Wednesday 30 December 2020
'Foxy'
What a year! It's had it's ups and downs. I've been grateful to be one of the
few who's not been too affected by covid, the perks of playing online poker
eh?
I remember at the start of the year planning out my goals, and how much I
could achieve, and boy did I undershoot the mark! I remember starting off at
5NL in March hoping that with plenty of hard work, I would be able to begin
the next year taking shots at 50NL. There's 2 days left of 2020 and I'm
delighted to say I've just completed my first month at 100NL. I didn't play a
ton of volume, I guess I was still afraid that these 100NL guys might be so
much better than me, little did I know... They aren't.
It's been a funny journey this year. When I look back at all the hard work I set
out to do, I have done most of it.
I was very lazy before and I didn't realise how much more I could actually do.
The bar will be set much higher for 2021. As I reflect back on this, it's given
me a great feeling of confidence in my ability going forward. I never had too
much encouragement anywhere in life, people always pointed out the flaws,
and not the positives (so forgive me when I do this to you, I'm working on it I
promise!). So this new confidence has really changed me as a person. It's
hard to describe, I guess it's the opposite of paranoia, whatever that is. I feel
like the whole world is conspiring for everything to work out perfect for me.
Maybe this is a stupid delusion, but does it matter if I really feel it?
So what went right this year?
1. I guess where it really started was when I found my why for playing poker.
I came to understand all of the reasons why this is what I want to spend my
life doing. This is important, every day the drive is still there, I have reasons
that I can't forget when I wake up (Maybe I'll write another blog post about
this soon). That really gave me the foundation to be able to keep going even
when the downswings went for -47BIs.
2. This year I joined a gym, well 3 months ago really, it's helped me so much.
I've not been able to train jiu-jitsu this year and it took me a long time to fill
that void. I've never lifted weights before but there's something about lifting
heavy weights that does the world of good for confidence. Even for smaller
things, like my posture sitting in front of the pc. I'm grateful for having found
this past time.
3. For poker specifically. Applications of No Limit Hold Em allowed me to
improve my understanding of the maths behind poker and helped immensely
with my game. If you really want to learn all the maths it's pain staking and
slow, but worth it. Other than this the big shout out has to go to RunItOnce
elite subsciption. $99 dollars for a month and I was able to create my own
library of videos that I need to learn, the coaches are incredible. I spent so
much time looking at CFP's and courses that will give me all of the answers,
it was wasted time. For me personally, it was never going to work, I have to
just get up off my ass and find my own asnwers.
4. Diet. I've always been very experimental with this but I feel like I've
developed my perfect diet plan this year. I'm trying to only eat whole foods
now, no processed foods, which unfortunately includes pasta! But it's all
about sacrifices. I'll switch between diets now, I'll spend 8 months of the year
eating my regular diet and 4 months on a ketogenic diet, which, for mental
clairty and function, could only be compared to Adderal or amphetamine in
terms of brain power. At least for me.
5. On the topic of drugs. Well I'm happy to say that this year I've avoided the
use of many hard drugs. Ok ok, I still had 1 crazy night in the summer, but it's
something that I don't want to do any more. I'm very happy about this. A
weekend of cocaine means I can't think at a high level for 4 or 5 days after,
FUCK THAT! Bye bye. Drugs was always something that interested me,
calling me a psychonaut might be an understatement XD. So this year I'm
happy I eliminated the party drugs. I still took a bunch of LSD, mushrooms,
and must have smoked DMT about 30 times, but I'm grateful for these, they
have changed my life and made me a much more peaceful person, I don't take
these to feul my ego, I take them to learn.
So what went wrong?
1. Well, I'll carry on where I left off. Drugs. So what went wrong, well I've
smoke a lot of weed this year, like A LOT! I've decided to quit for good now,
nothing holds me back more than this. It's the main reason why I've started
this blog, so I can hold myself accountable in writing. I feel like quitting is the
most important thing I can do in my life right now and I'm confident I will do
it.
2. How much work I have done. Like I mentioned earlier, I set the bar too
low, I could have done so much more this year. But no point in being hard on
myself, lesson learned! Going forward there can be no excuses.
3. I didn't keep a diary writing down all of my thoughts. Problem solved.
Until next time,
Foxy
"If you want to, you will find a way. If not, you will find excuses."
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