Thesis Statements
that Work
How too much “What” and Too Little “Why” Will Tank a
Paper from the Start
What is Your Claim &
Why Should Anyone Care?
The largest problems with early draft
thesis statements:
Not a specific enough analytical claim
about the work(s)
No sense of exigency or why this claim
matters
Too specific of a claim locks the author
into a 5 paragraph essay organization
Not Specific Enough
 White Noise highlights many tenets of
postmodernism.
 Salinger creates the fascinating character of
Holden Caulfield through a series of key
interactions with the novel’s supporting cast.
 Edgar Allen Poe’s work was affected greatly by the
current events of his childhood and career which
subsequently affected his style and subject matter.
Not Specific Enough
 White Noise highlights many tenets of postmodernism.
 What tenets? Why are these tenets being highlighted?
 Salinger creates the fascinating character of Holden Caulfield
through a series of key interactions with the novel’s supporting cast.
 Why is he fascinating? Which interactions? What other cast
members? Why are these other cast members being
highlighted at the expense of others?
 Edgar Allen Poe’s work was affected greatly by the current events of
his childhood and career which subsequently affected his style and
subject matter.
 Which works will be discussed? What elements of his style?
What areas of his subject matter?
So What?
No Sense of Exigency.
 In Huckleberry Finn, Twain develops a contrast
between life on the river and life on the shore.
 All the characters in White Noise have specific and
different coping devices to handle their conscious
(and subconscious) fears about the fluidity of their
identities.
 Through Holden’s interactions with both his sister
Phoebe and his teacher Mr. Antolini, Salinger
highlights Holden’s internal struggle between
holding onto childhood innocence and avoiding the
“phoniness” of being an adult.
So What?
No Sense of Exigency.
 In Huckleberry Finn, Twain develops a contrast between life
on the river and life on the shore.
Better:
 Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s
Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of
American ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go
back to nature. At a time where more and more Americans
are moving into major cities, Twain’s suggestion is more
relevant than ever and lends this aging novel continued
relevance in today’s techno-industrial world.
So What?
No Sense of Exigency.
 All the characters in White Noise have specific and different
coping devices to handle their conscious (and subconscious)
fears about the fluidity of their identities.
Better:
 Although all the characters in White Noise have different coping
devices to handle their often subconscious fears about the
fluidity of identity, Heinrich, Jack, and Murray have put the most
conscious work into maintaining these specific devices. As
identity continues to be a key touchstone for defining the
postmodern condition, looking at these three men from different
generations highlights how coping with unstable identity not only
touches everyone but necessitates alternate methods at
different ages.
So What?
No Sense of Exigency.
 Through Holden’s interactions with both his sister Phoebe and
his teacher Mr. Antolini, Salinger highlights Holden’s internal
struggle between holding onto childhood innocence and
avoiding the “phoniness” of being an adult.
Better:
 Through Holden’s interactions with both his sister Phoebe and
his teacher Mr. Antolini, Salinger highlights Holden’s internal
struggle between holding onto childhood innocence and
avoiding the “phoniness” of being an adult. As much of the
criticism on the novel views key scenes with Phoebe and Mr.
Antolini as clear epiphany moments for Holden, highlighting
Holden’s mixed feelings about both characters reveals a more
complex take on the protagonist's’ growth.
Too Specific
 All the characters in White Noise have specific and different
coping devices to handle their conscious (and subconscious)
fears about the fluidity of their identities. In particular, I will
look at Jack’s “JAK Gladney” image, Heinrich’s questions
about brain chemistry, and Murray’s plans for a course on car
crashes in cinema to illustrate how each character
consciously fashions a preferred identity for themselves.
 This will certainly lead to a 5-paragraph essay that discusses
exactly these scenes with no reasoning behind the order of
discussion.
 Even if a reason is given for the order through metacommentary, it’s still not a good thesis.
Looking Forward
 Covering these 3 points/scenes is perfectly valid
 JAK Gladney
 Brain Chemistry
 Car Crash Seminar
 The key is to discuss them in a purposeful
order so that the thesis and argument grows
more complex through the discussion
 Instead of 3 points that randomly reference it but
don’t build together
An Orderly Reasoning
 I elect an outside to inside and order of importance
organization
1.
Car Crashes- to demonstrate that sometimes people look to
others for identity cues (Murray is trying to model Jack’s
success)
JAK Gladney- to argue that Murray fails in his attempts, so
others look to their own methods
2.
1.
3.
Though others do encourage Jack to “fill into” his Hitler role so this
harkens back to previous point
Brain Chemistry- to suggest that neither inside or outside
approaches can work because we’re perhaps ultimately
under the control of brain chemistry that is beyond our control
1.
Synthesizes previous two points and ends on the most
provocative idea