Deeper
Finding Grace in Every Season
D
E
E
P
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R
Finding Grace in Every Season
hOMILIES
ThaT WILL
MOVE
yOUR hEaRT
FR. BOB McCOnaghy
Deeper
Finding Grace in Every Season
Fr. Bob McConaghy
Deeper
Finding Grace in Every Season
e-ISBN 978-971-007-206-4
Fr. Bob McConaghy
Philippine Copyright © March 2018 by Fr. Robert McConaghy
Published by Shepherd’s Voice Publications, Inc.
Address requests for information to:
SHEPHERD’S VOICE Publications, inc.
#60 Chicago St., Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines 1109
P.O. Box 1331 Quezon City Central Post Office
1153 Quezon City
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, except
for brief quotations, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Cover Design by Paolo Galia
Layout by Rey de Guzman
Table of Contents
Foreword i
Dying to Self A Simple Lenten Plan
Why Jesus Had to Endure
Forty Days in the Desert
Chapter Three:
Thoroughly Wash Me from
My Guilt
Chapter Four:
The Nemesis of Noise
Chapter Five:Two Kinds of Prayer to
Connect to Love
Chapter Six:
Centering Prayer
Chapter Seven:
The Examen
LENT:
Chapter One:
Chapter Two:
TRIDUUM:
Chapter Eight:
Chapter Nine:
Chapter Ten:
Chapter Eleven:
Chapter Twelve:
Chapter Thirteen:
EASTER:
Chapter Fourteen:
Chapter Fifteen:
Chapter Sixteen:
From Death into Life
What’s It Likes to Die?
From Success to Significance
‘Still I Will Praise’ Pick Up Your Cross Like
George Did
Don’t Waste Your Pain
The Day Before Easter
Christ Is Risen!
Inflame Your Heart
with the Word
The Real Presence
in the Eucharist Is God Really Good
All the Time? 1
3
11
15
21
25
29
33
39
41
47
51
55
61
63
67
69
73
79
Table of Contents
Chapter Seventeen:
This Is No Fairy Tale
Chapter Eighteen:Let Your Little Light Shine
Chapter Nineteen:
Be the Good News
Chapter Twenty:Love Casts Out Fear
83
87
91
95
Prepare the Way of the Lord
Fasting and Abstinence
During Advent? Chapter Twenty-Two: From Sadiq to Paul
Chapter Twenty-Three: You Are Salt and Light
of the World
Chapter Twenty-Four: Gift Giver Versus
Gift Receiver
99
ADVENT:
Chapter Twenty-One:
CHRISTMAS:
Chapter Twenty-Five:
Chapter Twenty-Six:
Christ Is Born!
My First Christmas Away
from Home
God of the Unexpected
101
105
109
113
117
119
123
ORDINARY TIME:
Walking with Christ
Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Misunderstood Virtue
of Humility
127
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Politics and the Church
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Human Rights and
Women’s Rights
Chapter Thirty:
A Spirit for All Seasons
Chapter Thirty-One:
The Fine Art of Listening
Chapter Thirty-Two:
God Finds a Way Amidst
Our Failure
135
About the Author
155
129
139
143
147
151
What They Say about the Book
As Catholics, most of us go through our Catholic
devotions halfheartedly, especially when it comes to traditional
practices during Lent. In this book, Fr. Bob McConaghy shares
meaningful ways to celebrate not just the Lenten season but the
rest of the liturgical year. With examples from the Bible and his
own experiences, he provides a useful and easy-to-read guide
that will lead you to a clearer understanding of how to find God
through His Word in the different seasons. Allow this book to
help nourish your soul and experience the various seasons with
sincerity!
– Charmaine Albino
Assistant sales manager, KRIRUB Industrial Sales
Singer-Songwriter
When I first heard a homily by Father Bob twenty years
ago, his words captivated me. In the past few years, he has
become a spiritual mentor and a good, good friend. His words
continue to uplift me today. His gentle, nonjudgmental approach
to Christianity is disarming and his simple yet marvelous insights
leave me astounded. I’m so excited for you to read them.
– George Gabriel
Author and Preacher
What They Say about the Book
I personally found the chapter “From Success to
Significance” useful for my ministerial life. “When we are able
to rise above the Good Fridays of our life and pick up our cross
daily, we become the significant other of the crucified yet risen
Christ,” Father Bob writes. I have come to realize that there is
one thing that effective missionaries have in common: All have
experienced deep suffering, whether in their personal lives or as a
result of their calling.
This book is inspiring, motivating, and challenging. I
recommend it for anyone who wants to go on a spiritual journey
through the road map of Christ’s paschal mystery, and eventually
leading us to share in the life and mission of the Church.
– Fr. Fernando L. Sabado, Jr, LRMS
Missionary priest, Hsinchu, Taiwan
A lot of times, we forget the importance of quietness. We
are disturbed by the noise in our surroundings. This book will
help you recognize how God moves you and brings you into His
presence. It is a retreat for the soul. It’s the kind of book you give
to yourself because it will help you understand why God didn’t
answer all your prayers and has a better plan for you.
– Nico M. Benedicto
Admin staff, Student
My heart is filled with so much peace and joy after reading
this book. Father Bob’s wisdom and spirituality always makes his
homilies an encounter with Jesus. Every reflection is down-toearth and inspires me to do good and be holy. I hope more of his
preaching will be put into writing.
– Carlos R. Carcellar
Retreat house director, Davao
This is undoubtedly a bestseller! If you are looking for a
practical guide on how to apply the Gospels of Christ in your
everyday life without the hassle of going through deep theological
studies, you just found yourself the ultimate guide.
As a well-known and sought-after spiritual director to a
multitude of seminarians here in the Philippines, Father Bob’s
homilies and stories will not only entertain you but certainly
inspire, guide, counsel, and compel you to be more like Jesus in
whatever season you are in at the moment.
– Enrico Koorn, Jr., USRN
Servant, The Feast Bay Area PM Medical Ministry
Reading this book is like dining at a favorite restaurant.
You already know what food to order but the master chef has
something better to offer. The stories of this book grow richer with
each reading. Father Bob has a magnificent way of delivering the
What They Say about the Book
message that we are loved. He is a master at helping us see things
the other way around so that our mourning turns into dancing,
our sorrow into joy, our worst-case scenario into a surprisingly
happy ending.
– Mark Gerald Cruz
Graphic designer
Father Bob’s insightful stories and reflections will make
you realize deeper truths and discover meaning when you silence
yourself and allow God to speak. It’s amazing how the book
was written on a theological standpoint, and still could be very
relatable to the younger generation. It’s a perfect gift for your
friends and loved ones in every season of the year.
– Ralph Kim Paguio
HR Assistant, San Miguel Brewery, Inc.
Warning: Once you start reading you can’t stop. Father
Bob is undoubtedly inspired by the Holy Spirit. He speaks from
the heart and there is no way that you won’t be touched and
moved by the stories written in this book. Once done, make sure
you pass it on.
– Chai Santiago
Financial coach, International Marketing Group
Deeper | Finding Grace in Every Season
FOREWORD
God’s Embrace for
Every Season
W
hen Father Bob gives his homily, I get excited.
Because every time he speaks, God speaks
to my heart.
And every time, his words are God’s embrace to me.
It’s not just Father Bob’s wisdom. Yes, his wisdom blows
you away. But more than his wisdom is his spirit. I sense he
“leaks” God’s love wherever he goes. And people are touched,
blessed, and healed.
Why? God shines through Father Bob because of his
profound humility. It’s amazing how someone like him who is so
wise and so great can be so humble.
I’m very happy that he allowed us to gather his homilies
at the Feast (the Light of Jesus Family’s weekly prayer gathering)
into a book, so that God’s embrace will reach many more people
who need it.
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Foreword
May the Lord speak to you in the same way that He uses
Father Bob to speak to me.
Open this book and be embraced by love.
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
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Lent
Dying to Self
{1}
Ash Wednesday is different from the other
Wednesdays of Lent because you have to fast
from food and abstain from meat.
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Chapter ONE
A Simple Lenten Plan
A
sh Wednesday signifies the start of the Lenten season.
It’s the time when many Catholics make promises or
offer sacrifices to God.
“Lord, I’ll stop visiting those sites on the Internet. I will
stop the bad habits that come with it. I will control my temper.
I will be more patient with the members of my family and my
friends at school. I will strive to become more virtuous. And in
order to do that, I will give up something. I will fast from movies
during Lent. I won’t drink beer during Lent. I will stop smoking
during Lent.”
These different things are what we call penances. Think
back to those promises and penances of all your past Lents. The
problem is by about the third or fourth week of Lent, those
promises you made so enthusiastically on Ash Wednesday are
forgotten. If this is how your Lenten season had been in the past,
welcome to the group. It happens to most of us because we get
Lent all wrong.
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A Simple Lenten Plan
In the preface of the Mass during Ash Wednesday, the
priest prays, “Each year, You give us this joyful season.” Oh, they
must have it wrong. That’s Advent. Advent is joyful as it moves
up to Christmas. But Lent is a time of penance. Penance means
punishment.
No, it doesn’t. Penance means “preparation so I can love
better.”
In this chapter, I want to share with you what I call a
simple Lenten plan. I will give you seven different penances to
do on different days of the week and is doable in its diversity.
You won’t do the same thing throughout the season. You won’t
give up something and then not be able to push through with it.
These seven preparations will help you love better and, with the
help of God’s grace, you will be able to carry them out.
Ash Wednesday is different from the other Wednesdays of
Lent because you have to fast from food and abstain from meat.
For many years, I would do the evening Ash Wednesday Mass
at the Greenbelt Chapel in Makati, then I would head over to
Glorietta. Once, I went to a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant
and everybody there had big ashes on their forehead—they came
from my Mass—and they were eating chicken! I said, “Whoa!
Fish. Fish.” And they all laughed. The reason why we fast from
food on Ash Wednesday is to open our hearts wider for what we
will do in the next thirty-nine days of Lent.
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Thursdays of Lent: Fast from Gossip
For the next five Thursdays of Lent, we will declare a fast
against participating in that most delicious conversation called
chismis or gossip. On this day, if our friends start talking about
somebody else, we will either say something kind about that
person so we do something loving, or we will excuse ourselves
and not become a part of the conversation.
Pope Francis said something interesting about gossip. He
said gossip is worse than the sins below the belt. You know why?
Because chismis is taking delight in somebody else’s sins so we
don’t have to look at our own. So on Thursdays, you will need a
lot of grace to be bold enough to say something good about that
person who is being victimized.
Fridays of Lent: Fast from Negative Mental Judgments
On Fridays, you will declare another fast, this time against
negative mental judgments about other people. Nobody can see
those judgments we make in our heads. But do you notice that
when you make negative mental judgments about others, it’s
because you see their sins that bother you? The way somebody
walks, the way they talk, the way they act, the way they dress, the
way they talk to others, the way they talk to you—they irritate
you. But while you keep quiet, in your mind you make a negative
judgment about them. On Fridays, say to our Lord, “Help me
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A Simple Lenten Plan
remember today that although I will notice a lot of other people’s
sins, and they will irritate me, I will not make judgments about
them. Today, when I’m most strongly tempted to do that, help
me to remember, Lord, that when You see my sins, You withhold
judgment. In its place, You give me mercy.” On the Fridays of
Lent, you ask our Lord to give you a merciful heart.
When you see the worst in someone, do what God does
with you: bring out the best in that person.
Saturdays of Lent: Notice the ‘Little’ People
Jesus was very busy during the three years He walked
around Galilee but there was something rather unique about
Him. He noticed people that the others didn’t—the non-VIPs,
the non-celebrities, the “little” people. He stopped and took time
to say, “Hello, how are you?”
Saturdays are usually pretty free so make it a day to notice
those people you easily overlook. This is a ministry that hardly
anyone else does. It’s the ministry of simply noticing people
that others don’t notice except to fulfill a need. For example,
you might see along the street someone selling cigarettes and
candy. You might greet him, buy a piece of candy, and give him
a couple of pesos for the candy. But you don’t usually carry on a
conversation with the vendor. Why don’t you take it further by
asking, “Where are you from? Do you have a family? How many
kids do you have?” Then offer to pray for him that he will do well
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today. Ask him to pray for you also. Tell him a prayer concern at
work or in school. Believe me, when you have poor, hardworking
people praying for you, those are very powerful prayers.
So on Saturdays, be like Jesus and notice those whom
nobody else notices.
Sundays of Lent: Read the Good News
On Sundays, we usually have the time to read the newspaper.
But let’s be honest, most of it is bad news. So on the Sundays of
Lent, read the Good News instead. In other words, convert the
amount of time that you would use to read the newspaper into
reading Sacred Scripture. Try to finish one whole book, maybe
Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John during those five Sundays of
Lent. By Palm Sunday you will have finished the Gospels and
then some.
Mondays of Lent: Pray the Rosary
On Mondays of Lent, think M—Mama Mary. Pray one
simple act of prayer: the rosary. But the rosary can be kind of
repetitive, can’t it?
There’s a way to say the rosary that will give you an
opportunity to wholeheartedly pray for sixty people. Offer each
of the first four prayers before the decades for Pope Francis,
Cardinal Chito Tagle, the president of your country, and your
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A Simple Lenten Plan
congressman, respectively. When you get to the first of the five
decades of the rosary, pray for your family members by name
for each Hail Mary. If you have more than ten members, switch
names every now and then. As you pray Hail Mary, think of
them, either for a need that they have or in thanksgiving that
they’ve been woven into the fabric of your life. These are penances
that will help you prepare to love better.
On the second decade, pray for your classmates, your batch
mates, those you work with, your boss, or your employees by
name. Again, think of each one of them.
On the third mystery of the rosary, pray for us priests by
name. We need your prayers, especially for priests who hear
confessions that we may always welcome people there and clothe
them in God’s cloak of mercy.
For the fourth mystery of the rosary, pray for your enemies.
If you’re a good Catholic, you probaby have at least ten enemies.
People who don’t like you, who talk behind your back, those
against whom you have a grudge, those you can’t forgive, or those
who have not forgiven you. Think of them and pray for each one
of them by name. Normally, just thinking of them, you would get
angry and upset. But if you’re praying for someone by name and
saying, “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee,” you’re
doing something loving. You’re doing something kind, generous,
and charitable that you normally wouldn’t do. That’s what Jesus
meant when He said, “Pray for your enemies.” They might not
change but you will. No longer will you be their spiritual and
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emotional slave. You’ll be free by the end of Lent if you pray for
your enemies on Mondays.
For the fifth mystery, pray for those who have died—those
you know and those you love who have gone ahead. Pray for
them by name.
When you pray your rosary this way, you’ll be amazed
at how quickly time will pass. If you want to have fun on one
particular Monday, say, “Lord, inspire me with sixty people that
I’ve known in my life that you want me to pray for.” You’ll be
amazed that you’ll be reminded of people you haven’t thought of
in ten years.
Tuesdays of Lent: Textless Tuesday
OK, here comes the challenging part. On Monday night,
you will send a text announcing to all of your friends in your cell
phone directory that you are declaring the next five Tuesdays of
Lent as “Textless Tuesday.” This will last from Monday midnight
until Tuesday midnight.
Think about the amount of time that we spend texting. Can
you do without it for a day? They say the more time you spend
on Facebook, the less successful you will be in your interpersonal
relationships. So on gadgetless Tuesday, or at least social medialess Tuesday, you can choose whether you will fast from Twitter,
Facebook, texting, viber, or whatever it happens to be. Instead,
use that amount of time for quiet prayer either in your room or
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A Simple Lenten Plan
at a Eucharistic chapel where you will pray for your country and
for world peace.
Wednesdays of Lent: Do Acts of Mercy
Finally, Wednesday is the day we put it all into practice
as a disciple because we’re called but we’re also sent. Our Lord
challenges us to go outside of ourselves and tells us how we will
be judged at the end of our life: “When I was hungry, you gave
Me to eat. Thirsty, you gave Me to drink. Ill or in prison, you
came to visit Me. Naked, and you clothed Me. A stranger and
you welcomed Me.”
On Wednesday morning, pray, “Lord, surprise me. Put
someone in my path today whom You want me to touch with the
gift of my time, talent, or treasure. Point out that person to me,
Lord, and I promise to respond. Give me the grace to recognize
who that person is.”
If you push through with these seven penances, the grace
of God will transform and change you. You will become more of
the saint He has called you to be. Pray that, by the help of God’s
grace, we can do these, so that by the end of Lent, we won’t be
saying, “Thank God that’s over.” Instead, we will recognize that
penance really prepares us to be a better person, a more loving,
detached Christian who cares about others and has a deeper
relationship with God.
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Chapter TWO
Why Jesus Had to Endure
Forty Days in the Desert
W
e go through the Lenten season every year but
we overlook the fact that the very first one who
ever went through this time was Jesus. Why did
He have to go through forty days and forty nights like you and
me? Think about it. He was in Nazareth for thirty full years. He
preached only once when He was twelve and He never performed
any miracles at all even though He had the power. Then one
day, after waiting for thirty long years, He showed up, John the
Baptist baptized Him, and the Holy Spirit descended upon Him
like a dove. Then the heavenly Father said, “This is My beloved
Son.”
After waiting for thirty long years, you’d think that
Jesus would say to His Father, “I’m ready. Let me usher in the
Kingdom.” Remember, He was fully human and tempted in
every way that we are. Think about the ways that you’re tempted;
Jesus was tempted in every one of those ways. He must have had
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Why Jesus Had to Endure Forty Days in the Desert
the temptation right at the very start of His public ministry, yet
what do we hear in the Gospel? “The Holy Spirit that descended
upon Him led Him out into the desert.” Why did He have to go
out there?
This is the reason: Jesus, being fully human, had never
experienced loneliness in His whole life. In the desert, He would
be without human touch for forty days and forty nights. So when
He met lepers in His ministry later on, He knew what it was like
to be “untouchable,” to not have the warmth of human contact.
He knew what it was like to be lonely. In the desert, on a night
with no full moon, He had to move around in the dark almost
like a blind man. He would meet many who are blind during
His ministry. And if He was fully human, He must have been
frightened when He heard noises of animals which He was not
familiar with. He also experienced hunger and He would meet
many hungry people. Our Lord had to learn by experience what
it was like to be fully human so that He could have compassion
on the rest of us.
He went through His Lent and then He met the tempter.
How was Jesus able to resist the devil? By the Word of God. Every
time Satan offered Him something that seemed to be beautiful,
Jesus was so consumed by Scripture that He immediately
responded and was able to dodge His temptations. What Satan
was actually offering Jesus were three shortcuts to the cross.
And if He took those shortcuts, there would be no death, no
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resurrection. But the Word of God so consumed Jesus that He
was able to say no.
There’s a famous English actor, Alec McCowan, who died
on February 6, 2017. He got a Tony nomination for a one-man
show he first staged in the late 1970s. He would come out on
stage dressed in an ordinary suit and sit on a chair in front of a
table with a Bible on it. And all he did was recite the Gospel of
Mark, playing all of the characters and not overacting. He got
rave reviews that said it was rare to hear the entire Gospel all at
once.
As I mentioned in the previous chapter, spend your
Sundays of Lent reading the Gospels instead of the newspaper.
The shortest of the Gospels is Mark. Read the chapters slowly and
don’t try to interpret the Scriptures. Instead, allow the Scriptures
to interpret you. So that when temptations come to you, you will
be consumed by the Word and able to say no.
{ 13 }
He knows the agony that you’re
going through. So if you want to stop
beating yourself up and allowing
guilt to eat you up, go to confession.
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Chapter THREE
Thoroughly Wash Me
from My Guilt
Open your heart completely to God’s mercy and let
His perfect love cast out your fear.
T
he Bible tells us that men judge by appearances but
God judges by the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). Suppose
you came to the prayer meeting one day and you saw
someone whose sin was very obvious—let’s say a prostitute.
Would you welcome her as warmly as you would someone you
know as a celebrity who has lots of fans? You would probably
admire the celebrity and maybe even ask for a selfie with him.
But referring to the prostitute, you would probably say, “What is
she doing here?”
The teachers of the law, the Pharisees, and the scribes
had the mindset that those whose sins are obvious are morally
evil people. They didn’t believe that God looked at our hearts.
So it was a shock to them when Jesus said, “Tax collectors and
prostitutes will enter the Kingdom of God before you.”
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Thoroughly Wash Me from My Guilt
These religious authorities hated tax collectors because
they were working for the Roman government and were corrupt.
Their sin was obvious, just like the prostitutes. They resented
Jesus for saying that because He was a threat to their authority.
Why? Because they tried to control people’s lives by pointing
out their sins. Every time they saw anyone break one of the 613
little commandments, the Pharisees were right in their face to
say, “You’re sinning.”
The people didn’t know what was sin because they couldn’t
read. They didn’t know the law, which the scribes and Pharisees
not only read but knew by heart. So our Lord wanted to deliver a
very powerful, meaningful lesson to them. He did it by narrating
the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal
son. He wanted everyone to know that our heavenly Father
is constantly reaching out to the furthest peripheries to bring
home those who are filled with guilt and labeled as “evil sinners.”
But He had a hard time with those who were self-righteous and
pretended to obey the commandments.
Jesus didn’t only say things that disturbed the religious
authorities; He also did things that agitated them.
I’ll give an example. When I first moved to the Philippines,
I was invited to say Mass in Makati at a place called The Atrium.
After the Mass, Mrs. Jose and a group of the ladies on the liturgy
committee wanted to take me out to lunch. So we went down a
back alley that was on the other side of Makati Avenue and went
to a restaurant that’s open twenty-four hours a day.
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Mrs. Jose whispered to me, “Father, don’t come here at
night.”
“Why not, Mrs. Jose?”
“Prostitutes, Father. The whole alley is filled with them late
at night.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes. And guess what, Father? They’re men dressed up like
women. But they look just like women. You should see them,”
she said.
“I thought you told me that I shouldn’t see them?”
The following Sunday, I had Mass at Greenbelt Chapel and
I told that story. They laughed.
Now, supposing on a late Saturday night, you were
to go into that twenty-four-hour restaurant and find me or a
parish priest or even a bishop sitting with two or three of those
prostitutes. What would be your first thought? What would be
your second thought? And what would you text your friends?
Would you come over to table and say, “Hi, Father Bob.
Who are your friends? Can I join you for coffee?” No, you
wouldn’t because that’s outside our comfort zone. We would
most likely think, “What’s he doing with them?” and assume
maybe I’m up to no good.
That’s exactly what the scribes and the Pharisees thought
when Jesus called Matthew to follow Him and invited Zacchaeus
to dine with Him. When you go to a fast-food restaurant, you’ll
take a half hour to eat, right? But when you dine with somebody,
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Thoroughly Wash Me from My Guilt
it’ll take the whole evening. Jesus makes it clear that “no one who
comes to Me will I ever reject. I can read your hearts.”
What did Zacchaeus and the prostitutes need? They needed
to know for the first time in their life that they were lovable,
forgivable, and redeemable. In these instances, Jesus always made
the first move to let them know that. Why did Zacchaeus, Mary,
and the woman caught in adultery change? Because when Jesus
looked them right in the eye, they knew for the first time that
they were loved and that they were using substitutes for love until
they met Him.
The same is true of you and me. Our most important
relationship is with someone who loves us—no ifs, no ands,
no buts—no matter where we’ve been. That’s why Catholic lay
preacher Bo Sanchez would say that, at The Feast, their weekly
prayer meeting, “We deal with messy people and messy lives and
everyone is welcome here.”
That’s the same mindset that Jesus had when He dined
with the tax collectors, prostitutes, drunkards, and those outside
the law. If He would dine with them, that means He wants to
dine with you. Maybe you carry a heavy burden of guilt for
something you did in the past that nobody knows about. You’ve
been carrying it around without realizing that the Lord knows
your secret. He knows your heart. He knows the agony that
you’re going through. So if you want to stop beating yourself up
and allowing guilt to eat you up, go to confession.
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It’s time to lay the burden down, forgive yourself, and learn
from your past. Then you will finally feel a deep sense of peace
just like Matthew and Zacchaeus did.
{ 19 }
There’s a difference between a
vacation and a pilgrimage where
you both find rest. In the former, you
want to get away from home; in the
latter, you want to find a home.
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Chapter FOUR
The Nemesis of Noise
N
oise is the new normal. Everywhere you go there’s
noise and we’ve gotten used to it. We can get
uncomfortable without it. I see people walking down
the street with earphones. In the past, earplugs were used to keep
out the noise. Now we use them to bring in more noise. In a
restaurant, music is often played loudly and it gets in the way of
good conversation. In the elevator there’s noise. Music is played
so people don’t talk to each other. And then there’s the noise of
advertisements that bombard us each day. Drive along EDSA
and you’ll see billboards crowding the sides of the avenue selling
you something.
Even in our heads, it can be noisy. Our life can be like a
storm going around 110 kilometers an hour, buffeted by winds
of fear, financial problems, and worries about children or career.
Our minds are constantly active, full of noise. Why? Because we’re
restless. A person who is restless is someone who thinks they have
to prove their lovability. A person who is restless constantly feels
as though they must achieve. “More is better, so I have to strive
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The Nemesis of Noise
so that I can have more.” And that makes us restless.
Jesus wants us to be at rest. How did Jesus become at rest?
He got away by Himself.
Do you notice that whenever He went away to pray, He
never took the Apostles with Him? (There was only one exception:
when He took Peter, James, and John to Mount Tabor during the
Transfiguration.)
There’s a difference between a vacation and a pilgrimage
where you both find rest. In the former, you want to get away
from home; in the latter, you want to find a home. Jesus found
a home with His heavenly Father. He could communicate with
Him, be with Him, and know that He was never alone. Jesus
enjoyed the solitude. That’s difficult for you and me because
noise is the new normal.
About three months before I was ordained a priest, I was
anxious and concerned about many things. Getting ready for
ordination was a lot of work. Then the bishop called and said,
“Bob, you have to go and make a retreat.” I told the bishop,
“I don’t have time to make a retreat. I have all of these things
that I have to accomplish, invitations to send out, and hotel
reservations to make for my guests who were coming. I have a
thousand things to do.”
“I don’t care. You’re anxious and concerned about many
things,” he said to me, quoting Scripture. “Get yourself to the
seminary and make that retreat.” I was angry because I just had a
retreat a few months before that. But on a snowy day in January,
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a few weeks before my ordination on February 8, 1975, I made
my way two hours down to Mount Saint Mary Seminary for a
retreat.
The retreat master was Monsignor Jim Mulligan. I went
to his room and he said, “We’re not going to give you homilies.
We’re not going to give you conferences. What I’m going to do,
Bob, is I’m going to give you four lines of Scripture. Two from
Isaiah and two from Jeremiah. What I want you to do is meditate
about the reaction of Jeremiah when he was called by name and
the reaction of Isaiah.”
“OK, I’ll do that,” I said.
Then he added, “You have to understand there are rules
here: no books, no rosary, no liturgy of the hours, no reading
materials at all, no television. I want you, Bob, simply to give
four hours of prayer to those four lines of Scripture.”
I said, “You’re kidding me.”
He said, “No, you go right ahead.”
I went over the four lines of Scripture. It took me twentyfive minutes and I couldn’t think of anything else. All day, all
I could think about was back home and all the things I had to
prepare for ordination. At the end of the day, I returned to his
room. He asked, “How did it go?”
“Frustrating,” I said.
“That’s exactly what should happen. You should be
frustrated because you have too much noise in your life as you’re
getting ready for ordination. You need to be still and know that
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The Nemesis of Noise
He is God and that He’s calling you by name to the priesthood.
So I’m going to give you four more lines of Scripture tomorrow.”
He did. I was able to get a little bit more quiet the next day.
By Wednesday, I got very quiet. On Wednesday night, I made
the best confession I’ve ever made in my whole life.
At the end of this simple four-day quiet retreat, I went up
the mountain at Mount Saint Mary’s, the national shrine of Our
Lady of Lourdes in Emmitsburg, Maryland. On one side of the
top of mountain was the beautiful, big golden statue of Mama
Mary. On the other side was the cemetery where all the rectors
and professors from the past were buried. I remember distinctly
sitting on one of the tombstones and looking over the valley that
was covered with snow. I was completely at peace. I wasn’t before
I went there. I remember my prayer. I said, “Lord, put me in
Your slingshot and sling me out.”
That was forty-one years ago.
Twenty-four years later, I made the same kind of retreat.
At the end of that retreat, I discerned that I should come to the
Philippines. Again, I went to the top of that same mountain but
this time it was spring. I said to our Lord the same prayer, “OK,
Lord, put me in Your slingshot and sling me out.” He did—
across the Pacific Ocean, right here, to be with you.
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Chapter FIVE
Two Kinds of Prayer
to Connect to Love
Y
our life might be swirling around like a typhoon, but
what makes a storm powerful? A calm, peaceful eye. A
center. Do you have a center in your relationship with
the Father? God lives within you and He wants you to be at rest.
Our Lord wants us to be quiet. What does quiet and to
be at rest mean? In the Greek language, “at rest” means to be
refreshed, rejuvenated. It means to press the pause button of life.
It means that silence is not an absence of noise but a presence of
Someone who loves you beyond anything your imagination can
conceive.
How do you connect with that love? Two ways. The first
way is called centering prayer. The neat thing about centering
prayer is you don’t have to do anything. You sit still and know
that He is God.
This is how you do it: Go to your room and turn off all
the lights. Find the most comfortable chair you have and just sit
there. Pope Francis talks about this manner of praying because
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he prays like this. He said that at the end of the day when he’s
exhausted, he just sits in the chapel and meditates on Jesus
looking at him with great love. He admitted that sometimes he
falls asleep while praying. He wakes up twenty minutes later and
it occurs to him that during that time, Jesus was still looking at
him with great love.
When we pray, we usually think of what to say or think.
That’s meditation and it’s good. But centering prayer is a little
different. What you do is simply sit down and take maybe ten
deep breaths. Inhale for four seconds then let it out for ten
seconds. Physiologically, what that does is to set up a barrier in
your nervous system where stress chemicals cannot get in. So
breathe and relax and allow your body to calm down.
Once your body is calmed down, use your imagination.
Think that you’re on the hundredth floor and you’re taking a
very fast elevator to G. And G is God the Father. Now you’re
going to spend some time with the family—God the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Spirit who are dwelling in the deepest part of
your being. They reside in the deepest recesses of your soul and
They want you to be with Them. Why? Because They adopted
you. You are Their son; you are Their daughter. They want you to
simply “be,” as Neil Diamond’s song with the same title says, “Be
as a page that aches for a word which speaks on a theme that is
timeless, and the one God will make for your way. Sing as a song
in search of a voice that is silent, and the sun God will make for
your way.”
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After taking those ten deep breaths and quieting down,
now do only one thing—just be. Just sit there in the presence of
the Father. That’s what Jesus did. He was always in the presence
of the Father not thinking He had to accomplish anything while
He was there. With this kind of prayer, it’s hard to go ten seconds
without a thought coming into your mind, so I suggest you start
with five minutes. Work your way up from there and maybe
you can do what a Trappist monk does: thirty-five minutes of
centering prayer.
Simply sit and ask the Holy Spirit to give you a singular
word. The word should be short. The one I like when I pray
like this is mercy. Whenever any thought comes to my mind, I
don’t just say mercy but I breathe it. I inhale, and as I exhale I
whisper the word in my spirit. It doesn’t have to be an audible
sound. When you choose your word and breathe it like that,
the thoughts that distract you will go away and you’ll enjoy that
calm, peaceful center.
What you are doing is getting strength from the Family
who supports you. The best visual I can give you is through this
story.
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God will never be outdone in generosity.
You give Him that gift of quiet, peace, and
stillness and, by an act of faith, you trust
that God is beginning a good work in you
and will bring it to completion.
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Chapter SIX
Centering Prayer
T
here was a woman in my parish who was going to have
a Caesarian section because there was a good chance
that, like her two previous pregnancies, the child would
die before birth. So at five months, they did a Caesarean. The
newborn was so tiny! As soon as the baby came out, they rushed
her to the neonatal intensive care unit. I had to get dressed up in
a scrub suit, a surgical cap, and gloves, and I had purified water
for the baptism. I waited at the door of the neonatal unit for a
good hour before they let me in. Six people surrounded the baby,
all of them doing something to sustain this life. Then finally, they
called me, “Quickly, quickly, come in!” I had maybe ten seconds.
I went in and said, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and
of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
I was amazed at how tiny that baby was. You could literally
put that child in your hand and she would just barely be bigger
than that. The other thing I noticed was her color—she was
purple. Her skin was translucent. You could see her heart beating.
You could see the child struggling for breath. Is she going to
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Centering Prayer
make it? Every one of those doctors were using everything they
learned. Every one of those nurses were giving intensive care to
that one single, unrepeatable act of God’s love.
The child survived.
Imagine all the love and the skill poured into that child,
including the care of her parents, for the next three months.
Her odds of living were so slim. And she couldn’t process or
understand all that love that she was receiving, yet it helped her
survive. Now, she’s twenty years old and is a university student.
Picture yourself like that preemie at the end of the day.
You’re struggling. You’re feeling ill. You’re nervous. You’re upset.
You’re not at rest.
As you sit there quietly, breathe your word every five
minutes. You may not feel or be able to process what’s going on
at that moment. But think: all the skill and love of the doctors,
nurses, and parents for that premature baby don’t come close to
the love that’s being poured into you during those five minutes.
Now you might ask, “How should I feel after I do this
centering kind of prayer?” Don’t judge it by feelings. Don’t
ask yourself, “Did I do it right?” What you did was you made
yourself available to the Family—to God the Father, Son, and
Holy Spirit. That’s an act of generosity on your part because the
world says you have to be noisy.
God will never be outdone in generosity. You give him that
gift of quiet, peace, and stillness and, by an act of faith, you trust
that God is beginning a good work in you and will bring it to
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completion. If you stay with the discipline of doing this and go
for solitude twenty minutes every day, you’ll begin to think more
deeply. You won’t be concerned about the things that usually
rattle you or the noise that confuses you.
What did Jesus say? “Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He
doesn’t lie. He will refresh you. Holy Week is a good time to
do it. So start with something as simple as two minutes of just
sitting in God’s presence. Make yourself available like a page that
God can write on.
Bo Sanchez is a man who is at rest. Usually, people who
are at rest upset those who are restless because they think they
should be doing something, accomplishing something, or
producing something. But a person at rest is just the opposite. I
was backstage at the Philippine International Convention Center
(PICC) one time for The Feast and there was a lot of activity
going on. Brother Bo was about to come onstage to give a talk
when I went over to say hello to him. He sat there with his eyes
closed like he was somewhere else. He was with the Family. It’s
with the power of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that Bo is able
to come out in front of thousands and make them believe the
awesome truth that they are lovable, forgivable, and redeemable.
That their sin might be big but God’s mercy is bigger. He always
brings the joy of the Gospel. That’s why people come in droves.
The same can be true with you. You will find that if you
spend time at rest, being still in God’s presence even for ten
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minutes a day, people will begin to notice. They’ll say, “There’s
something different about you. Did you have a facelift?” No, you
had a “faith lift.”
A typhoon dissipates when it loses its center. Find your
center, and you will be at rest.
Now, on to the second way of praying.
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Chapter SEVEN
The Examen
T
he second way of praying is called the examen. If
you’ve read my first book, Closer, I wrote about it there
too. The examen is not my idea. It comes from Saint
Ignatius of Loyola. He knew that we are weary people. By day’s
end, we’ve had to deal with all kinds of issues, problems, and
difficulties at work, at school, and in the family. He also knew
that many people experience not wanting to pray anymore. It
doesn’t seem like it does any good. Saint Ignatius gave us a way
to connect with God in an experiential, practical way during our
day. He called it the examen.
Saint Ignatius took his ideas from the early desert fathers
who first introduced this centering prayer. But he took it a little
further. For people whose minds are a bit active and can’t slow
down, he advises to go to a quiet place at home or a Eucharistic
chapel. It doesn’t matter where you go as long as you won’t be
disturbed for fifteen minutes. That’s all it’s going to take.
Find the most comfortable chair you can find. Sit on the
chair, turn off all the lights in the room, but unlike in centering
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The Examen
prayer, you will light a candle. As you do, say, “Come, Lord
Jesus.” It’s a response to Jesus’ invitation in Matthew 11:28. We
are claiming His promise to refresh us at the end of this prayer.
God refreshes us. We abide with him. We’re transformed
by him. So we press the pause button and give him time.
Take seven deep breaths, just like what I described
previously, but do it like you’re taking them from the bottom
of your feet. Then breathe out slowly. Saint Ignatius would say
to use your faith and imagination that what you’re taking in is
God’s grace. Receive His unconditional love for nobody else in
the world but you.
After you do that, Saint Ignatius says you should do things.
First, ask the Lord to take you to that moment of your day for
which you are most grateful. Recall the moment of your day
that uplifted you, made you feel good, or affirmed you. Relive
that moment again. Maybe somebody said, “I like your new
outfit. It looks good.” Or maybe somebody else said, “I really
appreciate the fact that you listened to me. You didn’t give me
any advice, you didn’t interrupt me, but you just listened and
that really helped me.” Saint Ignatius would say, “Allow yourself
to experience that moment again in its entirety. Feel what you
felt, but this time with a prayer of thanksgiving.” So you say,
“Lord, thank You so much for Doris. She made all the difference
in my day today. Bless her tonight.”
So you’ve gotten yourself relaxed, you’ve connected with our
Lord in prayer. You’ve imagined His grace and His love pouring
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into you. Now you ask the Lord to take you to that moment
of your day for which you are least grateful. That moment of
your day that upset you, irritated you, confused you, or made
you feel anger or hatred. Don’t worry about your feelings. They
are neither bad nor good. It’s what you do with those feelings
that can either be sinful or virtuous. Now ask our Lord to take
you to that moment. Somebody said something nasty to you.
Someone walked by you without even saying hello or noticing
your presence. Somebody else got angry at you because you
didn’t meet their expectations at work or at school. Saint Ignatius
would say, “Allow yourself to experience that moment in its
entirety. Remember it. Don’t deny the pain of how you feel. Feel
it again with this difference. Don’t try to fix it.”
That’s what keeps us tossing and turning at night, you
know. We try to fix it. We plan our revenge. We get more irritated
and more noisy inside. Ah, but if you do the examen and allow
yourself to experience that moment of crucifixion, you can say
thank you. Ignatius would say a prayer of thanksgiving to the
Lord for being with him in his moment of pain. “Lord, did You
ever have a day like this?”
When you think about it, most of Jesus’ days were like
that. Look through the Gospels and find the different miracles
that Jesus performed. Can you find one where somebody thanks
Him after He performs a miracle? There’s only one that I can
recall, when He healed ten lepers and one came back to give
thanks. Aside from that, nowhere else where a miracle took place
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The Examen
did Jesus receive any thanks. So thank the Lord simply for being
with you in that moment. Then blow out the candle and return
to whatever you’re doing.
Try this kind of prayer for a week. Or maybe you want to
try the centering tonight and do the examen alternately. I think
you will see a huge difference because you’ll be at rest. You’ll look
forward to the solitude and quiet. And that’s where you’ll find
your worth.
Your worth is not in your function or in what you do. Your
worth is the realization that you’ve chosen God. To choose God is
to become aware that you are known and loved beyond anything
your imagination can conceive. You are known and loved before
anyone even thought of you or knew your name. To embrace
that truth at its deepest level, you have to be with the Family.
And They want to interact within the deepest part of your soul
to let you know that you’re lovable, forgivable, and redeemable.
You don’t have to prove your self-worth to anyone. When
you have inner quiet, you’ll be able to approach whatever
problems you have in a much more creative way. Why? Because
you’re not doing it alone. I often say when I give a retreat, “What
you do is not your responsibility. Rather, it’s your response in
faith to God’s ability to work through you and touch the hearts
and lives of other people in simple yet meaningful ways.”
Maybe you’ll want to do what Fr. Mychal Judge did. He
is called “the Saint of 9/11.” He was a Franciscan priest who
struggled his whole life with alcoholism and same-sex attraction,
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but he was celibate. He was the fire department chaplain. Every
day, he would get up and serve the poor. He would say this prayer:
“Lord, take me where You want me to go; let me meet who You
want me to meet; tell me what You want me to say, and keep me
out of Your way.”
You never go alone anywhere. The Father is always with
you. So is the Son. So is the Holy Spirit. The Lord keeps us under
His wings even as we go through tough times. We remain at
peace and at rest even when a storm swirls about us because we
know that God is in control.
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Triduum
From Death into Life
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The older you get, the more quickly time
passes by. When you’re in your fifties and
your sixties, you begin to slow down a little
bit. You die to the vibrancy of your youth.
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Chapter EIGHT
What’s It Like to Die?
A
t three o’clock in the morning last week, I got a text
message from the United States that one of my closest
friends for the past forty-two years, Sav Pasqualucci,
died suddenly. Six hours later, I got another text message that
another good friend, Jim Dolan, also died suddenly. Three hours
after that, a priest with whom I was assigned for seven years,
Msgr. Ray Merman, died unexpectedly.
Three men that I knew very closely all died on the same
day. Sav was eighty-two. When I spoke to him the other night, he
was very weak. I said, “Wait for me until May 1st. I’ll be back.”
But his doctor said to me, “I don’t think he can wait that long.”
He was right.
The price of love is loss, but still we pay. We love anyway.
I wish my friends were still alive so I could say goodbye. I wish
Jesus was there and brought them back to life, just as He did with
Lazarus. But it made me think about death. What is death like?
Does it hurt to die?
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What’s It Like to Die?
The truth is, all of us have died many times—not to hurt us
but to open us up to something that no one could have explained
to us until we experienced it. Life teaches us a lot about death.
Imagine for a moment that you were in your mother’s womb.
Your guardian angel suddenly appeared to you and said, “For
nine months, you’ll have a beautiful world here. It’s dark but
you have everything you need. You have warmth and security.
You’re surrounded by your mother’s love. You get nourishment
from the umbilical cord. By the ninth month, you have your
own swimming pool, the amniotic fluid. It’s a peaceful, beautiful,
noiseless world.”
Then your guardian angel says to you, “This is nice but
you’re not really living. Wait till you see what it’s like in the
outside world. Wait till you see light for the very first time. Wait
till you see what it’s like to celebrate your birthday and have all
your friends around you. Wait till you see what it’s like to see a
sunset on Manila Bay.”
You listen to all this and reply, “Oh, c’mon. There can’t be
anything beyond this. I like it here. I don’t want to give up my
world.” The angel says to you, “If you want to experience all the
beautiful things that I just described to you, you’ll have to die.”
Then you’d say, “Oh, no. I don’t want to die! I’m frightened of
that.”
But you die anyway. You die to your mother’s womb and
you can never go back in there again. The death was not meant to
hurt you. Rather, it opens you up to something that no one could
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have explained to you until you experienced it.
We go through our childhood and play with our dolls and
toys. We think we’re the center of the universe because everyone
pays attention to us and tells us we’re so blessed.
Do you remember the day when you put away your toys
and never played with them again? There was a day when that
happened and that was a moment of death—death to your
childhood. Again, it was a death that wasn’t intended to hurt
you but rather to open you up to another new experience called
school where you recognized that you were no longer the center
of attention. But this stage brings a lot of beautiful things. You
make new friends. You study, you worry about passing your tests
and meeting deadlines. Then graduation comes and you die once
more. On the day you got your diploma, you died to those fears
and worries about passing exams. They were not meant to hurt
you but open you up to something new that no one could have
explained to you: a career.
The older you get, the more quickly time passes by. When
you’re in your fifties and your sixties, you begin to slow down a
little bit. You die to the vibrancy of your youth.
Ask somebody who’s in their eighties or nineties and they’ll
tell you that they feel like the same person they were when they
were twenty. But now they have wisdom—and wisdom tells
them this isn’t really our home. We’re on our way home. That’s
why we’re called the pilgrim church, because this earth is not our
home, any more than the womb was not your home. We’re going
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What’s It Like to Die?
to leave this world. When the time comes, we will let go and let
God take us home.
Every passage of your life from teenage to young adulthood
to middle age to old age involves a precise moment of death that
you neither notice nor feel. How much more so our physical
death. The Apostle Paul puts it well: “Eye has not seen, nor ear
heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which
God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9,
NKJV).
I once spoke with a mystic recognized by the Catholic
Church who has experienced heaven. I had been thinking about
my friends Sam, Jim, and Monsignor Ray who all died on the
same day and I missed them. I wondered what that moment was
like for them. So I asked the mystic, “Do people who love us and
who have died miss us?”
She said to me, “Do you love your mother?” I replied in
the affirmative. “Would you want to go back in her womb?” she
probed further. I shook my head.
“As much as people who have died and are in heaven love
you, they don’t want to come back to earth any more than you
would want to go back into your mother’s womb,” she explained.
“Do people in heaven see us?” I asked.
She said, “Yes, they do, but only when we’re laughing or
smiling.” I asked why. She said, “Because there’s no sadness in
heaven.” She added, “The joy in heaven is so intense that there’s
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no perception of the passage of time. So when you and I arrive
and are greeted by Jesus and our loved ones who have died, it will
feel to them and seem to them that they just left.”
Then I asked her a funny question. “A lot of people ask me,
how old will we look when we’re in heaven?”
She didn’t hesitate to answer, “Thirty-three, same as our
Lord.” So when you reach the age of thirty-three, take a selfie
because that’s how you’re going to look like in eternity.
Yes, there is sadness in loss. I feel very sad because I’ve lost
three people that I deeply care about. But I have hope that one
day, I will see them again in that place where every tear will be
wiped away.
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Some people are driven to achieve their
dreams and to succeed because they want to
stand out. They want to be noticed. Often,
what drives people to pursue success is their
ego.
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Chapter NINE
From Success to Significance
S
ometimes we feel a bit insignificant. There are billions of
people in the world and you may think, “I’m not noticed.”
But the truth is, God loves you so much that the only
one He notices at this moment is you. And He wants you to be
significant for Him. But we can get very frightened because the
world tells us that we have to be a success before we can become
significant, noticeable, or set apart.
Yes, it’s true, we’re called to success. We’re called to follow
our dreams. But on the way to success, we will encounter the fear
of failure.
Ten years after I was ordained a priest, I was invited to my
high school. The principal called me and asked if I could speak
about success before the members of the National Honor Society
and those who would be newly invested. You must understand
that the members of this group are very successful in academics.
These are students who had to have a ninety-five—or above—
average. I said, “Are you sure that you want me to give this talk?”
He said yes.
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When I got up to speak, I said, “I feel honored to give
this address this morning. But it’s kind of ironic because when I
was in school here, I was not a member of the National Honor
Society. As a matter of fact, my average for four years was 72.2. I
graduated ‘summa cum the generosity of the faculty.’
My great fear for those in the National Honor Society, I
told them, was that they would think they would never fail. And
for those who were not members of the National Honor Society,
my fear was that they would think that they would never succeed.
Some people are driven to achieve their dreams and to
succeed because they want to stand out. They want to be noticed.
Often, what drives people to pursue success is their ego. The great
Austrian psychologist and doctor, Alfred Adler, said that the ego
is the most powerful instinct we have. When you think about
it, it’s true. Think of the times you took a selfie with a group of
people. As much as you love your friends, who do you look at
first when you see the picture? Yourself, right?
Even when you become successful, it’s not enough. We
pursue success hoping it will bring us happiness, but it doesn’t.
There was a great writer in the United States by the name of
Dennis Prager who wrote a significant book, Happiness Is a Serious
Problem. There, he mentions an advertorial in the Los Angeles
Times that said, “If you are not completely satisfied with your sex
life, come see us.” Well, if everyone who is not completely satisfied
with their sex life came to that unit, there would be millions of
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people in line because no one is completely satisfied—especially
when they’re successful. You know why? Because our human
nature is insatiable. Nothing can ever fill us up completely. Even
when our love tank is full, there remains a measure of loneliness.
Saint Augustine put it well when he said, “You and I are made
for God and our hearts are going to be restless until they rest in
Him.” Success is not enough.
Success must lead to significance. Jesus said, “You want to
be a success? You want to be My disciple? OK. I’m going to give
you a lot of comfort in your faith, I’ll answer a lot of your prayers,
maybe even grant you some great miracles. But if you really want
to follow Me, you have to take the path of Good Friday. You have
to take up your cross daily and follow Me.”
What is your cross? As an unknown poet said:
Not all the crosses are on hills against a crimson sky
Not all the riven hands are pierced
Nor all the pierced hearts die!
We face a thousand little deaths
That none may see or guess
What scarring wounds we hide beneath our body’s loveliness:
The little song that missed its way, love patient and unclaimed
Old scornful words whose memory still turn us sick with shame
The smile that wisped a scorpion’s lash
Grey eyes that did not heed
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The friend relied and leaned upon that failed us in our need.
Not all crosses are on hills, but God keeps those in sight
Who come back down from Calvary with hands unscarred
and white!
(Unknown)
The cross is more than a piece of jewelry hanging from a rock
star’s ear. Because you can be a successful celebrity and be totally
insignificant. How do we move from success to significance? By
taking up our cross daily and following Him.
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Chapter TEN
‘Still I Will Praise’
L
et me share the story of two people who, in the eyes of
the world, could be judged as insignificant. The first
person was successful. She wrote two books and was the
musical director of the youth choir of San Juan Capistrano, a
famous Catholic church in California. She has a voice like an
angel and could easily be in The Voice series in the United States.
Her name is Renee Lacouague Bondi. In 1988, Renee went to
a dance with her boyfriend, Michael. After the dance was over,
Michael surprised her with a proposal and an engagement ring. It
was the most joyous night of her life. At home that night, she had
a hard time falling asleep but finally did. Then a freak accident
happened when she fell out of bed and landed on her neck. She’s
been a quadriplegic since then and can’t feel anything from her
neck down.
Still, Mike made good on his proposal and married her.
Doctors said she would be wheelchair-bound all her life but they
eventually had one child. Her cross was that she would not be
able to move her arms and legs again.
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Some years after Renee became paralyzed, her sister
Michelle was riding behind her own husband in a dune buggy
in the desert. It was getting near nightfall and they were driving
pretty fast. Her husband put out his arm to signal a left turn. She
was going to follow suit but didn’t quite make it. She went off the
cliff. She became a paraplegic.
Two sisters—one quadriplegic, another paraplegic. They
both live in their parents’ compound. When I visited them ten
years ago, one came from my left and the other came from my
right in their wheelchairs wearing big smiles on their faces. We
had lunch together and after ten minutes, I didn’t even notice
that they were paralyzed. Because everything from their neck up
radiated the kind of significance that springs from success from
the cross.
More than a decade after her accident, she wrote a book
called The Last Dance but Not the Last Song. She was invited to
go to the Holy Land and she would sing on Christmas Eve at the
Church of the Nativity. She was also invited to go on a special trip
to that pool where the man who was paralyzed was completely
healed. Remember that story? Jesus asked the paralytic, “What
do you want?” He replied, “I want to be healed.” And Jesus
healed him.
Renee went to that spot alone with her husband, Michael,
and prayed there. She knew this would be the one last opportunity
to be healed of paralysis like that man so many centuries ago. She
prayed, “Lord, if You heal me of this paralysis, what a great witness
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I will be for You. I will sing of Your praise with the voice that You
gave me. I’ll be able to play volleyball. I’ll be able to dress myself
and comb my hair. I’ll be able to go to the bathroom without
people having to clean me. I’ll be able to drive my son back to
college. I’ll be able to do all those things that I see everybody else
is doing. And I promise You, Lord, if You heal me now, I will
bring Your healing power and Your message of love to the world
in ways that I’ve never been able to do these past twenty years. So
I beg You, Lord, heal me.”
Michael put his hands on her shoulders and they waited.
One minute. Two minutes. Nothing happened. Everything
within her must have wanted to cry out, “Why? Why me?” We
ask God that question a lot. But you know, God never answers
that question.
Even after all that Renee had been through for twenty
years, after hoping against hope that she would be cured of her
paralysis, this was her prayer: “Still I will praise.” What a great
example of what significance really is.
These last couple of weeks for me have been extremely
difficult. In one week, I lost two best friends that I’ve known for
decades. One was Sam who was ninety-two. They called Sam
“300 pounds of Jesus.” When he was in his fifties, his friends
said, “Oh, Sam, as fat as he is, he’s not going to live beyond sixty.”
But he lived to be ninety-two and died of a massive stroke.
Then I got a text at three o’clock in the morning from my
my cardiologist, Dr. Minh Nguyen. It said, “Sav is on his last
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‘Still I Will Praise’
legs.” Sav, my dearest friend in the world. I had promised Sav
that I would preach at his funeral and I wanted so much to be
in the United States to do that. But knowing him, he would say,
“Father Bob, I don’t need you. You need to be in Manila where
you’re serving. And in the middle of whatever your feelings are,
you need to say what Renee Bondi said, ‘Still I will praise.’”
If your boyfriend broke up with you and you don’t feel
like living, let your first prayer be, “Still I will praise.” If you are
same-sex attracted and people make fun of you, and you wish
you could change but you haven’t been able to, let your prayer be,
“In the midst of all of this, I’ll take up the cross of my same-sex
attraction daily and pray, ‘Still I will praise.’” If your father has
a second family and your lives are broken, let your prayer in the
midst of your anger be, “Still I will praise. I’ll take up that cross
daily. I’ll follow You and I will become significant because of it.”
You and I are called to be significant and there’s only one
way to get there. First, we become a success by following our
dreams and never letting them go. But realize that there always
has to be a transformation from success to significance. When we
are able to rise above the Good Fridays of our life and pick up
our cross daily, we become the significant other of the crucified
yet risen Christ. Renee Lacouague Bondi knows what it’s like to
pick up her cross daily. And she says to you and me, “No matter
what—still I will praise.”
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Chapter ELEVEN
Pick Up Your Cross Like
George Did
T
he second person I’m going to tell you about is the
happiest man I’ve ever met in my entire life. I met
George Sipple when I became a parish priest. The
former parish priest told me, “George takes communion to the
home for the aged once a week. He sets up for Mass at 5 a.m.
every day. He will serve at Mass for you and he’s a wonderful guy.
Wait until you meet him.”
The next morning, I met him. He was eighty years old.
After Mass, he said to me, “Oh, Father, you must come and meet
my wife, Anne. We’ve been married for fifty-seven years.” Then
he added, “But, Father, wait until you meet my son, Joey.” His
eyes were wide open with pride so I thought maybe Joey was a
scientist or had achieved some great success in his life. When
George took me to his house for breakfast, I met Joey.
When Joey was born fifty-five years before that, they
couldn’t get his head out of the birth canal. So the doctor went in
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Pick Up Your Cross Like George Did
with forceps and he squeezed a little bit too hard. Joey came out
with brain damage. The doctors encouraged George and his wife,
Anne, to institutionalize their son. He would never go to school.
He would never be able to communicate. He would never even
be able to connect with them as mom and dad in any meaningful
way.
George and Anne became significant that day. They
picked up their cross and followed Jesus by saying, “We’ll take
Joey home.” And they never had a day of vacation after that.
Somebody always had to be with Joey and the routine was the
same every day, especially after George retired from being a
bakery truck driver. By worldly standards, he was insignificant.
He wasn’t very successful except that he kept a steady job. But he
became a significant other of the crucified Christ.
How? The routine was the same every day. At 4 a.m. they
would get up and they would take Joey into the bathroom. After
bathing him, they would dress him. He can’t pull up his zipper
or put on buttons so they did this every day for the past fifty-five
years. They would take him downstairs and sit him on a reclining
chair. George would go off to Mass, serve, and come back. Now
it’s time for his breakfast. Joey can’t chew hard food because he
would choke, so his food had to be puréed. George would take
the spoon and start feeding his son. The most that Joey would
do would be to grunt. And it’s an irritating sound to hear every
few minutes. But George wasn’t annoyed by it. All he saw was
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the son he loved. Every once in a while, Joey would spit out his
food. “That’s OK, buddy,” George would say and and he would
wipe the food off his chin. It took him forty-five minutes to feed
Joey. What patience!
George reminded me of what God the Father must be like.
Often, we pray to God the Father, “Give me this day my daily
bread.” And then like Joey we can spit it out. But the heavenly
Father, by His mercy and forgiveness, wipes off our chin and
gives us a chance to start again.
George told me, “You know, Father, we’re so lucky, so
blessed to have our Joey.”
George would also take communion to the home for the
aged. Many of the people there are lonely and looking for visitors.
He said, “Father, you know when I go there, I take out that host
and hold it up, they smile. They come back to life.” Yes, because
of the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and because of the
joyous presence of George who loves them unconditionally.
One day, George came to me and said, “My daughter has
brain cancer.” She died two months later. George was at the
funeral with his wife. He cried. But he was at Mass the next day,
setting up, inviting me to breakfast.
Then his wife had a stroke. I remember being with him in
the hospital as he held her hand and said such beautiful loving
things to her—things that weren’t uncomfortable for him to
say because he said it to her often. He said, “Thanks, Annie, for
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staying with me and putting up with me these fifty-five years.
Didn’t we have good times together? Didn’t we take good care
of Joey?” Then he kissed her goodbye. Finally, Joey died too. So
George was all alone in the world. Three people that he loved
very much were gone. The price of love is loss and he mourned
their loss. But he was always happy. It wasn’t phony.
Our newspaper made him very significant in the eyes of the
people of the diocese of Allentown, Pennsylvania. They did a full
page article on him in which he told his story and about his Joey.
Two weeks later, I got a telephone call. It was his next-door
neighbor. “You better hurry, Father Bob. Something’s wrong
with George,” the voice at the end of the line said. So I headed
to his home. The door was locked and we had to break it down
to get in. I had never seen anything like this in my entire life.
George obviously collapsed. He had a heart attack. And when
people have a heart attack, they fall in an unusual pattern, usually
bunched up like a fetus. Not George. He fell flat on his face
with his arms extended on the floor. The cross he had picked up
daily, he was finally able to lay down. Imagine what the reunion
must have been like with his Anne, his daughter, and especially
Joey. Because now, Joey was free of his brain damage. Imagine the
conversation between George and Joey, that Joey now would have
the opportunity to perfectly communicate how he appreciated
the love he received from his dad day by day, year by year, never
failing at love.
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Notice Jesus doesn’t say, “Pick up My cross.” He says, “Pick
up your cross.” George picked up his cross and he wasn’t phony.
That’s significance. That’s success.
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On Good Friday, don’t settle for what you
think you deserve because of your sins.
Rather, experience what grace delivers to you
as you pick up your cross each day.
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Chapter TWELVE
Don’t Waste Your Pain
W
hen you’re broadsided by life, when you’re in
your Good Friday, when you’re feeling any kind
of pain—emotional or physical—the message is,
“Don’t waste your pain.”
We are Christians, not masochists. We don’t look for pain,
and God doesn’t give us crosses. It’s people who give us crosses.
Life gives us crosses. The LRT gives us crosses. EDSA gives us
crosses.
God does not send crosses to punish us. We punish
ourselves. When He gives us mercy in the sacrament of penance
and we leave still feeling guilty, why do we do this? Because we
feel as though we need to be punished.
When Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday, He said,
“No more punishment. When I forgive you, you’re justified just
as if you’ve never sinned, just as if you’ve never done that. Lay the
burden down. Stop beating yourself up, but take up your cross
daily and follow Me.”
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Don’t waste your pain. It can be redemptive for others.
Look how redemptive it was through the life of Renee. It was the
same for the parishioners who witnessed George’s sacrifice. Jesus
sends powerful actual graces when we unite whatever pain we
have with His ongoing sacrifice to the Father.
Maybe someone you know is at the moment of death and
they’re scared of God or they don’t believe in Him. What you
can do is take whatever discomfort you’re experiencing at the
moment and pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, the most
powerful prayer you can pray for someone who is dying. Or
maybe you can dedicate the next twenty minutes of your pain for
the nurses, doctors, and healers of the hospital where that person
is. This is a way to become significant in that particular situation.
Nobody else might notice but Jesus does.
When Jesus walked around Galilee during His three years
of ministry, He always noticed the people whom nobody else
noticed. He stopped and He touched them. He touched the leper
even if it was against the law. He turned things upside down.
Then He did the most beautifully significant thing of all time: He
gave Himself for us. What was a failure in the eyes of the world
that didn’t believe became the very act that would save all men.
On Good Friday, don’t settle for what you think you deserve
because of your sins. Rather, experience what grace delivers to
you as you pick up your cross each day.
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Chapter THIRTEEN
The Day Before Easter
W
hat happened on Black Saturday? There’s nothing
about it in the Scripture or the Gospels. What
we know is that during those hours, the Apostles
were at the place where they had the Last Supper and they were
crestfallen. They had lost a best friend, someone they had traveled
with for one thousand one hundred days all around Galilee. They
had heard all His teachings and witnessed all His miracles, and
now He was gone.
Scripture tells us that Jesus’ followers didn’t understand
what He meant when He said, “I will rise again.” So they
believed He was dead and they missed Him. They felt lost. They
were angry at Peter for bragging that he wouldn’t betray Him
even if the others would. It was a tense atmosphere of grief and
exasperation. But I think the predominant feeling in that upper
room was guilt. And rightly so.
Except for John, all of them had abandoned Jesus just
when He needed them the most. They ran away and hid. As for
Peter, when Jesus saw him as He was coming out of the court of
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Caiphas, He just looked at him. No words were exchanged. The
Gospel tells us that Peter went away and wept bitterly. You only
weep bitterly when you have extreme guilt and feel like a total
failure.
On Easter Sunday night, I imagined the Apostles were
scared to death that the Romans would come and arrest them
anytime and crucify them. If Jesus had knocked on the door, they
probably wouldn’t have opened it out of fear. So Jesus walked
right through the walls. When they saw Him, they were giddy
with sheer joy for about a minute. Why? Because the feelings of
missing Jesus were gone. He’s alive! He’s risen! But what about
the guilt?
When Jesus came in, He greeted them with, “Peace be with
you.” To show He meant it, He showed them His hands and
side. I think what they expected from Him was condemnation.
“You’re fired. Sorry, guys, I told you what I was going to do and
you didn’t believe Me. How can I ever count on you? How do I
know you’ll never abandon me again?” But our God is a God of
surprises. Jesus said, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you”
(John 20:21).
Do you see the absolute forgiveness and undeserved mercy
that Jesus gave? Not only that. He empowered them also to forgive
sins. The Apostles were incompetent to do anything, and fifty
days later, at Pentecost, they would receive power from on high.
That power would embolden them so that they would never be
scared of the Romans again or anyone else for that matter. Most
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of them became martyrs.
Jesus addresses them as a group and then He disappears.
But we don’t hear anything about Peter, do we? Jesus would
meet Peter sometime later on the beach where the Lord cooked
breakfast for His Apostles. How can we be scared of a God who
cooks breakfast for His friends?
Peter noticed Jesus there so he swam to shore. Remember,
prior to this, their last encounter was when Peter denied Jesus.
Peter must have wondered if Jesus’ greeting of peace to the
Apostles was also meant for him.
The Lord said, “Simon.” He doesn’t call him by his new
name Peter, as if the Lord was taking back his calling. “Simon,
son of John, do you love Me more than the group?” And even
though he felt guilty, Peter said, “Yes, Lord, I love You.”
“Simon, do you love Me?” Jesus asked again. Peter must
have remembered the second time that he denied Him when he
said, “I don’t know the guy.”
“Yes, Lord. I love You.”
“Simon, do you love Me?” By now, Peter must have felt
extreme guilt. But he had to be honest. “Yes, Lord. You know I
love You.”
Was he expecting Jesus to reply, “Too bad. Give me back
the keys”? No. Jesus replied, “Feed My lambs. Feed My sheep.”
Jesus never pointed to the past. He never used the past as
a weapon in the present. But we do that sometimes, don’t we?
When we have an argument with someone and we’re losing the
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argument, we say, “Well, I remember when you did this and
this.” But our Lord, on Divine Mercy Sunday, powerfully says,
“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.”
When the Lord sees our sins, He withholds judgment.
Instead He gives us mercy. In the realization that we are all sinners,
and that we see people’s sins every day, our Lord challenges us to
do the same. Because when we see other people’s sins, often we
withhold mercy and give judgment. But the call for us on Divine
Mercy Sunday is to remember that mercy is always given when
it’s not deserved.
Is there anybody in your life that you can’t forgive? Is there
anybody against whom you’re holding a big grudge? Lay it down.
That experience may have left us with scars in our hands and on
our side, as well as deep in our emotions. But we ask God for the
grace to say, “Peace be with you.” When we do that, like with
Peter and the Apostles, God empowers us to be servants of mercy.
We thank Jesus for not being harsh and judgmental but for being
merciful, graceful, and understanding.
The greatest gift that you can give to Jesus for that beautiful
gift of His mercy is the gift of your grudges. Turn over to God
your resentments and hurts. Lay down the weapons of the past
and say, “Lord, they’re Yours. Do anything You want with them.”
What Jesus gives back to us is something we can’t give
ourselves—peace. And as proof of this truth, He says, “Look at
My hands and My side.”
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Easter
Christ Is Risen!
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If you want the Word to inflame you the
way it did the two disciples on the road to
Emmaus, your heart has to be open. How?
By praying to the Lord before the Word is
proclaimed.
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Chapter FOURTEEN
Inflame Your Heart
with the Word
O
n the road to Emmaus, we find two very human
disciples experiencing the emotions that one would
expect when they’ve lost someone they loved. Their
master had been crucified as a criminal and, three days later, the
reality had set in. So they decided to leave Jerusalem and go for
a seven-mile walk to another town. They’re despondent as they
journeyed. They were debating. Maybe they were saying, “How
is it possible that Jesus could have cured paralytics? How could
He have raised Lazarus from the dead? There He was on the cross
and everybody was shouting, ‘Come down and we’ll believe. Just
one more miracle and we’d all be happy.’ If He had come down,
Israel would have been saved, the Romans would have been
defeated, and we would be truly joyous.”
They were probably thinking of what their relatives would
say to them when they arrive in Emmaus. “We told you so. You
wasted your time following that prophet. But he’s no Messiah.”
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They probably worried about how hard it would be for them to
find a job. “People will think we’re stupid.”
These were the feelings swirling between them when Jesus
joined them. He asked, “What are you discussing as you walk
along?” It says in the Gospel that the two men were constrained
from recognizing Him. Why wouldn’t they be able to recognize
Him? In the Upper Room, all the Apostles were able to recognize
Him. But then again, Mary Magdalene thought that He was a
gardener when she saw Jesus at the tomb. So apparently, Jesus is
able to transform His appearance in His risen presence and make
Himself look ordinary.
“Don’t you know what’s going on? Where have you been?”
the two men asked. They still didn’t recognize Him, but He
opened up the meaning of everything that the prophets had said
about the Messiah. Their hearts started to get inflamed, yet they
still didn’t know who He was. So for the next hour or so, Jesus
gave them a homily on the meaning of the Scriptures.
When they arrived at their destination, it looked like
Jesus would continue on, but they invited Him to dinner. They
wanted to hear more. So they sat down, Jesus broke the bread,
and they recognized Him. Then He appeared as they had always
seen Him, but at the same time His full risen presence—the
way Peter, James, and John saw Him on Mount Tabor. They
recognized Him in the breaking of the bread.
What does all this mean for us?
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At Mass, we have the liturgy of the Word. Often, we can’t
even remember what the readings were immediately after we’ve
heard them. Chances are, like those two disciples on the road to
Emmaus, we were distracted by our other concerns.
Maybe during the readings you were thinking, “I’ll go see
a movie after Mass. Which one will I watch?” Then the lector
says, “The Word of the Lord.” And you reply, “Oh, thanks be to
God.” Your attention just kind of faded away and you missed the
message. But there’s an antidote for that.
If you want the Word to inflame you the way it did the
two disciples on the road to Emmaus, your heart has to be open.
How? By praying to the Lord before the Word is proclaimed. It
takes a while for the lector to go up to the lectern. In that gap,
say, “Lord, I make an act of faith, believing that there is a word,
a phrase, a sentence somewhere in these few lines of Scripture
or in the Responsorial Psalm that’s meant for no one else in this
congregation but me.”
When you pray like this, you will listen with different ears.
And because our Lord never fails to answer that prayer, that
word will pop out at you. Then ask the Lord to reveal to you the
meaning of that word in a practical way during the week.
But the two disciples didn’t recognize Jesus when He
explained Scripture to them. It was during the breaking of the
bread when the veil in their eyes was lifted.
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Real presence is a presence that seeks
to change you. The real presence in the
Eucharist is primarily an action of Jesus who
is renewing our salvation and transforming
us as He did the bread and wine into His
Body and Blood.
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Chapter FIFTEEN
The Real Presence
in the Eucharist
T
he two disciples recognized Jesus in the breaking of the
bread. That’s the other part of the Mass where you and
I receive Holy Communion.
Scripture says, “Whenever two or three are gathered in my
name, there I am in your midst.” At Mass, there’s more than two
or three of us present. Jesus is here, but His presence is different
in the breaking of the bread. Just as Jesus was able to transform
Himself in His risen presence into a gardener and into a stranger,
so also is He able to transform His risen presence in what looks
like a piece of bread.
When you and I receive Holy Communion, we receive
the same Jesus who walked with the Apostles, who burned their
hearts open with the Word, who broke the bread before those
two disciples. It is called real presence.
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In Catholic theology, real presence is not physical presence.
Physical presence is the kind that you would experience when
you’re in an elevator with a lot of people. You get on to a crowded
elevator for the sole purpose of going up or down to another floor,
just as the rest of the people in there are doing. Unfortunately,
this can happen at Mass too, where people are physically present
because we want to make sure they go up to heaven, but they’re
just there.
Now you and I know that when we get out of an elevator,
we’re no different than when we get on. Same thing can happen
at Mass. We can leave Mass no different than when we came in.
We have the same fears, the same worries, the same concerns, and
the same sins we had when we walked in. So physical presence in
and of itself doesn’t change anybody.
Then there’s sociological presence. At the Mall of Asia
Arena, a lot of times there is sociological and psychological
presence. At big basketball games, the place is packed. The crowd
roars. When a team wins, its fans feel wonderful. They hug each
other almost like during the sign of peace at Mass. Then they
leave the parking lot, and all of a sudden, those fans who hugged
each other and believed in the team now become enemies as they
crowd each other on the road. That’s sociological presence. It’s a
presence that only lasts for the time that they are there.
That’s not true of Mass or at The Feast. Here is where we
experience real presence.
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If you’ve ever been a patient in a hospital, you’ll know
what real presence is. Your family and close friends visit you and
do what they can. They pray for you and it lifts you up. But
supposing you have a neighbor you occasionally greet only when
when you see him walking his dog. That neighbor goes out of
his way, takes two jeepneys and a bus to the hospital to visit you.
It’s an unexpected visit, and he stays for only a few minutes but
promises to pray for you before he leaves. That’s real presence.
Why? Because the next time you see that man, the relationship
can never be the same again. His presence changed you and the
way you relate to him. So when you see him, you might stop and
pet the dog. But I think what you would do is say, “Thank you
so much for being so kind and compassionate. I didn’t expect
you to visit me. Why don’t you come over to the house sometime
and have dinner with my family?” Ah, that’s what real presence
means.
Real presence is a presence that seeks to change you. The
real presence in the Eucharist is primarily an action of Jesus who
is renewing our salvation and transforming us as He did the
bread and wine into His Body and Blood. For every action there
is a reaction. What is our action in response to His real presense
within us?
First, you pray. “Lord, help me to pass my exam.” “Lord,
help my lola. She’s very sick in the hospital.” “Lord, my family
seems to be falling apart. Give us the grace to come back together.”
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The Real Presence in the Eucharist
“Lord, I don’t know where I’m going to get a job. I don’t know
how I’m going to pay my bills. Please help me.” Prayer is the
expression of will.
Second is, you worship. Worship says, “I’ve told You
everything I want from You. Now what do You want from me?”
That’s when the power and action of the Eucharist begins to
transform us. It changes us into the person God called us to be as
it did the disciples on that road to Emmaus.
Bo Sanchez said that the Gospel identifies only one of
the two disciples by name. Cleopas was one, but we don’t know
the name of the other one. He said, “You and I are the other
disciple.” So when we receive communion, we say to our Lord,
“Do to me what You do to the bread and wine. Transform me.
Change me. Give me ears to be a better listener. Give me feet to
go outside my comfort zone to serve those who are hungry. Give
me Your eyes to notice people that nobody else notices, just as
You always see people that no one else does.”
So, therefore, when we receive the Eucharist like the
disciples on the road to Emmaus, we want our hearts to become
alive with His Word. We want to be changed just as the bread and
wine were into the Body and Blood of Christ, the real presence.
This way, you and I become real presence to others. How? Not by
doing what is expected of us but by doing what is unexpected of
us. This way, our Catholic community becomes a hero to those
who are hungry for the Word of God.
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So do we believe in the real presence? Yes, the real presence
of the Eucharist. But the question is not, “Is that really Jesus’
Body that we receive?” Rather, it’s how present we are to the
Risen Christ. For what lies behind us and what lies ahead of us is
insignificant compared to what lies within us. What lies within
us is the Risen Body of Christ.
Let’s be that other disciple on the road to our Emmaus.
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There will be justice. In the meantime, work
for God’s justice. Work for peace. Work for
kindness, mercy, reconciliation. You might
not completely succeed but God can see your
heart. He can see your struggles.
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Chapter SIXTEEN
Is God Really Good
All the Time?
E
veryone agrees that God is good. But do all believe that
He is good all the time? If God is good all the time, then
why does evil exist? Why is there suffering in the world?
Why are there tsunamis and flood that kill people? Why are there
weeds among the wheat?
If God is good and He’s all-powerful, why couldn’t He
move the super typhoon so that it wouldn’t hit land and bring
calamity to our people?
There are two kinds of evil. There is physical evil and there
is moral evil.
In 1990, there was a 7.7-magnitude earthquake that hit
Luzon. Experts say another big one is coming that’s why we
constantly have earthquake drills. When that earthquake hit
Cabanatuan, the second floor of a school crashed onto the first
floor and immediately killed a hundred children.
In 2006, a mudslide in Southern Leyte buried a school.
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Is God Really Good All the Time?
Children underneath that mud in the school were reportedly
texting their parents for two to three days until the messages
stopped.
Where was God when these two tragedies happened?
The truth is that God didn’t make a perfect world. Our
earth has been around for millions of years. Human beings have
only been around maybe two hundred thousand years. Long
before there were people on this planet, there were earthquakes,
tsunamis, and typhoons. Couldn’t God have stopped all of that
when man began to inhabit the earth? Yes, He has the power to
do it, but He didn’t. He doesn’t suspend the laws of the universe
because the law that plunges you to the ground if you fell off a
building is the same one that keeps us from floating up to the
ceiling. So God lets nature be nature. He doesn’t change those
rules to suit us or our particular situation.
In a single day, there are thousands of automobile accidents
that happen all over the world. Every one of those victims needs
a good God to intervene and suspend the law of inertia, which
makes moving objects tend to remain in motion. But God doesn’t
do it. He allows the imperfect world He created to be itself—to
act according to its nature.
Sometimes, human beings are in the way of those laws so
physical evil happens. God allows it because if He suspended the
laws of nature whenever He chooses, then you and I cannot rely
on things like gravity. But we can.
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There’s another kind of evil that takes place when God
allows the weeds to grow along with the wheat—when bad people
live alongside good people. Listen to what the householder said
in Jesus’ parable, even though he was aware that the weeds were
planted by his enemy: “Let them grow together until harvest;
then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, ‘First collect the
weeds and tie them in bundles for burning; but gather the wheat
into my barn’” (Matthew 13:30). But in the meantime, we ask
the question, “If God is all-powerful, can He not stop crime?”
President Rodrigo Duterte asked a very important question
that I’ve heard in many different forms in the years that I’ve been
a priest. In an oath-taking of palace journalists’ groups in 2016,
he asked, “So, where is... God when a one-year-old baby... is
taken from the mother’s arms brought under a jeep and raped
and killed. Where is God?”1
In the Parable of the Weeds, Jesus seems to say that God
will wait until the end of time for justice. He will wait until the
harvest. Why? If He is all-powerful, why didn’t God stop that
baby from being raped? The one-word answer to that question is
freedom. When God created you and me, He could have created
us to perfectly follow His will like puppets, or like computers
that are programmed to be loving. But at creation, God chose to
take a big risk by making us in His own image and likeness. To
be capable of making our own opinion. To judge for ourselves.
1 http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2016/09/26/1627621/duterte-defends-death-penalty-questions-godsexistence
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Is God Really Good All the Time?
He made us free human beings upon whom He—as good as He
is—cannot force Himself or His love on us. So when things like
that happened and there are two wills—God’s and our free will
here on earth that is evil—then those weeds will thrive along
with the wheat till the end of time.
This is moral evil.
When you and I engage in gossip, God could make our
tongues cleave to our palates, couldn’t He? He is all-powerful.
But He lets us go right ahead and rip someone’s reputation to
shreds. He says, “I’m patient. I’ll wait. I’ll give you the grace to
change. But when you ask Me the question why, I cannot answer
it. But trust that I am good all the time.”
There will be justice. In the meantime, work for God’s
justice. Work for peace. Work for kindness, mercy, reconciliation.
You might not completely succeed but God can see your heart.
He can see your struggles.
At the judgment, God will be perfectly fair. Nobody gets
away with anything. At the same time, He will be extravagant
with His mercy.
In the midst of picking up our cross, the God who is good
all the time says to us, “Remember that My Son came into your
world and became a victim of the same whys you question. I
didn’t answer Him when He asked, ‘Why have You forsaken
Me?’ Because having faith really means to trust.”
Yes, God is good all the time.
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Chapter SEVENTEEN
This Is No Fairy Tale
E
very Easter, I’m thankful that the Gospel doesn’t begin
with “once upon a time.” Whenever we hear this phrase,
we know it’s a fairy tale. It’s not real. Had the Father
proclaimed, “Once upon a time,” then every year we would
gather on this feast called Easter only to celebrate what was just
an illusion. Instead of a resurrection, we would only have an
Easter egg hunt and some rabbits maybe. But what we celebrate
on Easter is not a fantasy. It’s not a “once upon a time.” It’s the
truth.
On Good Friday, the truth was known throughout
Jerusalem and Galilee that Jesus of Nazareth had been put to
death. The centurion who guarded His tomb knew this, as well
as those who mocked Him, who followed Him, who knew and
loved Him. Jesus’ body was laid in a tomb that was borrowed
for only forty hours. Then He returned it. He came out of that
borrowed tomb and another truth was proclaimed. Jesus of
Nazareth was put to death, yes. But more than that, death has
been put to death.
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For the next forty days, Jesus would be seen by different
people (cf Acts 1:3). He would meet the Apostles in the Upper
Room. They were incredulous for sheer joy. He would meet the
two disciples on the road to Emmaus. He showed Himself to
five hundred men (1 Corinthians 15:6). Some of them didn’t
recognize Him right away. But they didn’t go around saying,
“Once upon a time.” They would shine forth.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Jesus didn’t ascend to the Father?
Imagine if Jesus Himself would be here today and proclaim the
beautiful truth about what He did for us. But He said something
interesting to the Apostles: “It’s better for you that I go.” They
must have said, “No, no, it’s better for us if You stay.” But Jesus
said, “No, because I will send the Spirit. With the Holy Spirit,
each and every one for the rest of history who believes that this
wasn’t a fairy tale will shine forth. You will shine even in the
midst of darkness.”
Let me tell you two true stories that will hopefully drive
home the most important point about Easter. One summer, I
was on vacation in New York City waiting for another priest to
join me. I stayed at the Hotel Edison in the middle of the city, on
the seventeenth floor. I went up in a crowded elevator and people
were getting off floor by floor, until it was only me and two big
guys behind me. As soon as I got off the elevator, one grabbed
my right arm, the other my left. They took my key, opened the
door, pushed me into my room, and took out a knife. I don’t
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know what they say in the Philippines when a mugger attacks
you, but in New York City, they say, “Give it up. Give it up,
man!” And I readily gave them my money. They told me to sit
in the bathroom and not to move. And I didn’t for the next five
minutes. Then they left.
Here’s the other story.
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Think what that would be like. No Bible,
no prayer group, no one to affirm him in his
faith. You would think that his faith would
die a natural death.
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Chapter EIGHTEEN
Let Your Little Light Shine
I
met a priest when I first moved to Manila. He was ninetyfive years old. Since he was Irish and I’m Irish American,
we hit it off right away. I had coffee with him one time
and asked him how he ended up in the Philippines. He said,
“I was in China in 1952 during the Cultural Revolution. I had
a parish in a big-sized town and I was kind of popular. I loved
the people; they loved me. Then I was arrested. The authorities
told me, ‘We’re going to put you on trial. We will take you to the
center of town, put you on a platform, and the prosecutor will
ask you a question. You will answer the question this way: ‘My
parishioners, I’ve been lying to you. There is no God. There is no
Jesus Christ. There is no resurrection.’ That’s all you have to say
and we’ll let you go.’”
“What did you tell them?” I asked.
“What do you think?” he replied.
“So what did they do with you? Did they put you in jail?”
“No,” he said, “they put me in a cage—for two years.”
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Let Your Little Light Shine
The cage was just high enough for him to sit up and
just long enough to stretch out. No pillow, no blanket. Every
morning, the guards would come and taunt him, “Where is your
Jesus? I thought He rose from the dead. Why doesn’t He come
and let you out?” They did that every day for two years.
“How did you keep your sanity?” I asked.
“Well, I tried to remember everything I learned in my life.
History, geography, mathematics, philosophy, theology. I would
go through it in my mind and that kept me sharp.”
“But how did you keep your faith?”
Think what that would be like. No Bible, no prayer group,
no one to affirm him in his faith. You would think that his faith
would die a natural death.
He answered, “About a half hour before they would bring
the slop they gave me for breakfast, I would work my way
around in the cage so that I was facing south. That’s where the
mother house of the Columban Fathers is. Long before there
was concelebration, I would unite myself with their Mass. I
memorized the Latin version, and I would think of a reading and
a Gospel. After that, I knew the guards would come to mock me.
So I would sing a little song to myself.”
This is what he sang:
This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
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This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
He sang that to himself every day because he believed that
he was the only Gospel that these men would ever read. He
wanted to be the Good News. So when they came and gave him
his breakfast, he greeted them good morning. They would give
him his slop and he would thank them for his breakfast. They
said, “You’re nuts.” Yes, maybe for the first five or ten days, but
after a year of seeing him in a good mood every day, they must
have changed their minds. Finally, after two years, they came one
morning and said, “We’re going to give you one more chance,
Father Shaun. Will you renounce your faith in Jesus Christ?”
You know what he did?
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Each of us has a little light. What’s so
beautiful about that is nobody in the history
of the world has ever been or will ever be
you or me. No one walks exactly where you
walk every day. Nobody sees exactly the same
people you see every day.
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Chapter NINeTEEN
Be the Good News
F
or the first time, they heard him sing “This Little Light of
Mine.” They thought he went crazy so they let him out.
So Father Shaun came to the Philippines.
You know what struck me about him? There was no hatred
or anger in him. He was an absolutely joyous guy. He enjoyed
life and played golf until he was ninety-five. One day, he went
back home for a vacation. A TV personality was there as he came
on the golf course and started to interview him. He suddenly
collapsed and died.
What’s my point with these two stories? Supposing those
muggers, when they pulled a knife on me, said, “You’re a priest,
right?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a Catholic?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Give it up. Give it up, man, or we’ll kill you.”
What would I have said?
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Be the Good News
I believe God gives us great grace at that moment. It’s the
same grace He gave to two million martyrs in the first three
centuries of the Church who walked to their deaths as if they
were going to a wedding reception. You don’t do that for a “once
upon a time.” You do that for a truth that is so beautiful, so
incomprehensible, and yet so joyous that you sing on your way
to your death.
Each of us has a little light. What’s so beautiful about that
is nobody in the history of the world has ever been or will ever
be you or me. No one walks exactly where you walk every day.
Nobody sees exactly the same people you see every day. You
might be the only Easter gospel those people will see and hear
every day. One day at a time, even in the midst of darkness, be
Good News to them. How? “For I was hungry and you gave me
food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you
welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for
me, in prison and you visited me” (Matthew 25:35-36).
Do you realize how much power you have within you to
touch others and be significant in the lives of those you meet?
Do you realize the awesome mystery of your life? You could have
been born five hundred years ago. You could have been born five
hundred years from now. Imagine what the technology will be
by then. But somehow, out of a billion possibilities, you are here
in this century. Our Lord wants to use you to touch others with
your own life.
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Let me end with this story. Saint Teresa of Calcutta was
asked a question. “Most of the people that you pick up off the
streets, they’re dying. Most of them are not Christians. Do you
ever tell them about Jesus? Do you ever evangelize them?” She
replied, “Well, first I pick them up. Second, I take them there.
I wash them and I put medicine on their wounds. But most of
them are dying so I take a hold of their hand and I gently say to
them, ‘Would you like to meet Jesus?’ One man said to me, ‘Is
Jesus anything like you?’”
Saint Teresa answered, “Oh, no. Jesus is not like me. But
every day, I try to be like Jesus.”
The great Jesuit priest, scientist, philosopher, and genius of
a man, Fr. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, captures what the Easter
message should do to us. He said, “Someday, after mastering the
winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God
the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of
the world, man will have discovered fire.”
May that fire blaze in you through your experiences. Go
and shine forth!
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Fear was so crushed on Easter that now these
formerly frightened men were fully prepared
to die. On Easter, the Apostles no longer
had to believe. They experienced firsthand
the true joy of Easter. Death had been slain
and all—save one of them—would die
proclaiming that truth!
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Chapter TWENTY
Love Casts Out Fear
W
hen I was a kid, I would go with my friends to
Jordan Park in Allentown, Pennsylvania every
day. There’s a creek there with a concrete bridge
that didn’t have railings or handles you could hold on to. People
would swim in that river but I was scared to death of the water.
Stanley, the lifeguard, was a big guy I looked up to and trusted,
and he would always encourage me to go into the water. He said,
“I’ll teach you how to swim.” Although I trusted him, I replied,
“No, I’m afraid the fish will bite me.” That was the excuse I used
to not swim. One day, I must have been seven then, I looked over
the edge of the bridge to see if there were any fish. While I was
doing that, several boys ran across the bridge and accidentally
knocked me into the water. I remember it as clearly as yesterday. I
fell face down into the river, and because I was so scared, I began
to sink and take in water. I thought, “Oh my God, I’m going to
die!” Then suddenly, out of nowhere, an arm wrapped around my
chest and my stomach, and pulled me out of the water. Stanley
took me to the shore and started to pump my chest to get rid of
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Love Casts Out Fear
some water. Looking down at me with great concern, he asked,
“Are you OK?” I said, “Yes, I’m all right.” Then he said, “Look, I
want to teach you how to swim.”
No longer did I look at Stanley as a guy I admired. No
longer did I see him as someone I just had conversations with
and who would encourage me. Even though I had already known
him for a year, I met him for the first time that day as my savior.
After that, the fear left me. He taught me how to swim. Had
he not given me swimming lessons, I would not have become
the springboard diving champion of Allentown City when I was
thirteen. Because before you dive, you have to learn how to swim.
And before you learn how to swim, you have to be rid of the fear.
What’s the message? “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John
4:18).
Before the Resurrection, the Apostles saw Jesus in somewhat
the same way that I saw the lifeguard before I fell in the water.
They believed in Him, witnessed all His miracles, and listened to
all His teachings the way I believed in Stanley, listened to him as
he taught others to swim, and witnessed him swimming many
times. But I was afraid to follow him into the water. Similarly,
the Apostles were afraid to follow Jesus to the cross despite the
fact that He was their teacher, master, friend, and miracle worker.
Just as I stayed on the bridge, the Lord’s closest followers stayed
safely in the Upper Room. I had to almost drown to meet the
lifeguard in a totally new way—as the man who saved my life.
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So, too, the Apostles had to get to know Jesus in an entirely new
way—as their Savior.
This encounter set them free.
Fear was so crushed on Easter that now these formerly
frightened men were fully prepared to die. On Easter, the
Apostles no longer had to believe. They experienced firsthand
the true joy of Easter. Death had been slain, and all—save one of
them—would die proclaiming that truth!
On Easter, let God’s perfect love cast out your fears and
truly set you free to be God’s champion.
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Advent
Prepare the Way
of the Lord
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This Christmas has to be different. A child
was born in Bethelem to save us all from sin.
But something was born in the Philippines
that reached the United States. And that was
love beyond all telling.
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Chapter TWENTY-ONE
Fasting and Abstinence
During Advent?
I
t was the Second Sunday of Advent 2001. Jaime Cardinal
Sin, archbishop of Manila, sent a pastoral letter to be read at
all parishes in response to the Holy Father’s declaration of the
World Day of Prayer and Fasting for all victims of terrorism and
war. I’ve read many of these kinds of letters and people usually
forget them rather quickly. But they wouldn’t forget this one.
Cardinal Sin wrote to all the parishioners of the Archdiocese
of Manila to outline how they would observe this World Day of
Prayer and Fasting. People in America were suffering after the
terrible tragedy called 9/11, when al-Qaeda terrorists attacked
the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and we as a people
should pray for them. So the cardinal asked that all Masses that
day would be for the reparation for the sins of humankind against
peace. Secondly, he asked that people offer fifteen mysteries of
the rosary to be prayed in public at a time when the community
can gather conveniently.
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People nodded their heads in agreement with what the
cardinal said. But he added something that was like a bucket of
cold water poured on everybody’s preparation for Christmas. He
said that December 14 shall be a day of obligatory fasting and
abstinence. People began to look at each other. “Fasting? Advent?
That’s for Lent, right?” No. It was as if the cardinal was saying,
“We must fast and pray for the people of the United States of
America. Their Christmas might be a little bit better if we can lift
them from the darkness of their grief.”
Then comes the next line of the letter. “There must be no
Christmas parties held on that day. The money saved from not
having any parties on that day must be given to the poor.”
I read that pastoral letter at Greenbelt Chapel during two
Masses. I saw horrified looks on people’s eyes. But during the
homily, I said to them, “I’m going home to the United States for
Christmas. I know it’s going to be a very sad Christmas for most
people. But at midnight Mass, I know that I will be preaching to
the people of the United States about the sacrifice you have made
so that lives and spiritual faith can be restored after the horrible
thing that took place on 9/11. So in the name of the people of
the United States, please let me express our gratitude for your
kindness.”
That Christmas, I did go home and preach about what
the people in the Philippines were doing. I said, “So often, the
United States is seen as a wealthy country and a place like the
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Philippines is a Third World country that needs our help. But
look at the sacrifice that they have made. When Cardinal Sin
said, ‘Let’s give the money to the poor instead of spending it on
a party,’ he was saying that as Christians, we can become heroes
to the impoverished.”
It was an Advent I’ll never forget because people offered
a sacrifice. People were reminded to pray. And along with the
Simbang Gabi, fasting on the Fridays of Advent, and not having
any parties announced to the world, “This Christmas has to be
different. A Child was born in Bethlehem to save us all from
sin. But something was born in the Philippines that reached the
United States. And that was love beyond all telling.”
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People stay in a community where they feel
loved. The nature of our ministries should be
like black soil in which everyone can grow
bigger than the world would ever believe,
and where even stones, like Sadiq, can
become Paul someday.
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Chapter TWENTY-TWO
From Sadiq to Paul
I
n September 2017, I attended a Jesus Encounter of the
Light of Jesus Family, or what others call a Life in the Spirit
Seminar. It’s a requirement for all the servants of The Feast.2
Although I’m a priest, I thought it was my obligation to attend
and be one of the participants because I serve at The Feast too.
The day before the seminar, I had coffee with Sadiq, a Feast
attendee, who wanted to talk to me about an issue. As we finished
with coffee, I mentioned to him that I would be attending the
Jesus Encounter. He asked me what it was and expressed his desire
to attend. I honestly didn’t know the rules but I said, “Yeah, why
not? Just show up. They won’t make you leave.” So Sadiq came.
We sat next to each other at the Jesus Encounter. As it was going
on, he said to me, “I don’t think it was a coincidence that we met
yesterday for coffee. I think that I’m really supposed to be here.”
Sadiq was born and raised a Muslim in Zamboanga. He
began attending The Feast a little over two years ago and was
2
The Feast is the weekly prayer meeting of the Light of Jesus Family.
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From Sadiq to Paul
baptized Catholic. His name is no longer Sadiq; it’s now Paul.
At the end of the Jesus Encounter, there’s a baptism in the Spirit.
I can honestly tell you that the time that led up to that and the
actual laying on of hands by one of the elders was the most
powerful spiritual experience I’ve had since ordination.
They laid hands on my head, and whoop, I went down
like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t scared and it was very relaxing. It’s
called being slain in the Spirit and is traditionally Catholic, by
the way. It was like when Peter received the Holy Spirit the night
that Jesus came into the Upper Room, but he was empowered
by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Paul also received the baptism
in the Spirit. After everyone was prayed over, the emcee said, “I
would like to introduce you to a man named Paul.” Paul went up
on stage and faced the hundred and seventy people present there.
He said, “I came here today by God’s providence. Father Bob and
I just happened to have coffee yesterday. God uses those ordinary
circumstances in our life.” Paul continued, “I was born and raised
a Muslim. But I went to The Feast and my name is Paul now, not
Sadiq, and I’ve been a Catholic ever since. Before I came to The
Feast, I was a drug dealer and an addict for seventeen years. What
I experienced in my baptism in the Spirit convinced me that I
must begin to witness so that people can radically change.”
The war on drugs in the Philippines operates on the premise
that drug addicts can’t change. But Sadiq has shown that it does
happen. Like Saul falling off the horse during his conversion
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experience, so also Sadiq fell out of his drug addiction and rose—
empowered to get up in front of total strangers and tell them the
truth about himself.
We say that The Feast is a ministry to the unchurched, to
anyone who is hurting or broken. It’s precisely what Pope Francis
says the Catholic Church should be—a field hospital in the
middle of war. Our parishes and communities should welcome
everybody first, love them first, journey with them. Then we can
teach them about the faith.
People stay in a community where they feel loved. The
nature of our ministries should be like black soil in which
everyone can grow bigger than the world would ever believe, and
where even stones, like Sadiq, can become Paul someday.
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God wants you to know that you matter. The
greatest triumph of the evil one is to convince
you that you don’t add up to much in the
whole scheme of things. But you are the salt
of the earth. You are the light of the world.
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Chapter TWENTY-THREE
You Are Salt and Light
of the World
T
he advertising industry thrives on convincing
consumers that they’re defective, incomplete, or
unhappy—unless they use this or that product. Just
look at any billboard on EDSA or South Luzon Expressway.
They’re saying, “Do you see these people on the billboards? None
of them have pimples. They have airbrushed, perfect skin. And
not only that. They’re happy too. Why? Because they’re using our
product that we want to sell to you.”
There used to be a billboard in EDSA that was up for
several months. Every First Friday that I would drive near there
to go to Philippine Airlines to celebrate Mass, there it was. It
was an advertisement for a clothing company. There was nothing
on it that talked about color, style, or price. All it had was a
young couple, both of them gorgeous. The handsome guy and
the beautiful girl were in the act of taking each other’s clothes off
because they’re going to make love. In effect, the ad was trying to
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say, “Look at these images. This could be you. The next time you
pass by our store, come in. Buy our clothes and you might find
love.” That’s the “hidden” persuader. But it’s a half-truth. Because
you cannot be happy and live a fulfilled life until you realize the
truth about yourself.
Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth” (Matthew
5:13). During His time, there was no refrigeration, no ice cubes,
no way to keep things fresh. The way they preserved food was to
pour salt on it to keep it from spoiling. What else is salt used for?
To improve the taste of food.
At The Feast, you experience people who are the salt of
the earth. The singers help us to pray twice. The band lifts us up
with their music. The speakers and the attendees give us a taste of
heaven. When people ask me, “What is The Feast like?” I tell them,
“The Feast is like going to heaven without the inconvenience of
dying.” Jesus also said, “You are the light of the world” (Matthew
5:14). One of the properties of light is warmth. When you come
to The Feast for the first time, what you experience is warmth from
people who are the light of the world. We even call these greeters
the “warmth ministry.” They give you a bulletin and can just
greet you good morning routinely. But they don’t. They welcome
you with a smile and give you a first experience of church, of
community, of the truth about yourself. They recognize that
you’re lovable and you’re always welcome here no matter what.
If the advertising industry says, “You’re defective,” at The Feast,
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we say, “You are fearfully, wonderfully made.” What else does
light do? It shines and projects the truth. No matter what you
hear our preachers proclaim at the prayer meeting today, listen
to what they’re not saying. They are telling you the real truth
about yourself—that you are single, unrepeatable acts of God’s
love. That you’re lovable, forgivable, redeemable, whether you’re
gay or straight, a great sinner or a saint, knowledgeable about
God or not. The fact is at The Feast, we want you to know that
we care about you. We want to lift you up so you can experience
authentic love—the love of Jesus.
You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth.
Did you notice that Jesus uses the present tense? Because each of
us is different from the other. God has entrusted to each of us a
mission that no pope, no cardinal, or any other person can fulfill
but you and me.
God wants you to know that you matter. The greatest
triumph of the evil one is to convince you that you don’t add up
to much in the whole scheme of things. But you are the salt of
the earth. You are the light of the world. No one walks where you
walk every day. No one sees the same people you see. Each one of
them are opportunities for you to be light, warmth, truth, love,
care, forgiveness.
Ask our Lord in the morning to put someone in your path
that you can touch with your light, so you can give them a taste
of heaven by the way you treat them. Love is a lot of little things.
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As Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, little things done with great love
have eternal consequences.
There’s a Neil Diamond song entitled “Heartlight” that
goes:
Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine wherever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
So shine wherever you go. May you discover that fire, that
light, that salt that you are.
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Chapter TWENTY-FOUR
Gift Giver Versus
Gift Receiver
A
s Christmas approaches, people get busy doing their
shopping, making sure that their gifts are right for
those who will get them. But here’s the question I
would raise during Christmastime: In this season, would you
rather be a gift giver or a gift receiver?
I think I’d rather be a gift giver because there’s something
about giving that brings Christmas right into your heart. You
want to get the right gift in the hope that the person receiving
it will be surprised and that it will make their Christmas bright.
You look for that reaction on their face that shows they love you
and the gift you gave.
During this preparation season called Advent, let’s reflect
on what kind of a gift receiver we are. For me, there are four
possible ways of receiving a gift. One is to say, “I don’t want it.”
But you would never say that to a gift giver. The second way is
to say, “I don’t need it,” and it’s best illustrated by something
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that happened when I was about ten years old. We celebrated
Christmas in our house, and the next day, relatives who had not
visited the past few years came to visit. They came with a big,
beautifully wrapped box that looked like it might be a television.
They said, “Merry Christmas! We wanted to give you this gift.
Please enjoy.”
So my father untied the ribbon, tore off the paper, and
opened the box. He lifted out a multicolored plastic rooster lamp
with a clock in its stomach that would say “cock-a-doodle” every
minute. To my memory, it was the first time in my life that my
mother lied. She said to my cousins, “Isn’t that beautiful! We’re
going to put that up on a prominent place.” And she did. She
put it up on the mantle in the living room of our house. But as
soon as our relatives left, my father said, “Get that monstrosity
up to the attic!”
If my mom and dad had been really honest about that
rooster clock, they would have said, “I don’t need it.”
Then there’s a third way that we can receive a gift: “It
doesn’t fit.” Supposing that a husband and wife were in the mall
shopping. The wife stops and takes a look into the window of
a clothing store where she sees a beautiful dress that would be
perfect for New Year’s Eve. She lingers there a while, admiring it.
She doesn’t say anything to her husband. She hopes he picks up
the message—that she really liked that dress. But he doesn’t say
anything and they move along and do the rest of their shopping.
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The next day, the husband goes and buys that dress for
his wife. Then on Christmas Eve, he gives her this beautifully
wrapped package and when she opens it, there it is—the exact
dress that she saw on the window. She goes upstairs, tries it on,
and finds that, maybe she’s been to too many Christmas parties
because she can’t get the dress on. She rewraps it, goes downstairs,
gives her husband a big hug and says, “Oh, honey, it’s absolutely
beautiful. Unfortunately, it doesn’t fit. I’m going to have to take
it back and get my size.”
And finally, the fourth way is the one every person who
gives a gift wants to hear from the gift receiver. When the receiver
opens the package, he or she says, “It’s just what I wanted, just
what I needed.”
As we prepare for the coming of Christ, the heavenly Father
wants to give us a gift on Christmas Day just as He did on that
first Noel. That gift is the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus
Himself. The gift of the Eucharist.
There are four responses to the heavenly Father’s present. I
don’t want Him. But no one who is in church would be arrogant
enough to say that. I don’t need Him. I’m doing pretty well right
now. All my bills are paid. There are no conflicts in the family.
My studies are going great. My boss likes me. But if there’s a
crisis, if tragedy happens, or if I need a miracle, then I’ll call upon
You.
The third possible response is, You don’t quite fit my lifestyle.
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I know people who are like that. The only time they mention the
name of Jesus is when they curse at somebody or take His name
in vain. But other than that really, they give Him their spare time
and their small change.
But of course, the response that pleases God the most is,
“Jesus is all that I need.”
God the Father is offering you the most valuable gift of all
on Christmas Day. How will you respond to His gift?
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Christmas
Christ Is Born!
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They prepared well for the Mass. They had
a commentator, two lectors for the readings,
and a choir. The rest who weren’t involved
in any form of service at the Mass amazed
me by their piety, reverence, and attentive
listening. They were joyous because this was
their day.
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Chapter TWENTY-FIVE
My First Christmas
Away from Home
W
hen I first came to the Philippines in September
1999, I lived in an apartment just across the
Greenbelt Chapel where I was assigned. I got
involved with the Emmanuel Catholic Charismatic Community,
which was based there. As Advent neared, I avoided listening to
Christmas songs because it was my first Christmas away from home.
Christmas for me was always midnight Mass with a
possibility of snow. It meant dinner at my sister’s place in Virginia
and unwrapping the presents with the grandchildren in front
of the tree. But now I would be thousands of miles outside my
comfort zone.
But on the first Saturday of Advent, the members of
Emmanuel Community said, “We’re going to have a Christmas
party for street children. It will be on UN Avenue in a home for
street children called Masigla.3 Can you celebrate Mass for us?” I
3 This home no longer exists.
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was a little bit reluctant because the Mass would be attended by
girls aged thirteen to eighteen, all street children. I didn’t know
Tagalog at all and I didn’t know how they would react to me, a
foreigner. For all I know, some of them could have been exploited
by foreigners and were rescued.
So I was very nervous on my way to Masigla. The gate
opened to a lawn that had two park benches. There was a big
three-story house where they all lived. I was surprised by the warm
and hospitable welcome they gave me. There was no hesitation
in them at all. I was still getting used to people taking my hand
and putting it to their forehead for a blessing. They were beaming
because that first Saturday of Advent was their Christmas party.
When you have a Mass for teenage street kids followed by
a party, usually they want you to hurry up with the Eucharistic
celebration. But not these girls. A few of them went to confession
before we started. They prepared well for the Mass. They had a
commentator, two lectors for the readings, and a choir. The rest
who weren’t involved in any form of service at the Mass amazed
me by their piety, reverence, and attentive listening. They were
joyous because this was their day.
After the Mass, I said to them, “You know, you and I have
something in common. We’re going to be away from our families
this Christmas and it’s not going to be easy. I have nowhere to
go on Christmas Day because I don’t know anybody here in the
Philippines. Do you mind if I come and celebrate Christmas
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with you? We’ll have Mass on Christmas morning and then we’ll
have something to eat afterwards.” They heartily agreed.
At the back of my mind, I told myself, “Well, I won’t be
with my family and I will be lonely, but I’m going to make sure
these girls have the best Christmas ever. So I called some of my
friends in the United States and they sent about five hundred
dollars. Since I don’t know how to shop for girls, I gave it to the
women of Emmanuel and said, “Find out what the sizes of their
shoes, dress, and jeans are and buy them gifts.”
Each of the girls would get three gifts.
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The great tragedy of the first Christmas is not
that Jesus was unexpected. The Jews had been
waiting for Him all their lives. But they
expected Him to be born a king in a place
surrounded by servants, far away from them.
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Chapter TWENTY-SIX
God of the Unexpected
I
n the afternoon of Christmas Eve, a van came and parked
in front of my apartment house and they delivered all the
presents—tons of them—and I put them in my room. It felt
like Christmas even though I was alone. Everything in Makati
was closed. The streets were quiet and empty. I called my family
back home wishing everybody a Merry Christmas because we
were twelve hours ahead of them. And for the first time since I
was eight, I went to sleep before midnight.
The next morning was a cool, crisp, cloudless day. The
gang from Emmanuel came to pick me up. They loaded all of the
presents into a van and there was no traffic on Christmas Day as
we drove to Masigla. When we arrived, we saw the girls dressed in
their best clothes. They greeted me, “Merry Christmas, Father!”
Meanwhile, the gifts were being unloaded from the van
and placed on the park bench. They would be distributed after
Mass. The girls looked at all the presents and asked, “Are those
for us?”
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There were about thirty-three gifts there and I said to Mrs.
Jose, the director of Masigla, “Hey, somebody had the same idea
as me. They’re each going to get four presents. That’s magnificent!”
“Oh,” she said, “Those gifts? They’re yours.”
“What?” I said.
“The girls couldn’t figure out how you could have gone
anywhere you wanted to on Christmas, but you decided to
spend it with them. After you left, they asked for their monthly
allowance to buy gifts for you.”
That hit me in the heart unlike any Christmas in my life. It
was emotionally difficult for me to say Mass as I looked at these
girls who took their month’s money and went out to shop for me.
It was so unexpected.
The great tragedy of the first Christmas is not that Jesus was
unexpected. The Jews had been waiting for Him all their lives.
But they expected Him to be born a king in a palace surrounded
by servants, far away from them. But God wanted to be close to
the people He loved. So He allowed His Son to be born in a place
where no one would even look for Him. Even the lowliest of the
poor would not let their child be born in a stable in Bethlehem.
The great tragedy of Christmas is that sometimes we look
for its deepest meaning in the expected places, in the usual times,
and in the most comfortable circumstances. When we do, we
miss its deeper meaning. I missed it for years until that day.
During the homily I told the girls, “When Jesus first came, He
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came to a place like this. He came to a place that nobody else
noticed. I think if He were to come back today, the first place
that He would visit is right here to be with you.”
They sang beautifully during communion. Afterwards, we
all sat down and remained quiet for a few minutes. Then the
choir stood up and the other girls surrounded them. They sang
“Silent Night.” I’ve heard it sung by Pavarotti, cathedral choirs,
and good singers, but never with more meaning. When they sang,
“All is calm, all is bright,” they seemed to be saying, “We’ve gone
through painful lives up to now, but we haven’t lost hope. We’ll
still believe. We’ll still seek that joy that’s given to the world.”
That last Christmas of the century was probably the
most meaningful one that I’ve ever had. I didn’t expect it at all.
Our God is the God of the Unexpected, the God of Surprises.
He surprised me with the deepest meaning of Christmas in a
Bethlehem called Masigla.
That’s why Pope Francis tells us to touch the poor and the
needy, to look into their eyes when we give them alms. Now I
know what he means. Jesus always calls us outside of our comfort
zone. He told us to take the narrow way.
The narrow way isn’t painful. The narrow way is the way
of sacrificial, unconditional love. That’s why Jesus told us not to
invite those who can return favor.
Go out to the peripheries, as Pope Francis would say, and
there you will meet Jesus in an unexpected way at an unusual
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time. In the oddest of circumstances, maybe He’ll reveal to you
the true meaning not only of joy to the world, but also joy to
your heart.
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Ordinary
Time
Walking with Christ
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Humility is the opposite of the ego. It means
putting the ego down and lifting compassion
up so that people will not fear to approach us
for help.
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Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN
The Misunderstood Virtue
of Humility
T
he scribes and the Pharisees were very, very intelligent
and they were proud of all that they knew. Why?
Because they had memorized everything they read.
Most people of Jesus’ day, including the Apostles, couldn’t
read. But the scribes and Pharisees knew the Ten Commandments
and memorized all 613 little commandments that covered every
aspect of Jewish behavior. They were supposed to be the image
of God on earth, yet when they looked at people, they looked as
though they themselves were baptized in calamansi juice, always
looking nastily at others. They took great pride in instilling fear,
threatening, “God will smite you for that!” when they caught
people breaking a tiny law.
The people were ignorant of these laws for the simple
reason that they couldn’t read. And yet the religious authorities
would tell them, “You will be punished. You see those lepers over
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there? They committed some great sin. And if you commit any
more sins, God writes them down and adds them up.”
But as we now know, our God is not very good at addition.
He’s like the little boy who was in a mathematics class and the
teacher said to him, “You have ten pesos. You go to your father
and you ask him for another ten pesos. Now how many pesos
do you have?” The little boy answered, “Thirty.” The teacher
said, “You’re not very good at addition.” And the little boy said,
“Teacher, you’re not very good at knowing my father.”
The scribes and the Pharisees tried to use religion to control
people, to frighten people, and to get them to repent. Yes, you
can repent out of fear. But your change of heart will not last
very long. You can only repent when you know that you’re loved
unconditionally. The people had a sense that these religious
leaders were wrong because they made such demands and they
were filled with pride. But they never dared say it.
Jesus was the first one to call them on it and call them
out. The religious leaders hated Him for it because He knew the
way that He treated people was the way that the heavenly Father
wanted people to be treated—with great love and mercy and
compassion. So He said, “Come to me all of you who are weary
and find life burdensome and I will give you rest” (Matthew
11:28).
In the Gospel, Jesus talked about a virtue that’s very
difficult to grasp. I ask many people, “What do you think is
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the virtue that’s most difficult for you to practice?” Most of the
time the answer is chastity. And that’s understandable. That’s a
difficult one to keep. But I think even more difficult is the most
misunderstood of all the virtues—humility.
Humility means making myself little enough to discover
something big. It’s a virtue that goes against our basic instinct.
Albert Adler, the great psychotherapist, said that our most
powerful instinct is the ego.
Don’t you notice, whenever you take a selfie with a group
of your best friends and you view at the picture afterwards, you
take a look at yourself first? That’s why they call it a selfie. The
ego is very powerful.
Humility is the opposite of the ego. It means putting the
ego down and lifting compassion up so that people will not fear
to approach us for help.
Let me talk about the three aspects of humility.
An attitude of gratitude. Every day, thank God for the big
things and the little things.
There’s no such thing as a self-made man or woman. Your
talents and mine are on loan from God. And when the time
comes for us to die, He will ask, “Did you use those talents to fill
yourself with pride and let your ego dominate? Or did you use
the talents that I gave you to bring others to Me?”
An attitude of detachment. It’s tempting to love things and
to use people to get those things. Often, we can be defined by
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our possessions. Everything you see on the billboards when you
drive on EDSA tells us only thing: “You are defective. There’s
something wrong with you. And if you want love and want
people to notice you, then you have to buy our stuff. If you have
our product, people will admire you.”
No, they won’t. People will simply be jealous of you. So
develop an attitude of detachment from things. And humility
doesn’t mean putting yourself down; otherwise, humiliating
another person would be virtuous. Humility doesn’t mean I’m
shy and I walk with my head down all the time. No, in humility
is the secret of happiness.
Lou Holtz, a famous football coach in the States, said, “If
you want to be happy for an hour, eat a steak dinner. If you want
to be happy for a day, go to the beach. If you want to be happy
for a month, buy a new car. If you want to be happy for a year,
win the lottery. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, make
a difference in somebody else’s life!” And that is the third key
characteristic of humility: availability to serve others. They will
be drawn to you in the same way that they are drawn to Pope
Francis.
God calls you and me to be humble. Each day, ask for the
grace to have an attitude of gratitude, detachment from things,
and being available to others.
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Let me add to what Lou Holtz said, “If you want to be
happy for eternity, love, forgive, and be merciful as Jesus was,
even from the cross.”
Do this and you’ll be happy forever.
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Both American and Philippine constitutions
have a beautiful law—the separation of
church and state. This forbids governance by
religion because when that happens, people’s
dignity and freedom are taken away.
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Chapter TWENTY-EIGHT
Politics and the Church
T
he Pharisees are trying to bring our Lord into a political
debate so they ask Him if it was lawful to pay the census
tax to Caesar. This would have been an excellent time
for Jesus to castigate the Roman government for how they taxed
the Jews in such an oppressive way. It was His chance to make
a statement and tell the Jews that they should get out there and
resist Caesar. But He didn’t do that. As a matter of fact, not one
time in the entire Gospel does Jesus discuss politics.
Once it was offered to Him when He began His public
ministry. Satan appeared to Jesus in the desert and said, “You
want people to follow You? You want to be popular? Go up to
the parapet of the temple, jump off, and have the angels catch
You. People will say, ‘Wow! Did you see that? Let’s follow Him.’”
But Jesus said no. The devil didn’t stop there. “Do You see those
stones? They look like little Jewish loaves of bread. Change the
stones into bread and You will solve world hunger. The people
will love You and they’ll follow You.” But Jesus said, “Not by
bread alone shall man live.” Then finally, for the first time ever,
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Satan told the truth. He took Jesus up a mountain and said,
“Look at all those kingdoms out there. They all belong to me.
That’s the political arena. Go in there and become a politician.
I can help You there.” Jesus replied, “Nope, God alone shall you
serve.” The Lord didn’t give in to Satan’s political invitation.
As an American in the Philippines, Filipinos who would
come up to me and say, “The priests are always talking about
politics in their sermons. I’m tired of it.”
I agree that priests shouldn’t talk about politics. Even in
my own country, I will not talk about who I am in favor of in an
election. Now let me make it clear why I don’t and why priests
shouldn’t.
Both of the American and the Philippine constitutions
have a beautiful law—the separation of church and state. This
forbids governance by religion because when that happens,
people’s dignity and freedom are taken away.
For example, you can have a group of people in the Middle
East say, “You’re an infidel! Unless you become a Muslim, you
will have no rights. We will persecute you because our religion
says that God is the governor and we are the ones who carry out
His laws.” We call that a theocracy, or government by religion.
But it has one big problem. It doesn’t recognize the dignity and
the freedom of people who don’t follow that religion. In the
Philippines, it would be very easy to have a theocracy because
eighty-five percent of the population is Catholic. But what we
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have here is a republic, free elections, and the liberty to worship
God or not believe in Him at all.
Not separating the church and state can be disastrous
because you can have a government that will absolutely forbid
the free practice of religion. Kim Jong-un of North Korea will
not let you bless yourself in public or you’ll be sent to one of his
gulags. There you will be starved, beaten to death, or imprisoned
for the rest of your life. So a government that excludes religion,
that doesn’t recognize the dignity and the freedom of a human
person, and a theocracy that says, “We govern by religion only;
you have no freedom,” is not good. That’s why we need the
separation of church and state.
So what is the role of the church in politics? Pope
Benedict XVI put it well, in his first encyclical Deus Caritas Est
(meaning, “God is love”): “The Church wishes to help form
consciences in political life and to stimulate greater insight into
the authentic requirements of justice as well as greater readiness
to act accordingly, even when this might involve conflict with
situations of personal interest…The Church cannot and must
not take upon herself the political battle to bring about the most
just society possible. She cannot and must not replace the State.
Yet at the same time, she cannot and must not remain on the
sidelines in the fight for justice” (DCE, # 28).
What it says is, if you don’t like what your government is
doing, you have the right to protest it without worrying about
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being arrested as you would be in a place like North Korea. Yet at
the same time, Pope Benedict XVI made it clear that it’s not the
Church’s right to tell you who to vote for.
The Catholic Church here in the Philippines does not vote
en bloc, thank God, because that would be taking a fundamental
freedom away from you. It would make you a mind-numbed
robot and get you to think exactly the way I want you to think.
That’s not what the Catholic Church does. What it does is to
teach principles that flow from the Gospels in which Jesus doesn’t
mention politics except to say, “Pay your taxes. Render to Caesar
what is Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s.”
How do we apply that practically?
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Chapter TWENTY-NINE
Human Rights and
Women’s Rights
I
can only talk about the political situation of my country
because I’m just a guest in the Philippines. But in the United
States, there is a law that says a woman has freedom. In some
cases, that includes the freedom to have your baby aborted almost
up to the moment of birth.
To those who adhere to this law, I want to ask, “Do you
believe in human rights?” Of course, they’ll answer yes.
“Do you believe in women’s rights?” Again, yes.
“Which is more important—women’s rights or human
rights?”
They will probably answer, “Well, it has to be human rights
because you can’t have women’s rights without human rights,
right?”
Makes sense. But when it comes to abortion, people in my
country will say to the Catholic Church, “You’re superimposing
your religion on us. You’re trying to be a theocracy.” No, we’re
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not. Not at all. The Catholic Church believes in the dignity of
the human person and in human rights. Nowhere do we say that
you must believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven
and earth. We don’t say that you must have a crucifix in every
place of business. No, that would be a theocracy. Instead, the
Catholic Church in America, as it does all over the world, will
simply say, “These are the values that flow from that Gospel that
tells us to seek justice and at the same time to be merciful.”
We believe in the ultimate justice of God. That’s why the
Church clearly teaches against the death penalty. The values
that flow from the Gospel tell us that the only one who has the
authority to take a human life intentionally is God. Otherwise,
you have to ask the question, where does government get the
authority to take a human life? Government authorities will say,
“We get it from the people.” Then the question arises: From where
did the people get the authority to take a human life? Nowhere.
At this point, there have been people who said to me,
“Wait a minute, Father, do you have a sister? Supposing she got
raped. Wouldn’t you want the death penalty for that rapist?” I
answered, “No, I’d want to kill him myself!” Sure, it’s called anger
and revenge. But we don’t make policies based on that. When the
feelings settle down, we believe there will be justice. If there’s no
justice here on earth, we believe in a God who is just. Nobody
gets away with anything. Everyone, at some point in time or in
eternity, will have to take responsibility for their actions.
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When Jesus says, “Render unto Caesar the things that are
Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s,” that’s as far as the
Gospel goes about politics. But the principles that flow from that
Gospel help us to form our consciences to be good citizens.
Do we priests and bishops have the right to tell you who to
vote for? No. But do we have the obligation to speak out when
there is an injustice? Of course. To form conscience so that people
will vote responsibly? Certainly.
So a priest shouldn’t preach politics or talk about a particular
politician. That’s not his obligation and he divides people by
doing that. Rather, what we’re called to do is to say, “You make
the judgment. You have a brain. You read the papers. You know
the principles that flow from the Gospel.” That’s what we should
preach.
Let me make it clear that there is a separation, not a divorce,
between church and state. We should work together. For what?
The common good of every human person because we believe in
the dignity and absolute worth of a single human life.
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Get to know the Holy Spirit personally
because He is the third person of the Blessed
Trinity. He will make a huge difference in
your life.
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Chapter THIRTY
A Spirit for All Seasons
A
disciple is a student. Back in the days of Jesus, there
were no real schools. If you wanted to get a higher
education, you had to have money to pay a master
who would teach you everything he knew. Once finished, you
would become a master too. The ones that Jesus called to follow
Him were simple fishermen. They didn’t have money so they got
a scholarship. Jesus said, “Come, follow Me,” because He was a
teacher.
That’s what these men were hoping for. Every one of them
who responded to Jesus’ invitation hoped for a better life, a
more prosperous and educated one so that people would look
up to them. How long would the course be? One thousand one
hundred days. But this batch of disciples would get a lot more
than they expected. They witnessed every miracle, heard every
teaching, remained with Him not just from nine to five but
24/7. They were able to sit down and ask Him any question they
wanted. They did that for three years with the Son of God.
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One time, they said to Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray as
John taught His disciples.” You might say that these students were
the least qualified for what Jesus really had in mind for them,
namely, to be the foundation of a community that would last till
the end of time. He got to the end of the three years and said,
“I’m going away for good.” Philip said, “We don’t know where
you’re going.” And what did Jesus say to this student? “Philip,
all this time I’ve been with you and still you don’t know Me?” In
other words, “After three years, you don’t get it yet, do you?” At
the Last Supper, He told the Apostles, “It’s better for you that I
go. If I don’t go, then you can’t get what I really came here to give
you.” But they didn’t get it. When Jesus rose from the dead and
He went into the Upper Room, they couldn’t believe but were
joyous to see Him.
The disciples weren’t even qualified to do what Jesus would
call them to do. He said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose
sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them. Whose sins you
shall retain, they are retained.” But He gave them what He was
going to give them after fifty days. He gave them the Holy Spirit
that turned impetuous men like Peter, idle dreamers like John,
and ambitious men like James and his brother John, into men
who became more than qualified to proclaim the Good News.
Most of them, except John, were martyred. That’s the Holy Spirit
at work in them.
People usually pray to Jesus or God but we also need to get
to know the Holy Spirit personally. In my forty-three years as
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a priest, I have given about twenty-five thousand sermons. Not
once have I sat down to prepare a homily without first saying the
traditional prayer to the Holy Spirit: “Come, Holy Spirit, fill the
hearts of Your faithful. Enkindle in them the fire of Your love.
Send forth Your Spirit and they shall be created, and You shall
renew the face of the earth.” I say that prayer also every time I
get into a confessional. Otherwise, I will just be relying on my
talents. I wouldn’t be able to connect with anybody.
However we serve God, we should invoke the Holy Spirit.
Once we do, we can rely on what Jesus promised when He
empowered the Apostles to preach, teach, and sanctify. We are
empty vessels through which Jesus with the Holy Spirit can use
to touch others.
Get to know the Holy Spirit personally because He is the
third person of the Blessed Trinity. He will make a huge difference
in your life. Google the beautiful Novena to the Holy Spirit. Or
you can attend a Life in the Spirit Seminar.
The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to pray. He gives the
wisdom to enable us to counsel people. He gives you courage and
the words to say when you go for a job interview. He reminds
you of what you studied for your exam.
You will be amazed at the difference the Holy Spirit will
make in your life.
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As successful as I feel at being able to preach
and the great joy that comes from confession,
I feel this emptiness. Of all the people that I
want to reach, it’s my brother—and I can’t.
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Chapter Thirty-ONE
The Fine Art of Listening
P
eter thought this was it. Jesus gave him the keys to the
Kingdom and now they’re on top of this mountain. He
sees Jesus transformed into pure light, together with two
religious celebrities, Moses and Elijah. Moses the lawgiver, Elijah
the prophet.
Excited, Peter said, “Lord, let’s build three tents—one for
You, one for Moses, one for Elijah.” Then he could have added,
“James, you take care of all the people who are going to come up
to the mountain and want to see Elijah. John, you take care of
all the people who want to come up the mountain to see Moses.
And I’ll be the one to oversee who gets in to see Jesus.”
In his mind, Peter probably had the idea that it would be
a way to make a little money and he would be the gatekeeper.
This, too, is the only time in Jesus’ ministry that God the Father
interrupted Peter. At the very beginning of Jesus’ ministry, the
Father spoke from heaven, “This is My Son in whom I am well
pleased.” But at the Transfiguration, Peter got it wrong that the
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The Fine Art of Listening
Father once again spoke, “Peter, this is My beloved Son. Stop
talking. Listen to Him.”
With all the sophistication of our communication
technology, nothing will ever replace the fine art of the listening
ear.
Let me tell you about something that has cut a hole through
my soul for some forty years.
Every week, I get the opportunity to speak to thousands of
people during my Masses. I hear confessions and look forward
to that because people come, sometimes with very embarrassing
sins. Sometimes they’ve been away from God for a long time.
Sometimes they don’t even know where to begin. But hopefully,
by the end of an encounter in that sacrament, they’ll leave their
guilt in the confessional and feel alive again. There is nothing
more that lifts the hearts of a priest than to see people muster the
courage to go to confession and just lay their load down. People
come up to affirm me in my priesthood. They say, “Oh, Father,
when you speak, it just hits me in the heart.” But deep inside, I
felt like a failure. Back in 1968, I had already been in the seminary
for two years. My older brother had joined the Franciscans but
later discerned that it wasn’t for him. He came out at the end of
November 1968 and got a job as a bartender.
He and my sister, Suzie, were very close. In February, Suzie
got the flu. On April 11, 1969, she died of heart disease at the age
of twenty-five. It broke our family, especially my brother.
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A month later, I was driving him to work and he said to
me, “Bobby, I can’t pray anymore. I don’t know what to pray.” I
was out of words. Two years in the seminary but I didn’t know
what to say. I didn’t listen. So I drove him to work in silence. He
didn’t say another word. Since that day, he hasn’t allowed me to
get within ten feet of him to talk about God. Every time I go
back to the United States, I visit him and we watch a movie. I’ll
bring up something that hopefully will convince him to go back
to the Church. But every time I mention anything about the
faith, he’s a genius at changing the subject. Then when I leave to
go back to the Philippines, I say, “John, I’m going to give you my
blessing.” He looks at me with a blank stare of the living dead.
I bless him, but he doesn’t even bless himself. As successful as I
feel at being able to preach and the great joy that comes from
confession, I feel this emptiness. Of all the people that I want to
reach, it’s my brother—and I can’t.
Then something happened.
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Sometimes, we can feel like a total failure
even though in the eyes of many, we’re very
successful. There’s no one reading this who
doesn’t know someone like my brother.
Someone who has fallen away from the faith
for whatever reason.
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Chapter THIRTY-two
God Finds a Way Amidst
Our Failure
O
ne day, I got a telephone call. John was rushed to
the intensive care unit. I was in the States then and
it would take me an hour to drive to the hospital. I
didn’t know if he would live or die. This could be my one last
chance to reach him.
On the way to the hospital, I prayed, “Lord, I’m scared. I
don’t know what I’m going to do when I go inside that intensive
care room. All these fortysome years I’ve been trying to say
something about You to John and he has rejected me and You.
Give me the gift of courage not to hold back.” I took the elevator
and went into the intensive care unit. He had an oxygen mask
that totally covered his face. God gave me a great grace. I went
right over to his bed, and for the first time, I zeroed in on his
eyes. I said, “John, I don’t know if you’re going to make it or not.
I want to anoint you and give you the last rites. Do you want
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that?” Every time that I had asked him if he wanted to go to
Communion at Christmastime, he’d say, “No. It’s OK.” But this
time, he nodded his head.
“I have to ask you a very important question,” I continued.
“Johnny, are you sorry for all the sins of your whole life?”
“Yes,” he replied. I anointed him. The words that a priest
wants to say to every penitent, I was finally able to say to my
brother after more than four decades. I said, “John, by the power
the Apostolic See has given me, I grant you a plenary indulgence
and I absolve you from all the sins of your entire life, in the name
of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
He recovered, but three weeks later, he had to have his leg
amputated above the knee. It was another tragedy not unlike my
sister’s death. Would this send him into depression? Would he
think God was punishing him, that this was his penance?
But just the opposite of what I expected happened. When
I saw him at the rehab center and nursing home where he was
recuperating, we talked. Finally. “Johnny, do you remember in
the hospital when I gave you the last rites?”
He said, “Yeah.”
“What did that mean to you?” I asked.
“Bobby, I’m OK with God now. I’m OK with myself,” he
replied.
They thought he’d have to stay in the nursing home for a
few months but he was released four weeks after my visit. He is
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doing well, so positive is his attitude that he was able return to
his apartment. Now he receives communion every day. There are
priests who visit Holy Family Manor Personal Care Home in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and talk to him. Maybe he shares with
them things that he couldn’t share with his younger brother. Last
time I spoke to him, I said, “Johnny, I’m going to preach about
you a little bit tomorrow.”
“Huh?”
“Yes. I’m going to preach about you tomorrow.” And now
his story is in my book, blessing many.
Sometimes, we can feel like a total failure even though in
the eyes of many, we’re very successful. There’s no one reading this
who doesn’t know someone like my brother. Someone who has
fallen away from the faith for whatever reason. They’re angry at
God, they’re angry at life. They’re depressed. They’ve had failures
and they don’t pray anymore. And when you try to get close to
them, they reject you because they see the joy you have that they
don’t have. And this makes them angry at you.
Don’t give up on them. God loves them a billion times
more than we’re capable of even thinking. Trust that where you
can’t find a way—where I could not find a way for over forty
years—God in His grace and in His providence will find a way.
Someday, by God’s grace, your father, your mother, your lolo,
lola, brother, sister, whoever it is who doesn’t go to church, will
say to you, “Today, I’ll go with you to that Feast.” You can bring
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them there. Bring them home to the place where they are loved.
Let’s offer our Masses for any of you who have a “Johnny,”
for that someone you love who does not share your joy and faith
in Jesus.
Trust God with the one you love.
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About the Author
Fr. Bob McConaghy is a retired priest from the diocese of
Allentown, Pennsylvania. Having retired from active parish
ministry for health reasons, he has come back to Manila,
Philippines where he has been serving for eight years at Lorenzo
Mission Institute Seminary in Guadalupe, Makati City, where
he also lives. He is spiritual director to many of the seminarians
there. Nowadays, he gives retreats and offers pastoral counseling
in Greenbelt Chapel, also in Makati City. He has produced many
DVDs and CDs of his seminars.
His first book, Closer: Pray Your Way to Intimacy with
God, is blessing many, just as how his talks and homilies leave
hearts on fire for Jesus.
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god Wants to Be in your Every Season
Deeper
The rituals and traditions that complement our faith can be overwhelming. Or
they may seem archaic to others that their response is to become indifferent to
these practices and celebrations. Finding
That’s
why
this
Grace
in Every
Seasonbook is a breath of fresh air to
those who want to enliven their faith.
Through this soul-kindling collection of homilies, Fr. Bob McConaghy invites us
to take God’s hand and experience His love and presence in every season of the
liturgical year.
Father Bob gives light to theological truths by presenting them in easy-to-digest
stories and insights. He gives practical ways to live out your faith during Lent,
Easter, Advent, Christmas, and the Ordinary Time.
Let your spirit soak in love and grace at every season of the year as you deepen your
relationship with the Lord.
Father Bob has a gift of delivering the truth from a fresh, different perspective. This
book will help you embrace the teachings and traditions of our Catholic Church
more. As you read these pages, you will find that you want to pray more, fast more,
love more.
– Arun Gogna
Bestselling author of Happy Secrets to an Obedient Life
Fr. Bob McConaghy is a retired priest from the diocese of Allentown, Pennsylvania.
Having retired from active parish ministry for health reasons, he has come back to
Manila, Philippines where he has been serving for eight years at Lorenzo Mission
Institute Seminary in Guadalupe, Makati City, where he also lives. He is spiritual
director to many of the seminarians there. Nowadays, he gives retreats and offers
pastoral counseling in Greenbelt Chapel, also in Makati City. He has produced
many DVDs and CDs of his seminars.
ISBN 978-971-007-205-7
e-ISBN
978-971-007-206-4
www.kerygmabooks.com
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