Using Models to Create Good
Writers
Raya Al Risi
Donald Sargeant
“The practice of reading model
essays to learn writing skills can be
traced to antiquity” (Smagorinsky,
P. 1992)
Our Presentation
• Why use models
• Our stories
– The materials
– Raya’s story
– Donald’s story
• Our conclusion
Our Stories
• Once upon a time in 2010 in far off
Batinah North the Teacher trainers in
the training centre were asked to run a
language development course.
Writing Academic Essays
• As part of the course we were asked to
introduce FOUR writing seminars.
• The topics were:
• What makes a good teacher
• A good language learner. Are you one?
• Managing learners. Is it easy?
• Continuing Professional Development: What
can I do to develop my practice?”
Our problems
• As soon as we began to teach our first courses,
we realised we had several problems
• Our participants disliked writing
• They had little idea how to organize their
writing
• They made many mistakes
Our solutions
• This presentation is mainly how we tackled
the first and second of these problems:
• Motivation to write essays
• The organization of essays
Why use models
• Reading and writing are connected. The more
you read the better you will be as a writer.
• Providing sample texts is seen as important
by many writers. (Hyland, Strauch, Reid).
• Encourages critical analysis of reading text.
• So makes for integrated approach in teaching.
• Illustrates mechanics, such as referencing.
• “The ability to write is hypothesized to be the
result of reading”. Krashen. 1984, p 23).
Dangers of Using Models
•
•
•
•
Students may follow it slavishly.
See it as a life raft
Discourage critical thinking.
May cause interference with students own
rhetorical models in their L1 (Hirvela, 2004)
Ways to overcome this
The literature
• Offer multiple samples
• Introduce models sooner rather than later
• Use parts not wholes
Our remedy
• Provide plan first
• Get participants to write first draft
The materials
• Our attempted solutions has been mainly built
around our materials. These were developed
in stages:
• The plan
• The model essay
• Sheet for analysing model essay
• Sheet for analysing participants’ essays
The Plan
• In our first programme we used brainstorming
techniques, but then we realised that students
needed a more rigorous plan
• We then developed a plan for the first essay
Model Essay
• Now we will show you the materials
• Your package contains
• Four plans
• Four model essays
• Three worksheets for essays.
Now we will divide you into groups to look at
the plans, essays and worksheets.
Implementing the materials
Raya’s Story
• Pre-Intermediate English Language Course for
Teachers 2010
• Pre- Intermediate English Language Course for
Teachers 2011
• New English Teachers’ Course 2011 – 2012
Essay 1 Analysis
References in bibliography are correct
References in text are correct
Paragraphs have evidence from literature
Paragraphs have evidence from experience
Paragraphs have evidence to support argument
Paragraphs are linked to last paragraph
Paragraphs have links to next paragraph
Paragraphs have thesis statement
Conclusion gives writer's opinion
Conclusion summarizes essay
Has a conclusion
Signposts are reflected in paragraphs
Introduction signposts essay
Has an introduction
Is divided into paragraphs
Essay 1 No
Essay 1 Yes
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Essay 2 Analysis
References in bibliography are correct
References in text are correct
Paragraphs have evidence from literature
Paragraphs have evidence from experience
Paragraphs have evidence to support argument
Paragraphs are linked to last paragraph
Paragraphs have links to next paragraph
Paragraphs have thesis statement
Conclusion gives writer's opinion
Conclusion summarizes essay
Has a conclusion
Signposts are reflected in paragraphs
Introduction signposts essay
Has an introduction
Is divided into paragraphs
Essay 2 No
Essay 2 Yes
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
Donald’s story
• Intermediate English Language Course for
Teachers 2010
• Intermediate English Language Course for
Teachers 2011
• New English Teachers’ Course 2011 – 2012
• Cycle Two Course 2012 On going
Cycle 2 Course
• This course is on going
• The teachers on this course are highly
motivated.
• I have been keeping more detailed statistics
on this course
• Here are the results so far
The Good Teacher Draft 1
• 14 essays handed in out of 15 participants
• 2 were plagiarised
• 12 of the teachers had paragraphs for first draft after being given
the plan.
• All had introductions
• 10 signposted the essay in the first paragraph
• But only 6 reflected this in their paragraphs
• 11 had a conclusion
• 5 summarized the essay
• 8 gave their own opinion in the conclusion
• 5 had links between paragraphs
• 6 had evidence to support arguments
• 5 had evidence from experience
• 3 had evidence from literature
• Only I had references that were correct.
The Good Teacher Draft 2
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
10 returned (4 absent)
The 2 plagiarised are now in their own words
All 10 signpost in the introduction
All 10 reflect this in their paragraphs
9 use some evidence to support arguments
9 use some evidence from experience
7 use evidence from literature
Only 2 have completely correct referencing, though 2 others
have it partly correct.
• All give their own opinion in the conclusion.
Evidence of links between paragraphs
Participant 4
First Paragraph was on “Knowledge of subject”.
Opening of second paragraph: “Knowledge is
not enough.....”
Participant 7
First Paragraph was on “Knowledge of subject”
Opening of second paragraph “Good knowledge
is not enough
And they all wrote happily ever after
• The organization of nearly all participants improved
• With improved organization correction of mistakes
becomes easier
• However:
• Most still couldn’t do referencing
• To most writing is still a drudge
Bibliography
• Hirvela, A. (2004) Connecting Reading and Writing in Second Language
Writing Instruction. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.
• Hyland, K. (2002) Teaching and Researching Writing. Harlow: Longman.
• Krashen, S. (1984) Writing: Research, theory and applications. Oxford:
Pergamon.
• Reid, J. M. ( (1993). Teaching ESL Writing. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall.
• Smagorinsky, P. (1992). ‘How reading model essays affects writers’. In
Irwin, J. & Doyle, M. (Eds) Reading / writing connnections: Learning from
research. (pp.160 – 176) Newark: DE: International Reading Association.
• Strauch, A. O. (1998) Bridges to Academic Writing. Cambridge.: CUP.