Everyone
plays a
part.
Anti-bullying!
How to be an
effective
bystander.
Eyes on
Bullying
What’s
your
role?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related
Bullying is.......
.
Bullying is.......
Stay Cool
Smart people know when to walk away.
This is how you can do it:
• Stop looking at them. Don’t give them eye contact. Look at someone or something
else.
• Try to keep all expressions off your face. Look normal. Keep a ‘blank’ expression.
• Turn your body away.
• Do something else or talk to others near you.
• If the person keeps annoying you, STAY COOL and WALK AWAY in a calm manner.
Don’t run.
• If they follow you and keep giving you a hard time, STOP and use another strategy.
• e.g. ‘ Use I statements.’
Smart people stay cool.
This is how you can do it:
•
Remember not to look at them. Don’t give them eye contact. Look
at someone or something else.
•
Try to keep all expressions off your face.
•
•


Look normal. Keep a ‘blank’ expression.
Do something else or talk to others near you. Don’t talk, argue or
insult back, the person hassling you.
Try hard not to get upset, angry or anxious. Remain calm.
If they keep hassling you, try another strategy. E.g. Walk away.
Smart people stand tall
This is how you can do it:
Using ‘I’ statements helps to give the other
person a clear message about how you feel when
they are hassling you.
Look at the person and say:
o“When you......... e.g. call me names”
o“ I feel ..........angry, sad, upset etc.”
o“ I would like you to........e.g. stop calling me
names.
Remember to stay cool and calm. Use a calm, firm
voice. Keep your body relaxed, stand up tall and
straight and use good eye contact.
Stay Cool.
Smart people use a strong voice
This is how you can do it:
It is the behaviour you do not like not the person.
Use confident and assertive responses to name the behaviour
Speak in a firm but not angy voice.
Stand tall.
Look at the person without expression. (non threatening)
Stay in control of yourself.
Look at the person and say.
‘What you are doing is bullying. Choose to stop now or I
will have to go and see.......’
(name an adult)
Stay Cool.
Smart people learn to say stop!
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
This is how you can do it:
Sometimes it is hard to resist pressure from your classmates.
Say ‘STOP IT. I DON’T LIKE IT. GO AWAY’ in a confident and
calm voice.
Do not lecture or nag the other person.
Do not change your mind if you know the behaviour is wrong.
Be friendly but firm. Stay cool.
Talk to an adult if you have a problem.
Act Responsibly, Be Respectful, Think Smart.
What is a bystander?
A bystander is someone who sees the bullying situation.
Bystanders may act in many different ways.
A bystander might:
•Watch what is going on and not get involved.
•Pretend not to see and ignore the situation.
•Choose to get involved in the bullying.
•Choose to get involved and stop the bullying
•Choose to get help.
As bystanders, the way children behave
can either support or help to stop bullying.
Many children don’t know how to help
the person being bullied.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvhIdB_8WXE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC1EyWIU1tI&feature=related
I’m just a
bully.
But it’s all
in fun!
I was there. I saw what
they were doing to him
and I didn’t do anything. I
could have told someone
and he might not have
been hurt.
Being
bullied is
never fun
– it hurts
Has this ever
happened to
you in the
playground or
on the bus?
DISCUSS
Bullying Actions and Victim Responses
Look Around…
The Victim Activity.
Bullying (Provoking)
Giving In
(Submissive)
Hurting Back
(Aggressive)
Standing Up
(Assertive)
Bully roughly cuts in
line in front of Victim.
Victim steps back,
puts head down, and
says nothing.
Victim shoves Bully
out of line and says,
“You jerk!”
Victim stands tall and
says, “This is my
place. No cutting
allowed.”
Bully grabs a candy
bar that Victim is
holding. “Give me
that!”
Victim lets Bully take
the candy bar and
timidly says, “O.K.”
Victim screams and
kicks Bully
Victim firmly holds on
to the candy bar and
says, “Sorry, but this
is mine.”
Bully laughs and
points at Victim
and chants, “Loser,
Loser, Loser!”
Victim looks upset
and starts to cry.
Victim angrily replies, Victim calmly looks at
“Your mother is ugly.” Bully and says,
“You’re just wasting
your breath trying to
make me mad.”
Bully whispers to
pals, “If you want
to be my friend, you
can’t play with (name
of Victim).”
Victim finds out, sits
alone at a table and
says, “I guess I have
to eat by myself.”
Victim finds out and
tells a nasty rumor
about Bully.
Bully tells Victim,
“You stink on first
base. I’m taking over.
Out of my way,
stupid.”
Victim says, “Sorry
I messed up,” and
hands his glove to
the Bully.
Victim shouts, “Who
Victim stays on base
are you calling stupid, and says, “I’m playing
you big moron!”
first base for the rest
of the game.”
Victim talks privately
with Bully and says,
“I know you’re talking
about me behind my
back, and I don’t like
it.”
Bystanders can be our best ally
to prevent bullying or our worst
enemy to promote bullying
Activity:
Look Around…The Bystander
Bystander Quiz
WHICH OF THESE STATEMENTS IS TRUE?
1 Bystanders are usually watching when kids get bullied.
True
False
2 Most kids who watch bullying feel uncomfortable.
True
False
3 Most kids who watch bullying do nothing to try to stop it.
True
False
4 Kids who silently watch bullying usually make
things worse.
True
False
5 Kids who laugh at or cheer on bullying usually make
things worse.
True
False
6 Kids who try to stop the bullying often make things better.
True
False
7 Sometimes grownups don’t stop bullying because they
don’t see it happen, don’t hear about it, or don’t
understand how much it hurts.
True
False
8 Both kids and adults can learn to become helpful
bystanders who stop bullying.
True
False
Bystander Quiz Explanatory Statements
Recent research provides evidence for each statement.
1 True Child bystanders were present in 85% or more of the bullying incidents in
observation studies of children in playgrounds and classrooms.
2 True Between 80% and 90% of bystanders reported that watching bullying was
unpleasant and made them feel uncomfortable. Many children also felt they should step in to help a child
who was being bullied.
3 True Bystanders stood up for the victim only 10% to 19% of the time. Instead,
bystanders acted as silent witnesses 54% of the time and joined the bullying with words or actions 21% of the
time.
4 True Even when bystanders simply watched bullying without trying to stop it, they made
things worse by providing an audience for the bully. Bullying lasted longer when more bystanders were
present and when bystanders did nothing to stop it.
5 True When bystanders laughed at or cheered on bullying, they encouraged the bullying to continue.
6 True When bystanders intervened to stand up for the victim, they were successful in stopping the bullying
more than 50% of the time—usually within the first 10 seconds.
7 True Adults are often not aware of bullying because it usually happens in areas with little or no adult
supervision, such as bathrooms, hallways, playgrounds, cafeterias. However, even when adults directly
witness bullying, they often overlook or minimize its harmful effects. In playground observations, adults
intervened in only 4% of the bullying incidents they witnessed.
8 True When children and adults learn, practice, and use effective ways for bystanders
to stop bullying, incidents of bullying can be significantly reduced.
Students who bully are encouraged when you
• Watch them
• laugh at what they do
• Join in
• When you do nothing
Being a bystander to bullying
When bullying is happening and you are there, then you have four
choices.
1. Stand and watch
If something is happening, it is normal for people to go and see
what is going on.
If someone is being hurt by one or more people, it is normal to
feel:
•curious – why, what is this about?
•excited – other people's emotions can be 'catching'.
•afraid – what if that person being hurt was me?
Standing and watching someone get hurt puts you on the same side
as the bully.
If you are not helping the victim, then you are giving your
support to the bully. Do you want to do that?
"Sometimes it's hard to do anything because the bully could pick on
you. You have to get other people to support you" –
2. Support the bully
Everyone likes to feel powerful at times, but supporting a bully is
not the way to go.
There are other reasons why someone might takes sides with a
bully.
Helping a bully to hurt someone is misusing your power.
How would you feel if you were the victim?
"I joined in because I was scared. I felt bad after that.
Someone was hurt and I had helped" –
3. Get away from there
It is normal to think:
I don't want to get involved.
I don't want to be hurt.
They probably deserved it anyway.
Keeping out of trouble is best.
Getting away from bullying will keep you safe.
Once again, it is the bully who wins.
By going away you are in effect telling the bully that what he is
doing is OK with you – that you don't care if the victim is being
hurt.
Is that what you believe? What if next time the victim is you?
Be an active bystander
If someone is being hurt, it is normal to want to help
that person. But look at the situation carefully
before you act.
It's important to keep yourself safe.
•You may try to stop it happening by saying
something and getting others to say something.
•You may go to help the victim.
•You may try pulling the bully or bullies away,
•but only if it is safe for you to do so.
•You may try getting help – for example, asking others to
help or getting a teacher or other authority figure to come
and stop the bullying.
•You may offer to act as a mediator – someone who listens
to both sides and tries to help resolve the conflict.
What to do to help someone who is being bullied.
Don’t stand by
STAND UP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCd6V6cejEQ
W
hat If?
What Would Happen If?
Bullies like to set the rules and they expect them to be followed. But what would
happen if the rules changed: if a victim didn’t accept his or her punishment, or a
bystander did more than stand by?
This activity is designed to help both victims and bystanders end the bullying game, by
finding new ways to respond to the bully. It empowers children to change the rules, see
available options, and appreciate how their actions can make a difference.
1. Pick the story that is most appropriate for your group.
2. Read it aloud.
3. Ask children to discuss What would happen if . . . ?
What sort of bullying might this be?
What do you think is happening here?
How does this type of bullying make you feel?
What could an active bystander do?
Can you act this out?
What sort of bullying might this be?
What do you think is happening here?
How does this type of bullying make you feel?
What could an active bystander do?
Can you act this out?
What sort of bullying might this be?
What do you think is happening here?
How does this type of bullying make you feel?
What could an active bystander do?
Can you act this out?
http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related
“Understanding Through Communication”
ACT RESPONSIBLY
Take responsibility for your words and actions.
Be prepared to learn.
Put your best effort into your work.
All equipment organised and ready.
BE RESPECTFUL
Negotiate a solution to problems.
Be kind with your words and use your manners.
Follow staff instructions.
Wear school uniform with pride.
Respect the rights of others to learn.
Respect the property and belongings of others.
Be considerate of the point of view of others.
Right place, Right time.
Move sensibly and safely.
Keep the school environment clean and tidy.
Follow sun safety rules.
Ask for help when you need it.
Manage your time.
Manage your behaviour.
THINK SMART