1)Hook
2)Mention author and title of work
3)Two to three sentences which discuss
the character generally
4)Thesis statement : for this example,
indicates that the essay will cover both
strengths and weaknesses.
Go
A)
B)
C)
This essay will be about Okonkwo in Things
Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.
The book is called Things Fall Apart by Chinua
Achebe.
In the novel, Things Fall Apart, Chinua
Achebe introduces his main character,
Okonkwo.
A
B
C
In the novel, Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
introduces his main character, Okonkwo.
This sentence correctly introduces the title,
the author and the subject matter. It does not
use the “purpose” statements of the previous
examples nor does it use the words “essay”,
“topic” or “paper”.
Next
A. Okonkwo’s a really good guy, he’s just
misunderstood a lot. He is described in many
different ways.
B. In spite of his father being a failure, Okonkwo
starts working hard and sets goals for himself so
he will not end up like his father. He wants to be
prosperous and works hard to gain this, but
does not always make the best choices.
A
B
Okonkwo’s a really good guy, he’s just misunderstood a
lot. He is described in many different ways.
This sentence is too informal for formal essay writing.
It commits a comma splice and uses contractions.
The first sentence is too vague to be specific to
Okonkwo (it could be a statement about anyone) and
the second sentence also does not help the reader
understand more about Okonkwo’s personality.
Back

In spite of his father being a failure, Okonkwo starts working
hard and sets goals for himself so he will not end up like his
father. He wants to be prosperous and works hard to gain this,
but does not always make the best choices.
These sentences show a good understanding of Okonkwo in
general. They offer general motivation for his actions ( his
father’s failure) and hints at his positive qualities . The second
sentence does a good job of hinting at his weaknesses, and thus
preparing the reader for the thesis statement.
Next
A)
B)
C)
He is strong and hardworking, but he is also
violent and very impatient.
His strengths are that he is strong and
hardworking and his weaknesses are that he
is violent and very impatient.
I’ll talk to you about his strengths and
weaknesses.
A
B
C
He is strong and hardworking, but he is also
violent and very impatient.
This is a good thesis; it states both strengths
and weaknesses and is simple and to the
point!
Next
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
Topic sentence: both strengths stated
Introduce quotation and then insert
quotation
Explain how quotation supports your point
State second strength.
Introduce quotation and then insert
quotation
Explain how quotation supports your point
Go
A. One of his strengths is that he is strong.
B. He has a lot of strengths.
C. Okonkwo is both strong and hardworking.
A
B
C
One of his strengths is that he is strong.
This topic sentence only states one of the
strengths. Because you’re talking about two,
the topic sentence needs to mention both.
Back
He has a lot of strengths.
This thesis does not actually mention the two
strengths. It is too vague to be a strong topic
sentence.
Back
Okonkwo is both strong and hardworking.
This topic sentence is perfect; it is short but
also mentions both strengths.
Next
a)
b)
c)
The following quote, “he had brought honor
to his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat”
(Achebe 3) proves he is strong.
In the book it says, “he had brought honor to
his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat.”
While still quite young, “he had brought
honor to his village by throwing Amalinze the
Cat” (Achebe 3).
A
B
C
The following quote, “he had brought honor to
his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat”
(Achebe 3) proves he is strong.
It is not good practice to write “the following
quote”. It is not a smooth quotation
integration. You should also not use the word
‘prove’ with literature.
Back
In the book it says, “he had brought honor to
his village by throwing Amalinze the Cat.”
First, you should use the word “novel”, not
“book”. Also, you will notice “it” doesn’t
actually refer to anything and is a vague
reference. It’s also missing the parenthetical
reference (last name of author plus page
number in parenthesis).
Back
While still quite young, “he had brought
honor to his village by throwing Amalinze the
Cat” (Achebe 3).
This is a good introduction to the quotation
because it offers context (information about
the quotation) and is still a complete thought
with the quotation.
Next
A) This quote proves that Okonkwo is strong.
B) Okonkwo’s strength is proved due to the fact
that he beat Amalinze.
C) Okonkwo’s ability to beat a famous wrestler
at a young age shows how he has great
physical strength.
A
B
C
His strengths are that he is strong and
hardworking and his weaknesses are that he is
violent and very impatient.
While this is an acceptable thesis, it is needlessly
wordy with the words “strengths” and “weaknesses.”
Good writing is simple.
Back
This quote proves that Okonkwo is strong.
Notice that this explanation does not actually
explain why the quotation illustrates Okonkwo’s
strength. The writer leaves it up to the reader to
figure out why. The writer also used “proves”
which is not an appropriate term for English ( you
can “prove” a math equation, but not a literary
opinion).
Back
Okonkwo’s strength is proved due to the fact
that he beat Amalinze.
While this is slightly better than the first explanation, it
does not explain very well; why does beating Amalinze
illustrate his strength? Also, the phrase, “due to the fact”
is unnecessarily complicated and should be simpler.
Back
Okonkwo’s ability to beat a famous wrestler at a
young age shows how he has great physical
strength.
This explanation points out the context of the
quotation and show how it supports Okonkwo
is strong. It also avoids seeming repetitive by
writing “strength” instead of “strong”.
Next
4) State second strength.
5) Introduce quotation and then insert quotation
6) Explain how quotation supports your point
After you state the second strength, you repeat
the previous process: introduce the quotation,
insert the quotation, and explain how the
quotation supports your point.
Next
I’ll talk to you about his strengths and
weaknesses.
This thesis uses first person (never used in formal
essays) and does not mention the strengths or
weaknesses. It is too informal and sounds as if the
writer is “chatting” with us.
Back
The book is called Things Fall Apart by Chinua
Achebe.
Like Sentence A, this sentence lacks creativity and imagination. The
purpose of the “hook” is to draw the reader in. This sentence not
only incorrectly calls it a “book” instead of a NOVEL, it does not
really help the reader understand what the essay will be about!
Back
This essay will be about Okonkwo in Things Fall
Apart by Chinua Achebe
This opening “hook” is too obvious a purpose statement. It
is neither interesting nor does it grab the reader’s
attention. The purpose of the “hook” is to draw the reader
in with a thought-provoking idea. Just stating what the essay
will do lacks imagination and interest.
Back
You’d follow the exact same procedure: state
both weaknesses, introduce a quotation and
then insert the quotation, and then explain it.
State the second weakness, introduce the
quotation and then insert the quotation, and
then explain it.
For the conclusion, it is always best to avoid “I”.
Many of you put “I think______ will happen”
when you could simply have put “_______ will
happen because_____.” Using I, you or we is not
appropriate for formal writing.