Writing a Winning
Statement of Purpose
Adapted from materials developed by Glenn M. Callaghan, Department of Psychology, San Jose State
University (http://www.sjsu.edu/faculty/gcallaghan/graduate/winningstatement.htm), from Maureen O’Brien’s
“Demystifying the University Application Process,” and from Ann Sarrafzadeh’s “Writing a Winning Statement
of Purpose.”
Determine your PURPOSE
in writing the Statement
Why should the admissions committee choose you?
Why will you succeed in your field?
-motivation?
-abilities?
-experience?
Pay attention to the purpose throughout the statement so that extraneous
material is left out.
Pay attention to the audience (committee) throughout the statement.
Remember, your audience is made up of faculty members who are experts in
their field.They want to know that you can think as much as what you think.
Determine the CONTENT
of your Statement
Private Schools:
Don’t want a
generic response
SJSU:
You can use the
structure…
•Who I am.
•What I want to do.
•Why this university?
Write a brief statement (500 words or less) describing
reason(s) for pursuing graduate or postbaccalaureate
study. Include any additional information concerning
your preparation that is pertinent to the objective
specified. You may also send a resume and/or letters of
reference if required by department.
If you have already sent your Statement of Purpose
directly to the department/program, please enter the
following text in the box below: "Statement sent
directly to department/program."
Answer all QUESTIONS in your
Statement
Be sure to answer any direct questions fully. Analyze
the questions or guidance statements for the essay
completely and answer all parts.
For example:
“What are the strengths and weaknesses in setting and achieving
goals and working through people?”
There are actually 6 parts to this question…
1.
Strengths in setting goals
2.
Strengths in achieving goals
3.
Strengths in working through people
4.
5.
6.
Weaknesses in setting goals
Weaknesses in achieving goals
Weaknesses in working through people
Determine your APPROACH and
STYLE of the statement
There is no such thing as “the perfect
way to write a statement.”
There is only the one that is best for you
and fits your circumstances.
Considerations about FORM:

Keep to the page limit number!
(reviewers have to read hundreds of
these applications; don’t overburden them
with extra pages.)

Check for typographical errors; if your
error is actually a word, the word
processing program may not alert you to
the mistake.You don’t want to be taken
less seriously due to a typo, rite?
Usually, graduate and professional
schools are interested in the following…
1.
Your purpose in graduate study. This means that you must have thought this through before you try to answer the
question.
2.
The area of study in which you wish to specialize. This requires that you know the field well enough to make such
decision.
3.
Future use of your graduate study. This will include your career goals and plans for your future.
4.
Your special preparation and fitness for study in the field.This is the opportunity to relate your academic background
with your extracurricular experience to show how they unite to make you a special candidate.
5.
Any problems or inconsistencies in your records of scores such as a bad semester. Be sure to explain in a positive
manner and justify the explanation. Since this is a rebuttal argument, it should be followed by a positive statement
of your abilities.
6.
Any special conditions that are not revealed elsewhere in the application such as a large (35-hour a week) work load
outside of school. This too should be followed with a positive statement about yourself and your future.
7.
You may be asked, “Why do you wish to attend this school?” This requires that you do your research about the
school and know what its special appeal is to you.
8.
Above all this, the statement is to contain information about you as a person. They only know what you tell them.
You are the subject of the statement.
There are some things the
statement should not be:
a)
Avoid the “what I did with my life” approach.
This was fine for grade school essays on “what
I did last summer.” It is not good for a personal
statement.
b)
Equally elementary is the approach, “I’ve always
wanted to be a ________.” This is only
appropriate is it also reflects your current
career goals.
c)
Also avoid a statement that indicates your
interest in psychology is because of your own
personal psychotherapy or that you want to
get an MBA because people in your country
with an MBA are rich.
Don’t

Flatter the school or focus on the location, size, or appearance of
the school.

Criticize other schools or employers you had in the past.

Apologize for your English or your test scores.

Brag about yourself or be too “altruistic”

Be vague or use general words without a follow-up explanation

Try to use a “flowery” writing style with long words, which are
not appropriate

Use a statement that you found on the internet

Repeat the same information that is already included in your
resume or your application.
Words to avoid without explanation
significant
invaluable
appealing to me
interesting
exciting, excited
appealing aspect
challenging
enjoyable, enjoy
I like it
satisfying, satisfaction
I can contribute
it’s important
rewarding
valuable
fascinating
gratifying
helpful
appreciate
meaningful
useful
helping people
means a lot to me
feel good
I like to help people
stimulating
remarkable
incredible
*finding better synonyms at www.thesaurus.com may be helpful
These are some things the
statement should do:
a)
It should be objective yet self-revelatory. Write
directly and in a straightforward manner that tells
about your experience and what it means to you.
b)
It should form conclusions that explain the value and
meaning of your experiences such as:




What you learned about yourself
What you learned about your field
What you learned about your future goals
What you learned about your career concerns
c)
It should be specific. Document your conclusions with
specific instances or draw your conclusions as the
result of individual experience.
d)
It should be an example of careful persuasive writing.
Do

Read catalogues/websites to make sure you and the school are a
good fit

Show that you are knowledgeable about your field and this school.

Give an honest and clear picture of who you are, emphasizing
your strengths.

Answer the question completely. Be Specific and use examples.

Maintain a positive tone about your own past, including challenges
you had.

Write the essay yourself, even if it takes a long time to do so.
Statement of Purpose Consultations

Review this information

Explore useful websites and take notes

Brainstorm before writing a rough draft

Proofread your rough draft for any errors in language use. I will
not respond to a paper that is full of basic mistakes in structure.

Send me the rough draft as a Word Document for comments
(huma.saleem@sjsu.edu). It may take me up to one week to send
my comments back to you.

Using my comments, write a second draft.

Email me to set up a 15-minute appointment, where we will go
over your final draft
*I will not re-write your
essay; that would be a
violation of University ethics.
However, I will help you to
make it better.
Useful Resources:

http://www.studential.com/personalstatements/

http://www.accepted.com/grad/sampleessays.aspx

http://www.statementofpurpose.com/essay_samples.html

http://www.essayedge.com/promo/sampleessays

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/02/
Getting Started…
Topic
Academic Achievements,
Honors, Prizes
Leadership
Creativity
Open-mindedness
Responsibility
Integrity
Initiative
Enthusiasm
Sense of Humor
Independence
Commitment
Honesty
Confidence
Academic Qualities:
Examples, Experiences, Anecdotes
Getting Started…
Topic
What professional work
experience have you had?
What was your job? Other
responsibilities? How did you
carry it out?
What are your career goals?
What factors formed this
decision?
Why is your career choice
correct for you? (how is it
practical and realistic in your
life?) Personal experience in
the field is a good place to
begin.
What professional qualities
do you possess? (consider
working with others: were
you an effective leader or a
productive team player?
Career Information:
Examples, Experiences, Anecdotes
Getting Started…
Topic
What is a memorable
accomplishment in your
life? How did you
achieve it?
Do you have any travel
or international
experience that could
be beneficial to your
future success?
Have you participated in
any extracurricular
activities? What role did
you play? What have you
gained from this
experience?
Miscellaneous:
Examples, Experiences, Anecdotes
Getting Started…
Topic
What do you know about
this program? (do your
research!)
What do you want from this
program? How will this
program further your
objectives?
Why do you think this
program is the right one for
you?
What can you bring to this
program?
Do you have any special
interests in the program?
(specific courses, areas of
specialization, faculty
research interests,
internships, lab research,
hands-on experience, other)
Why this University?
Examples, Experiences, Anecdotes