MARRIAGE
Increasingly in the
developed world
research suggests that
what most couples are
looking for is…
a SOUL-MATE
A SOUL-MATE is
someone with whom I can share a deep,
intimate, loving relationship and have children
A SOUL-MATE MARRIAGE
IS DIFFICULT TO ATTAIN
BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE
There is today too much
emphasis on happiness
as a kind of entitlement,
rather than on the hard
work needed to sustain
a successful marriage
But couples who work to
improve their
communication skills are
much more likely to stay
(happily) married
FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE…
All couples experience
problems in their relationship.
But working through them
together brings you closer as a
couple, strengthens your
relationship and keeps you
together.
The soul-mate idea of marriage fits in very well
with what the Church says about marriage.
It is…
a vocation
a covenant
a sacrament
A VOCATION
That’s a calling from
God
A COVENANT
That’s an unconditional
commitment
A SACRAMENT
That’s a sign of God’s
unconditional love
Marriage is GOD’s idea
- not ours
It’s a VOCATION:
a call from God
It’s the call God gave to
every couple from
the beginning,
“It is not good for man to be alone.”
“God made them male and female.”
“Increase and multiply and fill
the earth and make it yours.”
as this text shows:
So God had two purposes in
mind when creating us:
COMPANIONSHIP
and PROCREATION
Each person is called to love.
Jesus said:
“What GOD has joined together
let no man put asunder”
God’s command to love applies
to everyone.
God calls EVERY couple into a
lifelong loving relationship in which
He wishes them to experience the
joy of companionship.
God gives them the tremendous
privilege
of sharing with Him in the continuing
work of creation
It’s a call to live in an
INTER-dependent
relationship
It is normal for every relationship
to go through cycles of...
ROMANCE,
DISILLUSIONMENT
and JOY
In disillusionment there is a danger
that we will revert to our earlier way of
living...living like a single person
IN-dependent rather than
INTER-dependent
Living as ‘MARRIED SINGLES’
We don’t have to stay in
disillusionment.
There is a remedy: to choose to
love.
TO LOVE IS A
DECISION
We have a choice
We can refuse to share our feelings
OR...
We can choose to rise above them,
with the possibility of once again
experiencing the JOY of a
close relationship
COVENANTS - both parties make a solemn
commitment to
a certain course of action
and in return
receive certain benefits
or blessings
For Christians,
marriage is a
covenant of
UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE
God’s covenant love is
UNCONDITIONAL
He calls us to RESPOND in love
Jesus added a new dimension to loving:
“Love one another
as I have loved you,” He said
JESUS’ death on the Cross is THE sign
- the greatest evidence of God’s
unconditional covenant love for us
It has brought countless benefits
to mankind
Each person must freely
consent to the marriage
There must be no
impediments to the marriage.
The priest or deacon will
explain what this means
There must be no conditions
to your consent:
e.g.
I will marry, but if…or only if…
I will marry you as long as…
I will marry you unless…
If you have made a
PRE-MARITAL AGREEMENT
the terms of the agreement
may amount to conditional
consent. If you have any
questions about this, ask
your priest or deacon
You ‘gift’ yourself to the other and
you ‘take’ the gift offered.
I promise...
“for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health
(ourselves or our children),
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part”
I will always be there sharing my love
with you
“Thank you for the greatest gift
you could give me: YOURSELF.
I promise to ‘cherish’ this gift,
treat it with love, tenderness
and care”
“I promise that whatever
happens I will never stop
loving you. I will never give
up on our relationship, until
one of us dies”
To live like this means
continually ‘dying’ to self for
the sake of the relationship.
This ‘mirrors’ the way God loves
us, and the way Christ showed
what loving means by dying on
the Cross
He laid down his life for his
‘bride’, the Church.
God’s blessings come to
us principally through the
special signs of His love
for us that we Catholics
call SACRAMENTS.
God’s blessings come to
us principally through the
special signs of His love
for us that we Catholics
call SACRAMENTS.
There are seven:
baptism,
reconciliation,
communion,
confirmation,
holy orders,
the sacrament of the sick,
and matrimony.
Each sacrament marks a
major landmark event in
one’s life.
Sacraments are SIGNS –
signs of God’s covenant
love… Through them He
shows His concern for us
and offers His help (grace)
We believe as Christians that
when we speak of ‘God’ we are
speaking of three ‘persons’
the Father
the Son
the Holy Spirit
They live in an eternal
loving relationship.
The love that exists between them
is the only love there is.
They share this love with us,
making it possible for us to love.
The Sacrament of
Matrimony provides
the help we need to
show our love for
each other, not just
on our wedding day
but throughout the
rest of our married
lives.
You marry each other.
The priest or deacon is there as an
official witness for the Church.
You freely and without
reservation BIND
yourselves to each other
for life.
The marriage BOND is
forged on your wedding day.
But you take each other for
better for worse, EVERY day.
So you need to INVITE God
into your life and ask his
help EVERY day.
Catholics seek God’s
help through prayer
and especially when
they celebrate the
Sacrament of the Eucharist.
In the Eucharist Jesus
makes present, under
signs and symbols of
bread and wine, his
death on the Cross.
We believe this to be the
GREATEST EVENT IN
HUMAN HISTORY, and in
holy communion we
join ourselves to it,
and draw strength
from it.
This was the greatest act
of love God ever showed
towards human beings.
Through marriage you
become a SIGN, a sign
to the world of God’s
love.
Jesus said to his followers:
“When two or three of you are
ASSEMBLED in my name,
I am there in the midst of
you.”
‘The Church’
means
‘The Assembly’
So the couple are a ‘Little Church’
So a Christian couple ARE the Church:
‘a little church’ - a community of love.
In their love and respect
for each other,
in their confronting and
forgiving of one another,
in their faithfulness
to each other,
a couple BECOME a living
tangible ‘sign’ (Sacrament)
of the ‘real’ presence of
God in the midst of his
people, the Church.
So the ‘little’ Church becomes a
sign to the ‘big’ Church of the
reality of God’s love and
faithfulness. It is there for all to see
in the relationship of this couple.
This is not a pious image. It’s a
way of living that challenges and
enriches those who seek to live by
it in order to make it a reality.
Even when one of the
partners is not a
Catholic, couples can
benefit by attending
Mass together and the church
community as a whole
also benefits.
Remember that your wedding service is
YOUR service. You can select the
Scripture readings, choose favourite
hymns, even write your own prayers if
you wish.
Discuss this with the priest or deacon
who is conducting the service.
We are now going to role play the Marriage Rite. As you
will see it’s a public statement of intent, witnessed by the
priest or deacon and the community.
Married Couples sharing
Handout: Christian Marriage