Chapter 6
Gaining Self Awareness
A bird that sings does not sing
because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
Chinese Proverb
Recognizing when you are off course
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First, you accept personal responsibility.
Then, you chose personal motivations, goals, and
dreams that offer you purpose and direction.
Next, you create a self management plan and
began taking effective actions.
You develop supportive relationships.
All along, you have believe in yourself.
How are you still off course?
Ask yourself the following questions
1. What habits do I have that sabotage my
success?
2. What beliefs do I have that get me off
course?
3. How can I consistently make wise choices
that will create a rich, personally fulfilling
life?
What is self sabotage?
• When we make choices that go against our
goals and dreams.
• By the time we realize that this has happened,
it may be to late to get back on course.
Unconscious Forces
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Daily influences from past experiences that influence your daily choices.
You do not even realize that it is going on.
Our brains record just about every experience that we have ever had. Our brains
can re-experience events in vivid detail that we thought we had long forgotten.
Amygala stores emotionally charged events in our unconscious memory.
The amygala makes connections and compares present situations and past
circumstances. When a connection is made from the past, without our conscious
knowledge, the alarmed amygala hijacks our rational thought process and
demands that we react the same way the we did the last time.
Our response can be totally inappropriate to what is happening currently.
By the time the amygala loosens it grips, we have made a bad choice.
Since this is unconscious, how do we spot those sabotaging influences?
We have to identify the invisible forces that get us off course. It is difficult since
these invisible forces are at work in our unconscious minds. This self awareness
allows us to identify the self sabotaging choices and replace them with wiser
choices that will get you back on course or keep you there.
Scripts
Eric Berne-psychologist
• Words, actions, and emotions
• We must become aware of our scripts so that
at the fork in the road we can make decisions
that keep us on course and not off.
Types of scripts
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2.
Thought patterns-habitual self talk either positive or negative
Emotional patterns-habitual feelings such as anger, excitement,
anxiety, joy, sadness.
3. Behavior patterns-habitual patterns such as smoking, arriving on
time, exercising.
When you know someone well enough to predict what they will say or
how they will react you recognize/understand their thought
patterns.
4. Core beliefs-at a young age we form our core beliefs about the
world, other people, and ourselves.
These core beliefs dictate our unconscious judgments about how we
think, feel and act. These beliefs dictate the choices we make at
the fork in the road.
Scripts
Emotional
Core Beliefs
Thought Patterns
Behavior
Patterns
How/Why did we write our scripts the
way we did?
1. The way other people respond(ed) to us.
• The world is kind and I am lovable
• The world is not kind and I am not lovable
• The world is dangerous
• Just think how these get your off course so
easily.
How/Why did we write our scripts the
way we did?
2.What significant adults had to say to us.
Our attributions- kind, quiet, mean, rebellious,
dominant, invisible.
Injunctions tell us what we “are not” or “should
not be.” Includes primarily don’t
How/Why did we write our scripts the
way we did?
3. Observing the behavior of significant adults
We learn our personal and cultural scripts.
Watch a child playing and what do you notice? They are
behaving as the adults around them.
The lens that we see the world through is based on our
culture.
When under stress we refer to our scripts for guidance.
The scripts we developed in childhood are not
appropriate for the adult world and challenges.
The million dollar questions is: Do my habitual habits help
or hinder me in the pursuit of the life I want to create?
Self defeating habits
• P. 156 & 157
• Pay attention to outdated habits that may get
you off course.
• Most of these patterns are mental, emotional,
or behavioral.
• Must believe in self in order to change the
cycle of habits that might potentially or always
get you off course.
Rewrite the outdated script
• Get rid of limits and see the stars/heavens as the
only limit of you achieving your dreams.
• Identifying the self-defeating patterns you can
rewrite your script to stay on course.
• Most of us sabotage ourselves through our
emotions, behaviors, and thoughts.
• When our script is rewritten we then can change the
outcomes of our lives for the better.
• What are our core beliefs about ourselves?
Self-Awareness at Work
• Conscious career planning, established through prioritizing
time to research career options.
• Hard skills are the skills that get you the job and soft skills are
the reason you may lose the job. Soft skills are what this book
is about. How you cope with your problems. These soft skills
are the ones that are invisible to most of our coworkers. Be
sure to match your soft skills with the requirements for the
job.
• Personal preference can be identified in the career counseling
center by taking a test or two such as Strong Interest
Inventories, Self-Directed Search, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator,
Holland Code.
Holland Code
Dr. John Holland
• One of six personality types and possible careers for
each.
• Shows that people tend to be satisfied in careers that
are compatible with their personality type, and are
less satisfied when the match isn’t there.
1. Realistic- involve objects, tools, and machines.
Career- mechanic, electrician, comp. repair, civil
engineer, forester, teacher, dental tech., farmer,
carpenter.
2. Investigative- abstract problem solving and
exploring physical, biological, and cultural
phenomena to understand and control them.
Careers- chemist, economist, detective, comp.
analyst, doctor, astronomer, mathematician.
• 3. Artistic- prefer activities involving selfexpression, using words, ideas, or materials,
to create art forms or new concepts.
• Careers- writer, advertising manager, public
relations specialist, artist, musician, graphic
designer, interior decorator, inventor.
• 4. Social- prefer activities involving interaction
with other people to inform, train, develop,
help, or enlighten them.
• Careers- nurse, massage therapist, teacher,
counselor, social workers, day-care provider,
physical therapist.
• 5. Enterprising- prefer activities involving the
persuasion and management of other to
attain organizational goals or economic gain.
• Career- sales, television newscaster, bank
manager, lawyer, travel agent, personal
manager, entrepreneur.
• 6. Conventional- prefer activities involving the
persuasion and management of others to
attain organizational goals or economic gain.
• Careers-accountant, comp. operator,
secretary, credit manager, financial planner.
Additional info. Regarding scripts
• Scripts regarding self knowledge can either
support your success or not.
• Understanding your personality and interests
improves your chances of finding a satisfying
career match.
• Know your beliefs- what you value and what
you do not
Believing in yourself
Write your own rules
• Three rules of success
1.Show up2.Do my best work
3.Participate actively
You intend to do your very best everyday to be
the best you can be for yourself and others.
Additional rules
• Keep promises to myself and others.
• Seek feedback and make course corrections when
appropriate.
• Arrive on time.
• Do my very best work on all projects important to
me.
• I care for my body with exercise, healthy food, and
good medical care.
• If you follow them regularly, they will become second
nature and a part of you.