Question 1
Aiming for Top Band
Step 1: READ THE QUESTION!!!
• 1: Imagine you are a newspaper reporter working in the nearby town. Write a report
using this headline:
• Lone fisherman survives storm of the century
• In your report you should include the following:
• • what happened to the fisherman and his surroundings
• • why he refused to leave his home
• • how this will affect his way of life in the future.
• Base your report on what you have read in Passage A. Be careful to use your own
words.
• Write between 1½ and 2 sides, allowing for the size of your handwriting.
• Up to 15 marks are available for the content of your answer, and up to 5 marks for
the quality of your writing.
You have been
asked to write a
news report
(article). You must
ensure that you
are writing in the
correct form.
Imagine you are a newspaper
reporter working in the nearby town.
Write a report using this headline:
Lone fisherman survives storm
of the century
The
headline
reflects the
sensational
tone they
want the
article to be
in.
Form
• What are the features of a newspaper report?
• Overview paragraph to start
• What?
• When?
• Where?
• Who?
• How?
• Why?
• Eye-witness accounts
• Facts and statistics
• Sensationalist language
Getting it right from the beginning…
Yes
No
• Last night, the tiny, isolated
village of Little Herrington was
savagely battered by some of
the most violent storms since
1987.
• In this article, I will be writing
about a fisherman and a storm.
Form: Your Turn
• Look at the three questions on your sheet.
• What form have you been asked to write in?
• Which key features will you need to use in your
piece?
Highlighting Bullet Points
• In your report you should include the following:
• • what happened to the fisherman and his
surroundings
• • why he refused to leave his home
• • how this will affect his way of life in the
future.
Using your highlighters
•Read through the text and highlight elements
from the passage that will help you answer
each of the bullet points.
•N.B. You are allowed to use highlighters in
your planning. You can highlight the text as
much as you like. The notice about not using
highlighters refers to your actual written
response.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• The response reveals a thorough reading of the
passage.
• Try to use elements from across the whole text in
your answer.
• Use synonyms of some of the key words in the
passage to show that you understand what it is about.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to
the fisherman and his surroundings?
• Paragraph 1:
• As I start my diary it is with a heavy heart. This community used to be
thriving, but storms have destroyed almost everything I hold dear.
My father told me that 80 years ago this place was alive with
fishermen, boat-builders and their families. Everyone met in the hall
to hear music and tales of the sea, and there was a little chapel and a
fish market. Since that time, the fishing trade gradually declined until
few of us were left. Living on this narrow spit of land was always
dangerous, and many houses were made only of wood and plaster.
They went first, taken by those terrible storms. Then floods came and
people left, buildings were demolished and their remnants slipped
beneath the shingle.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to
the fisherman and his surroundings?
• Paragraph 5
• I also remember another storm that caught us unawares as we were
hauling the boats and the heavy, sodden nets up the shore. Fishing is
no easy life, but even then we could still make a living when the
herrings were plentiful. A sudden, monstrous wave smashed into our
village on the spit and we had no defence. I was fortunate and
managed to grab hold of a jutting rock, but several of the boats, our
livelihood, were swept out to sea. That was 15 years ago.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to
the fisherman and his surroundings?
• Paragraph 7
• I predicted this storm and it is the most magnificent I have ever
known. It has unleashed a swirling mass of water that no person
could withstand. I have attempted to confront this tempest, but it
beats me into a crouching apology of a man. The rain smashes itself
against my little house like a demented hail of shrapnel. I shout at
the top of my voice in defiance, but the elements drown me out.
Behind the sheets of rain, I see the frenzied waves rearing their heads
against me. Although I am afraid, the sight of such a monstrous sea
always excites my very being.
Example
P1
P9
The village, identified as one of the most
hazardous areas of Britain, has often been the
victim of horrific storms. 15 years ago, many
fishermen lost their boats, and their only
means to earn a living, when huge waves
battered the narrow coastal hamlet.
Last night’s storm was equally ferocious.
Enormous waves were churned up along the
shoreline and a torrential downpour
slammed against the lone fisherman’s home.
P5
Your Turn: Bullet Point 2: Why does he refuse to
leave his home?
• Try to find three different points from three different
paragraphs that will help you write about this
second bullet point.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• A wide range of ideas are applied.
• Try to cover at least two or three different ideas
per bullet point.
• If you are using different parts of the text, you
are more likely to hit this point.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• There is sustained use of supporting detail, which is well
integrated into the response, contributing to a strong sense
of purpose and approach.
• Make sure that you are consistently using ideas from the text
throughout your response.
• Make sure you are clear about the purpose of your piece.
Try to use features associated with that purpose.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• Developed ideas are well related to the
passage.
• When you have an idea, try to cover more than
one aspect of it.
• Make sure that your ideas are covered in detail.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• All three bullets are well covered.
• It’s vitally important that you give yourself enough time to cover
all three bullet points equally.
• After planning, you should have about 30mins to write your
piece – this means 10mins per bullet point.
• If you can, try to cover more than one bullet point per paragraph
of your own writing.
Inference: The Third Bullet Point
• The third bullet point often asks you to make
some guesses about details that are not
explicitly discussed in the passage.
• This means you need to infer ideas from the
text.
Inference: The Third Bullet Point
• How this will affect his way of life in the future?
• You need to try and use the information from
the text to guess/infer details to use for this
bullet point.
Examples
Staying
Leaving
• He enjoys the storms
• Has survived so long, why leave
now?
• He likes being isolated
• He wants to live with his family
• He would be safer
• He can no longer repair his
home or boat
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band
• The response makes a convincing and consistent
representation of…
• Make sure you are fully focused on the task throughout the
piece.
• If you have been asked to create a ‘voice’, make sure that it
is consistent the whole way through.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band: Quality of Writing
• Ideas are expressed in a wide range of effective and/or
interesting language. Sequence is sound throughout.
• Make sure that you are choosing interesting words and phrases
to present your ideas.
• Try to use a range of devices such as metaphors, similes,
rhetorical questions, as appropriate.
• Make sure that there is a logical order to your work. Make sure
your paragraphs are well linked.
• PLAN!
• The village, identified as one of the most
Superlative
hazardous areas of Britain, has often
Personification been the victim of horrific storms. 15
years ago, many fishermen lost their
boats, and their only means to earn a
living, when huge waves battered the Embedded
Clause
narrow coastal hamlet.
Variety of
• Last night’s storm was equally ferocious.
sentence
Enormous waves were churned up along Links
lengths.
the shoreline and a torrential downpour between
Varying
slammed against the lone fisherman’s
paragraphs
sentence
home.
starts.
Your Turn
• Using your notes about the second bullet point,
write at least two paragraphs that cover the second
bullet point.
• Highlight the devices and links you have used.
• Start with the line:
•Despite the fearsome conditions on the
island, Adam Smith refuses to leave…