Welcome
TCI Update:
Conflict Resolution
Residential Child Care Project
Family Life Development Center, Cornell University
Defining Conflict
An incompatible difference in
goals, needs, values
between two or more people
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Types of Conflict
 Conflict over resources
 Conflict of needs
 Conflict of values
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Typical Responses to Conflict
 Respond aggressively to defeat the other person
 Appeal to a higher authority or someone stronger to
battle for them
 Ignore the situation
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Attitudes Toward Conflict
Column I
Control It
Column II
Compromise
Column III
Collaborate
Column IV
Ignore It
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Identifying Needs
 Reflective responses
 Open questions
 Reframe the statement
 Summarization
 Avoid jumping to conclusions
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Practice
50%
Discussion
25%
Demonstration
25%
Assumptions
 All interests and needs are legitimate
 The process is as important as the outcome
 Everyone is right from their own perspective
 As conditions change, solutions might change
 Everyone’s needs will be met to improve the situation
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Factors To Consider
 Who is involved
 Timing
 Magnitude of conflict
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Goals of Conflict Resolution
 To help children learn to resolve differences in a way
that helps all involved get their needs or interest met to
the maximum degree possible
 To maintain the relationship between the parties in
conflict
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Steps in the Conflict
Resolution Process
1. Establish the ground rules
2. Deal with feelings
3. Define the conflict
Focus on interests and needs, not positions
4. Explore alternatives
5. Select a solution
Process is fair, meets needs, agreed solution
6. Evaluate
Scenario 2
 Both Ellen and Linda, aged 16, have a date tonight.
Over the past two weeks they have been borrowing
each others clothes, without any incidents. Tonight,
they both want to wear the same top which is
Ellen’s. They’ve been trying to work it out but it has
started to escalate with both calling each other
names and slamming doors.
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Scenario 3
 Betty and Janet, both aged 16, are arguing loudly
for the second night in a row. Both girls want to
use the shower at the same time. Betty claims that
Janet got the shower first last night and used all the
hot water. Betty wants a shower with hot water
tonight and so she wants to be first. Janet claims
that Betty takes too long in the shower and she
takes faster ones, so she wants to be first.
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Caveat
 Participate only if physically and medically able
 Offer no resistance in the role of the young person
 Remove objects that might cause injury
 Be appropriately dressed
 Stop means stop
 Practice only the techniques demonstrated