Kiara’s Awakening
Once upon a time, were three young ladies. There was Lana, a soft-spoken girl with blue eyes
and hair of a fine shade of gold; Lauren, who radiated confidence and academic excellence
through and through; and then, there was Kiara. She was... just a girl, nothing special.
"The science exam was rather easy. Last year, we covered pretty much all of it in summer
camp.", exclaimed Lauren as the three girls walked out of science class. All three of them
were in the eleventh grade, and could be considered good friends, despite growing apart
over the years.
"Yeah, but everything this year is simple. Except math, of course.", smiled Lana, plaiting her
long, silky blonde hair that curled slightly at the tips. A lot of girls envied her for her
appearance, but she was fairly smart as well, which many overlooked.
"I guess.", shrugged Kiara, looking down. She slowly pulled her flaming red hair into a messy
ponytail, clutching her report card with her other hand. Her chest felt heavier and heavier
each step she took. Click, clack, click, clack, her high heeled shoes clung to her feet as she felt
her soles lit themselves on fire.
"So, girls, I almost forgot, is anyone signing up for the science fair?", asked Lana, her soft
voice like a gentle breeze in the natural disaster that was the hallway. She opened her locker
gracefully, putting in a few textbooks along with her spelling bee prize- a silver medal with a
pen design carved on it. Suddenly there was a rush of wind and, bang! Lauren slammed her
locker shut, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Your girl right here, I’m sure to win first place!", the brunette boasted, her black curls
bouncing up and down her shoulders as she grinned proudly.
"I wish I was as confident as you.", chuckled Lana, closing her locker as she tucked a strand of
her shining hair behind her ear. The two girls shared a smile.
"And you, Kay? You’ve been awfully quiet.", remarked Lauren, turning to face the girl. Her
big, chocolate eyes dripped of honey as her lips curled into a smirk.
"I don’t know.", Kiara shrugged, not daring to look her friend in the eye. A year ago she
would have happily chatted along, but right now, knowing her recent grades, all she wanted
to do was crawl into an endless pit and never come out.
"You don’t know? You’re the best at science!", the brunette pat her on the back, grinning so
much Kiara felt like throwing up her lunch. Yeah, she was the best at science, emphasis on
the past tense.
"I’m just not feeling it.", the redhead lied. The three girls walked out of the school building,
two of them making small talk as the third one looked down.
"Are you smoking again?", mumbled Lana with concern as she saw her friend take out
matchsticks and a cigarette.
"Just a bit.", the girl muttered, looking away in embarrassment. Her flaming red hair blew in
the wind as she lit a matchstick. What could she say? Somehow the pity she saw in the
blonde’s eyes made her heart feel ten times heavier.
"You were always a bit of a pyromane.", suddenly teased Lauren, nudging her friend
playfully. Her curly hair danced wildly in the cold December wind, as her mischievous
expression remained.
Kiara shrugged. She wasn’t in the mood for jokes. In fact, she was in the mood for nothing,
except maybe her own funeral. All because of a mere piece of paper.
"Smile, Kiara. I know life can be hard, but I hate seeing you like this.", whispered Lana, her
voice gentle, yet serious. Her cerulean eyes turned icy, as her smile faded bit by bit. She took
out a wool scarf from her backpack, delicately wrapping it around her neck.
"Yeah, you’re no fun! Your parents divorced, we get it, but that was months ago! Where’s the
sarcastic Kiara we know and love?", added Lauren, putting an arm around the redhead’s
shoulders. Kiara wasn’t sure whether the action was supposed to make her feel comforted or
not, but if it was, then it didn’t work.
"I don’t need your pity.", the girl pulled away, in a rather defensive manner. She quickened
her pace, lighting a cigarette. The irritation instantly washed away, replaced by a strange
feeling of calmness, and... safety.
"We’ll see you tomorrow then.", she heard her so-called friends call out, before
disappearing. Lana gave her one last glance, before being pulled away by Lauren.
Kiara sighed, feeling her eyes heat up with dry tears. She wanted to follow them, to
apologize, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. She was tired. So, so, tired. Exhausted.
"Why can’t I be like them? Last year I was top of my grade, and I still had my life put
together... but since summer hols I seem to do nothing right...", the girl thought. She started
wandering in the New York streets like a ghost, purposeless.
After awhile, the redhead reached a small park, away from the loud traffic noises. It was the
one her, Lana, and Lauren used to hang out at after school. Oh, how she missed tenth
grade... all the innocence... all the promises...
"We’ll be best friend forever.", Lana had said, smiling her signature soft, gentle smile. It could
turn the coldest heart into a beating charade.
"We’ll go to the same elite college and be top of our grade!", had added Lauren, her eyes
shining with excitement. That was the time she still used to straighten her hair and wear
braces.
"Deal?", Kiara remembered asking, smirking as she tugged on her friendship bracelet.
"Dea!", her two friends had chanted, as all three of them clapped their hands.
Deal... now every sweet memory was tasteless. Not bitter, not sour, tasteless. As though they
were stolen from someone else. Wrong.
Kiara slowly walked into the park, her arm brushing against the metal entrance. She flung her
backpack on the ground, lighting a new cigarette. It was her ninth already. The redhead knew
it was a horrible thing to do. She knew her lungs suffered from it, but... oh, how it calmed
down her heartbeat and all those thoughts in her head she couldn’t get rid of.
"You smoke?", had asked Lauren after math class, at the begining of eleventh grade. Kiara
had always been a bit of a dork, which surprised her friends even more when they saw how
much she had changed over the summer.
"Just a bit, it’s not that bad.", the redhead had shook her head, taking a long puff. She didn’t
know when or why exactly did she pick up this bad habit. Maybe it was the constant stress of
worrying about not being good enough, maybe it was that the constant yelling in her life got
to her head... maybe it was just adolescence. But it had hurt. That, she was sure of.
The sky darkened, as she sat down near the entrance. The grass was soft, yet her heart
ached.
"A in Chem, A plus in Bio, well, straight As!", had boasted Lauren earlier that day, at lunch.
"Wow.", had replied Lana, tucking a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, "I got As except
in math, and P.E... when will they put ballet instead of football?"
Everyone had giggled except Kiara. They were best friends, they were best friends... yet
things were so different...
The girl glanced at her report card, which had been on her mind like a forbidden fruit. Her
eyes blurred at the sight of all the Cs. How could mere letters mean so much?
Her parent’s divorce had taken a toll on her mental health, but deep down... the redhead
knew she could have done better if only she tried.
Yet, she was tired... So tired... Burnt-out was a better word. Burnt-out, like the matchsticks
that represented how much she had changed. Her inner fire switched from camping trip and
marshmallows to second degree arson really fast over the summer. Too fast.
"Shut up! Make it stop!"
July the 5th. Beginning of summer holidays. No salty scent sprinkled in the ocean breeze, no
waves crashing down from the deep blue sea, no seagulls, no laughter, nothing. Just screams.
Blood-stopping, bloodcurling screams.
"Stop thinking about it!", Kiara quickly chased the memories away, focusing back on the
biting breeze that tickled her freckled skin.
She glanced at the small pack of matchsticks she had placed on the ground next to her,
taking one out slowly. How many cigarettes had she had? Suddenly fifteen seemed like a
rather small number. She carefully twirled the match in her fingers, before lighting it, setting
alight the night.
Fire. Burning fire. Red like her hair, blue like her soul. Kiara took a last puff of her used
cigarette, before putting it out.
Maybe the smoke got to her head, maybe all the bottled up feelings she had pushed away
for so long resurfaced. Maybe she was just a coward. But at that moment, Kiara didn’t care.
For an instant, she wasn’t Kiara Dellor, but simply a young girl letting all her darkest thoughts
explode.
Before she realized what she had done, the report card already caught on fire, slowly eating
itself up. The dancing flames enveloped the piece of paper, trapping it, and, steadily, what a
second ago was her worst nightmare simply disappeared.
Gone. Kiara set the shreds of burning paper free, as they waltzed in the cold wind before
disappearing in the horizon. Far, far away.
"Burnt flames catch back faster.", Kiara mumbled, laying down on the humid grass. The girl felt
tiny ants creeping up her arm as she exhaled all her worries away.
She didn’t solve the problem. She knew that. All too well.
Nothing really changed.
But... she did.