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Welcome (5 min)
Background for Workshop
Defining “Development” (5 min)
Development Strategies—Drafting/Revision
Stages (30 min)
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Metacognitive Level/Awareness of Choice in Writing
 Evidence
 Analysis
 Word and Sentence Level
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Application: Sample Paragraphs and Supporting
Development
Paragraph Assignment and Group Work/Discussion (20
min)
 Groups Present Strategies/Lessons (30 min)
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Fall 2010
Teresa Guinon
Kelly Hagen
Melissa Lloyd-Jones
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Welcome
Background for Workshop
Defining “Development”
Development Strategies—Drafting/Revision
Stages
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Metacognitive Level/Awareness of Choice in Writing
 Evidence
 Analysis
 Word and Sentence Level
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Application: Sample Paragraphs and Teaching
Development
Paragraph Activity and Group Work/Discussion
 Groups Present Strategies/Lessons
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Improve SLO assessment
Feedback after spring portfolio read
Let’s face it—it’s complex to teach
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“Development”
Multiple definitions exist, but they all seem to “get
at” the same idea.
 From Rubric: “Writer fully supports all paragraphs
with relevant specific examples and
explains/analyzes their significance.”
 Our definition: “What is the most interesting and
effective way to prove this point to both myself and
my reader?”
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Purpose of Evidence
Evidence is any type of information that will
convince readers that a point or claim is
reasonable or correct. Effective paragraphs and
essays usually present a carefully chosen
combination of evidence. While insufficient
evidence results in weak paragraphs, too much
evidence can be overwhelming for readers.
Therefore, good writers make decisions about
the amount of evidence and the types of
evidence they will use, based on their purpose,
audience, and topic sentence/thesis.
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Types of Evidence Handout
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Gives students descriptions of different types of
evidence and how they can be effective as well as
considerations & concerns.
Types of Evidence Used in a Sample Essay
Handout
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Gives students specific examples of the different
types of evidence that could be used in a sample
essay.
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Revising Evidence in Your
Paragraph Handout
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Gives students a way to . . .
 identify what types of evidence they are
using
 evaluate if effective
 brainstorm alternative and additional types
to prove their point.
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Forces students to isolate point and evidence.
Tools for making the different layers of
analysis explicit.
Guiding questions offer multiple lenses for
analysis.
Can be used for drafting and revision (see
revised paragraph).
We recognize that word choices do not happen
in isolation but depend on the context of the
sentence, paragraph and essay. Thus, rather
than prescribe word rules, we want to help Ss
practice strategies to make purposeful wording
decisions.
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Provide sample wordings so that Ss can inductively
arrive at identifying the strengths and weaknesses of
word choices.
Facilitate conversations about “why” one wording is
more effective than another.
Teach Ss strategies to edit weak words and to find
alternative stronger word choices.
Build a Editing Strategies Tool Box by encouraging Ss
to share their word choice strategies.
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Different adaptations of word choice lessons
teacher-created demonstration essays
 instructional charts
 word lists
 word maps
 other graphic organizers
 peer revision
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Use Concrete or Colorful Parts of Speech
Specific Nouns
 Vivid Verbs
 Focused Adjectives & Adverbs
Connotations
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Help Ss understand the differences between word
choice meanings.
Thesaurus Play
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Cut Out Clichés
The Problem with YOU
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Sample Paragraphs for discussion & revision
Pruning Dead Wood (Words)
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Teaching Development Activity (20 minutes):
3 groups, 3 different body paragraphs
 In groups, read your assigned body paragraph
 Brainstorm instructional strategies for supporting
students’ development revision
 Feel free to adapt ideas/resources presented today
and share those that you use in your classes
 Groups will present
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Prompt: Evaluate the positive and/or negative
effects of social networking websites, taking a
stance on whether you believe these sites are
more beneficial or harmful in the development
of their users’ social skills.
Thesis: Although it connects you with relatives
and friends it’s also a distraction, and later on it
can affect your real life relationships.
While these websites help us communicate with long distance family and
friends, it’s a distraction to real life. Students tend to keep their minds on
computer games and social websites instead of their school work and paying
attention in class. My younger brother Jesus says “When my mother bought
me a computer, at first I used it as a distraction to pass time but after awhile I
got addicted to it and I refused to go to school. Then my mom told me I had to
go to school. Then after my mom disconnected the internet I started focusing
on school and doing well.” This doesn’t affect just students but those in the
work place as well. Employees have been fired from their jobs for playing
computer games, on social websites and even on porn sites instead of
focusing on the job. A long distance friend name Virydiana from Modesto but
now she move to the Bay Area where she holds her job there as a cashier in
the supermarket, explained that one of her work mates used her cell phone to
go to Myspace and Facebook during work hours, she mentioned that she
would hide from the supervisor, when he was around. Unfortunately they
found her several times using the cell phone, so she got fired. Do you think
this kind of social websites are worth loosing your job? This kind of websites
affect us by distracting us from our education, our jobs and learning abilities,
we got to learn how to use our time properly and to know when is enough.
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Prompt: How do real life super heroes reflect
mainstream American ideals?
Thesis: Master Legend likes being what he is,
see’s what homeless people are going through,
and understands that people’s views on
superheroes never seem to change.
Master Legend knows what the homeless people he see’s are going
through. He has done things like handing out socks to them under an
Orlando overpass to help them fight staph infections. One of the best
thing’s he has given to the homeless is hope. When they were being helped
by this guy they would have felt so warm and happy. All the pain they
were feeling from being homeless would have just gone for that moment as
they talked to Master Legend. Many people are not like the guy. They try
to mask all the evil that’s in the world, while Master Legend does
something about it. He isn’t afraid and is determined for the world to be a
better place. Just like the many real life superheroes that follow in his steps.
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Prompt: Do extrinsic rewards harm or help
learning?
Thesis: Extrinsic rewards keep students
motivated to keep trying when they face boring
or difficult work because they know that there
is a reward in the end.
Rewards help set up little stepping stones to teach individuals how to
accomplish bit goals throughout real life. Have rewards is a guideline towards
success, this guides them because they will know that when they reach their goal
theirs satisfaction in the end. If there is a positive ending, more people would
want to be involved in the task, which helps them learn to proceed with certain
strategies they acquire in learning to accomplish specific goals done. In addition,
it would also teach them to strive for success to overcome the obstacle. This sets
up a guide line to teach the students the importance to succeed in what they have
to do every day in and out of school. Rewards just reinforce the mandatory duties
and make it fun if students receive a reward it is equivalent to a positive boost. It’s
like a dessert at the end of a delicious meal and that’s what they look forward to
when they’re done. Using cash perks, discounts, prizes, and discounts to school
events or outside events, are good motivational tools that are working in school
districts. When there is a possibility in school to promote good behavior and
keeps children on task, there will be better grades, higher test scores, fewer
dropout rates, and lower violence and drug rates. They will also be more focused
towards achievements, projects, and school work in and out of the class room.
Peers will also persuade their friends and other students to do well, because they
will see when others are showing improvement, when you get good things such
as extrinsic rewards.
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Please take a moment to provide us with some
feedback.