately
heightened.
Florida was plenty hot, certainly, and humid,
too. Hot enough that your clothes stuck to
you like scotch tape, and sweat dripped like
tears from your forehead into your eyes.
Looking for Alaska by John Green
Evocative Description
 MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD
 Four informal voices
 Tone of voices in three less casual styles
 Timbre
 That certain something
Informal Voices
 Use of Simile
Example: “Thoughts, just mere thoughts, are as powerful as electric
batteries, as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as a poison.”
 Use of Metaphoric Verbs
Example: “She cut me off, yet I’m still hoping she would change her
mind.”
Informal Voices
 Descriptive
Example: “My most valuable possession is an old, slightly warped
blond guitar--the first instrument I taught myself how to play. It's
nothing fancy, just a Madeira folk guitar, all scuffed and scratched and
finger-printed. At the top is a bramble of copper-wound strings, each
one hooked through the eye of a silver tuning key. The strings are
stretched down a long, slim neck, its frets tarnished, the wood worn by
years of fingers pressing chords and picking notes. The body of the
Madeira is shaped like an enormous yellow pear, one that was slightly
damaged in shipping.”
Informal Voices
 Combinations of figures of speech
Example: “The sun smiled at me when I smiled at it like a toothpaste
model.”
Tone of voice in less casual style
 Academic tone
Informal:
When I got my students to think science was wicked cool, their
test scores went through the roof! When I asked for their spin on
their improvement, they just said the test felt like a piece of cake
to them after I had implemented the new curriculum changes.
Revised to be more formal:
When I was able to engage my students and get them interested
in science, their test scores improved significantly. I asked a few
students why they thought the scores had improved, and they
admitted that the test seemed much easier because of the new
curriculum.
Timbre
 Each written voice – like a spoken voice – has
a certain resonance
Example: “For my part, like is so many things I don't care what it is.
It's not my affair to sum it up. Just now it's a cup of tea. This morning
it was a wormwood and gall. Hand me the sugar.”
That certain ‘something’
 Just by simply reading, we cannot define the
voice. To know what voice is being used, you
need to let your senses take over.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/QomZHQP4U9o/Tb7pUGgecQI/AAAAAAAABIo/NEMMXvhpLkY/s1600/VerbalAbuse-3-l.jpg