Sentence Clarity
Combining clauses, constructing
parallels and creating emphasis
Combining Clauses
Combining Clauses: Paragraph
Example
• I was walking to my house. It was dark. There
was rain. I was cold. I heard a noise. I looked
behind me. There was a huge man. He had a
gun. I started to run. Was he following me? I
looked back. I noticed that it was not a gun.
He was holding a cell phone.
Combining Clauses: Paragraph
Example
• I was walking to my house. It was dark. There was rain.
I heard a noise. I looked behind me. There was a huge
man. He had a gun. I started to run. Was he following
me? I looked back. I noticed that it was not a gun. He
was holding a cell phone.
• I was walking to my house on a dark and rainy night. I
was already nervous about the situation when I heard
a noise. I looked behind me and saw a huge man. In his
hand, I saw the dark glisten of a gun. Without thinking,
I started to run. Out of curiosity, I looked back to see if
he was catching up to me. It was then I noticed that he
was not holding a gun, but a cell phone.
Combining Clauses
• Why combine clauses?
– Tiresome and repetitive if not
– More fluid reading
– Varying sentence length is more interesting for
reader
– Allows room for better expression
Combining Clauses
• What is a clause?
– Independent clauses can stand alone in a
sentence
• ex. The window is open.
– Dependent clauses cannot stand alone in a
sentence
• ex. Because the window is open, we should be quite.
Combining Clauses: How
• How to combine them?
– Make a compound sentence
– Make a complex sentence
– Combine facts to describe
Combining Clauses: How
– Make a compound sentence by combining
two independent clauses with a coordinating
conjunction (and, but, or, nor, yet, for, so)
• Compound Ex. Occasionally it rains in Blagoevgrad, and
the path to Kauflands turns to mud.
Combining Clauses: How
– Make a complex sentence by combining both
independent clauses and recasting one of
those independent clause as a dependent
clause
• Dependent clauses usually start with after, because,
before, if, since, though, unless, until, when, where,
while, who, which, that.
• Complex Ex. When it rains in Blagoevgrad, the path to
Kauflands turns to mud.
Combining Clauses: How
– Combine facts in independent clauses to
describe
• Descriptive Ex. It was a dark and stormy night.
• As opposed to: It was night. It was dark. It was stormy.
Combining Clauses
Problem: Martin was a disrespectful boy. Dr.
Black tried her best to help him. He drove
many professors crazy.
Combining Clauses
Problem: Martin was a disrespectful boy. Dr.
Black tried her best to help him. He drove
many professors crazy.
Compound sentence: Dr. Black tried her best to help
Martin, but he was a disrespectful boy. He drove many
professors crazy.
Complex sentence: Dr. Black tried her best to help
Martin, but he was a disrespectful boy who drove
many professors crazy.
Combining Clauses
Problem: I live in Skaptopara. I have no privacy. I
have two roommates. My roommates do not
leave me alone. I wish I was at home.
Combining Clauses
Problem: I live in Skaptopara. I have no privacy. I
have two roommates. My roommates do not
leave me alone. I wish I was at home.
Complex and Compound: Because I live in
Skaptopara, I have very little privacy. My
roommates do not leave me alone, and I
often wish I was at home.
Combining Clauses
Problem: My sister is tall. She is skinny. She has
wavy hair. Her hair is long. I have always been
jealous of her. She looks like a Barbie Doll.
Combining Clauses
Problem: My sister is tall. She is skinny. She has
wavy hair. Her hair is long. I have always been
jealous of her. She looks like a Barbie Doll.
Descriptive: My sister is tall and skinny. She has
long, wavy hair. I have always been jealous of
her Barbie Doll looks.
Parallel Grammatical Form
Parallel Form: Example
• The duties of the job include child-care,
keeping the house clean, and preparation of
meals.
Parallel Form: Example
• The duties of the job include child-care,
keeping the house clean, and preparation of
meals.
• The duties of the job include watching the
children, cleaning the house, and preparing
the meals.
Parallel Form
• Why use parallel form?
– It offers clarity
– When used sparingly in a paragraph, it can
highlight a sentence as being important
– It can emphasize a main point in a sequence or list
when positioned the end of the paralleled
segment
– It can make writing more elegant
Parallel Form
• Where to use parallel form?
– In lists, outlines, headings, or a series
• Series Ex. The children ran down the hill,
skipped over the lawn, and jumped into the
swimming pool.
– With pairs
• Pairs Ex. Writers are often more interesting on
the page than in the flesh.
Parallel Form: Rules
• When two ideas are compared, contrasted, or
otherwise paired in the same sentence, they
will often appear on either side of
and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet
– Ex. We performed whenever people would listen
and wherever they would pay.
– Ex. Consult a friend who is in your class or who is
good at math.
Parallel Form: Rules
• When two ideas are compared, contrasted, or
otherwise paired in the same sentence, they
can also appear after each part of
both…and
either…or
neither…nor
not only…but also
whether…or
just as… so
– Ex. I not only wanted to go away to school but also to live
in Bulgaria.
– Ex. The organization provided both scholarships for young
artists and grants for established ones.
Parallel Form: Rules
• Use balanced structure in parallel form
– Ex. Noun and Adjective
• He was admired for his athletic physique, charming
presence, and sharp wit.
• He was admired for his athletic physique, charming
presence, and sharp wit.
• He was admired for his athletic physique, charming
presence, and sharp wit.
Parallel Form: Rules
• Use balanced structure in parallel form
– Ex. Verb and Adverb
• The bird flew gracefully, sang sweetly, but left
quickly.
• The bird flew gracefully, sang sweetly, but left
quickly.
• The bird flew gracefully, sang sweetly, but left
quickly.
Parallel Form: Rules
• Include all necessary words
– We’ll move to a town near the ocean or the
mountains.
• Readers may wonder: Do you want a town near to the
mountains or do you want to move to the mountains?
– We’ll move to a town near the ocean or to the
mountains.
– We’ll move to a town near the ocean or near the
mountains.
Parallel Form: Rules
• Include all necessary words
– I had never before and would never again see such
a sight.
• The paralleling segments both use the verb “see”
– I had never before and would never again see
such a sight.
• “had see” is incorrect. “Had seen” is correct.
– I had never before seen and would never again
see such a sight.
Parallel Form: Rules
• Include all necessary words
– I prefer the beaches in Bulgaria to the United
States
• Are we comparing a beach and a country? Or beaches
and beaches?
– I prefer the beaches in Bulgaria to those in the
United States
Parallel Form
Problem: Democracy is government of the
people, coming from the people, and which
serves the people too.
List: Democracy is government of the
people, by the people, and for the
people.
Parallel Form
Problem: He explained the operations of the
computer and how much it cost.
Pair: He explained the operations and the cost
of the computer.
Parallel Form
Problem: She is a good student, a talented
athlete, and as a friend, she is loyal.
List: She is a good student, a talented athlete,
and a loyal friend.
Parallel Form
Problem: She is not only a convincing actor but also
brilliant both as a director and writer.
Pair: She is not only a convincing actor but also a
brilliant director and writer.
or:
Pair: She is brilliant both as a director and a
writer.
Emphasizing the Most Important
Idea
Emphasis: Example
• Nancy Kerrigan went on to receive the silver
medal in figure skating at the 1994 Winter
Olympics, despite the negative media.
Emphasis: Example
• Nancy Kerrigan went on to receive the silver
medal in figure skating at the 1994 Winter
Olympics, despite the negative media.
• Despite the negative media, Nancy Kerrigan
received the silver metal in figure skating at
the 1994 Winter Olympics.
Emphasis: How
• Ways to emphasize?
– Using final independent clause
• Because we tend to remember the last thing we hear,
key information should be located in final independent
clause
– Ex: To protect her skin, she took plenty of sunscreen.
– Using climatic order
• When presenting a list of ideas, arrange them in order
of increasing importance
– Ex: Soap operas offend our ears, assault our eyes, and damage
our brains.
Emphasis: Rules for Closing
Position
• Identify the important words
– Also notable is the image of the rose throughout the story.
• Arrange important information in Independent
clause
– …The image of the rose is notable
• Arrange unimportant information in dependent
clause
– Throughout the story, …
Throughout the story, the image of the rose is notable.
Emphasis: Rules for Climatic Order
• In the list, identify the object of highest order or the
most important information
– All class activities, whether homework, exams, or quizzes,
must be graded fairly.
• Arrange the list so that the object of highest order or
the most important information comes last
– All class activities, whether homework, quizzes, or exams,
must be graded fairly.
Emphasis
Problem: Some foods or vitamins may make you
sick, so read all labels carefully.
Final clause: Read all labels carefully as some foods or
vitamins may make you sick.
Emphasis
Problem: Some side effects of studying too hard
include death, exhaustion, and headaches.
Climatic Order: Some side effects of studying
too hard include exhaustion, headaches, and
death.
Emphasis
Problem: She gave $500,000 to the Eng 101
party fund last month.
Final Clause: Last month, she gave the Eng 101
party fund $500,000.
Emphasis
Problem: Victorian women were warned that if
they smoked, they would become sterile,
grow a mustache, or contract tuberculosis.
Climatic Order: Victorian women were warned
that if they smoked, they would contract
tuberculosis, become sterile, or grow a
mustache.
Congrats!
You can now combine clauses, form
parallel ideas, and emphasize points.
Go forth and write with clarity!