Course:
WDGT 2104 - Applied Widget Dynamics
Instructor:
Prof. A. Placeholder
Student:
Student Name (ID 000000000)
Due:
October 3, 2026
Assignment 3: Thermal Behaviour of the Standard
Widget
1. Introduction
The standard widget has been a cornerstone of theoretical manufacturing since at least the
invention of the economics textbook. Despite its ubiquity, little is known about how a widget
behaves when left on a sunny windowsill. This assignment investigates widget expansion,
contraction, and general sulking across a range of temperatures, with the goal of determining
an optimal storage climate.
2. Method
Six widgets of identical make were placed in environments ranging from a refrigerator to a car
dashboard in August. Length was measured with a ruler of questionable provenance every 15
minutes for two hours. Each widget was also asked how it was feeling; no responses were
recorded.
3. Results
Trial
Environment
Temp (°C)
Length (mm)
Change (%)
1
Refrigerator
4
49.8
-0.4
2
Basement
16
50.0
0.0
3
Living room
21
50.1
+0.2
4
Windowsill
29
50.3
+0.6
5
Attic
38
50.6
+1.2
6
Car dashboard
61
51.4
+2.8
Table 1. Widget length versus ambient temperature (baseline 50.0 mm).
Widget length increased roughly linearly with temperature, giving an estimated expansion
coefficient of about 1.0 x 10-3 per °C. Trial 6 also produced a faint smell of warm plastic, which
has been noted but not quantified.
4. Discussion
WDGT 2104 - Assignment 3
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The results suggest widgets are happiest between 16 and 21 °C, which coincidentally
matches the preferences of most people who own widgets. Sources of error include the ruler,
the observer, and the fact that widgets do not exist. Future work should examine humidity,
altitude, and whether a widget can be persuaded to shrink through positive reinforcement.
5. Conclusion
Keep your widgets out of the car.
References
[1] Nobody, N. (1999). An Introduction to Things That Are Not Real. Imaginary Press.
[2] Placeholder, A. (2024). "Widgets and Their Discontents." Journal of Filler Studies, 12(3),
1-9.
WDGT 2104 - Assignment 3
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