Writing
Jami De Vries, Heritage High School,
Littleton, CO
Writing does Matter
Two purposes for journalistic writing:
1. Writing should inspire (read Rick
Reilley (SI) for examples)
2. In the next examples, you’ll see that
writing should provide key
information that can’t be given in a
photo
In Mr. Rudolph’s AP Physics class, students
fill Ziploc bags as full as possible with water
and then poke different colored pencils
through the bag. The result? The water doesn’t
spill out, along with the fact that the pencils
look bent because the speed of light is slower
through water. Mr. Rudolph, Hannah Gazzett
‘14, and Mikaela Lieb ‘15 froze the bag as a
joke, hoping to play around with a new
experiment. “The labs help because we
actually get to apply what we learning, as well
as physically see how each thing works,” says
Lauren Huggins ‘14.
3,000 runners representing 90 teams from across
the state showed up in droves for the annual Liberty
Bell, the largest Cross Country Meet in the state.
Even with such an immense amount of participants,
Jenna Pinto ‘16 didn’t have any problems standing
out, as she received eighth overall for the Varsity
girls. Though others like Matthew Charles ‘14 didn’t
place in the top ten, this race meant a lot after
running for four consecutive years on the team.
“My favorite memory and most proud moment is
lettering all four years at the Liberty Bell.” All other
teams did exceedingly well: JV boys took 1st, Varsity
Boys took 9th, and Varsity Girls placed 11th.
Before you write…
In order to write a caption or story, what
MUST take place first?
That’s right? The interview!
o The interview is the most crucial part of
the writing process…Why?
The more you ask, the more you know, and
the more you know, the more you can
include in your book-more information
also gives you more to work with
(So…make sure you pay close attention to Tina’s interview session
today!)
Once the reporting
is done…
Writing 101
Again, the writing does matter
Captions tell the stories of your unique year, and
students actually DO read them!
The problem with captions? The problem with
captions?! No one is jumping up and down to
write them or read them…just yet! Your goal
as a staff should be write captions that your
student body will WANT to read. You have to
MAKE them read.
Types of Captions
ident: name and very brief description
summary: who, what, when, where, why
quote: first-person, word-for-word
commentary
expanded: in-depth, summary+quote
collection: describe a photo package
group: idents by row
Ident Caption
1. Kyle Smith, state long jump champion.
2. Kyle Smith sets school, state long jump
record.
3. At Central H.S.: Kyle Smith attempts long
jump.
Which one would NOT be a good ident
caption?
Summary Caption
Jammin’ Jump. Setting a school and state
long jump record at 25 feet, 8 inches, senior
Kyle Smith stretches the distance in his
first attempt of the meet.
Expanded Caption
Format:
It’s as easy as
Attention Getter (or, a“ABCD”
Lead In): Grab your readers’ attention
by using a cleaver phrase or idea related to your photo.
BASIC info: This first sentence should try to answer all of the
5W’s…in other words, state the necessary information.
Complimentary info: The next 1-3 sentences should include
background information/facts about the event, people which
provides insight (something NOT obvious by looking at the
picture)
Direct Quote: Include insightful quote from someone related
to the photo (doesn’t necessarily have to be IN the photo)
Expanded Caption
Jammin’ Jump! Posting his personal best
performance and setting new school and state
long jump records, senior Kyle Smith makes his
first attempt for the long jump title at the state
competition at Rocky Peak High School on Oct.
30. Smith was one of 10 qualifiers for the state
competition. “Since he was our first team
member to go to state in school history, we were
really excited for Kyle to do well. He’s personally
an inspiration for me-he’s reliable, hard working,
and always, always has a positive attitude,”
recalls senior captain John Herman.
Caption No No’s
Never start with the subject’s name-be
creative!
Refrain from saying “pictured above,”
“attempts to,” “appears to”
Never misspell a name! Always triple check
your spelling, especially the names. Print
off a list of your student body, so your
staff can have a resource readily available.
Never state the obvious-give reader
something he/she can’t SEE in the photo
Most Important No
No’s
1. Never use a weak
quote: “If someone else
can say it, it’s not a good quote.”
“John is a good athlete.”
VERSUS
“Since he was our first team member to go
to state in school history, we were really
excited for Kyle to do well. He’s personally
an inspiration for me-he’s reliable, hard
working, and always, always has a positive
attitude.”
Most Important No
2. Keep opinions out No’s
of the copy.
The show was a spectacular performance.
The team didn’t disappoint.
The crowd showed great support.
NOTE: If you included any of these lines with a
name and “ ” around them, now we have a different
scenario…and you WOULD be able to USE these
ideas because you have taken opinion and added
in a direct quote.
Pratice, Practice,
Practice
Using the info and photo on the next slide,
write your best expanded caption. Think
about the format for an expanded caption
(check your notes) and remember the
caption no no’s. Good luck!
But….before we get started, let’s establish
what we KNOW about the photo. In 1-2
sentences, write what you KNOW by looking
at this photo…
Let’s see what ‘cha
got!
Now, here’s the kicker, you are only allowed to use that BASIC info in
the first sentence, combined with the 5 W’s below for clarity. (Pop
quiz: Why do you need this info? Why should it be limited to the
first sentence?)
5 w’s: Varsity LAX game, Girls, April 14, 2014, LPS Stadium, to play their 8th game of
season against Arapahoe HS
Quotes: “Winning this game means everything to me. It is my last year, and I have
worked so hard to push myself to be the best player I can be.” –Jillian Rodel “I am so
proud of my team. We played and fought hard for this win. I couldn’t imagine it
happening any other way- Kudos to Jillian for her amazing score!” –Aubrey Gilliman
“The Arapahoe girls have such a strong program, and to see these two teams go head
to head, with a win for us, is a monumental deal.” –Athletic Director, Ben Becker
Background Info: HHS playing rival, AHS; #29 Jillian Rodel scored goal in last 3 seconds
to take the win, highest attending game in HHS’s history, game put them into the
playoffs, hot and muggy day, coach was crying during interview post-game
Once caption is
done…
Now, you have to write
a HEADLINE.
“8 out of 10 people will read your headline. Only 2 out of
those 10 will read the copy.” Case in point:
The title to anything is KEY (think about songs, books, blogs,
screen names, etc). Titles should be funny, clever, thoughtprovoking or confusing for a purpose. You should begin and
end every headline with this question: “Would this make
me want to read on?”
Follow these 5 simple tips to help you write catchy
headlines, and your student body will definitely be
reading your captions! 
Tip 1: Use Numbers
Do an experiment: Go to the grocery store, and scan
the magazines in the checkout lane. Look at the
front-page article headlines. It doesn’t matter if it’s a
fitness magazine or a tabloid; many of them will be
using numerals to start off the headline.
There aren’t really any rules (as far as I know) regarding
what numbers work best, but people typically only
remember three to five points. That said, sometimes
a really obscure number like 19 or 37 can catch
people’s attention!
Turbulent
Painstaking
Fun
Free
Dowdy
Irksome
Tip 2: Use
Interesting
Incredible
Adjectives
Essential
Absolute
Strange
Egregious
Effortless
Zealous
Glamorous
Thundering
Puny
Voracious
Jocular
What others can you think of? (And they don’t even have to
be adjectives-bottom line: try to make every word
interesting!)
Tip 3: Doo-Dah
Apply the “doo-dah” rule. Headlines are like poetry
and songs: they should have a rhythm about them.
To check? Read your headline aloud, to the tune,
and afterwards, you should be able to say “doo
dah, doo dah.”
Examples:
More bang for your buck
Heritage end of school picnic
Investing in their future
Tip 4: Be picky
Space is limited: don’t use articles, or, and
No, not this kind of
pick-teehee 
Tip 5: Engage the
Engage as many sensesSenses
as possible (sight, sound, smell,
touch, taste) to vividly engage the readers imagination!
Remember, "Don't sell the steak, sell the sizzle". It's not merely
a chunk of meat sitting there, it's the fragrance of hickory,
of searing juices spattering and hissing upon the red-hot
coals, the succulent aroma of tender sirloin, dripping with
flavor, and the barbecue sauce staining the front of proud
"Dad's the Cook" crisp new Birthday Apron.
Final Thoughts
• Remember, WRITING MATTERS!
• Give your captions and headlines the time and
effort they need!
• Try your best ALWAYS…don’t get sloppy or lazy
with your writing!
Best wishes for your year-have fun! 
Questions or comments: jdevries@lps.k12.co.us