Revisions and Formatting
And More! Working towards the FINAL DRAFT of your Essay!
Working Towards the Final Draft
• Today we will be focusing on revising your paper, as well as
answering your questions about correct formatting and MLA
citations.
• Although outsides sources were not strictly required for your
paper (you could write an angle on this paper from personal
experience alone) if you DID you outside sources to support
your claim (thesis) you must cite them
• How many of your ended up using outside sources?
• Even if you didn’t use any outside sources, you better listen up
and take notes today, because you will need to know this stuff for
the future!
Using Sources and Giving Credit
• You’ve found your sources, read them, took notes on them, and
you’re ready to use your sources in your essay.
• So… which quotes should you use?
• Quotes that contain ideas you want to respond to.
• Quotes where the original source’s wording is especially good or
important to your response.
• Quotes where the original source explains a complex idea clearly and
succinctly.
• Quotes that contain ideas that would make most people want proof.
• Any quote you use should have an explanation/response that is
TWICE AS LONG as the original quote. If a quote takes up two
full lines of your paper, the explanation/response to that quote
should take up FOUR.
Using Quotes
• Quotations give your interaction with the ideas of your
sources credibility.
• Choose quotes that support your claim, and be flexible. This
may change as you write.
• Frame your quotes using a “Quote Sandwich”
The “Quote Sandwich”
• This is a way to integrate quotes into your paper
smoothly and avoid drop-in quotes.
• The first piece of “bread”
• Introduce quote, possibly mention author, connect quote to
what you were saying before.
• The “Meat”
• Your quote, correctly cited with in-text citation.
• The second piece of “bread”
• Interpretation/explanation of quote (NOT simply rewording
the quote), connect quote to what you will say next.
Online Examples of Quote Sandwiches
• http://www.csun.edu/~hflrc006/quote.html
• https://sites.google.com/site/sasamtani/quote_san
dwich003.jpg
• Notice that both of these examples make the quote a
part of a sentence the essay author wrote, and notice
that both examples give credit to the source’s author.
MLA Format
• MLA Format is a system for giving credit to the
sources that you use, either by paraphrase or direct
quote
• MLA Formatting has two main parts:
1. A Works Cited page at the end of your essay
• Your Work Cited page lists every source you used in
alphabetical order by the last name of the author. Each works
cited entry must contain specific information in a specific order.
2. Parenthetical citations in the body (main text) of your essay.
• Also known as In-Text Citations
• After each paraphrase or quote that you did not write or think
of yourself, you must indicate which source you are using in
order to avoid plagiarism.
MLA Guide in Your Textbook
• You can find the chapter on MLA citation in your
textbook, The Little Penguin Handbook (LPH) in
Chapter 14 (the blue section)
• If you read this section carefully, almost ALL of
your MLA questions will be answered.
MLA In-Text Citations
In the body of your paper, wherever you either quote a source or
summarize/paraphrase ideas that are not your own, you MUST let
your reader know where the information came from. The way
to do this is to have a CITATION at the end of the information
from your source.
• Why have citations?
• 1. To let your readers know where you got ideas that were
not your own.
• 2. To allow your reader to look up your source if they so
desire.
• 3. In writing your paper, you are part of a community of
writers and thinkers, and you want to show the authors of
your sources the proper respect. Failing to do this is
considered plagiarism.
In-Text Citations: Two Ways
• Author name mentioned in the body of the essay:
• If you have already mentioned the name of the author in the
body of your paper, and it is obvious that you are quoting that
specific author, all you need at the end of your quote is the page
number you are taking the quote from.
• Author name not mentioned in the body of the essay:
• If you have not already mentioned the author’s name in your
paper, you must include the last name of the author and the page
number in the parentheses.
• Sometimes, you will have to cite a work that has no author. This is
the case with many web articles. So, in this case, you will use the
title of the article or the first three words of the title if it is long.
How to Avoid Drop-in or “Orphan” Quotes
One of the risk factors for heart disease is alcohol
consumption. The American Heart Association
website states, “drinking too much alcohol can raise
blood pressure, cause heart failure and lead to
stroke” (Jones, 2).
Notice that the quote is a part of a sentence written by
the author of the paper.
Adding “(Insert source name here) states” to the
beginning of a quotation is a quick, easy way to fix
drop-in quotes, though you are encouraged to use
the “quote sandwich” method as well.
To Cite, or Not to Cite
• You do not have to cite facts that are undisputed common
knowledge.
• Ex: The Battle of Gettysburg began on July 1, 1863.
• Ex: Water is made up of two hydrogen atoms and one
oxygen atom.
• Ex: Dublin is the capital of the Republic of Ireland.
• However, once you start needing to use ideas about these
common, everyday facts that you found in your sources,
you must cite the source of the idea.
• When in doubt, cite! And if you have time, ask!
Three Basic Rules for Avoiding
Plagiarism:
1. Make sure all word-for-word quotes have quote
marks showing where they begin and end. Also,
make sure to make the difference between your
ideas and your sources’ ideas clear when
paraphrasing.
2. Identify where each quote OR paraphrased idea
came from in the body of your paper using intext citations.
3. Make sure that each source you quote or
paraphrase in your paper is correctly listed on
your Works Cited page.
Some Myths about Plagiarism
• Myth 1: As long as I have a source on my works cited page, I
don’t have to mention the source in the body of my paper.
• WRONG! Any time you use ideas or words from a source, you
must include an in-text citation.
• Myth 2: As long as I change one or two words in a quote, I
don’t have to put quote marks around it or do a citation.
• WRONG! Changing one or two words in a quote and replacing
them with synonyms is STILL PLAGIARISM if you keep the
original ideas and/or sentence structure.
• Myth 3: As long as I paraphrase correctly, using my own words
and sentence structure to express an idea, I don’t need an intext citation.
• WRONG! Even if you use your own words, if the idea originally
came from somewhere else, you must cite it.
Myths about Plagiarism
• Myth 4: I don’t need to cite exact words, ideas or
information I find on the internet.
• WRONG! Treat your internet sources with the same
respect you have for your print or online database
sources.
• Myth 5: It is appropriate to use an old essay from a friend,
buy an essay, or have someone help me write an essay
using his or her wording instead of mine.
• WRONG! All of these are called collusion, and they are all
plagiarism.
• Myth 6: I won’t get caught if I plagiarize.
• WRONG! Plagiarism is quite obvious to most professors,
and many of them use plagiarism detecting software.
Guidelines for Correctly Citing Sources:
• ALWAYS enclose words that are not your own in
quotes.
• ALWAYS make a quote the part of your own
sentence.
• ALWAYS have an author or article name and page
number in parentheses after the quote.
• ALWAYS give credit to authors whose ideas you
use, even if you are not quoting them directly.
• ALWAYS make sure that the quote is sufficiently
introduced and in context.
Don’t Forget! Other Essay Basics
• Type and print all of your essay assignments
• Always include assignment information (heading) on the left hand
side!
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Your Name: Firstname Lastname
Class: English 101
Professor: Lawson (last name only is ok)
Assignment and Draft: Essay 1 Final Draft
Date: Day/Month/Year
Word Count:
• Add Last Name and page number [show how]
• Formatting Paragraphs [show how]
• Formatting Works Cited page [show how]
Questions So Far?
Break Time!
• Please return in 15-20 minutes.
How Your Final Drafts will be Graded:
• Format (10 points)
– Does the paper have a title and required information?
– Does it follow all formatting instructions about margins, font, and spacing?
• Organization (20 points)
– Does the student appropriately break the essay into paragraphs?
– Are paragraphs organized around a controlling idea?
• Writing Process (10 points)
– Does the paper show signs of good, thoughtful revision?
– Did the student turn in a rough draft and participate in peer review?
• Description, Support, and Thesis (50 points)
– Does the paper use description, details, and other forms of evidence to effectively
support the main point (thesis)? Is the thesis specific, arguable, and appropriate to the
assignment?
• Proofreading/Presentation (10 points)
– Is the paper neat and free of errors? Does it have all required papers?
Total – 100 points
Review the Basic Parts of an Essay
• First Paragraph: Introduction
• The purpose of an introduction is to set your
reader up for the rest of the essay:
• Catch your reader’s attention, and get them
interested in the topic.
• Give the some BREIF background on the topic if
they need it to understand your main idea.
• Give them your main idea (thesis) that you will be
expanding on and supporting in the rest of the essay.
The Thesis
• The Thesis of your paper is the main idea (topic) of your
paper PLUS the claim (argument) you are making about
that idea
• [Open Thesis Document]
Body Paragraphs
• This is the main part of your essay.
• This is where you expand on your topic and support you
thesis with vivid description, background and
explanations, and reflection on the significance of the
events you are describing.
• Organize your body paragraphs so that each body
paragraph has a main point that connects to the main
point (thesis) of your entire essay.
• Make sure that the paragraphs are organized in a logical
manner. Remember: you can move your paragraphs
around!
Conclusion
• The purpose of a conclusion is to conclude your essay in
a way that lets your reader understand in a BREIF
FORM what they have just read.
• Imagine it this way: You have just taken your reader on a
journey in your essay. The purpose of the intro is to give
your reader a mental "map" or preview of where you are
going to take them.
• BUT the purpose of the conclusion is to emphasize the
basic essential points you want them to walk away with.
What do you really want them to remember and think
about AFTER they are finished reading? THAT is the
purpose of a conclusion.
The Basic Steps when Writing an Essay
Step 1: Know what is required of you.
• Read and re-read your prompt until you
understand fully what is being asked of
you.
• If you don’t understand, ask you professor to clarify
EARLY ON. If you ask the day before the essay is
due, IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE.
• Know the minimum requirements and take
them seriously.
• These include: page length or word count, format,
works cited/research required. ALL DUE DATES.
Step 2: Brainstorm and Freewrite
• Write down everything you know or think you know about
the topic.
• Then, write down questions you have about the topic.
• Then, write down your ideas about how to make the
prompt/topic specific and personal to you. What’s your
angle?
• Freewrite
• Do idea bubbles
• Lists/Outlines
Step 3: Write a Draft
• Don’t leave your writing until the last minute.
• Even if your teacher does not require you to turn in a
rough draft like I do, it is always a good idea to write
a rough draft.
• Here is the basic truth: no matter what, you will
write a rough draft.
• The question is: will you be turning that draft as your
final product, or will you have time to make it better?
Step 4: Revise!
• This is our current step.
• Get out your textbooks to read these revision
guidelines and put them into action!
Revision Guidelines
• Revising your work is an important part of the
writing process. Every paper has the potential to
be a fine piece of writing, but only after being
polished and perfected.
• After you have written a first draft and gotten
feedback from your peers, it is time to revise.
• What exactly is revision? What am I expecting
you to do when you revise? These guidelines will
hopefully give you direction as you revise your
work.
Part 1: What a Revision Is Not:
• A revision is NOT turning in an unmarked copy of
your rough draft.
• A revision is NOT only correcting one or two
grammar mistakes.
• A revision is NOT adding one or two sentences onto
the end of your draft.
• If you turn in a revision to me that does any of these
things, it is not a true revision, and you will have points
taken away from the "writing process" section of your
assignment grade.
Part 2: What a Revision Is
• A revision makes changes that require you to
delete, change, and add phrases and sentences
throughout the assignment. In fact, a revision
may require you to completely rewrite large
sections of your assignment.
• A revision tries to fix problems with details and
confusing sentences that your peers and your
instructor pointed out.
• A revision corrects grammar and spelling
mistakes that you find.
Detail/Description
• Write about things you SEE:
• Don’t ignore your senses. Engage your reading by describing
things.
• Write about things you HEAR:
• Detail and description. Make the reader feel like they are in the
moment with you.
• Write about the things you FEEL:
• Emotional reactions can reveal a lot about our identities and the
society we live in.
• Write about WHAT HAPPENED:
• Even small events can have great significance if analyzed in detail.
Think about how small events impacted you in the long term and
how similar events impact people like you in our society.
Textbook Work: page 18-20
• Identifying a Thesis
• Underline what you believe is your thesis. Then read through this
section and ask yourself if your thesis is focused enough.
• What you have underlined may actually be a lead-in sentence to your
real thesis statement which you have yet to write.
• Supporting a Thesis and Organizing Content
• Look at your paragraphs individually. Does each one have a focus
or a specific point it is trying to make?
• Look at how your paragraphs connect to each other. Are they in
the right order? Do they transition clearly? (See “Connecting the
Pieces” on the next page)
Textbook Work: page 20-21
• Review your conclusion
• Review your title – specific to your topic/paper NOT
“Essay 1” or “Pop Culture”
• Read and follow the advice is “Revising the Paper” and
“Editing the Paper” on page 21
• Start work now! Make a plan for what you will change and
where when you get home. If at all possible, start writing
on your paper and making those changes/notes now!
Changes to MyWritingLab
• Many of your have been having trouble with MWL.
• I have done some investigating, and this is partly
because MWL is set up to guide you through
everything based on the results of your Path Builder
Test.
• Even thought I tried to get around this by only
requiring certain sections of certain modules, MWL
is denying some of you access to all modules.
MyWritingLab Changes
SO: Here is what we are going to do:
• No more required sections of MWL.
• Instead, focus on the areas MWL says you need to
work on, as well as those areas you think you should
review.
• I will give you between 25--75 *extra credit* points,
depending on how much you accomplish in MWL.
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