paragraphs - Staff Portal Camas School District

Warm Up Monday, February 9th
If you haven’t submitted it electronically, hand in your
annotated bibliography.
Quoted evidence should serve your writing, not
interrupt it. A direct quotation must be grammatically
inside a sentence that you have created.
Directions: Revise the “naked quote” so that it is fluidly
integrated into the grammar of the previous sentence.
RED=Student Writing
BLUE=Direct Quote
Warm Up Slide – Integrating Quotes
Many schools are changing policies to allow cell
phones to be used for educational purposes in
classrooms. “Teachers are finding that students are
more engaged in activities when they can use their
phones to take quizzes or respond to questions”
Learning Targets:
To revise thesis statements
To write hooks for introductory paragraphs.
To write a rough draft of your introduction to your
senior research essay.
Hooks - Models
Startling Statement - All human beings are capable of the most gruesome crimes imaginable.
It is only because of the customs and controls of civilization that we do not become brute
Shocking Statistic - On a recent anonymous survey, over ninety percent of high school males
admitted to secretly enjoying the music of 'N Sync and to practicing their "hot dance moves."
Scenario - A close friend of mine was in the Vietnam War and he admitted to me that he was
terrified every time he had to go into battle. Even so, I consider him one of the most
courageous men I have ever known. It is not the absence of fear that defines courage, but the
ability of one to force oneself to take action in spite of fear.
Analogy - The models that grace the pages of magazines seem to be better than anyone we
have ever met: they seem elegant, untouchable, and perfect. But, just as magazine covers are
manipulated to hide imperfections, we, too, sometimes fool ourselves into ignoring the flaws
of individuals whom we have built up to be perfect beings.
Philosophical Musing - Why is it that, if a person were to have his or her navel suddenly
disappear, we would think that their stomach looked weird? I mean, that darn navel thing is
pretty weird just being there, don’t you think?
Introductions - Hooks
The Hook
Use something surprising to grasp your audience’s interest: Students are often
surprised to know that many of their instructors were not high-ranking students in
their own graduating classes. In fact, one of the most well-respected
Composition instructors here at Madeup University flunked Freshman English not
once, but twice!
Then, it comes back in your conclusion: Any student at Madeup University will tell
you that the teachers who once struggled in their subject area are the most
helpful. Remember that Composition teacher who flunked Freshman English
twice? That was Mrs. Somebody--a popular Composition teacher and well-liked
tutor in the Writing Center on campus. The best guides are those who've
experienced the struggle themselves; these teachers truly help students climb
toward academic success.
Remember, it is not enough to hook your audience in the beginning. You also
have lead them on a journey that comes back around in your conclusion. There
is no such thing as “next season” in papers- so NO CLIFF HANGERS!
Thesis Statements
Must include your problem/issue, and a quick
overview of each perspective on the problem.
May be 1-2 sentences.
What Goes Between the Hook and
Thesis Statement?
Here are the three main tasks that an introduction can
Connect/appeal to the reader.
Anticipate their needs.
Orient them to their coming “journey.”
Intro. Strategy 1: Provide any background material
important to your argument (anticipating reader’s needs).
Intro. Strategy 2: Define key terms, as you intend to make
use of them in your argument (anticipate their needs).
So, how do you bridge between your hook and your thesis
Introduction – A Checklist
A good introduction should…
Describe what you plan to write about
Give the reader some idea of how you plan to discuss or
approach your topic
Give background information on your topic (when
Include a clear, concise thesis statement
Establish a connection between the writer and the audience
Rough draft of intro – due at the end of class!
A print out of all the sources you found last week
(I’m hoping to see at least 10, and this list can be
informal) Due tomorrow, 2/10
A Formal Works Cited sheet of all the research
you intend to use. Due Friday, 2/13