Vicki Stasch, M.S, Management Consultant
Vickistasch@comcast.net www.Vickistasch.com
559.288.5044
360.588.4924
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Over 30 years as a facilitator for team building,
strategic planning, leadership development and
other work to create positive work environments
Facilitator for year-long leadership development
programs in California and Whatcom County
Clients include state and local government, non
profits, businesses, health care
Education: B.A. University of Washington, M.S.
from University of San Francisco
Hobbies and interests: rowing, bicycling, tap
dancing, Rotary International, environmental
issues and others
 Overview
of Conflict and
Management Principles
 Methods for handing conflict
 Specific steps to follow
 Opportunity to develop a strategy
to handle a current conflict
 Danger
 Opportunity
 Something
to avoid
 Something else
 Conflict
is when a least one
person (group) is being blocked
or feels he or she is being blocked
from doing or getting something
they want.
Misunderstanding- lack of role
clarity
Personality clashes- not liking
another person
Competition for resources ($,
people, time)
Authority issues
Lack of cooperation
Differences over methods or style
Low performance
Value or goal differences
Others_________________________
 What
types of conflict
challenges you the most at
work?
 What are the route causes?
 A.
I like to win-I am competitive
 B. I tend to avoid difficult conflicts
 C. I tend to choose my battles and
may give in
 D. I strive to reach a compromise
if possible
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Ignoring things that bother you is shown
in your body language and voice tone.
Control your response. Count to 10 or
walk away until you cool down.
Talk or write to the person asking for a
time to meet
If someone approaches you with a
problem, be willing to work on it
If “A” complains about “B” who is not
present, encourage “A” to go directly to
”B”. Do not spread the message
If you try working on the issues with no
resolution seek a third party facilitator
Remember, on a bad day you are
almost never alone!
Close your eyes and smile
at least once a day!
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Change/confusion/tension: best time to
address conflict unless we avoid or say “not a
big deal”
2) Role dilemma: Questions about what’s
going on, begin the blame game
3) Injustices collecting: collect injustices,
negative energy. Injustice takes place of
original confusion
4) Confrontation: at unexpected time; judging
or condemning the other rather than focusing
on the issue
5) Adjustments: distance ourselves
(psychologically or physically). Continued
accommodation or dominance
1)
 Is
this a real problem or are you
having a bad hair day
 Identify the real issue, not
symptoms or personalities
 Be prepared to work toward a
“win-win” not “winning”
 Use Covey’s “Seek First to
Understand then to be
Understood” method
Having a
bad hair
day?
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#1: One person holds power over the
other and tells the solution
#2: Arbitration: Third party solution, like
judge in a courtroom or a policy manual
#3: Mediation: two people resolve with a
third party facilitator
#4: Cooperative: Two people resolve
together
A.
B.
C.
D.
An employee is perpetually late for
work. After several discussions, the
supervisor tell the employee “one more
time and you are fired”
Two workers cannot agree on an
assignment and ask their supervisor to
clarify it with them
Two co workers agree to go to lunch
with each desiring different food. They
decide to go to restaurant A this week
and B next week.
Two managers disagree over how the
sexual harassment policy should be
applied. They ask HR for clarification
and read the company policy manual.
 Listening
attentively
◦ Paraphrasing
◦ Openness
◦ Stating agreement
 Speaking
assertively
◦ “I” messages
◦ Stating preferences
Write or envision a few words that
describe a conflict that is bothering
you.
 Determine which of the methods
1,2,3,or 4 is appropriate.
 Develop a strategy including the
words you will use to address the
conflict after we review the
recommended steps.
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Describe the conflict:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
______________________
Which strategy- 1,2,3,or 4 is most
appropriate_______________________
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Looks like we have a problem (rather than
“you” have a problem).
I’d like to resolve this problem using
method #4 (show the 4 methods).
Do you wish to start, do you wish me to
start or should we toss a coin?
When someone complains about another “Is
this a problem you would like to get
resolved” then offer to facilitate.
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Invitation: Is each person
willing to work fairly and
cooperatively using the steps
below following options #3 or
#4? ( If not, should #1 or # 2
be used?)
1)
 2)
Basic rules:
◦ Allow (name of person) to lead
the process
◦ Listen without interrupting
◦ Be honest as you can
◦ No name calling or profanity
◦ Be willing to summarize
◦ If process seems unfair, say so
 Person A: Describe how you experienced
the problem, conflict or injustice.
Person B: summarizes (“you said
that…..?”
 Person B: Describe how you experienced
the problem, conflict or injustice
 Person A : summarizes (“you said
that….?)
 Have the experiences been recognized?
If not repeat
◦ 4) Seek agreements that:
Restore equity: How can you
make things as right as
possible now?”
Clarify future: “ How can you
prevent this from happening
again?”
◦ 5) Summarize agreement and
congratulate:
 Write an agreement, give copy to
each person and congratulate. Set
follow-up meeting. If no agreement
return to step #1
◦ 6) Follow up:
 Are agreements being kept? If yes,
celebrate. If not, repeat process.
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Describe the conflict from early in
presentation:
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________
Describe the method you will use to seek
resolution
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
_____________
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R espect the right to disagree
E xpress your real concerns
S hare common goals and interests
O pen yourself to different points of view
L isten carefully to all proposals
U nderstand the major issues
T hink about probable consequences
I magine several possible alternative
solutions
O ffer some reasonable compromise
N egotiate mutually fair cooperative
agreements
Vicki Stasch