How to Be A Human Lie Detector By Vanessa Van Edwards Please visit the ScienceofPeople.org for free video and article guides in addition to this book. 1 © 2013 Vanessa Van Edwards. All rights reserved. 2 Introduction: Have you ever thought someone was telling you a lie? Your intuition was probably right—on average people tell two to three lies in a ten-minute conversation. Even more frightening, 91% of people lie regularly at home and work. But we can detect these lies only about half of the time—no better than a coin toss. Learning how to decode and interpret nonverbal behavior such as facial expressions, gestures, physical movements and vocal tone is an integral part of communication. As much as 93% of interpersonal communication is nonverbal, yet we often base all of our interactions on verbal content alone. By using the latest scientific techniques summarized in this book, you will no longer doubt yourself or wonder helplessly if the person you are with is trying to deceive you. Research has shown you can significantly improve your lie spotting and people reading ability by learning how to read nonverbal behavior. All of the tips, cues and clues in this book are based on academic research. For a full list of my sources, you can see my citation section. Who Is This Book For? Whether you are a teacher, businessman, police officer, husband, gardener or mother, this book is for you. If you 3 have ever interacted with another person, this book can change the way you communicate with others. Interesting Fact: Extroverts lie more than introverts. Everyone should know more than 82% of lies go undetected. Businesses should know corporate fraud cost us $997 billion in the United States in 2011, which is 7% of total annual revenue. Parents should know college students lie to their moms one in every five interactions. Human resource professionals and entrepreneurs should know a third of all resumes contain false information. Managers should know one in five employees say they are aware of fraud in their workplace. Women should know men typically lie more often than females. The Good News: Lying is learned, so we can unlearn it. To test this fact, researchers left three year-olds in a room and told them not to peek at a concealed toy across the room. 90% of the children looked and when asked, 38% admitted that they broke the rules. 4 When researchers did the same experiment with five yearolds none of them admitted they broke the rules after peeking at the forbidden toy. Older children had learned, even at the young age of five, that they could get in trouble for telling the truth and decided to lie instead. Lie spotting is about getting back to truth. This book is not about teaching you to pick people’s behavior apart or point fingers at liars. It is about arming you with scientific principles to help you have more honest interactions, better communication and more trustworthy relationships. Interesting Fact: Researchers found that combining deception detecting techniques with background checks can reveal 32% more cases of past job dismissals, 60% more criminal convictions and 82% more cases of alcohol abuse during work hours. Our brain is much more adept at spotting lies than we realize. When our brain picks up on a lie subconsciously we often have what we call, an intuition, that something is wrong, but we are not sure what. The tools in this book will help you bring that subconscious realization forward so you know exactly what you are seeing. In one study, researchers had participants view 30 seconds of a mute video where a new professor was talking to his students. Just after that 30 second silent clip, the participants were able to correctly predict how well the teachers would do in their global evaluations at the end of the semester—just from a 30 second clip! 5 Even when the researchers shortened the clip to two seconds, participants were still able to predict how the teacher would do in their evaluations at the end of the semester. Our brains are incredibly accurate. Some people, nicknamed truth wizards, are able to naturally spot detection with incredible accuracy. Research from University of California found that 20 to 30% of these truth wizards had traumatic childhoods involving alcohol, an unstable home life, sexual, or emotional or physical abuse. Researchers in this study hypothesized that it was very important for these children to be able to read the adults around them in the unstable situations because their safety, and sometimes their life, depended on it. Our brains develop the ability to spot lies and hidden emotions as a way of self-protection. So, we are working with tools that our brain already knows, we just have to bring them forward. Do You Really Want to Know? When I tell people I am a behavioral investigator and write about human behavior—with an emphasis on human lie detection, there is a question I always get: Is human lie detection a blessing or a curse? It is a blessing to know when people are lying to you, but can feel like a curse when someone you thought you could trust turns out to be dishonest. In the end, I would always rather know the hard truth than be ignorantly blissful. This might not be the case for everyone. 6 Before diving into this book, you have to ask yourself: Are you prepared to see the hidden emotions in the people around you? You might not always like the emotions or lies you see. Interesting Fact: Since 1991, lifetime infidelity among men over aged 60 has doubled. Among women it has tripled. A Word of Caution The purpose of this book is not to turn you into a suspicious person. Quite the opposite, by arming yourself with the right tools, you can feel more confident to relax around people and trust that you know lies when you see them instead of being suspicious of everyone and every action happening around you. In fact, being overly suspicious will not serve you well. Research shows that people who score higher on measures of trust also spot lies better. That means it is better to be trusting and open-minded because suspicious people don’t catch liars and falsely accuse more often. Interesting Fact: 80% of lies go undetected. 7 What to Expect Learning to decode human behavior will completely change the way you interact and listen to others. If you choose to use the principles in this book you will start to notice nuances to communication and aspects of people you did not see before. True emotions that you had missed will now seem painfully obvious. It will be like watching people around you in High Definition. Facial expressions you never noticed will become clear, body language red flags will jump to your attention and voice tone discrepancies will sound like sirens in your head. You have to be ready for these changes. And be ready to be surprised. If you decide to dive deep into the world of body language sleuthing, people hacking and lie spotting then this book is your step-by-step guide. The tips in this book are based on the latest scientifically backed research on deception detection and nonverbal behavior. Interesting Fact: Adults lie in about one in five social interactions. College students lie in one in three social interactions. About Me: I have always been fascinated by people and what drives their behavior. As a behavioral investigator and author I am a research junkie. I love curating the latest scientific findings and translating them into bite-sized science that can be used in every day life. 8 In my columns for Forbes, CNN and the Huffington Post I often apply groundbreaking studies to modern day business and social trends. My website, ScienceOfPeople.org has an in depth selection of free articles, videos and tutorials for my readers and fellow body language detectives. I have a number of ebooks specifically written for the needs of entrepreneurs, human resource managers, actors, parents, sales teams, doctors and other business professionals. 9 10 Chapter 1: Baselining The first and most important step to human lie detection is baselining. A baseline is how someone acts when they are under normal, non-threatening conditions. It is how someone looks when they are telling the truth. The truth needs to represent fact or reality. A lie is when someone makes a false statement with the intent to deceive. Before we can pinpoint lies, we must be able to recognize truth. Interesting Fact: About 20 % of men and 15% of women under the age of 35 have cheated on their partner. It is even higher for people aged 18 to 25, with 30% of partners having cheated. When you want to better read a person’s emotions or spot when they lie, you will need to find their baseline, or notice how they look, sound, act and behave when they are telling the truth. For this book we will call the person you are trying to read “the subject.” How to Baseline: Step One: Neutral Topics, Neutral Context 11 In order to see how your subject behaves when being honest you want to discuss neutral topics. This is typically very easy when you just meet someone at a party, meeting or job interview. Start with a few non-threatening questions your subject would have no reason to lie about, like the weather, their name or their plans for the weekend. Anything that qualifies as small talk is usually safe. Step Two: Look for Physical Behavior While talking to the subject about neutral topics, take note of their physical behavior and characteristics. Here are the areas to which you should pay attention: -How do they hold their body? -What is their posture like? -Do they fidget? -What are their hand gestures? -Are their legs crossed? How are they sitting? -Do they blink a lot or have a nervous tick? -What are their facial expressions? Step Three: Listen for Verbal Behavior You also can listen for baseline behavior. Ask yourself the following questions: 12 -Is their voice high or low? -Do they laugh easily and what does it sound like? -Do they clear their throat or cough? -Do they naturally use a lot of ‘uhs’ or ‘ums’? Step Four: How Do They Express? If possible, it is very helpful to see how someone looks when they are excited. After asking a few neutral questions, I will often ask my subject about their passions or hobbies. In this way, you can see how they express themselves when they are telling the truth. For example a job interviewer might notice someone’s Dallas Cowboys key chain and ask if they are a fan. As the subject talks about her favorite team, her face might light up and her hands might become animated and expressive. Later the interviewer could pay attention to how the subject describes a favorite work project and see if the behavior is similar. Interesting Fact: 66% to 80% percent of college students admit to having cheated at some point in their schooling. Step Five: Dig Deeper After some easy banter, you should have a feeling for how the person acts, sounds and behaves when they tell the truth. Now you are ready to ask some deeper questions—whether 13 those are the tough questions in an interview, the important questions on a date or the curious question of a parent. The following chapters will explain in more detail what else to look for once you have found someone’s baseline. Remember, the more open-ended the question, the more material you will have to analyze. For example it is better to ask, “What are you doing this weekend?” which usually requires a more than one word answer. Instead of “Are you going to the game this weekend?” Step Six: Clusters and Red Flags There is no behavioral smoking gun that means a subject is lying. Even an obvious difference in behavior from the baseline is not enough to confirm someone is lying by itself. There are clues however. Every time a subject deviates from the baseline constitutes a ‘red flag’ --- or something of which you should be aware. Red flags also appear when you spot a hidden emotion (which you will learn in the following chapters). My rule of thumb is to take notice when I spot three red flags in one response. If you see a cluster of odd behaviors or changes in baselines you know you have stumbled upon a touchy topic or a lie—either one warrants further investigation later in the conversation. Optional: Get a Nervous Baseline 14 One of the biggest confusions lie spotters face is separating lies from nerves. This is why the context of the situation is very important. If a subject is on a job interview you might assume they are probably nervous, even when they are answering neutral questions. If you ask someone a tough or sensitive question, they might be nervous because the subject is difficult for them to discuss -- even if they are telling the truth. If you are trying to decode a subject when discussing difficult topics or in a tense situation, you need to be sure to get their ‘nervous baseline.’ This is how the subject looks when they are nervous, but still telling the truth. This is not difficult and often happens naturally. In a job interview for example, the person is likely already nervous during the first few neutral questions. In a social situation you can also find out how someone acts when they are nervous while telling the truth by bringing up sad or sensitive topics in the news. You will often see changes in the face and body when these topics come up that give you clues and a baseline to their tense or nervous body displays. Nervous baselining is important in high-pressure situations because these are the times when people often lie. Studies show that the larger the potential incentive, the more likely people are to lie and the more they expect others to lie. For example, many people who lie during negotiations for what they believe is a big stake item report feeling little or no guilt. 15 Here is an example of how nervous baselines work. Let’s say you would like to be able to better read your colleague, Wyatt, at the office: Step One: During a coffee break one day in the break room you ask Wyatt a few neutral questions about his plans for the weekend or what he is doing for lunch. Step Two: You notice Wyatt loosely holds his torso and leans back against the break room wall. He also nods his head a lot. These are his calm baseline behaviors. You notice he uses a medium voice tone and clears his throat every so often. Step Three: You ask Wyatt what he thinks about the new iPhone release—knowing he loves Apple products. You watch him step away from the wall and talk animatedly about waiting in line for hours outside the store. His voice gets louder and a few people turn to chuckle at his excitement. This is how he looks when he is excited or passionate. Step Four: Nervous Baseline You decide to also get a nervous baseline because the issue you would like to bring up is a bit sensitive. You ask Wyatt what he thinks about Ted getting fired last week for stealing from the company. This causes 16 him to lean towards you and cross his arms over his body in a stiff way. He drops his voice tone, but continues to nod and clear his throat as he had during the neutral questions. It seems a stiff upper body is what he shows when talking about tense topics, but everything else is the same as his normal baseline behavior. Step Five: Now you get to dig a little deeper into the subject about which you are most curious. You ask Wyatt about the big project last month and his contribution on the report. You have been suspicious he did not do as much as he claims. Sure enough, he stiffens his upper body— mimicking his nervous baseline response. So clearly, this is not a topic he is comfortable with. Step Six: This is red flag number one, because an honest person would not be uncomfortable talking about the big project if they had nothing to hide. Wyatt also begins to vigorously clear his throat, far more frequently than when he was nervous and when he was calm. This is most likely his ‘tell’ as we say in poker. This is red flag number two. As you will learn in the chapter on clusters, I like to look for at least three red flags before making a 17 prediction about someone’s deception. He then begins to scratch the back of his neck. In the body language chapter you will learn that this is a self-soothing gesture and is often shown by liars when they are trying to keep themselves calm. This is red flag number three and almost certainly means he is concealing something about his activity with the big project. This is just one example of how baselining can work in an everyday interaction. In the following chapters you will become more adept looking for tells in the face, in the body and with vocal tone. Baselining will also help you find your three red flags. Baselining can be done very quickly with a single question, or in depth with longer interviews, and will get easier with practice. Eventually you will not even have to think about baselining, it will become second nature to you in the beginning of interactions. The Importance of Rapport Baselining not only helps you read your subject, but it also lets your subject know you are paying attention to them. This is a great rapport builder. When you are paying close attention to someone, they feel you are more invested and interested in them—which you are! This breeds loyalty and strong relationships. The importance of building rapport cannot be understated. People tend to tell more lies in situations where they feel uncomfortable or disconnected. 18 If they have a connection to you and think you are trustworthy they will want to help you. 19 20 Chapter 2: Microexpressions and the Face Most of us look at our conversation partner’s face far more than any other part of the body. The face is a veritable map of human emotions—if you know how to read it. Human emotions are shown primarily in the face, whereas the body merely shows how one is coping with the emotion. Because of this, the face is the best place to look for lies and hidden emotions. Interesting Fact: Nine out of ten job applicants overemphasize or completely make up their positive traits. Our brains also pay a lot of attention to the face and make incredibly quick—and accurate snap judgments just by looking at someone’s face. In one study, researchers had participants look at pictures of Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) while their brain activity was being monitored. Certain faces caused people’s amygdala’s to light up—the area of the brain where fear is processed. When asked about these faces, participants said they were most likely better leaders. Subconsciously we believe the people who cause us to feel afraid, are likely more powerful and would therefore make better leaders! The most interesting part of the experiment—the ones who caused the most fear and participants thought were the best leaders also made the most profits. Their brain was right! Participants were able to accurately predict leadership abilities and profits just by looking at someone’s face. 21 So, now that we know the face is important, what do you have to know? Microexpressions: Unlike our words, our facial expressions are very hard to control because they are based on emotions. They can be controlled if we consciously think about them, but are almost impossible to control all the time, especially when we feel an intense emotion come on quickly. A microexpression is a very brief, involuntary facial expression displayed on the face of humans according to the emotions being experienced. They often occur as fast as 1/15 to 1/25 of a second. Prolonged facial expressions can be a bit easier to fake, but it is exceedingly difficult to fake a microexpression. Dr. Paul Ekman, whom you could say is the father of the field of microexpressions, discovered over 10,000 facial expressions. Critically he has confirmed seven universal expressions with specific meanings no matter the subject’s age, sex, or culture. These universal expressions are: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, and contempt. Dr. Ekman realized everyone from remote tribes in Papa New Guinea to Japanese businessmen to American teenagers make these seven same facial expressions while experiencing corresponding emotions. 22 He also found congenitally blind individuals—those blind since birth--also make the same expressions even though they have never seen other people’s faces. Learning to read the seven microexpressions is incredibly helpful in understanding the people in our lives and their thoughts. Below, I describe each of the seven emotions. I highly encourage you to practice the expressions in the mirror so you can experience for yourself how they look, and more importantly, how they feel. You will find that if you make one of the universal facial expressions, you begin to feel that same emotion yourself! Emotions not only cause facial expressions, facial expressions also can cause emotions. This can be very helpful when trying to figure out the meaning of someone’s facial expression. When I speak with someone and they make a non-universal expression, I will try to mimic it and see what emotions surface within me. This is a very simple way of literally feeling as your subject feels. Here is a detailed description of the seven universal facial expressions and somewhat embarrassing pictures of me making them. I hope they are helpful! 1) Surprise: Surprise is the briefest of emotions. It occurs when the subject is shocked about something said or done. 23 -The brows are raised and curved—they should look like upside-down U’s -Skin below the brow is stretched -There can be horizontal wrinkles across the forehead -Eyelids are opened, with the white of the eye showing above and below -Jaw drops open and teeth are parted. The lips, jaw and mouth stays loose 2) Fear: Fear is shown when someone feels terror or apprehension. This is easy to see in action if you have the subject watch a horror movie. 24 -Brows are raised and drawn together, usually in a flat line -Wrinkles in the forehead are in the center between the brows, not across -Upper eyelid is raised, but the lower lid is tense and drawn up -Upper eye has white showing, but not the lower white -Mouth is open and lips are slightly tensed or stretched and drawn back 3) Disgust: Disgust happens when someone feels repulsion or aversion. 25 -Upper lip is raised -Nose is wrinkled -Cheeks are raised -Lines show below the lower lid 4) Anger: Anger happens when someone feels rage or extreme irritation. I also have one of a man here so you can see that even though the faces (and sexes) are different, the same characteristics apply. 26 -The brows are lowered and drawn together -Vertical lines appear between the brows -Lower lid is tensed -Eyes hard stare or bulging -Lips can be pressed firmly together with corners down or square shape as if shouting -Nostrils may be dilated -The lower jaw juts out 27 5) Happiness: Happiness is the easiest emotion to fake because a smile comes naturally to us. You can still discern true happiness or joy when you see the muscles activated on the outside corners of the eye (crows feet). -Corners of the lips are drawn back and up in a smile -Mouth may or may not be parted, teeth exposed -A crease runs from outer nose to outer lip -Cheeks are raised 28 -Lower lid may show wrinkles or be tense -Crows feet near the outside of the eyes 6) Sadness: Sadness, sorrow or unhappiness is the hardest emotion to fake. It is difficult to engage the lips in a frown or pull the corners of your eyebrows up without having a genuine feeling of sadness. -Inner corners of the eyebrows are drawn up -Corner of the lips are drawn down -Jaw is drawn back -Lower lip pouts out 7) Contempt or Hatred: Contempt, disdain, scorn or hatred look very similar to a smirk, and is often used as a pretense for being happy for 29 someone to cover up jealousy. It is a simple one-sided mouth raise. Once you practice these emotions yourself, see if you can detect them in the people in your life. You can also watch reality TV as practice. I have a number of videos on my ScienceOfPeople.org demonstrating microexpressions in the real world. Interesting Fact: Dr. John Gottman found contempt can be the biggest predictor of divorce. When he interviewed couples, he realized he could predict with 90% accuracy which couples would divorce based on which ones showed contempt in their interviews. Here are a few additional notes about the seven universal microexpressions: 30 • Surprise and fear are often confused, as they are similar emotions. It is very important to know the difference between these two emotions. Think of the question, “Did you know that Jim cheated on Laura?” A look of surprise on your significant other’s face would mean something much different than fear. Surprise would be an appropriate reaction to finding out about someone cheating. Fear might cause you to ask some additional questions about your significant other’s knowledge or behavior. The easiest way to tell the difference is by watching the eyebrows— surprise has upside down U’s and fear usually has eyebrows in a flat line. • Anger can be confused with determination or concentration. This is why it is important to baseline someone and take note of how they look when they are concentrating, nervous or excited. The seven universal microexpressions are the same for everyone, but concentration can look vaguely like anger if you do not pay attention. • Sometimes knowing which emotion you are seeing is just as important as an emotion you are NOT seeing. For example, if you accuse your subject of breaking an office rule and they don’t show surprise they probably knew they did something wrong and are afraid of getting caught. If you tell a friend some good news and they do not show genuine happiness they might be covering up feelings of jealousy. 31 Below I have two side pictures of a real smile and a fake one. Can you tell which smile is real? Hint: It’s all in the crows feet! A. B. 32 Answer: B. This is the real smile because you can see the muscles along the sides of the eye are activated (crows feet). A Lying Face We discussed how to find hidden emotions in the face, but there are also ways to tell if someone is lying with certain special facial clues. The most important part of detecting lies through the face is to understand how we try to control the face when we lie. When someone lies they typically first think about the words they use and what they should say. Next, they usually try to put their face in an appropriate facial expression—if they are faking happiness they will try to smile, if they are feigning surprise they will usually widen their eyes. Most people are poor at trying to control their face and have no idea what expression they should even be attempting to portray. Nonverbal knowledge is not commonly known. Knowing these two things that people cannot control their facial expressions and that they don’t know what faces to make when they lie helps us guess what a lying face might look like. There is one more thing that we need to know about lying and the face: Which muscles are the easiest to control on command. As a general rule it is easier to control the bottom half of the face, especially the mouth, than it is to control the top half of the face—eyes, forehead and cheeks. So, if you suspect someone is lying to you and you notice any of these facial muscle red flags, its time to dig a little deeper: 33 • They have very little facial movement on the upper part of the face. • They have incongruous movement when they are smiling—a one sided mouth raise or an uneven smile • They are smiling, but their eyes or eyebrows show a completely different emotion. Perhaps their eyes are wide in terror or their eyebrows are lowered in anger. In other words, the person is smiling, hoping to distract you from the emotion they actually fear which is truthfully manifesting in the upper part of their face. Reality television is actually a great vehicle for practicing spotting smiles that are hiding true emotions shown in the upper part of the face. Especially during reality shows that involve contestants getting eliminated, you often see rejected contestants smile, hoping to cover their sadness, which is shown in their sad eyes (inner corners of the eyebrows pulled down). Facial Lying Red Flags: -Little movement in the top half of the face. -Incompatible movement between the top and bottom of the face (The subject smiles, but their eyes are narrowed in anger and their crows feet are not engaged.) -An asymmetrical expression. This is usually exhibited when someone is faking an emotion. For example, people often half smile or smirk when they 34 are pretending to be happy—not only is this not a full smile, but it also is the microexpression for contempt, double red flag! The contempt microexpression. -The timing between words and facial expressions is off—the subject says he is surprised and then makes the corresponding surprised facial expression a second later. This should happen concurrently. 35 Watch out for odd microexpressions at the wrong time. All of these facial reading tips can be practiced—rehearse with yourself in the mirror, watch some reality television or try to baseline your friends and family. Once you memorize the universal facial microexpressions you will see them everywhere. It is the easiest place to start building your liedetection ability. 36 37 Chapter 3: Body Language When people lie, they have a lot to concentrate on and often forget about controlling what their body is saying. A liar has to: -Know the truth -Make up a false story -Convince you of the false story and change the story or details based on your reactions. -Keep the false facts straight in their head -Try to think how an honest person would say it and then try to portray that emotion. -Try to control their face during the lie -Try to control their body during the lie -Try to adjust their voice tone and pitch to be what an honest person does These are a lot of different things to keep straight and this is why liars forget to control their body—they don’t have enough brain power! The easiest way to review body language is to start at the feet and work our way up through each body part. As we move through different body parts I will describe each part’s corresponding kinesics (physical movements) and haptics (touching behaviors). At the end of the chapter I also will review proxemics (body distance between people and objects). 38 Before I review each part of the body, I want to explain two important body language behavior categories. 1) Blocking Behavior: You will see blocking behavior occur in almost all body parts. Blocking behavior happens when the subject feels threatened or encounters a topic they do not like. It means they are uncomfortable, in disagreement or feel disbelief. In the last chapter we talked about eye blocking. This is powerful because people actually close or rub their eyes to block out that what they do not like. You will see many more examples of blocking in the body parts below. 2) Pacifying Behavior: Unlike blocking—where someone is trying to block out what is happening, pacifying happens when someone is trying to calm themselves down or self-soothe. A pacifying behavior is usually what happens after someone is in a blocking behavior situation. They are ill at ease, reacting negatively to something said or done. In the last chapter I mentioned that rubbing the tongue along the teeth is a self-soothing or pacifying behavior. Rubbing or stroking is ingrained in us from childhood to be a calming action because as children our parents often rubbed our backs or heads while rocking us to sleep. We will self-stroke in various non-sexual ways to calm ourselves down even as adults in public situations. Here are some other pacifying behaviors you will read about in greater depth in the rest of the chapter: 39 -Rubbing or stroking the neck, forehead or cheeks (like a parent does to a baby to calm down). -Touching or stroking the arms or rubbing palms together. -Playing with jewelry or hair. -Licking lips or running tongue along the teeth. -Running hands along the outside of the thighs. -Hands wrapped in shirt or scarf. -Picking ‘dirt’ out from under nails. -Squeezing or pinching skin on hands or arms. -Tapping fingers. -Picking cuticles. -Cracking knuckles or stretching and pulling on fingers. 40 Cracking knuckles is a pacifying behavior. Feet Feet might be the most honest part of the body because liars often forget to control them. Evolutionarily they also are the part of the body that reacts first in fight or flight response, so controlling them is very difficult. People don’t think to control their feet, instead pouring their energy into verbal content and making their upper body presentable. It is a great idea to take notice of your subject’s feet during baselining—I highly encourage job interviewers to use glass tables or no table at all. I tell poker players to use glass tables whenever possible as people tend to jiggle their feet with excitement when they have a good hand. 41 Look for these behaviors when baselining and then look for changes later on: -The rate at which your subject taps or jiggles their feet. This is an example of someone pointing their feet in the opposite direction of the person they are speaking with. You can be sure that they do not want to be a part of the conversation. -The direction of your subject’s feet and to which direction they point. People often subconsciously point their feet towards the exit when they want to leave. Interesting Fact: Studies have shown that when jurors do not like a witness they turn their feet towards the nearest exit. 42 -People make an L-shape with their feet when they are trying to be polite and stay engaged, but actually really want to leave. L-Shaped feet shows this person is not fully engaged in the conversation. They literally have one foot out of the interaction. -The starters stance is when someone has one foot back and one foot forward and their heels are off the floor. This looks like someone is about to start a race and usually signifies that someone is impatient or motivated to get started. 43 Starters stance means someone is ready to bolt. -When someone points their toes up it usually means they feel optimistic and excited. In fact studies that looked at people diagnosed with clinical depression found that those patients rarely exhibited this nonverbal behavior because they are depressed. Interesting Fact: When we are attracted to or interested in someone we often point our feet towards them when standing in a group. It is important to pay attention to the above foot behaviors to see if there is a difference from the baseline when tough topics come up. Dr. Paul Ekman discovered the number of unconscious foot movements drastically increased when people lie. As a 44 general rule, people move their feet when they are nervous. But again, in order to not confuse this with excited jiggling you want to get someone’s baseline first. Reversing this situation, if you have a choice in your own office, you are better off getting a wooden desk with a panel in front so no one can see your own foot movements. Legs The legs are the body part that grounds us and moves us through the world. In general, when we feel upset or threatened we widen our legs to claim territory and get ready for an attack. The wider the legs the more confident or dominant the person feels. On the other hand, if someone has their legs tightly pressed together or compactly crossed, they feel vulnerable, shy or unsure. When you see someone splay their legs it means they are trying to gain dominance, stability and control. If you watch people experience disagreement they almost never have their legs crossed. Instead they will often have their feet spread wide as adrenaline pumps through their bloodstream. Men do this to assert dominance or control in meetings or on dates. In Western movies cowboys almost always stand with their feet incredibly wide and thrust their crotch forward in gun duels to demonstrate the ultimate manly display. 45 Men take up space when they want to claim territory. It can be a positive mark of confidence as well as a negative sign of dominance depending on context and accompanying behaviors. Interesting Fact: Female law enforcement officers are often taught to splay their legs and widen their stance to look more in control. Interesting Fact: During World War II Germans could spot American spies when they sat in this L Cross position. It became popular in the states after cowboys in Western movies used it, but had not caught on in Germany. 46 Torso Torso behavior is easier to isolate if you speak to someone sitting behind a desk. Here are some torso body language clues you can spot: The Lean: The torso or body trunk will actually lean towards people or subjects they are interested in. Conversely they will lean away if they feel threatened or hear something unfavorable. For especially damaging lies, you will often see liars lean back as they speak the lie, as if they subconsciously want to move away from the lie. In Presidential debates you will also see candidates lean back when their opponent accuses them of wrongdoing or issues a false charge. Suprasternal Notch: Touching the suprasternal notch is comforting for both men and women (men tend to touch their tie which lies directly over the suprasternal notch). 47 This is the point right at the hollow of the neck where the collarbones meet. People touch this area when they feel distressed, threatened or insecure. Touching the suprasternal notch is a soothing gesture. Women will touch the spot with their fingers or rub a necklace that falls on that area. Men will often adjust their tie (which lies right above the suprasternal notch). The Turtle: Sometimes people will inch their shoulders up towards their ears and clasp their hands to their sides. This happens when people lose confidence or are embarrassed. They are literally trying to retreat into their imaginary shell, just like a turtle, to make themselves look smaller. Dogs do this when they are punished. Kids sitting outside the principal’s office are almost always in the turtle position. Interesting Fact: If you watch security camera videos of shoplifters right before they steal, they often try to make their body as compact as possible so as not to be noticed. Air Pull: Have you ever seen someone pull their collar away from their neck as if to get more air? Of course people do this when they feel warm, but they also do this when they feel uncomfortable or nervous with a topic. Women will also pull their hair off their neck. This behavior is due to nerves causing adrenaline release, which in turn makes blood pump faster, causing us to feel warm. 48 Object Block: Holding an object in front of our torso makes us feel more secure and protected. Teens frequently walk school hallways holding a notebook to their chest (even when they have a backpack capable of carrying their books) because it makes them feel more secure. In business situations people place their coffee cup and put it in front of them when talking about a difficult topic. Notice when people pick up items and place them between themselves and the subject—it is usually not accidental. Heavy Breathing: This one is fairly obvious. When we are nervous or anxious our body tries to bring more oxygen to the muscles, blood and brain to prepare to fight or flee. We breathe more heavily and our chest rises and falls more acutely. Body Hug and Crossed Arms: 49 Crossed arms protects our vital organs. When subjects feel insecure, worried, scared or anxious, they frequently cover their chest with their arms or wrap their body in a kind of self-hug. They do this because it protects vital organs. People will tell you “they just feel more comfortable with crossed arms.” Well of course they do! If their arms are crossed, their vital organs are protected which lowers their heart rate and makes them feel more relaxed. This is a position of self-defense and is exactly why it is comfortable. Neck: Anytime someone touches his or her neck it is most likely a self-soothing or pacifying behavior. A neck touch indicates stress, high emotionality, high anxiety or worry. Again this behavior does not mean a lie is being told, but it does signify 50 the person is anxious about the current topic. When people massage their neck it lowers their heart rate and calms them down. *I have one friend who touches her neck constantly because she is an anxious person in general. Her baseline behavior includes frequent neck touching. In her case I do not pay much attention because I know it is normal behavior. Arm Behavior Our arms serve to protect our trunk and vital organs from threat. When cross our arms on our chest we are usually reacting to some external threat, and subconsciously protect ourselves. We often cross our arms when we hear something threatening, confrontational or when we feel vulnerable. Interesting Fact: Hitler used to raise his right arm in salute, but almost always had his left arm in front of his crotch. Subconsciously this could have happened because he was missing his left testicle and he wanted to protect the area. Unfortunately crossing our arms isn’t just a defensive posture, but the position also makes us feel more closeminded. This is the same concept as the face--not only do our emotions cause body language behaviors, but body language can also activate certain emotions. 51 Arm crossing compounds our already close-minded and fearful attitude. When you see someone cross their arms, you can help move them to a more comfortable mindset by asking them to sit down (if they are standing), or handing them a glass of water (if they are sitting) to get them to physically uncross their arms and out of the defensive mindset. The opposing behavior to crossed arms occurs when we swing and move our arms freely. For example, children are more mentally free and tend to have freer range of motion with their arms. Typically, the more arm use you see the happier and more confident the person is. Interesting Fact: When athletes win a race they almost always raise their arms and chin to the sky. Even blind athletes do this after finishing a race, even though they never saw others do this. It seems to be an inherent response to winning, and is the body language of pride and confidence. Territorial Claims: When a subject puts their arm around another chair or spreads their arms out on a table they are putting on a territorial display of control and dominance. You will see people do this in business scenarios when they want to show they are in the power position. You also see men act this way on dates to assert dominance. Another way to assess how confident someone feels is by watching where they place their elbows in a chair with arms. If they place their elbows on the inside of a chair, taking up as little space as possible, this usually denotes low self-esteem. 52 53 Chapter 4: Vocal Displays, Voice Tone and Language Patterns Interesting Fact: Many studies have shown the more a child is punished, the more likely they are to lie. What we say might not be important as how we say it. Voice tone, vocal patterns and word choice are great clues for spotting lies and hidden emotions. In a 2004 study researchers found that liars are much more talkative and use a third more words than people telling the truth. This is because liars tend to provide more and more detail to convince you of their lie. The most effective lie detection technique is to stay quiet and listen. You want to see if and how the other person fills the silence. And then continue to ask open-ended questions Interesting Fact: 85% of college age couples lied about prior relationships. We intuitively know to ask open-ended questions and search for deeper meaning when we think we are being lied to. To test this point researchers had two groups of people participate in online chats. In one group people were told the truth. In another people were told lies by the other person chatting with them. The group being lied to asked far more questions than the group hearing the truth. Somehow people knew there was 54 something fishy going on and kept digging deeper. This is exactly how you should behave in a situation where you want the truth—keep quiet until they stop talking and then continue to ask open-ended questions. Phone calls and person-to-person interaction is where the most lies happen. A study conducted over a weeklong period found there were lies in: 37% of phone calls 27% of face to face 21% of IM chats 14% of emails Researchers think this is because people do not like lying ‘on paper’ where it can be saved and re-shared. This is why it is always good to follow up in-person meetings with a summary email the subject can confirm. There are a few things to look out for when speaking to someone on the phone or in person before following up in writing. Let’s review some of the verbal clues for deception in conversation. Verbal Clues to Deception 1. Delayed Responses When people delay their response by repeating your question, or say things like “let me think about that,” they are often stalling for time to concoct their lie. They might also delay with parrot statements or by repeating your own previous words. Delayed responses might also avoid answering all together, “Is everyone having to answer this?” or “I’m so busy right now I don’t think I can get into this 55 with you.” These are all avoidance answers and should be seen as red flags. They might also say, “Let me think” or “As far as I can recall.” These both delay the response. An honest person will want the truth out as soon as possible. 2. Answering with Generalizations Another way people delay their response to buy time to think about their lie is by answering with a sweeping generalization. This is a way of avoiding having to flat out lie. For example, a manager could ask their employee, “Did you steal from the company?” and the employee could answer, “I don’t believe in stealing.” Or “How could you ask me that?” These are all red flags for deception. 3. Brainstorming with You Honest people will often help you brainstorm suspects and they are cooperative. They are more than willing to talk to you about the topic because they do not feel guilt or fear they have something to hide. Guilty people will try to get off the topic as soon as possible and then show relief once the topic is changed. 4. Punishment Recommendations If you ask an honest person what they think the punishment should be for the crime you are talking about, they will most likely be strict. If you ask a guilty person, they will suggest leniency because they are the one who did it. This is a strategy used by some police with suspects they believe are guilty. Beware: Pathological liars can be extremely manipulative and they might suggest even harsher 56 punishments for themselves because they think of themselves as immune to punishment. 5. Emphasis Statements Liars tend to use bolstering statements like “Swear to God” or “Let me be honest.” Truth tellers do not use these because they do not need to bolster what they are saying—it is already true. Interesting Fact: Studies found people lie in one in ten interactions with their spouses. However, this is far higher for interactions with romantic partners who are not spouses. Non-married romantic partners lie in one in three interactions! However, even though spouse lie less, they do tell the grandest lies. 6. Distancing From the Lie In both emails and speech, people distance themselves from their lie by not using pronouns or people’s names. If asked, “How did you like the dinner?” They might say “Real good,” or “Liked it.” Another form of distancing language used by liars is when liars say ‘that house,’ instead of ‘my house’ or ‘that woman’ instead of ‘Monica Lewinsky.’ 7. Non-Contracted Statements Subconsciously, honest people want to tell the truth as soon as possible. This typically means they use contractions when 57 they speak—don’t instead of do not. Liars don’t use contractions because they want to emphasize the ‘not.’ When thinking quickly liars will often add a simple “no” or “not” in front of the real truth because it is easier than coming up with a complex fib. For example, Bill Clinton said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” instead of “I didn’t.” 8. Story-Telling Honest people typically tell a story with sensory details and don’t sound rehearsed. Liars rehearse their story and usually do not have as many sensory details because it did not actually happen. They also usually have a long built up prologue, whereas honest people get right through to the meat of the story. Some researchers suggest having liars draw out the story after telling it. Liars have a very hard time drawing out sketches of places and people who aren’t real. Honest people (even if they aren’t good drawers) can do very quick crude drawings because they can draw from a real picture in their mind. Researchers had one group of subjects participate in a fake espionage game and another group pretend they participated in the game. Then the researchers asked both subjects to draw certain details of the experience. The biggest differences between the liars’ drawings and the honest peoples’ drawings were: -80% of truth tellers drew the other person in the situation in their drawings while liars only drew the other person 13% of the time. -53% of the truth tellers drew from a shoulder-camera view while liars drew from the overhead view (19% only 19% drew from overhead?). This makes sense because honest people drew from their own genuine 58 perspective. Liars made up their story so they could only draw the entire scene from the overhead perspective. 9. Voice Tone A woman’s voice pitch tends to rise when she lies while a man’s voice pitch tends to drop. This is why it is important to notice someone’s baseline voice pitch. If you notice a significant difference when a given topic comes up, this can be a red flag. 10. Would, Should, Could Liars will also use would, should, could instead of saying I didn’t. For example, someone might say “I would never cheat.” Instead of “I didn’t cheat.” This is a subconscious way of avoiding having to lie. 11. Stop Start Sentences Liars will often start a sentence and then stop in the middle, as if they are confirming the thought in their head or making sure it matches the story. They might also waver back and forth on an idea. They can jump from one opinion or fact to the next because they are unsure of what you believe and what will be convincing. You might also notice they have a varied speech rate in between their sentences. Sometimes they speak fast and sometimes they slow down. Liars do this as their brain tries to process the lie on the way to their mouth. 12. Character Testimony 59 Sometimes liars will try to convince you that they are a good person or reference their character instead of giving you information on the lie. For example, when asking a guilty person if they stole the money, they might say, “My friends will tell you I’m really honest.” They could also mention something that is truthful to distract you from the lie. They could say. “Someone stole money? But, I just got a raise.” Interesting Fact: Extroverts lie more than shy people and persist longer in their lies. This is another subtle difference between liars and truth tellers. Liars are trying to convince you of something, whereas honest people are trying to convey something. If someone is telling you the truth they are simply conveying what happened. The verbal clues above will help you decipher if someone is convincing or conveying. Voice Tone and Bonding Being attuned to voice tone is also important for bonding. In one study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that when employees mirrored the voice patterns and verbal activity level during interviews this built rapport and made them more conversationally engaging. 60 In fact, those that focused on verbal rapport building tactics, received nearly 30% better terms during employment negotiation! 61 Chapter 5: Clues to Behavior Now that we have reviewed all the areas of the body and typical verbal patterns of deceit, I want to remind you two of the most important aspects of lie detection are: • • There is no “smoking gun” that means someone is lying. You have to look at clusters of clues called “red flags”. Even though it is good to know frequent lying habits, you must establish someone’s baseline behavioral patterns to know if the behavior is unique to them. In this chapter I want to review the most common clues to deceit and how they appear as clusters of red flags during interactions. Most Common Lying Gestures Frozen Bodies: When people freeze their upper bodies it is usually because their limbic response is taking over. When someone knows they have to lie, they typically feel fearful and their limbic brain tells their body to freeze so as not to attract attention. Odd Smiles: It is easier to control the bottom half of our face, so liars usually actively put their mouths in whatever feigned expression they want you to believe. Remember the one sided smile is actually the micro-expression for contempt. Don’t confuse this for happiness! It means the person feels disdain or hatred at what you are talking about. 62 Lip Pursing: People purse their lips when they are holding back information. They are literally trying to hold it in. If you see this behavior it is a good idea to ask some open-ended questions to find out what is being held back. Lip-pursing is a big red flag because it usually means someone is holding something back or is unhappy with the way things are going. Nodding: If someone is saying something positive they usually nod their head in a “yes” gesture. If they are saying something negative they should be shaking their head “no”. If their head 63 movement does not match their verbal message, it is a red flag and a signal to dig a little deeper. Delayed or Mismatched Behavior: Honest people have great synchronicity between words and gestures. They say they are sad and instantly a frown appears, they say they are excited and can’t stop smiling. Watch out for people who have delayed or mismatched reactions. If they say they are angry, but their eyebrows rise in surprise this is a red flag. If they say they are worried but then make a worried microexpression, this is a red flag. Eye Blocking: When people squint, rub or shield their eyes, they are hearing or saying something they do not want to see or acknowledge. One-Sided Lifts: I mentioned that any kind of uneven behavior, whether a onesided mouth or eyebrow raise or a one-sided shoulder shrug, is a red flag for deceit. These are fairly easy to spot when they differ from someone’s baseline. Nervous Gestures: You should pay extra attention any time a subject exhibits nervous behavior as it indicates they may lie about the topic. Here are some common nervous behaviors mentioned in previous chapters: -Hand wringing -Tapping feet 64 -Inward curled feet -Biting the inner cheek, lips, nails or pens -Sweating or heavy breathing -Tightly crossed arms -Fidgeting with jewelry or cufflinks How We React to Our Own Lies We subconsciously have reactions to our own lies. We have a subconscious aversion to lying even though everyone does it with great frequency. Here are a few things liars subconsciously do in negative reaction to their own lies: 1. Cover the Mouth People will typically cover or wipe their mouths after a lie because they do not like what they are saying. 2. Moving Back After telling a lie you will often see the liar lean their body back as if they are trying to get away from the incriminating statement. They might also scoot back their chair. 3. Tingling Nose Scientists at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago found that when you lie, chemicals are released in nasal tissue causing slight swelling. This increased blood flow can cause slight itching. When people 65 lie they tend to rub their nose. Perhaps the Pinocchio fable was not so far off. Interesting Fact: Alan Hirsch and Charles Wolf watched Bill Clinton’s testimony during the Monica Lewinsky trial and tracked that when Clinton touched his nose far more times when he lied than when he was telling the truth. This example shows why baselining is very important. 66 67 Conclusion and Other Resources: It is important to remember there is no one expression that means someone is lying. Every behavior must be taken in context and related to other clues. Reading people also takes focus and concentration. You cannot effectively read people while looking at iPhones or multi-tasking. Giving someone your full focus will not only help you read them better, but will also show them you are genuinely interested in them—which is the best foundation for true relationships and connection. Check out my website to get my free newsletter with tips and tricks, videos and other resources, including ebooks on body language and nonverbal behavior in: Business Public Speakers, Presenters and Keynotes How to Nail An Awesome Job Human Resource Professionals Entrepreneurs Sales Female Body Language Male Body Language Doctors and Healthcare Professionals 68 Actors To download these ebooks visit: ScienceofPeople.org 69 70 Appendix 5: The Best Websites on Human Lie Detection I love writing and researching human lie detection, nonverbal communication and human behavior, but I also have an amazing community of fellow authors and writers with my passion and I wanted to give them a shout out. Here are my favorite authors and blogs on human lie detection and nonverbal behavior: 1. Eyes for Lies The writer of Eyes for Lies, Renee is a professional deception and credibility expert. She teaches law enforcement in her courses and has a fantastic blog of resources. Her track record is particularly impressive–where she logs liars she has caught before the truth was discovered. 2. Liespotting Pamela Meyer writes Liespotting the blog and has just come out with her book which is fantastic. She also has podcasts and videos on her website, which are full of helpful insights. 3. Paul Ekman Paul Ekman not only writes about nonverbal behavior but has really led the research in this area. His studies and books are groundbreaking and delve deep into both lie detection and nonverbal behavior–no light reading found here! You can also see his blog about the TV Show Lie to Me where he talks about the real science in each episode. 71 4. Science of People.org Our blog takes some of the best research on human lie detection, nonverbal communication and human behavior from around the world and puts it into easy to understand articles and videos for our readers. 5. Joe Navarro Joe’s book What Every BODY Is Saying is a great overview of nonverbal communication and the body. 6. Spying for Lying Spying for Lying always has very current and up to date videos and commentary on news coverage. It’s a great way to stay up on what’s happening in the nonverbal world. 7. Statement Analysis Mark McClish has this informative website about lying and nonverbal behavior. His news videos are also very informative. 8. Kevin Hogan Kevin Hogan is a body language expert and has many articles (as well as workshops) on nonverbal behavior and communication. 9. The Political Lie Detector 72 This is a really interesting angle on lie detection and focuses more on the political sides of things. They take the public pulse by distributing polls, quizzes, and surveys to users. 73 74 Citations Navarro, Joe, and Marvin Karlins. What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-reading People. New York, NY: Collins Living, 2008. Ekman, Paul. Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage. New York: Norton, 1985. Pease, Allan, and Barbara Pease. The Definitive Book of Body Language. New York: Bantam, 2006. Meyer, Pamela. Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception. New York: St. Martin's, 2010. Craig, David. Lie Catcher: Become a Human Lie Detector in under 60 Minutes. Newport, N.S.W.: Big Sky, 2011. Aldert Vrij. Detecting Lies and Deceit. (Chichester England: John Wiley & Sons, 2000) 93-100. Mark deTurck, “Training Observers to Detect Spontaneous Deception: Effects of Gender,” Communication Reports 4 (Summer 1991): 81-89. K. Fiedler and I. Walka, “Training Lie Detectors to Use Nonverbal Cues Instead of Global Heuristics,” Human Communication Research 20 (December 1993): 199-223. T. A. Russell, E. Chu, and M. L. 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Bennett, “Who’s Lying?” University of California First Annual Compliance and Audit Symposium, San Francisco, February 2009. Z. Hussain, A. B. Sekuler, and P. J. Bennett, “Superior Identification of Familiar Visual Patterns a Year After Learning,” Psychological Science 22 (June 2011): 724-30. D. Matsumoto, H.S. Hwang, L. Skinner, and M. Frank, “Evaluating Truthfulness and Detecting Deception,” FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin, June 2011. K. J. Haley and D. M. T. Fessler, “Nobody’s Watching? Subtle Cues Affect Generosity in an Anonymous Economic Game,” Evolution and Human Behavior 26 (2005): 245-56. G. A. Van Kleef et al., “Breaking the Rules to Rise to Power: How Norm Violators Gain Power in the Eyes of Others,” Social Psychological and Personality Science (September 2011): 500-507. A. D. Evans and K. Lee, “Promising to Tell the Truth Makes 8 to 16 Year-Olds More Honest,” Behavioral Sciences & The Law 28 (November – December 2010): 801-11. J. Kuroyama, C. Wright, T. Manson, and C. 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