Self-Care and Resilience Dennis DC. Marquez Our focus for today… Theme: Self-Care and Resilience Description: Recognizing the importance of self-care for SPED parents and caregivers. Strategies for managing stress, practicing selfcompassion, and maintaining emotional well-being. Pressures of Parenthood A study on parenting and over-empathy . A 2014 American study found that mothers who scored high on an empathy test also showed the greatest physiological response when their children cried. However, mothers with high empathy had to watch their temper. Empathic parents are sometimes more likely to turn to harsh discipline when under stress. Pressures of Parenthood A study on parenting and over-empathy A 2013 Dutch study found that parents who had a strong emotional response to their children crying were also the most likely to overreact and use harsh disciplinary methods at home. Over-empathizing can cause an unfortunate stress reaction. Pressures of Parenthood When we take on our child’s feelings as if they are our own, we lose the ability to nurture the child. It’s important to remember that your child is not you, and help them learn to manage difficult feelings appropriately. Other parents and family issues -Balancing act with other siblings -Relationship between siblings -Medical and Financial issues -Self-growth and Stagnation -Social Stigma -Social Expectations -Parental Expectations -Education -Future -False hopes, “Sabi nila…” -Miracle, etc. “A condition is a lifelong situation that needs to be addressed so that we can prepare your child to be less dependent on others in the future.” Maintaining Emotional Well-being The Five Stages of the Grieving Process According to Kubler-Ross Pressures of Parenthood What is Stress? Stress is an essential part of life. Any experience or situation that makes you feel threatened or overwhelmed is a “stressor.” Without stress, we would fail to achieve our greatest accomplishments, because the ones we value most are usually stressful and require a great deal of effort. What is Stress? Good stress helps you to focus on your goals and complete important tasks. . Bad stress isn't productive and can halt your advancement and dampen your spirits. What is Stress? Stress feels uncomfortable, but not every uncomfortable feeling is stress. People use the word “stress” interchangeably with other terms such as worry, anxiety, and fear, but stress is our conviction that we won't be able to cope with the challenges we're facing. What is Stress? Stress can provoke fear, anxiety, and worry but each represents a different emotional reaction. What is Stress? Fear and anxiety . Where worry is a mental habit, fear is an instinctive reaction—usually in the face of a perceived threat. Fear is a survival trait, and there are good evolutionary reasons why we’re capable of feeling it. .. Our reactions to fear are grouped into four categories: . 1.Escape (flight) or avoidance (preflight). We run away from a threat if we can. . 2.Aggressive defense (the “fight” part of “fight or flight”). If we can’t escape or we don’t stand a good chance of victory, we may attack. . 3.Freezing/immobility. A valuable reaction if we’re trying to hide, or if we don’t want to antagonize someone who is unpredictable. . 4.Submission/appeasement. When the threat comes from within our own “herd,” the best option is sometimes to suppress our anger to avoid being rejected. What is Stress? What is Stress? It might feel like worrying or “thinking about” our problems is helpful, but that is not the same as “thinking through” our problems—in other words, confronting a situation and trying to address it. By actively problem-solving, we gain a greater sense of control. What is Stress? Managing Stress Stress is a natural part of being human. . It motivates us, provokes change, and encourages learning. Sometimes it's healthy to embrace what stress has to offer. Managing Stress How dangerous is stress? .. Many studies are showing that stress is bad for the body. . High stress levels are found to increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer, and high blood pressure. Managing Stress Studies on the effect of stress .. Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal argues that our problem isn’t exactly stress itself, but a “toxic relationship to stress.” . If we see stress as an enemy against which we are helpless, then science does show that we suffer ill effects. Managing Stress Studies on the effect of stress .. A 2006 American study found that a stressed attitude to our emotions—feeling we'll be harmed by or unable to cope with them—makes us more vulnerable to panic attacks and anxiety disorders. . If we get stressed about being stressed, that's when we suffer the worst effects. Managing Stress A healthier approach to stress .. We can also view stress as what McGonigal calls "a signal of meaning.” We don’t stress out about things that don’t matter to us; stress is a sign there’s something going on that we care about. Managing Stress A healthier approach to stress .. The feeling of fear is what provokes us to react to the situation, and it might mean we need to change our approach or create a new strategy to cope. Facing these uncomfortable feelings is healthy, and helps us adapt to the changing circumstances that are a normal part of life. . Rather than avoiding the stress, we can make good use of it. Managing Stress Stress is, fundamentally, an adaptive response to high-pressure situations. . By "adaptive,” scientists mean a process that helps us adapt to a situation and create a positive outcome. We adapt faster and better by learning not to be overwhelmed. . We can face stress and take back our sense of control by learning and adapting strategies over time. Managing Stress Practicing Self-compassion When you feel stressed, you need comfort, and the first person who can comfort you is yourself. . A 2005 British study found that self-compassion— having the same forgiving attitude toward ourselves that a kind person would show to others—deactivates the body’s alarm system. . Giving yourself some compassion is key to destressing. Practicing Self-compassion Three routes American psychologist Kristin Neff identifies three components we can use to keep our stress levels down: 1. Self-kindness. We value showing kindness to others, but often say things to ourselves that we’d never say to anyone else, like “You idiot!” If we treat ourselves with the compassion we extend to others, we’re likely to feel much better. Practicing Self-compassion Three routes American psychologist Kristin Neff identifies three components we can use to keep our stress levels down: 2. Common humanity. Everyone faces challenges in life. Rather than feeling isolated by our errors and problems, see them as a sign that we share a great deal with other people—an insight that can comfort by making us feel more connected Practicing Self-compassion Three routes American psychologist Kristin Neff identifies three components we can use to keep our stress levels down: 3. Mindfulness. We don’t always recognize how hard we’re being on ourselves; some of us even find it hard to notice how upset we’re feeling. Take a moment to acknowledge feelings with the respect they deserve. Practicing Self-compassion Maintaining Emotional Well-being The Five Stages of the Grieving Process According to Kubler-Ross Self-Care We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, but some methods are more productive than others. Coping is a broad concept, covering all the thoughts and actions we use to make a threatening situation more manageable. Psychology sorts coping methods into two basic types: “problem-focused” and “emotion-focused.” Self-Care Problem-focused coping. Where we have the power to change things, problem-focused coping is generally the better tactic. Methods include: . 1.Improving time management, allowing us time to make necessary changes. . 2.Analyzing the situation and what we can or cannot take on. . 3.Working extra hours to get through a crisis. (This is only a solution to a short-term problem; if long hours become routine, the problem is the routine itself.) . 4.Talking to someone who can help change the situation. If you can change the situation, the stressor may go away, or at least become less burdensome. Self-Care Effective emotion-focused methods include: . ✓ Getting social support. Studies confirm that the comfort of friends and family lowers our stress levels. ✓ Meditation and/or prayer. For people comfortable with these methods, they can be an effective way of improving their emotional stability. ✓ Writing—for instance, keeping a gratitude diary can help to improve our moods. ✓ Seeking out a therapist. The right treatment can be extremely helpful. Self-Care Resilience Resilience is not a personality trait, and no one is immune to the challenges of life. Resilience is “a dynamic and adaptive process,” as a European team of psychologists put it in 2013. Essentially, we can learn to be resilient. Resilience Resilience Question and Answer Thank You.
