6/10/11
Written Text – “Lip Service”
 Q1: Identify ONE generalisation that the writer suggests about
what it means to be a New Zealander, AND explain how the
writer develops this idea with a particular audience in mind.
 Begin with an overall statement like…
 A: One generalisation suggested by the writer about what it
means to be a New Zealander is New Zealanders’ fear of
intimacy. The writer describes it as a “hard-wired reluctance to
touch” that New Zealanders struggle to overcome. This idea is
developed in the writer’s use of first-person narrative voice,
anecdotes and simile to target the self-deprecating rural New
Zealander who can see the humour in their own shared reactions
and behaviours.
Then go on to explain the techniques used
in relation to the question…
 - First-person narrative voice, as seen in lines such as “(Was that too much? It was,
wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have done that…).” By blending a personal monologue into the
article, the writer helps us to recognise our own reactions to awkward situations and
thereby see the shared humour in our fear of intimacy. This very personal writing voice
makes us aware that we are not alone in these odd, uncomfortable thoughts about what
is/isn’t appropriate when meeting someone.
- Anecdotes, like the story about when “I dated a builder who jutted his chin at his
mates”, helped build an intimacy and almost establishes this writer as a friend with
whom we can share our fears and awkwardness. The anecdote also helps us see the
humour again in the actions of people we may know or see each day. The ability to laugh
at oneself is a quality appreciated by many New Zealanders and is often seen as part of
our charm and genuine nature. Anecdotes like this one suggest the writer is someone
who knows us well.
- The simile of “going straight to the kiss is like clamping a colander over a butterfly”
comparing the trapping of a butterfly to planting a kiss on everyone you meet reveals the
writer’s opinion, which many New Zealanders seem to share, that we would rather admit
to a fear of intimacy than lose our slight physical reluctance.
And if you haven’t already done so in explaining
the techniques, sum up your response…
 These techniques used by the writer reveal her obvious
knowledge, and likely shared background, of New
Zealanders as a group. Her target audience recognises
the sense of humour, similar honesty and the social
references that build a common origin to the writer
herself.
 This is how you structure an Excellence response!
 Q2: The writer deliberately creates several tones in this
text. Three of these are humour, nostalgia (thinking fondly
about the past) and persuasion. Choose ONE of these
tones, and analyse in detail how the writer uses
techniques to create this tone.
 A: The writer deliberately creates a persuasive tone in this
text. This helps the audience realise their shared flawwhich, after reading this article, we are supposed to see is a
part of our New Zealand identity. Techniques such as
exaggeration, repetition and listing are used to
persuade us to admit and accept our shared characteristic.
 - Exaggerated comparisons – like our process of meeting a friend being compared to a
game of Battleship (as seen in the idea that there need to be “simple rules of
engagement”, and “approach opponent”) – makes us appreciate the silliness, but also the
strategy, behind our greetings. To suggest that a physical meeting is in any way similar to
going to war exaggerates the fear that the writer generalises New Zealanders all feel. By
using this ridiculous comparison, the writer does persuade us to see the humour in the
habits, like the builder’s chin-jut, that can mean so much.
- Repetition of the phrase “fear of intimacy” – (line 16 & 18) – works to persuade us that
we should recognise and embrace this quality in our national identity. Further references
to ‘fear’, such as being ‘neurotic’, and as if in a ‘trap’, along with references to intimacy,
touching and kissing – force us to face up to the so-called “good old New Zealand fear”
that we have. The repetition works on us to persuade us that we cannot escape the habit
of fearing intimacy and should not even try – as it is a part of who we are as a nation.
- Listing is a further technique that works to persuade us that we do not want to get past
of give up on our fear of intimacy. The writer suggests that if we do lose it, a precious
aspect of our identity may be lost, in a fashion similar to the loss of “the glass milk bottle,
the Snifter and the Hillman Hunter”, and that it will “slowly fade into legend”. By listing
these so-called legendary things, the writer works to persuade us that this interesting and
possibly endearing stand-offish quality is something that makes us special and unique;
and, rather than lose it, we should embrace it and claim it as a part of who we are.
Written Text Poetry – “Three Cranes in
a Dock”
 Q1:Explain how the poet’s comparison of mechanical cranes to birds
develops your understanding of the poem.
 A: SIMILE: Early in the poem, the writer compares the mechanical
cranes to birds through the use of simile, “three cranes bow their
girdered necks east as if in prayer”. This comparison allows the reader
to imagine the bird-like mechanical cranes with long necks hanging
low; not only are they compared with birds, they are made more
romantic with the idea that they are bowing “as if in prayer”. This simile
creates a closeness between the cranes and the harbour in which they
work, suggesting that they are not that far removed from the natural
aspects of the sea, sand and harbour. In the physical description of the
mechanical cranes offered by the writer, we recognise the similarities in
the two cranes being compared – their long necks, their geographical
placement living by the water’s edge and their long limbs. These details
help build an image and allows their mechanical nature to almost be
overlooked.
 METAPHOR: Later, when the image is developed with the metaphorical
description of their place of rest as a ‘nest’, the reader is almost convinced they
are part of nature, waiting for daylight so they can leave the ‘nest’ and venture
out into the world. The final development is established with the description of
them waiting to “hatch their legs in the lengthening day”. By using the word,
‘hatch’, the writer has again chosen a word we associate with birds’ nests –
chicks being born, a natural process of baby birds beginning their lives. This
comparison of mechanical cranes to birds has evolved throughout the poem
and now the reader has to work hard to remember these birds are not part of
nature, they are a part of the human world – made of metal. However, it is far
more comfortable to imagine them as a part of the natural world as they live
and work on the shoreline. The writer has worked to help us see the lose
connection, but also the differences, in these two aspects – nature and
advancement. There is a suggestion that there is something natural and
beautiful about the way the cranes look and act – as if nature would accept
these creatures despite their “girders” and mechanical “wired” natures.
 Q2: Analyse how sound, image and mood work together at the
beginning (lines 1-4) and at the end of the poem (lines 17-18),
AND explain how and why a contrast is created.
 At the beginning of the poem, sound (sibilance), image
(personification) and mood (heavy vowel sounds) work
together to create a gentle, natural start to the morning. The
heaviness of the repeated “d” sound in “dawn”, “drains” and
“dropping dregs”, offers a slow-just-waking-up sensation to the
movement. The tide’s sibilance in the repeated “s” in the “slope
of shells”, mimics the sound created by the waves gently pushing
sand and shells across each other. These, combined with the
personified image of the tide throwing a hush across the “sandy
shoulders” of the harbour, make it seem as if the harbour is a
person slowly waking in the morning, pulling themselves out of a
deep sleep.
 In contrast, the end of the poem has shifted from the nature-based
sounds and images into louder and more mechanical comparisons. The
sounds in the final two lines include the onomatopoeia “bang” and
“clang” – two loud jarring sounds that occur when metal bumps against
metal. Imagery at the end of the poem also echoes this jarring,
mechanical quality, with the use of controlling images – described as a
“fence” and “chain” to hold things in. While the initial scene is still and
natural, the final scene is louder and human. The contrast is connected
through the idea of the cranes as birds – the reader is drawn in by the
idea of nature, but this evolves into the images of human advancement
as cranes ready themselves to lift and transfer pallets and crates.
Interestingly though, the mood in the ending is lighter, with the
positive word “hopeful” being the only emotive word in the final lines.
This seems to suggest the cranes are keen to begin moving and began
preparing themselves once they heard the sounds of human movement
begin with the bang and clang and the “kettle being boiled” – as a
morning cuppa is being made.
Visual Text – “The Captive Wife”
 Q1: Analyse how the visual aspects of the book cover
connect with the title The Captive Wife to suggest
detailed ideas about the content of the book. You
could consider the use of colour, image, symbolism,
and layout.
 The use of symbolism and layout reveal ideas about
the content of Fiona Kidman’s novel The Captive Wife.
 Two strong symbols support the growing fear and
uncertainty the reader has regarding the wife’s wellbeing. The first is the white dove, seemingly trapped
within the curved shape of the letter “C”, suggesting
that hope (which is symbolically represented by a dove
in religious stories) cannot be felt or experienced in
this text. Secondly, the female figure on the prow of
the boat visually appears trapped within a net of ropes
– with the ropes casting shadows across her face,
essentially imprisoning her. This suggests a physical
entrapment of the woman who titles the novel.
 The layout of the title also supports the imprisonment of the
wife and foreshadows ominously harsh treatment of her. The
word “CAPTIVE” is in capital letters, in a banner-headline style,
and as it is the largest word on the cover page, the reader cannot
escape its negative associations and is prepared for the worst.
With the smaller text “WIFE” pushed across to the right-hand
side of the page under the word ‘captive’, the common noun loses
any positive connotations and becomes a passionless label rather
than a term of endearment or relationship. Seeing the trapped
female figure directly below the title, readers cannot help but be
aware that this novel will probably focus on the bleak life of a
woman who is trapped – possibly by society and its expectations
and probably by her husband and what he wants.
Oral Text – “More Fish, Less
Drought”
 Q1: Analyse in detail how the speaker uses language
techniques to persuasively develop ideas for his audience.
 A: The speaker, Mr English, works hard to persuade his audience
that they must act to make water a more sustainable resource
and recognise it as the ‘treasure’ it is. His early historical
reference to the artist and philosopher Leonardo da Vinci’s
comment that, “water is the driving force of all nature”, is a
persuasive opener, as it highlights the idea that without water all
life would cease to exist. Even hundreds of years ago when da
Vinci was writing his ideas, it was obvious that water was at the
heart of living and Mr English is amazed that we still are not
doing enough to protect this natural resource. This use of history
to prove a point should persuade people that we need to act now;
we have waited long enough without acting effectively.
 The repeated use of inclusive personal pronouns works to
show how we have a shared interest in making water safe and
sustainable. “As farmers we harness nature, we harvest it for our
families and society, and we nurture it for future generations”. By
repeating “we”, the speaker reminds the audience of their shared
interests and livelihoods, and when this combines with the
possessive pronoun “our”, the audience cannot help but
recognise the need for collaborative action. Later, the inclusive
pronouns are contrasted by the speaker’s use of exclusive
pronouns to highlight differences between our situation and the
problems in third-world nations, and even in Australia, where
‘they’ have to “look underground for their treasure”. Our
situation is different and therefore we need to act differently to
protect our resource.
 The metaphor used to describe our water supply as a
‘treasure’ helps to communicate the seriousness of Mr
English’s concerns and the value of water in our lives.
Treasure is typically associated with things that are
highly desirable and valuable – like jewels or precious
stones. In this case, water is the treasure that we must
‘harness’ and protect for the benefit of “the
environment and the whole nation”. This comparison
works well to persuade the audience that water must
be protected, as treasure is something we can all
understand, and once we accept that without water we
are in trouble, its value becomes obvious to us all.