Understanding Families’ Goals, Values, and Culture CD 11 Fall 2013 Prof. Gallegos Cultural Differences in Goals &Values • Our culture affects everything we do. • Culture rules how we position our bodies, how we touch each other, how we look at the world, how we think, how we see art, what we think is important, how we set our goals, etc. • Culture determines our values. • Values are behind everything we do and every decision we make. Cultural Differences in Goals &Values • Parents are either pro independence or pro interdependent. • Cultural rules are behind their behaviorwhether they keep them or break them. – Can be influenced by the part of town or area of the country where you grew up. – Many people don’t grow up in one place Independence vs. Interdependent Independence- Pattern 1 • Baby is able to go to sleep in their own crib • Raise child’s self-esteem • Pro self-help skills • Self-expression is important Interdependent-Pattern 2 • Might sleep with child or child sleeps in the same room • Praise group accomplishments • Help others • Good manners When Conflicts Arise • Stereotypes are still with us and affect how we see people from cultures, income levels, & family structures. • WE all tend to look at any situation from our own point of view • Ethnocentric-we look out of our own cultural eyes and measure others with our own cultural yardstick. • Dialoguing- is an approach to solving a conflict that is effective at helping the disagreeing parties see each others’ point of view. – People engaged in dialogue try to understand the other perspective. Argument vs. Dialogue • • • • • Argument The object is to win The arguer tells The arguer tries to persuade The arguer tries to convince The arguer sees 2 opposing views & considers theirs the valid or best one • • • • • Dialogue The object of a dialogue is to gather information The dialoguer asks The dialoguer seeks to learn The dialoguer wants to discover The dialoguer is willing to understand multiple viewpoints Cont. Argument vs. Dialogue • Most people are better at arguing than they are at having a dialogue. • Gestures reflect their attitudes – Assuming a defensive position • To truly listen, one must suspend judgment & focus on what’s being said rather than getting ready for the attack. • One procedure for problem solving is called RERUN RERUN • Reflect-this is the action of acknowledge what you perceive the other person is thinking or feeling. Reflect also includes self-reflection. • Explain-we listen twice as much b/c we have 2 ears and one mouth. You listen first then you can explain your point of view. • Reason-part of your explanation should include a reason you have tour perspective. Disclose that the issue is an emotional button for you. • Understand-Tune is to both thoughts and feelings and try to understand the situation from both points od view. • Negotiate-try brainstorming together until you can find mutually satisfying solution • http://youtu.be/gjGL6YY6oMs More Components • • • • • Build Relationships Know Yourself Work to bring difference out in the open Discuss differences Become an effective cross-cultural communicator • Problem Solve • Commit yourself to education Understand & Value Cultural Pluralism • We need to work on ourselves so we can be models for children about how to do what we hope they will learn. • Children have the ability to compartmentalizethat is, to understand that one set of behaviors is appropriate at one place and another but not another. Supporting Home Language • Social interactions-not just with adults but also with other children. • Using preschool practice, teachers put children in environments that let them be active and focus on their interests and communication comes naturally in those environments. Activity • Let’s practice –What are some of the factors in children’s lives what work against their prosocial development?