Persuasive Research Essay Outline
• Let’s look over the
outline of this essay.
• Notice the amount of
sentences required
per paragraph.
• Notice how much
evidence is required
to support your ideas.
THESIS STATEMENTS 101
The most important SENTENCE in any text!
A GOOD thesis sentence has three main parts:
1) the limited subject (what your paper is
about),
2) the precise opinion (what you're trying
to say about that subject), and
3) the essay map (a brief outline of how
you're going to support your claim –
should explain “HOW” or “WHY” your
idea/opinion is right or strong; Rationale)
Basic Example
1) Subject: Restoring old houses
(Circle the subject)
1) Opinion: Restoring old houses is
rewarding. (underline the opinion)
2) Essay map: It is exciting, relaxing, and
satisfying. (box the essay map)
Basic Thesis Statement
• >Use “BECAUSE” to put it all
together into a Basic Thesis
Statement:
• Restoring old houses is rewarding
BECAUSE it is exciting, relaxing,
and satisfying.
Strong Thesis Statement
• >Use qualifiers like ALTHOUGH, WHEN, IF
and revise vocabulary into a Strong
Thesis Statement:
• When antique houses are restored,
home-owners not only reap the benefits of
a new home but also the excitement,
relaxation, and satisfaction of the
process.
Revision: BASIC to STRONG
• Restoring old houses is rewarding
BECAUSE it is exciting, relaxing, and
satisfying.
• When antique houses are restored,
home-owners not only reap the benefits of
a new home but also the excitement,
relaxation, and satisfaction of the
process.
Dr. Thesis: Diagnosis
Each of the following thesis patients has a
sickness. Diagnose the problem and give a
prescription. Which part of the thesis is
present and which is missing?
1) Chefs are better than cooks.
2) Steroid abuse
3) Hip hop is the best thing that has
happened to music in twenty years.
4) I enjoy white water rafting.
Weak > Basic > Great > Strong
• Chefs are better than cooks.
• Chefs are better than cooks because
chefs have more education, are more
professional, and are creative with the
food they create.
• ALTHOUGH both chefs and cooks
can prepare fine meals, chefs differ
from cooks in education, professional
commitment, and artistry.
Your Turn to Play Dr. Thesis
• For each student thesis, diagnose the
problem and the prescription needed.
Which part of the thesis is present and
which is missing?
• Determine if it is Weak, Basic, Great, or
Strong.
• Revise the thesis into a Great or
Strong Thesis.
DAILY
Homework: get a company journal, choose 3
essay examples, sketch your park
Song: “Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars – Pajama Day 
1. What is a thesis statement? Why is it
important?
2. What 3 main parts are needed in every
good thesis statement?
3. What is a qualifier?
• A word or phrase modifies the meaning of another word
or phrase.
Keep this work out and
available for the period….
• Stapled article packet – please
staple the 3 SQPRS/GIST worksheets
to the top of the article packet and
staple the 3 new articles to the back of
the packet
Company meeting
• What are your next steps? Your company must create
at least 3 promotional materials (poster, brochure,
website, commercial, etc.) Decide who is going to do
what. Start sketching out your park.
• Potential tasks to assign:
• Begin visual layout of the park
• Create poster
• Create brochure
• Create website
• Design characters and/or symbols to display on exhibition night
DAILY
Homework: journal, complete 3 E’s chart
Song: “Is There A Ghost” by Band of Horses – to get us
into the Halloween spirit  Happy Twin Day!
1) What 3 examples did you write last night?
2) Complete the following BASIC thesis
statement using your 3 examples:
• Basic Thesis Statement: Benefactors should
invest in the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park
section of Andy Town because
(1st reason) ,
(2nd reason) and (3rd reason) .
Weak > Basic > Great > Strong
• Steroid abuse
• Steroids should be banned from
sports.
• Steroids should be banned from sports
BECAUSE athletes tend to abuse
them.
• Steroids, even those legally
available, are addictive and should be
banned from sports.
Weak > Basic > Great > Strong
• Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to
music in twenty years.
• Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to
music in twenty years BECAUSE it gives kids a
way of expressing themselves and is an example
of poetry found in the streets.
• Though many people dismiss hip hop as
offensive, hip hop music offers urban youth an
important opportunity for artistic expression, and
allows them to articulate the poetry of the street.
Weak > Basic > Great > Strong
• I enjoy white water rafting.
• I enjoy white water rafting BECAUSE it is
challenging and transforming.
• A first water rafting experience can challenge
the body and spirit and transform an
adolescent into an adult.
• Although white water rafting can be
dangerous, a first water rafting experience
can actually challenge the body and spirit
and transform an adolescent into an adult.
Student Theses
• 1. Republican presidents have
contributed to the “American Dream”
more so than the Democrats.
• Present: subject, opinion
• Missing: essay map
• Basic
• Strong: Republican presidents have
contributed to the “American Dream”
more so than the Democrats by lowering
taxes and increasing job supply.
Strong Student Theses
• With your partner, choose the best
STRONG thesis statements for the
numbers assigned.
• If one of your names is called, be
prepared to share your answers with
the class.
Writing Section – Write a STRONG
thesis statement.
• It is now time to apply your knowledge and
understanding of thesis statements.
• Prompt:
• Why should benefactors invest in your
theme park section? What makes your
ideas innovative with a potential for
success?
• Basic Thesis Statement: Benefactors should invest in the
Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park section of Andy Town
because
(1st reason) , (2nd reason) and (3rd
reason) .
Please take out your body
paragraphs.
Homework: complete first essay draft, journal
Song: “This is Halloween” by Marilyn Manson – Rachel
Happy Halloween!
1. What is a topic sentence?
2. What is a closing/transition sentence?
3. Make a quote sandwich.
“There is a reason why when most people
think of ‘theme park’ they think of Disney.”
–www.forbes.com
Journaling the Journey
• Beginning tonight, your company needs to journal the
journey of designing and building your theme park.
• Each entry should be about 2 pages and should describe
the challenges and triumphs you’ve experienced.
• Each entry should:
• Include the date
• Be hand-written (Neatly! Organization matters!)
• Be 2 pages
• Include detailed descriptions of the team process
• Include sketches and doodles that are inspiring your theme park
design (handwritten or computer/magazine images)
• Be written from the perspective of a theme park designer!
Design roles
• CEO (Chief Executive Officer) - As CEO Joe leads all Thinkwell operations; from
•
•
•
•
live shows and events, to multi-scale developments and educational experiences,
he keeps teams focused, on schedule and on budget.
Creative Director - In the themed entertainment industry, Dave is the ideal hybrid
of passionate fan and creative professional. At Thinkwell, he offers creative
leadership, strong vision and ever-inventive ways to approach a problem with
confidence.
Production Manager - Ryan has worked with Thinkwell since the company's
inception, earning the nickname "Employee #2". As Production Manager, he
manages the day-to-day production elements, facilitating the creative and
administrative process to deliver the project on time and on budget.
Client Relations - At Thinkwell, Kirsten manages client relationships - increasing
their understanding of the Thinkwell process and communicating the priorities of our
clients to our production teams, thereby ensuring that our clients' goals are realized.
Finance Manager - As the Manager of Finance for Thinkwell Group, Steven is
responsible for analyzing project costs, managing cash flow, and most importantly,
distributing paychecks to the hard-working Thinkwell team, making him incredibly
popular on Friday afternoons.
• Visit www.thinkwellgroup.com for more options! Click on Our People and explore the different
positions available. Read the bios for ideas about what to discuss in your journal entries.
Journal Entry Example
• October 30, 2011
• Today was especially difficult. As the theme park’s
Creative Director, I was challenged on many levels today.
My team was working to construct our park’s main
attraction, the Twisty Turner, when we stumbled upon a
major problem. We do not have enough tracks to
complete the course! Our benefactors supplied us with
the budget we asked for, but it turns out that we need
more money! What are we going to do? …
Body Paragraphs
• Topic Sentence
• Introduces the main argument in the paragraph.
• Example
• An example from your business plan that supports
your thesis.
• Evidence
• Research that supports why an existing local theme
park is not as special as yours.
• Explanation
• Explain why the quote supports your argument.
• Do not say, “This quote is important because…”
• Closing/Transition Sentence
• Wrap up your thoughts. Connect to the example in
the next paragraph.
Transitions
• Also
• Link the 2 examples together.
• And
• Besides
• Not only does Pirate Land
• Furthermore
offer family fun for everyone, it
also provides an affordable
admission price.
• In addition to offering family
fun for everyone, Pirate Land
is also reasonably priced.
• In addition
• In fact
• Indeed
• Moreover
• So too
Quote Blending Practice
• Turn to the 4th
page of your essay
packet.
• We will practice
QUOTE
BLENDING…the
art of blending your
chosen evidence
into your essay.
Quote Blending
• What is a quote?
• A quote is a group of words
taken from a text or speech
and repeated by someone
other than the original author or
speaker.
HOW TO MAKE A
QUOTE SANDWICH
A quote sandwich has 3 main parts
1.
2.
3.
Context
Quote
Explanation (Analysis)
An example of a quote sandwich
• According to the website www.about.com,
“Disneyland has almost 60 rides and a
host of other attractions.” Although
Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its
patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme
Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes
to roller coaster offerings. From merry-gorounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate
Park has rides the entire family can enjoy,
including teenagers. While Disneyland
mostly caters to its young customers, this
park is fun for everyone.
1. Context
• Where in the article the quotation is from
• Which author said or thought it
• What is happening at that moment
Example:
According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland
has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.”
Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its
patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s
palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From
merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park
has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers.
While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers,
this park is fun for everyone.
2. Quotation
• Should not be too long
• Must be punctuated correctly
• Must be followed by the correct MLA citation
Example:
• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland has
almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although
Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s
Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to
roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high
the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy,
including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young
customers, this park is fun for everyone.
Punctuating the quote
• Ms. Anderson said, “the quote will start with a
lower case letter if you lead into it”
(www.wikipedia.com).
• The period goes after the parenthesis.
• Unless already stated, the website should be in
parentheses after the quote.
• According to www.englishrocks.com, Ms.
Anderson yelled, “…and sit down everyone!”
• Use an ellipsis (…) to indicate extracted
information.
3. Explanation (Analysis)
• Your interpretation
• Explain how it supports your thesis statement (your argument)
• Describe what the quote reveals
Example:
• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland
has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.”
Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its
patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s
palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From
merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park
has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers.
While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers,
this park is fun for everyone.
Quote Sandwich…mmm…delicious!
Context
Quote
Explanation
• According to the website
www.about.com, “Disneyland has
almost 60 rides and a host of other
attractions.” Although Disneyland
offers exciting family fun for its
patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme
Park tops Mickey’s palace when it
comes to roller coaster offerings. From
merry-go-rounds to coaters high the
sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire
family can enjoy, including teenagers.
While Disneyland mostly caters to its
young customers, this park is fun for
everyone.
Practice Quote Blends
• “Legoland has 50 attractions in 10 themed
areas, including not-too-scary “pink
knuckle” rides, live shows and interactive
attractions.” –USA Today 10/14/11
• “There is a reason why when most people
think of “theme park” they think of Disney.”
–www.forbes.com
Checking for Understanding
1. What is a topic sentence?
2. What is a closing sentence?
3. How many pieces of evidence
should be in each body paragraph?
4. How many explanation sentences
per piece of evidence do you need?
Rubric Explanation
• 4 = 6 complete worksheets with signatures, all 6
annotated articles with signatures
• 3 = 5 complete worksheets with signatures, at least 5
annotated articles with signatures
• 2 = 4 complete worksheets with signatures, at least 4
annotated articles with signatures
• 1 = 3 or less complete worksheets with signatures, 3 or
less annotated articles with signatures
Please take out your first
essay draft.
Skill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA
Homework: Essay due tomorrow!, Journal
Song: “November Rain” by Guns & Roses – for the new month!
1.
2.
3.
When I say, “your paper must be typed in
MLA format,” what do I mean? **What does
MLA stand for?
List 3 MLA format rules. (Look for the MLA
handout!)
What is a Works Cited page?
ESSAY RUBRIC
Take notes on what you see!
Remember…
• Go beyond the confines of the
assignment. Consider broader issues,
make new connections, elaborate on the
significance of your findings.
• Conclusion should make your readers glad
they read the subject.
• Readers should take away something that
will help them see things in a different
way or appreciate things in personally
relevant ways.
STRATEGIES to
1.
2.
3.
4.
HELP
If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t
saying anything new or interesting, review it with
a friend. Read a a statement from your conclusion
and ask your friend to ask you, “So what?”
Return to the ideas in the introduction. Use
parallel concepts and images.
Show your reader how the points you made and
the support and examples you used fit together.
Pull it all together.
Propose a course of action, a solution, or
questions for further study.
STRATEGIES to
AVOID
Using unnecessary, overused phrases like,
“in conclusion,” or “in closing”
2. Ending with a rephrased thesis statement
without any major changes
3. Making sentimental, emotional appeals
4. Including evidence that should be in the
body of the paper
1.
Take out your essay and
company journal.
Skill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA
Homework: FINAL Essay, Journal Entry
Song: “Ticket to Ride” by The Beatles – for William 
Daily:
For the daily, complete the “Revising”
worksheet with honest, thoughtful
answers. Write in complete sentences
and take your time.
Avoiding Plagiarism
Proper citation of your
sources in MLA style can
help you avoid
plagiarism, which is a
serious offense. It may
result in anything from
failure of the assignment
to expulsion from school.
MLA Style: Two Parts
• Parenthetical
Citations
• Works Cited
Page
Parenthetical Citations
• At the end of each quotation (piece
of evidence) or paraphrased
sentence, you must include a
parenthetical citation.
• There are specific rules for
citations.
Parenthetical Citations
• Author known: (last name pg. #)
• Author unknown: (complete title name
pg. #)
• Page number unknown: (last name
only), (title name only)
• Title unknown: (organization name)
• Website: (shortened web address)
A Sample Works Cited Page
Smith 12
Works Cited
David Copperfield. 1849-1850. New York: Houghton Mifflin
Company, 1958.
Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. 1852-1853. New York: Penguin,
1985.
Miller, J. Hillis. Charles Dickens: The World and His Novels.
Bloomington: U of Indiana P, 1958.
Zwerdling, Alex. “Esther Summerson Rehabilitated.” PMLA 88 (May
1973): 429-439.
Highlight Check: Introduction
• Hook: Yellow
• Background Information (Bridge): Green
• TIP: Turn the essay prompt questions into descriptive
sentences.
• Benefactors want to invest their money into
successful projects. Innovation and creativity are key
to a worthwhile investment. In order to get
investors’ attention, the winning theme park must
be original and exciting.
• Thesis: Blue
• Do you have every sentence required?
• Put a STAR next to the sentences that need editing.
Highlight Check: Body Paragraphs
• Topic Sentence: Yellow
• Should introduce the topic of the paragraph.
• Example (1)
• Evidence/Quote: Blue
• Check for quote blends, quotation marks and
citations.
• Explanation (2-3): Green
• Closing/Transition: Yellow
• Are you missing sentences?
Highlight Check: Conclusion
• Restated Thesis: Blue
• Make sure the thesis is stated in NEW
words (not just copied and pasted from the
introduction)
• Final thoughts: Green
• “So what?” closing statement: Yellow
MLA FORMATTING
1”
Double spacing
everywhere…
Everywhere!
Your last Name & Page #
First and Last Name
Title is
centered.
1 inch margins
all around.
Typed within the
margin
Instructor’s last name only
Title of Course
Due date in Date Month Year format
12pt and
readable font
used
throughout
1”
1”
No extra
space between
paragraphs
Heading centered
1” from top of
page.
List is alphabetized
by authors’ last
names.
First line of each
entry is at left
margin; subsequent
lines are indented ½”
(tab or 5 spaces).
Double spacing
everywhere…
Everywhere!
How to cite your web sources
• Editor, author, or compiler name (if available). Name of Site.
Version number. Name of institution/organization affiliated
with the site (sponsor or publisher), date of resource creation
(if available). Medium of publication. Date of access.
• The Purdue OWL Family of Sites. The Writing Lab and
OWL at Purdue and Purdue U, 2008. Web. 23 Apr. 2008.
• Felluga, Dino. Guide to Literary and Critical Theory. Purdue
U, 28 Nov. 2003. Web. 10 May 2006.
• It is necessary to list your date of access because web
postings are often updated, and information available on one
date may no longer be available later. Be sure to include the
complete address for the site.
• Use n.p. if no publisher name is available and n.d. if no
publishing date is given.
PEER EDITING
Switch essays with someone from your company.
Take out your essay work
and company journal.
Skill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA
Homework: journal entry, annotated article
Song: “Headlines” by Drake – Masoud, Kassy, Joe 
Daily: Get ready to turn your essay work in.
Staple/paperclip in this order:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Final typed essay with Works Cited page
Rough drafts of essay
Peer edit sheet (if you did one)
Essay packet
Revising
Article Packet
Afterthoughts
An afterthought is a thorough reflection on the writing
process.
• Paragraph 1: Reflect on the amount of time the writing took
you and the process you went through in creating it.
• Paragraph 2: Reflect on the problems that you encountered
while writing, the revisions that you made, and the response
you received from others during editing.
• Paragraph 3: Write about what you learned from working on
this piece of writing, what you would do differently of you were
to do it again, what the strengths of the piece are, and what
you hope others appreciate about it.
Afterthoughts Example
This piece took me about two weeks to write from start to finish.
I began by brainstorming ideas, and then moved on to making a
complete outline. From there I wrote two drafts and received feedback
on both. Finally, I typed up the final draft with corrections.
The biggest problems that I encountered were with blending
my quotes well. I started out just putting the quotes in without
explaining them or writing the page number. It was really difficult to get
the hang of having to introduce the background information about the
quote before I wrote it in. My peer editing partner helped me find the
places where I could blend my quotes better and I was able to make
them a little bit better.
From working on this piece I learned that you really do need to
go back and make lots of changes to an essay before you turn in the
final draft. If I hadn’t made changes to my quotes, I might have failed
the essay. If I was going to write this essay again I would be sure to
follow the outline my teacher gave me and make sure that all my ideas
and quotes blend really well from the start. Even though I had trouble
with the quotes, I think that this essay has a really strong thesis
statement and hook that tie everything together. I hope that others
appreciate how effective my hook is and how well it works with the rest
of the essay.